Ahh, it's the most wonderful time of the year. The sound of love is finally in the air but for some of us, the only thing making noise is Janet Jackson's "I Get So Lonely" blasting through our AirPods. But thanks to xoNecole, we've got something for you that'll hopefully perk you right on up, or at least help keep hope alive on the love and romance front.
We've rounded up more than a fair share of eye candy and found out exactly what draws them in about a woman and what they're looking for in their next relationship. Ranging across various industries and zodiac signs (side-eyeing you Geminis though), these fine, fine assortments of chocolate delight are sure to have you blasting "Let's Get Married" in no time.
So if you think you're ready to trade in your Janet Jackson vibes for an Ari Lennox "BMO" mood, check out these 9 gorgeous MCMs and don't ever say we never did anything nice for you. We always got you, sis.
Mike Merrill
@_MikeMerrill_
Courtesy of Mike Merrill
Age: In his twenties
Occupation: Actor, Emcee & Motivational Speaker
Hobbies/Interests: Working out, playing Call of Duty, sports, going to the gun range, creating content and family time
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
Relationship Status: Single
How he prefers to meet a woman...
"If she's already seen me in person, then I would rather meet that way. But if you've seen me on social media first, then I don't mind that either. But my choice would be in person!"
What attracts him to a woman...
"The way she looks overall: her face, body, the way she dresses and the way she walks. But specifically, I love to catch a smiling woman."
What keeps him interested...
"The way she carries herself as a person, meaning the way she speaks and how much personality she has. Honestly, with me, it depends on the woman because I could find different things in a woman firsthand that might get me--that another woman can't. Different women have different flaws and features to them. But if on social media: the marketing of her page, the things she says in her captions, her bio and last but not least the type of work she does. You can get a lot more info on a person through social media before even approaching."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"When we are both in tuned with who we are as separate individuals and can deal with each other through thick and thin based off the bond we've already built thus far. Our energy has to be welcoming most of the time when we're with each other. We have to respect each other on all levels and come to agreements instead of arguing. [We] both [have to] believe in God and truly know the meaning of faith and have it. And even though we're in control of our own happiness, we have to be there for each other to support our individual life choices."
His stance on courtship...
"Hell no! Let me say first: I'm a Cancer, so I feel a lot more than others. If you don't believe in courtship and don't want it, then you don't want me because that's a big factor for me."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"Trust, compassion, and a sense of humor."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"A positive, eventful, smiling/laughing all day and sharing good energy type of day pretty much sums it up for me!"
Romel Rose
Courtesy of Romel Rose
Age: 28
Occupation: Filmmaker & Actor
Hobbies/Interests: Watching movies, making movies, and spending time with family
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Relationship Status: Single, but on a journey of working on my relationship with God
What attracts him to a woman...
"What draws my attention now is seeing how she carries herself: Is she somebody who seeks attention or is she somebody that's confident in herself? And then I try to see what she's about because, in LA, it's slim pickings. And that goes both ways, men and women. Everyone's out here seeking some kind of attention and approval, so you kind of have to know how that person gets down."
What keeps him interested...
"Our interests, if we catch a vibe and just have a good conversation. If we're on the same page and have a similar sense of humor, that's really big for me."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"I never really know, to be honest. From my personal experience, it's always kind of just happened. It was never calculated, it was always like, we started dating and we grew a bond. And then it becomes a thing to where it's like, 'I don't want to be with anybody else and you don't want to be with anybody else, so?' Then you have to have that conversation. I think you kind of know when there's nobody else in the picture. But that changes over time because for me now, I have to look at 'are we compatible?' Just because there's nobody else, it doesn't always mean we're going to be compatible romantically or that we share the same views on different things. It has to be more of a spiritual, soul type of thing; otherwise I'll get bored after six months."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"We have to be spiritually in alignment, it can't be a 'you're attractive and I like you.' It has to be ordained by God, it has to be deeper than that. A sense of humor, and we have to be able to get along. I have to like being around you. Our souls have to be aligned, our spirits need to be aligned, and a sense of humor are my biggest ones. That's just where I am right now."
