We put such an emphasis on age in our society. I even do it myself sometimes. And on my latest birthday, I almost let those feelings of inadequacy and insecurity seep into my mind as the clocks struck 12. But once I journaled and had a few moments of reflection, I realized that aging is a gift and an opportunity. It's time to ask yourself, how can I improve? Because one thing is for sure, wine isn't the only thing that gets better with time. I mean just think of your celebrity crushes, time hasn't done anything but bless them as they've gotten older, wiser, and...finer.
When I reflect on the people I look up to, I realize quite a few of them came into their prime as they aged. And if we're talking about physicality, most of my celebrity crushes have aged gracefully. I think it's because there's something so appealing about a man who is experienced and confident in who he is and his appearance. Don't believe me? Check out this list of our favorite MCMs who are 45+, then try to tell me age hasn't turned men we've always envisioned as eye candy into undeniable soul food.
1.Idris Elba, 49 (Married)
Alexander Koerner/Getty Images
I mean, do we really need an explanation? Whether he is starring in a groundbreaking film like Mandela or a culture-changing show like The Wire, Idris Elba somehow always becomes one of our favorite characters. And the amazing acting isn't the only reason why.
2.Nelly, 46 (Single)
Sam Morris/Getty Images
Is it getting hot in here, or is it just us? This week, Nelly was honored at the BET Hip Hop Awards and reminded us why he will always be on our MCM list.
3.Michael Ealy, 48 (Married)
Greg Doherty/Getty Images for HollyShorts Film Festival
Remember the scene in Think Like a Man where Michael Ealy's character (Dominic) licked Lauren's (played by Taraji P. Henson) leg? I think that may have birthed this crush. That, and the eyes.
4.Method Man, 50 (Married)
Johnny Nunez/Getty Images for BET
Have you ever noticed that every time a woman interviews Method Man, she seems to be smiling? I don't think that's a coincidence, his personality, and charming features just draw us in!
5.Morris Chestnut, 52 (Married)
Robin Marchant/Getty Images
Best Man, Boyz in the Hood, Like Mike – and so many more of our classics had Morris Chestnut starring in it. Looking back, I was kinda young to love a couple of these films as much as I did. But, now I appreciate their excellence and Morris Chestnut even more.
6.Boris Kodjoe, 48 (Married)
Paul Archuleta/Getty Images
Whew, Boris Kodjoe never disappoints. And the example he and his wife set for married couples, such as Brian J. White and others, is truly beautiful.
7.Taye Diggs, 50 (Divorced)
Jillian Clark via Getty Images
Brown Sugar is one of my favorite movies of all time but Taye has been in a host of other classics as well. He's been a consistent face we've seen through the years and I never get sick of seeing him. Also, if you want to check him out in something more current, check out All American on Netflix, but be prepared to binge!
8.Omari Hardwick, 47 (Married)
Roy Rochlin/Getty Images
Omari Hardwick. What can we say about that man that melted us all between his roles as the unhappily married man whose heart was elsewhere in Power and Being Mary Jane? It was something we forgave him for though (at times) with one look into those soulful brown eyes and at those six-pack abs. The actor/poet definitely had to make our list.
9.Rick Fox, 52 (Divorced)
Jim Spellman/Getty Images
His life is proof that some people can be a jack of all trades. I mean Rick Fox has conquered basketball, acting, business and so much more. The fact that he has the looks too almost seems unfair.
10.Larenz Tate, 46 (Married)
Brad Barket/Getty Images for STARZ
I had to think long and hard about adding Mr. Larenz Tate to the list. Not because of his looks obviously, but because this is supposed to be an ode to aging, and he literally still looks the same way he did when he was "the blues in our left thigh, trying to be the funk in our right."
Whatever skincare routine or diet he's on, I gotta try it! By the way, if you didn't get that quote, do yourself a favor and watchLove Jones, like today.
Featured image by Jillian Clark via Getty Images
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
_____
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy
