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Why Celebrating Other Women Is A Win For You Too

Love & Relationships

Being happy for another woman's major moves doesn't take away from your own accomplishments.


In fact, showing appreciation for your fellow girl boss can actually boost your own confidence and push you to go even harder. You can't go wrong with saluting another woman, but I know that this is easier said than done. I'm an introvert, so even saying the nicest things to someone I don't know can feel super awkward.

Related: 7 Ways Women Can Empower One Another

The reality is, you never know what a woman needs to hear to keep going, even from a perfect stranger. Your positivity toward her has the ability to turn her entire day around, and that's a great feeling. Ultimately, there are more positive side effects to clapping it up for another woman than there are for tearing her down, or not saying anything at all. Here's why celebrating other women is actually a win for you, too.

1. It Will Kill Your Own Insecurities

Cheering on another woman can make you feel so much better about yourself. I'll never forget when Gabrielle Union explained her struggle with this concept on Jada Pinkett Smith's Red Table Talk series. She told the story of when she was at a Hollywood party, and made it a point to come for for almost every woman in the room in attempt to make herself feel bigger. Her jealous comments included everything from wondering how they got on the list to criticizing their attire. It was then that her life coach, actress AJ Johnson, stepped in and asked Gabi if blasting these other women made her feel any better about herself. It didn't. It's safe to say she isn't the only woman dealing with deeply rooted insecurities. But, one thing I noticed that Gabrielle has done lately is intentionally celebrate other women with the #WCW feature on her Instagram.

She explained how she's been able to change her inner hate for other women into love and celebration, which has slowly but surely helped to erase her own insecurities. It's just something about celebrating another woman that makes you feel good about yourself. Instead of coming down on a woman because deep down she's your desired body shape, or is living the career of your dreams, celebrate her. The more you do that, the more you'll see your own strength and positive attributes because they're definitely there. They just have to stop hiding behind those insecurities.

2. It Can Build Your Own Network of Positive Women

It's the law of attraction. When you celebrate other women, other women will celebrate you. By this logic, sooner than later, you'll have a network of boss women who clap it up for each other on the regular. There's definitely more positivity and power in cheering on another woman than attempting to tear her down in hopes of feeling better about yourself, even if this jealousy is subconscious. Both options bring attention, but it's not all good.

When you build up another woman, whether it's complimenting her earrings, or acknowledging a major move, you attract the same type of love. When you tear her down, you attract negativity. Celebrating a woman that you look up to can lead to her becoming your mentor in real life, or just a good friend that you can trust. On the flip side, the friendships that start with a common dislike for someone don't last, and can turn toxic with a quickness. It's important that you're clear about what type of friend and network you want to have.

3. You'll Be Happier With Your Own Life

Sounds a little ironic, doesn't it? But when you decide to recognize the positive that lies within another woman, you'll start to see the good things in your own life. To be clear, it's not the same as cheering her on and wishing you had the same thing. Instead, it's realizing that you have your own lane to rock, and that only you can do it well. Doing it for the culture sometimes creates competition among women, but the most challenging competition is the one that exists within yourself. Having this mindset can motivate you to go down the path that's meant for you, all while you cheer on the women around you who are doing their own thing.

Celebrating other women and sincerely being happy for them can also cancel out jealousy. A good rule of thumb might even be to genuinely compliment a woman on something you've had issues with, or felt jealous about in the past or present. You'll soon discover that you're pretty amazing too. The whole "kill them with kindness" vibe doesn't just benefit them. This state of mind helps you find happiness internally as well.

4. You'll Become Your Best Cheerleader

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Celebrating other women is a reminder to celebrate your damn self every once in a while. You deserve a good pat on the back too, and you should never be afraid to tell yourself that. Being a celebrator of all things women can make you feel more comfortable with doing the same for yourself. Like I said before, saluting another woman will in no way stifle your own power. As you make it a goal to say something nice to another woman, create those same objectives for yourself. Whether it's reciting positive affirmations in the morning, or leaving sticky notes around the house that are riddled with encouraging messages, you don't have to feel like you're missing out on any love when you use your energy to cheer on another shero.

Encouraging other women will give you the boost you need to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. This new sense of adventure will offer you even more of a reason to celebrate yourself, along with all the other women you happen to meet on your journey.

Featured image by Shutterstock

ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

Reparations

We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
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Featured image by Shutterstock

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