"We have to be spiritually in alignment, it can't be a 'you're attractive and I like you.' It has to be ordained by God."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"I'm not a big romantic, but honestly it depends on the person you're dating. Catering to what that person likes to do. But something like us going out of town, getting out of LA, leaving our phones in the car and just enjoying each other. That would be dope, I'm not real extravagant. I'm very simple."
Lawrence H. Robinson
Courtesy of Lawrence H. Robinson
Age: 30
Occupation: Actor
Hobbies/Interests: Family time, restaurant-hopping, and relaxing
Zodiac Sign: Aries
Relationship Status: "Single as hell"
How he prefers to meet a woman...
"She can definitely slide in my DMs. I'm not mad at a DM slide, her or me."
What attracts him to a woman...
"Definitely if it comes across as if she doesn't go out too much. Like on social media, if she's posting about her job or her travels and not out at clubs, that'll stick out to me."
What keeps him interested...
"If she notices that I have a son. If that's one of the first things she mentions, that's important to me."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"I'll know when it gets to the point to where I feel like I have to talk to you everyday. If it's a necessity that I talk to you everyday or I need to see you everyday, then we should take it to the next step. I don't want to spend all that time and have all these conversations for us to just say we're just friends."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"We must laugh a lot. I can't stand a serious relationship. We must be able to help each other with our finances. I think that we should be able to communicate and help each other if need be. Not necessarily meaning we always give each other money but just checking up on each other and making sure her bills are intact and my bills are intact. And if we're both in communication about our finances, it could help make both of our lives better. We must be supportive of one another, she has to be my best friend. I believe your partner should be your best friend. She has to outdo them."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"I love to sight-see, so probably somewhere where there's a beautiful view and you can grab dinner. Dinner on a rooftop is always a good thing for me. Dinner on a rooftop, good conversation, and taking in the person I'm with and the environment will always be a solid date for me."
Terayle Hill
Courtesy of Terayle Hill
Age: 26
Occupation: Actor
Hobbies/Interests: Playing basketball, filmmaking, and producing
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
Relationship Status: Single
What attracts him to a woman...
"I don't want to sit here and act like looks don't mean anything, but sometimes you could just hear her voice and notice her energy and that could be it. I think the more I come into who I'm becoming, I feel like I can just feel it. A lot of times when I see someone I'm attracted to, it's because of how I feel when I look at them and not just what they look like. You have to pay attention to both. If you have an energy that pulls in a room, then that's what'll get my attention."
What keeps him interested...
"Her smile. I think if you meet somebody for the first time and they're not smiling, it says a lot about how they feel. And the conversation, so I would say the verbal and non-verbal communication that we have. That'll pretty much sell it for me."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"It depends on what you want. Some people are looking to build, other people are looking for somebody to explore their twenties with. For me personally, I'm trying to build. I have a lot of things I'm working on in the background entrepreneurially, that are very important to me. So if this person has the capacity to deal with the things that I have going on in my life, as well as openness to me being a part of her passion, then I think we can keep each other inspired.You have to check with the mandatory things, her parents accepting you and her family, and the red flags. But if all the standard stuff checks out, then I would have to make sure she aligns with my journey. That's how I would know."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"A good attitude about life. I have to have positive energy. It's a bonus if you're athletic. I like someone who likes to take care of themselves and who pays attention to health and fitness. And a talent. Talent in something, a chef, a singer, a dancer.It's not a requirement but it's definitely something that gets my attention. Talent in something, a chef, a singer, a dancer."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"I like to plan things so it would consist of me planning the day for her and things going exactly how I pictured it in my head while. As long as everything goes well and she's enjoying herself, that's all I care about. I don't necessarily care about me, I think it's the guy's job to pursue and put things in action for the person that we're with. Especially on a day like Valentine's Day."
Jason Shockness
Courtesy of Jason Shockness
Age: 27
Occupation: Software Engineering Student
Hobbies/Interests: Traveling, sports mainly basketball and football, and cooking
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
Relationship Status: Single
How he prefers to meet a woman...
"By chance, only because hopping into DMs usually doesn't lead to anything. When it's a genuine connection and you meet when you're just out and about, I think it's more likely to last. For me, at least."
What attracts him to a woman...
