With movies like Do the Right Thing, School Daze, and Crooklyn, Spike Lee boldly told the stories of people of color in a way that no one had before. The widely acclaimed director brought his talents to Netflix in 2017, and now, after an 18-month hiatus, the series adaption of his 1986 film She's Gotta Have It has returned to the streaming platform for a second season that did not disappoint.
The first season ended with the polyamorous, afrocentric, Brooklyn-born shero Nola Darling making peace with her chaotic romantic life and taking a step forward in her creative career. Season 2 picks up two years later, with Nola trying to find her balance in her newfound stardom while giving monogamy a shot with her former lover Opal.
Just like the first season, the latest installment of She's Gotta Have It is jam-packed with steamy sex scenes, and a whole troth of hot tea. If you haven't had time to binge the new season just yet, here's a no-spoiler roundup of everything you have to look forward to:
Season 2 Is An Ode To Spike Lee
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Along with a cameo from Rosie Perez (Do The Right Thing), there are a number of scenes that pay homage to the original king of Black filmmaking. In the first episode, you'll see Nola and Opal's daughter, Skylar, recreate a nostalgic scene from Crooklyn that will take you all the way back to 1994.
Nola Gives Monogomy A Try
Netflix
At the end of Season One, Nola is awakened from her sleep by a knock on the door. To her surprise, she's met by an old flame who will inspire her to give up her life of polyamory to be a one-woman woman. In the second season, we see Nola give both monogamy and parenting a try when she settles down with single mom Opal. But is Nola ready to give up her multi-lover lifestyle to be a kept woman?
The World Of Mars
Netflix
Mars is Nola's funny, free-spirited, Jordan-rocking lover who never seems to have a bad day. In season two, we learn that Mars is a more complicated being than we previously assumed. Faced with issues like homelessness, unemployment, and fatherhood, we see Mars in a new, more serious light that proves that he's more than just a funny bike mechanic with a fetish for Jordans.
Shamekka's Got A New Man…. And A New Hustle
Netflix
After Shamekka had a horrifying experience with her botched butt injections at the Hot-N-Trot last season, we get to see Nola's bestie heal both internally and externally. After giving up her dreams of being a big booty burlesque dancer, Shemekka has a new career and a new relationship, both of which take form in the second season.
Best friends Forever Or Nah?
Netflix
In 2017, we got a glimpse into some of Nola's loving yet dysfunctional relationships with her female friends, Shamekka and Clorinda. While Shamekka is healing from her unfortunate plastic surgery accident, Clorinda and Nola work to mend their fractured relationship. Season one revealed that Nola broke the number one rule of the Girl Code when she slept with Clorinda's boyfriend, Mars, and Season two reveals that there's a lot more to the story.
This season, we not only get to dive deeper into Nola's romantic relationships, but we get an in-depth look at how our female friendships can be the most heartbreaking relationships in our lives.
Nola Abroad
Netflix
Nola makes a historic escape from Brooklyn in Season 2, where she will travel to Martha's Vineyard for a black artist retreat as well as to the hometown of her homie Mars in Puerto Rico to help with relief after Hurricane Maria. Most of She's Gotta Have It is set in Brooklyn, but will Nola be able to rediscover her inspiration to create during her time away from Fort Greene?
Consequences & Repercussions
Netflix
Sleeping with and accepting money from a married man isn't an ideal situation to be in, but Nola ain't perfect, and she never claims to be. In the most recent episodes, Nola takes an introspective look at her choices and is finally forced to face the consequences.
It took me all of two days to watch the entire season, so what are you waiting for, sis?! Get to binging so we can discuss all the tea over a freshly rolled doobie and a cup of wine, Nola Darling-style. You can watch Nola and her castmates conquer the perils of adulthood and success in the second season of She's Gotta Have It, streaming now on Netflix.
Featured image by Netflix.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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