Ahh, it's the most wonderful time of the year. The sound of love is finally in the air but for some of us, the only thing making noise is Janet Jackson's "I Get So Lonely" blasting through our AirPods. But thanks to xoNecole, we've got something for you that'll hopefully perk you right on up, or at least help keep hope alive on the love and romance front.
We've rounded up more than a fair share of eye candy and found out exactly what draws them in about a woman and what they're looking for in their next relationship. Ranging across various industries and zodiac signs (side-eyeing you Geminis though), these fine, fine assortments of chocolate delight are sure to have you blasting "Let's Get Married" in no time.
So if you think you're ready to trade in your Janet Jackson vibes for an Ari Lennox "BMO" mood, check out these 9 gorgeous MCMs and don't ever say we never did anything nice for you. We always got you, sis.
Mike Merrill
@_MikeMerrill_
Courtesy of Mike Merrill
Age: In his twenties
Occupation: Actor, Emcee & Motivational Speaker
Hobbies/Interests: Working out, playing Call of Duty, sports, going to the gun range, creating content and family time
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
Relationship Status: Single
How he prefers to meet a woman...
"If she's already seen me in person, then I would rather meet that way. But if you've seen me on social media first, then I don't mind that either. But my choice would be in person!"
What attracts him to a woman...
"The way she looks overall: her face, body, the way she dresses and the way she walks. But specifically, I love to catch a smiling woman."
What keeps him interested...
"The way she carries herself as a person, meaning the way she speaks and how much personality she has. Honestly, with me, it depends on the woman because I could find different things in a woman firsthand that might get me--that another woman can't. Different women have different flaws and features to them. But if on social media: the marketing of her page, the things she says in her captions, her bio and last but not least the type of work she does. You can get a lot more info on a person through social media before even approaching."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"When we are both in tuned with who we are as separate individuals and can deal with each other through thick and thin based off the bond we've already built thus far. Our energy has to be welcoming most of the time when we're with each other. We have to respect each other on all levels and come to agreements instead of arguing. [We] both [have to] believe in God and truly know the meaning of faith and have it. And even though we're in control of our own happiness, we have to be there for each other to support our individual life choices."
His stance on courtship...
"Hell no! Let me say first: I'm a Cancer, so I feel a lot more than others. If you don't believe in courtship and don't want it, then you don't want me because that's a big factor for me."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"Trust, compassion, and a sense of humor."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"A positive, eventful, smiling/laughing all day and sharing good energy type of day pretty much sums it up for me!"
Romel Rose
Courtesy of Romel Rose
Age: 28
Occupation: Filmmaker & Actor
Hobbies/Interests: Watching movies, making movies, and spending time with family
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Relationship Status: Single, but on a journey of working on my relationship with God
What attracts him to a woman...
"What draws my attention now is seeing how she carries herself: Is she somebody who seeks attention or is she somebody that's confident in herself? And then I try to see what she's about because, in LA, it's slim pickings. And that goes both ways, men and women. Everyone's out here seeking some kind of attention and approval, so you kind of have to know how that person gets down."
What keeps him interested...
"Our interests, if we catch a vibe and just have a good conversation. If we're on the same page and have a similar sense of humor, that's really big for me."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"I never really know, to be honest. From my personal experience, it's always kind of just happened. It was never calculated, it was always like, we started dating and we grew a bond. And then it becomes a thing to where it's like, 'I don't want to be with anybody else and you don't want to be with anybody else, so?' Then you have to have that conversation. I think you kind of know when there's nobody else in the picture. But that changes over time because for me now, I have to look at 'are we compatible?' Just because there's nobody else, it doesn't always mean we're going to be compatible romantically or that we share the same views on different things. It has to be more of a spiritual, soul type of thing; otherwise I'll get bored after six months."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"We have to be spiritually in alignment, it can't be a 'you're attractive and I like you.' It has to be ordained by God, it has to be deeper than that. A sense of humor, and we have to be able to get along. I have to like being around you. Our souls have to be aligned, our spirits need to be aligned, and a sense of humor are my biggest ones. That's just where I am right now."
"We have to be spiritually in alignment, it can't be a 'you're attractive and I like you.' It has to be ordained by God."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"I'm not a big romantic, but honestly it depends on the person you're dating. Catering to what that person likes to do. But something like us going out of town, getting out of LA, leaving our phones in the car and just enjoying each other. That would be dope, I'm not real extravagant. I'm very simple."
Lawrence H. Robinson
Courtesy of Lawrence H. Robinson
Age: 30
Occupation: Actor
Hobbies/Interests: Family time, restaurant-hopping, and relaxing
Zodiac Sign: Aries
Relationship Status: "Single as hell"
How he prefers to meet a woman...
"She can definitely slide in my DMs. I'm not mad at a DM slide, her or me."
What attracts him to a woman...
"Definitely if it comes across as if she doesn't go out too much. Like on social media, if she's posting about her job or her travels and not out at clubs, that'll stick out to me."
What keeps him interested...
"If she notices that I have a son. If that's one of the first things she mentions, that's important to me."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"I'll know when it gets to the point to where I feel like I have to talk to you everyday. If it's a necessity that I talk to you everyday or I need to see you everyday, then we should take it to the next step. I don't want to spend all that time and have all these conversations for us to just say we're just friends."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"We must laugh a lot. I can't stand a serious relationship. We must be able to help each other with our finances. I think that we should be able to communicate and help each other if need be. Not necessarily meaning we always give each other money but just checking up on each other and making sure her bills are intact and my bills are intact. And if we're both in communication about our finances, it could help make both of our lives better. We must be supportive of one another, she has to be my best friend. I believe your partner should be your best friend. She has to outdo them."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"I love to sight-see, so probably somewhere where there's a beautiful view and you can grab dinner. Dinner on a rooftop is always a good thing for me. Dinner on a rooftop, good conversation, and taking in the person I'm with and the environment will always be a solid date for me."
Terayle Hill
Courtesy of Terayle Hill
Age: 26
Occupation: Actor
Hobbies/Interests: Playing basketball, filmmaking, and producing
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
Relationship Status: Single
What attracts him to a woman...
"I don't want to sit here and act like looks don't mean anything, but sometimes you could just hear her voice and notice her energy and that could be it. I think the more I come into who I'm becoming, I feel like I can just feel it. A lot of times when I see someone I'm attracted to, it's because of how I feel when I look at them and not just what they look like. You have to pay attention to both. If you have an energy that pulls in a room, then that's what'll get my attention."
What keeps him interested...
"Her smile. I think if you meet somebody for the first time and they're not smiling, it says a lot about how they feel. And the conversation, so I would say the verbal and non-verbal communication that we have. That'll pretty much sell it for me."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"It depends on what you want. Some people are looking to build, other people are looking for somebody to explore their twenties with. For me personally, I'm trying to build. I have a lot of things I'm working on in the background entrepreneurially, that are very important to me. So if this person has the capacity to deal with the things that I have going on in my life, as well as openness to me being a part of her passion, then I think we can keep each other inspired.You have to check with the mandatory things, her parents accepting you and her family, and the red flags. But if all the standard stuff checks out, then I would have to make sure she aligns with my journey. That's how I would know."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"A good attitude about life. I have to have positive energy. It's a bonus if you're athletic. I like someone who likes to take care of themselves and who pays attention to health and fitness. And a talent. Talent in something, a chef, a singer, a dancer.It's not a requirement but it's definitely something that gets my attention. Talent in something, a chef, a singer, a dancer."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"I like to plan things so it would consist of me planning the day for her and things going exactly how I pictured it in my head while. As long as everything goes well and she's enjoying herself, that's all I care about. I don't necessarily care about me, I think it's the guy's job to pursue and put things in action for the person that we're with. Especially on a day like Valentine's Day."
Jason Shockness
Courtesy of Jason Shockness
Age: 27
Occupation: Software Engineering Student
Hobbies/Interests: Traveling, sports mainly basketball and football, and cooking
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
Relationship Status: Single
How he prefers to meet a woman...
"By chance, only because hopping into DMs usually doesn't lead to anything. When it's a genuine connection and you meet when you're just out and about, I think it's more likely to last. For me, at least."
What attracts him to a woman...
"Definitely her face. There are three things: her face, her body, and her personality. Sometimes you can tell if she's goofy especially on social media or in person."
What keeps him interested...
