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Nicki Minaj Is A Reminder That Dimming Another Woman's Light Won't Make Yours Shine Brighter
A man once told me that a woman should never go broke because of the sole fact that she has a p*ssy. His statement rung like bells in my mind, because there have been times where I felt that my pussy was the only thing of value I had to offer this world. I am well aware of my talents and gifts, but I am also aware that sometimes the world doesn't give a damn.
Since I was 16 and declared my career as a performing artist, I have been juxtaposed against Nicki Minaj both positively and negatively. I have had some men praise me for my boldness in discussing my sexuality, while others say that because I am conservative, I am somewhat better than the other women in my field who sell sex.
Because of this consistent comparison, I found myself on the stage of a strip club in a small town in South Carolina my freshman year of college, grinding up against an older asian man who thought he was doing me a favor by sticking a crumpled $5 bill into my exposed brassiere.
I felt embarrassed and cheap, and wondered what kind of woman could do that to herself. Soon after, I realized that it was me. I was that kind of woman. A woman who was down to her last dollar and had chosen exotic dancing as a temporary means of survival. It wasn't the first time I had considered exploiting my body in exchange for consistent revenue in my pocket, but it was the last time I would act on it.
Though I can't say that I now understand the life of a sex worker, my experience gave me a new perspective about feminism and sexuality in reference to my identity as a woman. True feminism means respecting and demanding true equality for all women, not just ones who think like me or make the same choices.
During the time of my short-lived strip club expose, one of the most popular images of women in the entertainment industry was Nicki Minaj, and though I didn't always agree with her decision to sell sex, I was infatuated with her vision of sexual liberation for women.
Her impact on the industry has been tremendous, and her new album reveals that she isn't done yet. But in a recent interview with Elle, Nicki pulled up with a vibe that I wasn't really feeling. The Queen rapper received internet-wide backlash from critics who claimed hypocrisy. In the interview she said:
"Whether you're a stripper, or whether you're an Instagram girl — these girls are so beautiful and they have so much to offer. But I started finding out that you give them a couple thousand dollars, and you can have sex with them. I was like, 'Yikes.' It's just sad that they don't know their worth. It makes me sad as a woman. And it makes me sad that maybe I've contributed to that in some way … I can't look down on these girls. I may not be having sex with people, but I'm selling sex appeal. "I just don't know if girls who look up to me think that when I'm posting a sexy picture. I'm actually the antithesis of all of that. I'm more of, like, the snobby girl, like the 'Uh, what?' type of girl. And I want girls to be like that. I'd rather you be called snobby or a bitch or conceited — I'd rather you be called that than easy, and a ho, and a slut."
Media has an addiction with the physical and mental abuse of black women. Judging from the combination of twerk and fight videos gone viral, you would think that our kind was in some sort of apocalypse. In my opinion, during a journey to spiritual clarity, Nicki may have fallen victim to this addiction along with the rest of mainstream America.
Criticizing women who are victims of, or have even chosen a career in the sex work industry to reaffirm her own ego is an example of how we as women sometimes feel that by dimming someone else's light, ours will shine brighter, and that assumption is just not true.
Though I can understand her point and appreciate her taking responsibility for the part she's played in our misogynistic culture, her comment was hypocritical, anti-feminist, and completely stood against what made me fall so deeply in love with her artistry.
In the entertainment industry, more specifically in the rap game, black women's bodies have been used as pawns and targets of unwarranted scrutiny. Because of this ideology, some women have fallen victim to the misconception that our bodies are tools for the world's aesthetic pleasures, but Nicki was and is consistently a part of changing that culture.
Women like Lil' Kim, Trina, Nicki Minaj, and Cardi B used their leverage in misogyny to affirm a message to women that our agency is our own. They worked to develop a new narrative for women, which reclaimed words like "bitch", "slut", and "hoe", and took terms that were meant to be derogatory to women and repurposed them in songs that are empowering.
Her comment in Elle seemingly erased all of the work that she so bravely accomplished in helping women encourage their own ideas about sexual liberation and womanhood. Though I haven't always agreed with her method, I always knew that there was a means to her end, one of which was making women feel proud of who they were, despite labels or job titles.
Though I'm sure Nicki's comment was only a temporary lapse in judgement and can be solved easily by a capable publicist, we can all learn a lesson from the clapback she received from the internet.
A real queen fixes another woman's crown without telling the world that it was crooked in the first place. We have some serious healing and rebuilding to do as women of color, but we can never do that by tearing each other down.
Featured image by Giphy
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images