Unapologetically Owning Your Sexuality Doesn’t Make You A Hoe Or Prude
Getty Images

Unapologetically Owning Your Sexuality Doesn’t Make You A Hoe Or Prude

Her Voice

A woman has every right to be unapologetic about getting hers. Unfortunately, to much of the world, her way of life is synonymous with promiscuity.

Like many other aspects of black culture, labels like "hoe," "thot," and whatever other degrading terminology is used to reference sexually free women these days, have been normalized to dehumanize black women. These inaccurate generalizations of sexualized women humanize cruel acts committed against women of color, including rape and sexual abuse.

Stereotypes like "the jezebel" have evolved to fit our modern day perception of a "hoe" and holistic images of "the good girl" have been reinvented over time to fit into the repressed box of pop culture.

The common ideology among our generation is: "I'll respect a woman, but a hoe ain't got nothing coming." This way of thinking echoes a cultural belief that dehumanizes groups of blacks women to justify, build tolerance, and perpetuate the cycle of disrespect and abuse.

We continue to box black women into these roles through the power of our words and mindsets. Meanwhile, we fail to recognize that in this spirit, we're keeping the same energy of the masters who enslaved our ancestors.

The suppression of women's sexuality was no accident, as men have long known the power of p*ssy. They remain as eager as ever to mute our most divine right to it. On the contrary, women who antagonize other women for their wayward ways have underestimated or fear the power of the p*ssy and the exponential power derived from firmly standing in your right to exist as a sexual being.

There are women who deem their peers who choose sexual liberation over repression unlady-like, which in all actuality is a misguided attempt at projecting our own sexual hangups onto other women. It's as though we as black women have become content with working overtime to ensure that we don't fall on either side of the spectrum.

We struggle to find the delicate balance between being a lady in the street, and a freak where man deems it Godly and respectable.

I believe it is the prejudice perpetuated against women we deem inferior to ourselves that continues to stagnate the black feminist agenda. This way of thinking stands to excuse the misogynistic actions against women of color from both inside and outside of the black community. This happens everyday on social media, the most recent incident involved one highly famed rap superstar who found herself in a world of trouble after she candidly slut-shamed women under the guise of uplifting them.

Nicki Minaj, someone who sells sex on many levels, could have easily taken the opportunity to bring women together and help to create a sense of self in regards to our sexuality. But she didn't. And what she and women like her fail to realize is that anyone who justifies the mistreatment of women either verbally or physically simply because they're uncomfortable with the level at which they assert their sexuality is further contributing to the disrespect of black women through these dated practices of misogyny.

Tearing down women simply because they are sex workers (strippers, prostitutes, etc), like to f*ck, or even choose to abstain from f*cking is not uplifting and it's not where it's at as far as womanhood is concerned. You see, to tear down one is to tear down all.

Women can only be truly free when we liberate ourselves sexually and embrace the power to be and do what (and who) we choose. Women who have found that liberation aren't bogged down by the double standards of the world and they aren't living to appease outdated expectations that were created by a sexist patriarchy.

A woman who discovers sexual liberation is detached from labels and open to simply living her life for no other than herself. She lives carefree, according to her own perception of self, instead of struggling to perpetuate the image of what she ought to be.

She is who I strive to be, and as quiet as it's kept, she's who many of you strive to be as well.

Featured image by Giphy

6 Items NYC's Most Stylish Can’t Wait To Wear This Fall

This year I had the pleasure of attending my very first New York Fashion Week where I witnessed the best of fashion both on and off the runway. In between highly anticipated shows and jam-packed schedules industry insiders dominated the street style scene making their very own impression on the world. Buyers to bloggers, editors, and stylists were captured serving one-of-a-kind looks that will forever live in Fashion Week history.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
KevOnStage And His Wife Melissa Don’t Want To Be “Relationship Goals”

Being married or in any type of long-term relationship takes intention and diligence. No one could tell you that better than comedian and social media personality KevOnStage (Kevin Fredericks) and his wife and partner Melissa.

Keep reading...Show less
From Love & Basketball to The Woman King, The Evolution of Gina Prince-Bythewood

Of all the joys that came from my recent viewing of The Woman King in theaters, my favorite was simply watching another one of Gina Prince Bythewood’s visions brought to life. Since 2000 when she came on to the scene with her sports romantic drama Love and Basketball, Bythewood has built a diverse filmography that centers Black women.

Keep reading...Show less
Bags Secured: How Tia Mowry Continues To Make Money Moves Outside Of Acting

After 25 + years in the entertainment industry, Tia Mowry has remained a mainstay in many of our lives. Tia and her twin sister Tamera garnered fame after starring in their own TV series Sister, Sister, which premiered in 1994 and since then we have seen them venture into solo endeavors. Tia, specifically, went on to act in the film Baggage Claim, Netflix’s series Family Reunion, and who can forget her role as Melanie Barnett in The Game?

Keep reading...Show less
5 Ways To Keep It Together On A Stressful Work Day

Stress is a common part of living, especially when it comes to work. For women, the impact can be felt even more due to workplace issues including unequal pay, gender discrimination, and race-related aggressions. In fact, research shows that professional women experience more stress than men, with a 46% prevalence for those employed full-time (versus 42% for men).

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts