
Live Vicariously Through Nola's Polyamorous Sex Life In the New Netflix Series 'She's Gotta Have It'

This Thanksgiving, our mouths will be watering for more than our grandmother's renowned sweet potato pie.
Netflix is gifting us early with quite the treat in the form of a remake of the 1986 Spike Lee joint She's Gotta Have It. The film not only gained prevalence for the fact that it was Spike's first, but also for its daring subject matter – a woman who unapologetically wants what she wants and has no trouble asking for it, i.e. one with a voracious sexual appetite.
The film's protagonist Nola Darling was that woman and even if you didn't agree with her choices, you admired her for her courage. Now, In 2017, we get to follow Nola through her sexual conquests with her various suitors for 10 episodes.
The millennial black creative is a self-described “sex positive, polyamorous pansexual" and each of the three guys (and the woman) on her dating roster bring something different the table as it relates to the unique value they bring to her love life both inside and outside the bedroom.
The star of the show bringing both color and new life into the updated Nola Darling is Baltimore-bred actress DeWanda Wise. Wise portrays the now fully realized Nola that is a woman who has an appetite for life, love, men, and women, who is ambitious, and insatiable, knows what she wants and doesn't know all at the same damn time. But what she knows she absolutely does not want is monogamy. It is a stark difference from Wise's reality because she's actually married to her husband and former Underground co-star Alano Miller.
Wise articulated her boundaries in a Cassius exclusive:
“We were very, very specific about what was and was not permitted. While viewers will only see the freedom of it, there's a lot you don't see. For example, you will never see any of my co-stars touching or fondling my boobs. There's no frontal on the show. [My husband and I] were super specific about our love and marriage, and keeping what's special and intimate, special and intimate. What turns me on, only Alano knows that."
The suitors on her roster include funny guy Mars who makes her laugh about any and everything, the model Greer who offers spontaneity and constant change, and Jamie – who offers her grown man sexy with the ability to take care of her in a way that exemplifies having it together. For fans of the movie and the show who watch and desire a sex life similar to Ms. Nola Darling's, Wise described to Cassius an easy solution:
“Find a partner who shares your sexual appetite. I have friends who are crazy voyeuristic, but they're compatible. They have the same vision and needs. For Alano [my husband] and myself, we have the same need to be in person, so we make our time together a priority. I think step one is be on the same sexual page. Step two is keep exploring. There are workshops and classes. There's so much you can do to explore what you like."
Black female sexuality is becoming increasingly more seen in the media thanks to shows like Insecure where Issa and Molly express themselves sexually and even Being Mary Jane. She's Gotta Have It not only paved the way for more stories about sexually liberated women of color but will hopefully join the ranks alongside some of those shows known for their women-centric stories that show women as complex sexual beings.
The actress recently told LA Times:
"We really don't see expressions of our sexuality. We sit at the sidelines of stories. So, I'm just thrilled to play people who I recognize as fully human. To say, 'We are here. We are full.' And in Nola's case, 'Yeah, we are sexually liberated.'"
Watch the full trailer for She's Gotta Have It below and be sure to tune in when it drops November 23 on Netflix.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Ashley Versher is known for her work in the Tyler Perry's Beauty In Black series and more recently, she starred alongside Taraji P. Henson in the Netflix film Straw. But she is more than just her acting credits and stunning looks (her hair alone is everything). In an xoNecole exclusive, Ashley dishes on her first celebrity crush, how she spends her downtime, and her go-to haircare products because we need the deets.
Get to know Ashley below.
xoNecole: Where are you from?
Ashley Versher: San Francisco - BAY AREAAAAAA!!!!
xoN: What was your first major acting role?
AV: A 49ers Super Bowl commercial - I think I was 3.
Ashley Versher
Johnny Marlow
xoN: Have you ever had an embarrassing or funny audition story? If so, what happened?
AV: Yes! I was doing a self-tape once and I forgot to take off my bonnet. But the tape was so good I sent it in anyway.
xoN: Your hair is gorgeous. What has it been like navigating Hollywood with natural hair?
AV: Thank you so much! Navigating Hollywood with natural hair has definitely been a journey of self-discovery. Early on, I had to make a conscious decision about how I wanted to show up—not just in this industry, but for myself. Once I fully embraced my natural hair and committed to the journey, everything else began to align. It’s been nothing short of empowering.
Navigating Hollywood with natural hair has definitely been a journey of self-discovery. Early on, I had to make a conscious decision about how I wanted to show up—not just in this industry, but for myself.
xoN: What are your favorite go-to hair products?
AV: Ooooooo, right now I’m loving Camille Rose’s Jai Twisting Butter—it’s super moisturizing and gives me a fun, bouncy twist-out! I’ve also recently gotten into oils, and I’m especially loving sweet almond oil.
xoN: We know you as an actress, but what is another special talent you have that most people don't know about?
AV: I trained as a classical violinist for 13/14years.
xoN: Who is your hero?
AV: My mom. She’s incredible - full stop.
Ashley Versher
Johnny Marlow
xoN: How do you like to spend your down time?
AV: Ha! What’s that!? Jk jk, I love to travel, that’s honestly my favorite thing.
xoN: Who was your first celebrity crush?
AV: Prince.
xoN: What is your dream role?
AV: One day I will play a witch with Harry Potter-like powers!
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Feature image by Johnny Marlow