"Definitely her face. There are three things: her face, her body, and her personality. Sometimes you can tell if she's goofy especially on social media or in person."
What keeps him interested...
"Her personality. Something has to stand out about her to make me want to stay and learn more. What's interesting about you? What do you like to do? What are your go-to's? What do you do? You have to ask if you have kids nowadays too."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"When you get a certain vibe from that person and when you feel like you don't want to go out anymore and you just want to be with that person more often. Most of the time your friends will point it out too. That's probably the point when you feel like you want to be exclusive with that person."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"She must be determined, must be a go-getter for sure. She must be down to earth and she must have common sense. It's crazy I have to say that but it's real. A lot of people don't have common sense."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"It would probably be like a weekend vacation. Just the two of us, like if we leave Friday and come back on a Sunday, we just be excluded from the world."
Tripp Fontane
Courtesy of Tripp Fontane
Age: 29
Occupation: Poet & Educator
Hobbies/Interests: Reading and writing, shopping, and having conversation
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
Relationship Status: Single
What attracts him to a woman...
"On social media, it depends on the social network. On Twitter, it would be her thought process, that's really what I look for. Because I know most of it is used for vanity, I really need to see a little bit more than that. Out in public, I would probably say her air of confidence. How confident she is and if she walks with that and how she visibly carries it."
What keeps him interested...
"Her open-mindedness and her sense of humor. I think both are equal because when you have someone who is able to be objective and perspective, that gives you a lot of room to build and relate. And then sense of humor because, for me personally, humor is how I cope with trauma."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"When the level of consideration I have for her starts to go up. And that's a natural process, I think, and not so much of a 'a-ha moment.' When I start thinking of different ways to include her in my plans, that's when it's a bit more serious. When I start thinking of just me less and us more."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"Open-mindedness, a sense of humor, and effective communication."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"First of all, we both have the day off. I'm huge on cooking, so I would cook breakfast to start the day off right. Probably chicken and French toast. Then we would spend the early morning thrifting, hit a couple bookstores, and then take a break around lunch--just because I don't believe in spending the whole day with each other. I'd send her to go get her nails done and her feet done. Then link back up early evening, have a nice beverage at a hole in the wall and hit dinner at her favorite spot. For dessert, probably a local bakery then we'd end the night getting as physical as she would like."
Ritz Williams
Courtesy of Ritz Williams
Age: 32
Occupation: Licensed Barber & Stylist
Hobbies/Interests: Finding good soul food places, spoken word poetry, and go-karting
Zodiac Sign: Gemini
Relationship Status: "I'm single officially, but depending on who's asking that's how that goes."
What attracts him to a woman...
"If she's smiling or not. I think that the most attractive thing about a woman to me is her smile. I like people with good energy. And you can tell alot about someone based off whether they're smiling or they're frowning. Or even if they want to be approached."
"I think the most attractive thing about a woman to me is her smile."
What keeps him interested...
"It would probably be who she's around. What are her friends doing around her, how is she acting? If her friends are being wild and crazy, is she being wild and crazy? And if she is, is that something I want to get to know more about? Or is she the shy one in the group? It depends on who she's around--not that I judge--but I base it off of where I see someone fitting into my life."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"The point where we get past exchanging phone numbers, I've already decided I'm going to pursue this person. I never really start at a casual place because I don't casually exchange my phone number with anybody. I don't casually invite people to my home, I don't casually go out on dates. I don't do anything casual, everything I do has intention. I don't date people just to have fun. And if I see someone that I like, then my intention is to get to know that person and put forth the effort. Now I've always been a one-woman, loyal person. So I'm not really into dating several people at once. So it's kind of easy for me, if I go out of my comfort zone to approach somebody, once things click and our energies match up--then I've already decided that I'm going to pursue this. And the moment she meets me at that level, that's when it's committed."
"I don't do anything casual, everything I do has intention. I don't date people just to have fun. And if I see someone that I like, then my intention is to get to know that person and put forth the effort."
His stance on courtship...