"Her personality. Something has to stand out about her to make me want to stay and learn more. What's interesting about you? What do you like to do? What are your go-to's? What do you do? You have to ask if you have kids nowadays too."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"When you get a certain vibe from that person and when you feel like you don't want to go out anymore and you just want to be with that person more often. Most of the time your friends will point it out too. That's probably the point when you feel like you want to be exclusive with that person."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"She must be determined, must be a go-getter for sure. She must be down to earth and she must have common sense. It's crazy I have to say that but it's real. A lot of people don't have common sense."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"It would probably be like a weekend vacation. Just the two of us, like if we leave Friday and come back on a Sunday, we just be excluded from the world."
Tripp Fontane
Courtesy of Tripp Fontane
Age: 29
Occupation: Poet & Educator
Hobbies/Interests: Reading and writing, shopping, and having conversation
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
Relationship Status: Single
What attracts him to a woman...
"On social media, it depends on the social network. On Twitter, it would be her thought process, that's really what I look for. Because I know most of it is used for vanity, I really need to see a little bit more than that. Out in public, I would probably say her air of confidence. How confident she is and if she walks with that and how she visibly carries it."
What keeps him interested...
"Her open-mindedness and her sense of humor. I think both are equal because when you have someone who is able to be objective and perspective, that gives you a lot of room to build and relate. And then sense of humor because, for me personally, humor is how I cope with trauma."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"When the level of consideration I have for her starts to go up. And that's a natural process, I think, and not so much of a 'a-ha moment.' When I start thinking of different ways to include her in my plans, that's when it's a bit more serious. When I start thinking of just me less and us more."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"Open-mindedness, a sense of humor, and effective communication."
His version of the best Valentine's Day date...
"First of all, we both have the day off. I'm huge on cooking, so I would cook breakfast to start the day off right. Probably chicken and French toast. Then we would spend the early morning thrifting, hit a couple bookstores, and then take a break around lunch--just because I don't believe in spending the whole day with each other. I'd send her to go get her nails done and her feet done. Then link back up early evening, have a nice beverage at a hole in the wall and hit dinner at her favorite spot. For dessert, probably a local bakery then we'd end the night getting as physical as she would like."
Ritz Williams
Courtesy of Ritz Williams
Age: 32
Occupation: Licensed Barber & Stylist
Hobbies/Interests: Finding good soul food places, spoken word poetry, and go-karting
Zodiac Sign: Gemini
Relationship Status: "I'm single officially, but depending on who's asking that's how that goes."
What attracts him to a woman...
"If she's smiling or not. I think that the most attractive thing about a woman to me is her smile. I like people with good energy. And you can tell alot about someone based off whether they're smiling or they're frowning. Or even if they want to be approached."
"I think the most attractive thing about a woman to me is her smile."
What keeps him interested...
"It would probably be who she's around. What are her friends doing around her, how is she acting? If her friends are being wild and crazy, is she being wild and crazy? And if she is, is that something I want to get to know more about? Or is she the shy one in the group? It depends on who she's around--not that I judge--but I base it off of where I see someone fitting into my life."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"The point where we get past exchanging phone numbers, I've already decided I'm going to pursue this person. I never really start at a casual place because I don't casually exchange my phone number with anybody. I don't casually invite people to my home, I don't casually go out on dates. I don't do anything casual, everything I do has intention. I don't date people just to have fun. And if I see someone that I like, then my intention is to get to know that person and put forth the effort. Now I've always been a one-woman, loyal person. So I'm not really into dating several people at once. So it's kind of easy for me, if I go out of my comfort zone to approach somebody, once things click and our energies match up--then I've already decided that I'm going to pursue this. And the moment she meets me at that level, that's when it's committed."
"I don't do anything casual, everything I do has intention. I don't date people just to have fun. And if I see someone that I like, then my intention is to get to know that person and put forth the effort."
His stance on courtship...
"I don't think it's dead, I think it's evolved though. It's evolved into having an open mind of what courtship means to someone else. Back in the day, courtship was: nice guy, or not-so-nice guy sees a girl, goes after her and does all these grand gestures. And he may or may not end up with her. But now it's like men and women both realize that their worth and their time is important. When it comes to courtship though, speaking for myself--I have no problem going after someone. But if I'm not met with the same energy or I feel like you don't see the same value in me as I see in you, then at that point I'm like, 'I don't want to do this.' But if you hold value in someone, then you should treat them like you do. That's a part of courtship for me, showing equal interests."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"Confidence, patience, and a sense of humor."
