Women should be seen and not heard, speak only when spoken to, and mind their manners in the presence of others. A "well-bred" woman will refrain from using foul language, wear only clothing that is deemed socially acceptable, and be discreet about her sexuality.
If you were raised in the church or any old heads in the South, you know that historically, this way of thinking was dominant in the black community and pretty much the entire world. Oh, the hoops women have to jump through to be considered "ladylike"; it should be a paid position in and of itself. Luckily, we now live in a world where I can proudly say "f*ck that," wear whatever the hell I want to and know that it doesn't make me any less of a woman.
Prince prodigy and sci-fi superbabe Janelle Monae agreed with my way of thinking in a recent interview with ESSENCE. The 33-year-old star of the upcoming feature film, Ugly Dolls, told the publication that how you gauge her womanhood is not and never has been a reflection of the woman that she actually is.
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"There's always this constant idea of what's ladylike and what a woman should do. Let's stop listening to what people tell us we should do and just do what's in our hearts and what's in our spirit."
In the past, the androgynous star has been transparent about her sexuality and her refusal to conform to societal norms has made her one of the hottest entertainers in the industry. After coming out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community last year on the cover of Rolling Stone, she's made an effort to shift the narrative in the black community of what it means to be a queer, Black woman one boss move at a time. In an intimate conversation with fellow songwriter, Lizzo, she had this to say:
"With 'Dirty Computer', I made a bigger declaration to myself — that I'm not putting out an album if I can't be all of me. You're gonna take the blackness, you're gonna take the fact that I love science fiction. You're gonna take the fact that I am a free ass motherf*cker. You're gonna take that all in and because that is what you're gonna get."
She told ESSENCE that her confidence to be the pro-black, non-conformist badass that she was by learning to take the advice of others with a grain of salt. Janelle explained that she knows what it's like to have both your body and sexuality policed by people that don't even know you; even the people we love can sometimes try to push us into being someone that we're not.
The singer emphasized the importance of letting the people around you know that your body is your own, they don't own you. This is why the previously somewhat conservative artist says she's grown comfortable with showing more skin on stage:
"I've always been clear that it's important for me to remind myself and remind others that I have agency over my body. I get to decide when, where, how, and not live by anybody else's interpretation of what they thought I was. The message has always been very clear."
According to Janelle, being honest with others starts with gaining the ability to be real with yourself. Walking in your truth also means learning to love and accept your eccentricities and know that they are what makes you truly unique. She told POPSUGAR:
"We are one living, breathing organism — humanity. We depend on each other to survive. What makes us one is the many unique things about us. A puzzle piece is not the same, but when you come together, you create a beautiful puzzle that was put together and everyone can marvel at. That's what humanity represents. We each are a piece of that puzzle, and we're designed uniquely to do a specific thing."
"Self-love starts inward. If you don't love you, I don't think you could ever really love anybody else."
The Hidden Figures actress explained that after being bullied in her childhood, she had to learn that she may never be ladylike enough for other people, so she just had to be good enough for herself. Once she did, she learned:
"Once you start walking in your truth, you'll start finding your tribe of folks who are walking in their truths. And then you guys can take down the patriarchy and abusers of power."
Power to the people, Ms. Monae.
Read the full ESSENCE interview here and check out the trailer for her new film, Ugly Dolls below!
UglyDolls Trailer #1 (2019) | Movieclips Trailerswww.youtube.com
Featured image by Rich Fury/Getty Images
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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