"I don't think it's dead, I think it's evolved though. It's evolved into having an open mind of what courtship means to someone else. Back in the day, courtship was: nice guy, or not-so-nice guy sees a girl, goes after her and does all these grand gestures. And he may or may not end up with her. But now it's like men and women both realize that their worth and their time is important. When it comes to courtship though, speaking for myself--I have no problem going after someone. But if I'm not met with the same energy or I feel like you don't see the same value in me as I see in you, then at that point I'm like, 'I don't want to do this.' But if you hold value in someone, then you should treat them like you do. That's a part of courtship for me, showing equal interests."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"Confidence, patience, and a sense of humor."
His idea of the best Valentine's Day date...
"It would definitely include go-karts, definitely include cheesecake, and I like soul food but my favorite food is lasagna. So a nice lasagna, a fine go-cart, laser tag or live music, followed by dessert at home and quality time with my girl would literally be perfect for me."
Norman Towns
Courtesy of Norman Towns
Age: 34
Occupation: Actor
Hobbies/Interests: Drawing and painting, playing basketball, and building house decor
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Relationship Status: Single
What attracts him to a woman...
"On social media, the only thing that would attract me would be what's on their stories. Their page is just something else but whatever they post on their stories, that gives you insight into who they are and what they like to do for fun. You can see more of their personality and how they move throughout the day. If I'm out, then it would be her eyes. I stare at someone's eyes, that tells me something."
What keeps him interested...
"Their interaction with me within our conversation. You can kind of tell within the dialogue if they're cool or even if y'all can be friends or have an in-depth conversation."
His stance on courtship...
"I don't think it's completely dead, but I think it's 80 years old and on its way out. We live in such a systemized world where it's so narcissistic, and people are really out for themselves. And as a result, a lot of people are doing things--not because they want to do it--but because they're trying to protect themselves from that hurt. We're so guarded. So I dont think it's all the way dead or even wrong. But the society that we live in and the accessibility that we have, we've lost that balance needed for courtship."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"I need a woman who has taken the time to love herself. A lot of times, men and women get into relationships to fill certain voids because we're not happy with who we are by ourselves.But if you don't love yourself, then it's almost impossible for you to love me. I also need someone that's a team player and who understands we're not competing with each other, we're completing each other. And lastly,she has to have a good spiritual foundation."
His idea of the best Valentine's Day date...
"I would go to a museum because it's fun to just talk and I wouldn't say we'll go to an expensive restaurant. But we'll go to a restaurant that she loves."
Andra Fuller
Courtesy of Andra Fuller
Age: "Grown"
Occupation: Entertainer, Actor, Producer, & Soon-To-Be Director
Hobbies/Interests: Traveling, football, & being active and outdoors
Zodiac Sign: "A lovely Gemini"
Relationship Status: "SINGLE single"
How he prefers to meet a woman...
"I'm definitely a more organic person. I would preferably like to meet someone in person. I also take into consideration the place in which you meet somebody, I factor in the environment as well. I wouldn't want to meet somebody at a club or at a certain type of event; but I would prefer to meet them out and about on a natural type of vibe."
What attracts him...
"Their perceived personality. You can't gauge somebody's personality if you never talk to them, but one thing that social media does allow you to do is get a pretty accurate representation of it. A pretty face and a nice body and a nice smile--all those things are good too. But what separates that pretty face from the next one?"
What keeps him interested...
"Our mutual-ness. I hate to be cliche but if the vibe is good, and we mesh well, and her interests seem to meet my interests--then that kind of gives you the green light to further pursue. Sometimes it doesn't always work but you know."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"The tell-tale sign would be if you can see a future with that person. And you're willing to let things progress naturally to take things to the next level. Because let's be real, once you're past the age of 35, nobody's trying to play games. But that doesnt mean everything has to be so serious. And that's not just men or just women, that's universal across the board. If you let things progress organically then maybe you could start seeing some wife potential and some husband potential."
His stance on courtship...
"It's not dead and it shouldn't be dead. The unfortunate thing is, not a lot of men know how to court a woman. This generation just doesnt value it as much and a lot of people aren't up to par when it comes to courting in relationships."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"A sense of humor and fun because I'm a goofy person. Intelligence, I find that very sexy. And then she has to be loving. It's a good feeling to know that the person you're involved with has unconditional love for you and that's rare. I've experienced it before and it was beautiful."
Featured image via Andra Fuller
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Featured image by Giphy