His idea of the best Valentine's Day date...
"It would definitely include go-karts, definitely include cheesecake, and I like soul food but my favorite food is lasagna. So a nice lasagna, a fine go-cart, laser tag or live music, followed by dessert at home and quality time with my girl would literally be perfect for me."
Norman Towns
Courtesy of Norman Towns
Age: 34
Occupation: Actor
Hobbies/Interests: Drawing and painting, playing basketball, and building house decor
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Relationship Status: Single
What attracts him to a woman...
"On social media, the only thing that would attract me would be what's on their stories. Their page is just something else but whatever they post on their stories, that gives you insight into who they are and what they like to do for fun. You can see more of their personality and how they move throughout the day. If I'm out, then it would be her eyes. I stare at someone's eyes, that tells me something."
What keeps him interested...
"Their interaction with me within our conversation. You can kind of tell within the dialogue if they're cool or even if y'all can be friends or have an in-depth conversation."
His stance on courtship...
"I don't think it's completely dead, but I think it's 80 years old and on its way out. We live in such a systemized world where it's so narcissistic, and people are really out for themselves. And as a result, a lot of people are doing things--not because they want to do it--but because they're trying to protect themselves from that hurt. We're so guarded. So I dont think it's all the way dead or even wrong. But the society that we live in and the accessibility that we have, we've lost that balance needed for courtship."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"I need a woman who has taken the time to love herself. A lot of times, men and women get into relationships to fill certain voids because we're not happy with who we are by ourselves.But if you don't love yourself, then it's almost impossible for you to love me. I also need someone that's a team player and who understands we're not competing with each other, we're completing each other. And lastly,she has to have a good spiritual foundation."
His idea of the best Valentine's Day date...
"I would go to a museum because it's fun to just talk and I wouldn't say we'll go to an expensive restaurant. But we'll go to a restaurant that she loves."
Andra Fuller
Courtesy of Andra Fuller
Age: "Grown"
Occupation: Entertainer, Actor, Producer, & Soon-To-Be Director
Hobbies/Interests: Traveling, football, & being active and outdoors
Zodiac Sign: "A lovely Gemini"
Relationship Status: "SINGLE single"
How he prefers to meet a woman...
"I'm definitely a more organic person. I would preferably like to meet someone in person. I also take into consideration the place in which you meet somebody, I factor in the environment as well. I wouldn't want to meet somebody at a club or at a certain type of event; but I would prefer to meet them out and about on a natural type of vibe."
What attracts him...
"Their perceived personality. You can't gauge somebody's personality if you never talk to them, but one thing that social media does allow you to do is get a pretty accurate representation of it. A pretty face and a nice body and a nice smile--all those things are good too. But what separates that pretty face from the next one?"
What keeps him interested...
"Our mutual-ness. I hate to be cliche but if the vibe is good, and we mesh well, and her interests seem to meet my interests--then that kind of gives you the green light to further pursue. Sometimes it doesn't always work but you know."
How he knows he's ready to commit...
"The tell-tale sign would be if you can see a future with that person. And you're willing to let things progress naturally to take things to the next level. Because let's be real, once you're past the age of 35, nobody's trying to play games. But that doesnt mean everything has to be so serious. And that's not just men or just women, that's universal across the board. If you let things progress organically then maybe you could start seeing some wife potential and some husband potential."
His stance on courtship...
"It's not dead and it shouldn't be dead. The unfortunate thing is, not a lot of men know how to court a woman. This generation just doesnt value it as much and a lot of people aren't up to par when it comes to courting in relationships."
His top three relationship must-haves...
"A sense of humor and fun because I'm a goofy person. Intelligence, I find that very sexy. And then she has to be loving. It's a good feeling to know that the person you're involved with has unconditional love for you and that's rare. I've experienced it before and it was beautiful."
Featured image via Andra Fuller
RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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Here's a roundup of holiday hair and glam ideas tailored for Black women, focusing on elegance, versatility, and creativity. Each style embraces natural textures, protective styling, and statement-making glam.
Holiday Hairstyle Ideas:
- Natural Hair: Embrace your natural curls, coils, and kinks with festive updos, twist-outs, braid-outs, or wash-and-go styles adorned with jeweled hair accessories, metallic headbands, or shimmering hair tinsel.
- Protective Styles: Opt for stylish and low-maintenance options like box braids, cornrows, Senegalese twists, faux locs, or crochet braids, incorporating festive elements like colored hair extensions, metallic cuffs, or decorative beads.
- Wigs & Weaves: Experiment with versatile and glamorous wigs and weaves in various textures, lengths, and colors, adding holiday flair with curls, waves, sleek styles, or statement-making hair accessories.
Holiday Glam Makeup Tips:
- Bold Lips: Make a statement with vibrant red, berry, or metallic lipstick shades that complement your skin tone and outfit.a
- Shimmering Eyes: Enhance your eyes with shimmering eyeshadows, metallic eyeliner, or glitter accents for a festive glow.
- Flawless Skin: Achieve a radiant complexion with a flawless foundation, subtle contouring, and a touch of highlighter.
- Statement Lashes: Accentuate your eyes with dramatic false lashes or a generous coat of mascara for added allure.
These suggestions are a starting point for your holiday hair and beauty journey. Feel free to personalize each look, experiment with different techniques, and express your unique style. The most important thing is to have fun and celebrate the magic that is you!
1. Stacked Bantu Knots
Raimonda Kulikauskiene/Getty Images
Hair:
- Bantu knots with loose, defined curls framing the face.
- Add gold or metallic hair cuffs for festive flair.
Glam:
- Glittery gold or copper eyeshadow.
- Bold red lip for a classic holiday vibe.
2. Sleek and Sophisticated
Ryan Destiny
Getty Images
Hair:
- Straight middle part or side part with layered waves and a high-gloss finish.
- Optional: Add crystal hair pins for extra sparkle.
Glam:
- Cat-eye liner paired with nude glossy lips.
- Soft bronzed cheeks for a warm glow.
3. Holiday Halo
Ciara
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
Hair:
- A textured halo braid with faux locs or braiding hair for volume.
- Decorate with small ornaments or pearls for a whimsical touch.
Glam:
- Smokey eye with silver shimmer accents.
- Dark berry lipstick for a bold statement.
4. Textured Top Knot
Ari Lennox
Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images
Hair:
- High knot with natural texture or extensions for volume.
- Wrap the base with a velvet ribbon or festive scarf.
Glam:
- Metallic lids in emerald or sapphire shades.
- Subtle highlighter on cheekbones and nose.
5. Hollywood Waves
Jodie Turner-Smith
Amy Sussman/Getty Images
Hair:
- Classic finger waves or soft, voluminous curls for a vintage look.
- Use clip-ins or bundles for added length and fullness.
Glam:
- Winged eyeliner with lashes for drama.
- Crimson lipstick for timeless elegance.
6. Braided Beauty
Rihanna
Samir Hussein/WireImage
Hair:
- Fulani-inspired braids with gold beads or strings.
- Finish with a low bun or leave braids flowing.
Glam:
- Shimmery eyeshadow in gold or bronze.
- Glossy lips with a hint of sparkle.
7. Afro Chic
AJ Odudu
JB Lacroix/WireImage
Hair:
- Fluffed-out afro with metallic accessories.
- Secure with a decorative headband.
Glam:
- Dewy skin with a subtle blush.
- A soft pink lip for contrast.
8. Retro Glam Ponytail
Tia Mowry
Anna Webber/Getty Images
Hair:
- Sleek, high ponytail with flipped ends or added curls.
- Wrap the ponytail base with rhinestones or silk.
Glam:
- Bold eyeliner with graphic shapes.
- Matte lips in a deep plum shade.
9. Goddess Locs
Meagan Good
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
Hair:
- Bohemian-inspired locs with curly ends.
- Add holiday sparkle with silver or gold accents.
Glam:
- Bronzed eye makeup with a glossy finish.
- Warm nude lipstick with overlined edges.
Hair:
- Stranded twists styled into an intricate updo or bun.
- Secure with jeweled pins or barrettes.
Glam:
- Rose gold eyeshadow with natural lashes.
- Soft mauve lipstick for a delicate finish.
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Featured image by Getty Images