Exclusive: Michael Ealy On Why You Should Live With Your Partner Before Marriage
Falling in love is easy, it's what comes after that makes it one of the most difficult things you'll ever do in your life. Taking the next step and marrying your partner is all fun and games until pesky habits that you may not have recognized before they become a part of your every day life.
Although it may not have bothered you in the past that your man always forgets to put the cap back on the toothpaste, seeing this ritual every day might just drive you to your breaking point, which is why star of the new feature film, The Intruder, Michael Ealy thinks if you're serious about spending the rest of your life with someone, you should take that theory on a test drive, first.
"Marriage is hard and living with somebody is cohabitation," he shared with xoNecole exclusively. "If you really want to try and make it last forever, you might want to do a little test run."
In his new psychological thriller, Michael Ealy stars alongside actress Meagan Good and the two play a couple who have made the decision to buy their very first house together. Little do they know, it comes with a pretty nostalgic, highly creepy houseguest who won't leave.
Needless to say, this couple has a lot more to worry about than a lost toothpaste cap, but the stars had some advice for couples who, like their characters, are looking to take the next step in their relationship. First off, make sure that you don't buy a house from a strange white man who wants to kill you; and second, try couples counseling. Michael stated:
"I always tell people to go to counseling before you get married. Go to counseling so you're not surprised by the person you ended up with later on down the line when you got kids."
MICHAEL EALY REVEALS THE HARD LESSON HE LEARNED IN HIS MARRIAGEyoutu.be
The actor also advised that a couple move in together before they get married. Although the idea of "shacking up" would probably make our great grandmothers cringe in their graves, it's a new world; one that doesn't shame or ridicule lovers for cohabitating. Michael said that living together for at least three months before making a commitment to get married is actually essential to ensure longevity in a relationship.
According to the 45-year-old husband and father of two, love doesn't always conquer all, especially if all includes some bad habits. "Love doesn't always conquer everything. I think there's certain habitual issues that can come up and you know, just kind of divide people over time," he revealed. "Let's be honest, in a relationship, there are certain issues that really irritate you about the person. And the question is, before you get married, can you handle that long-term? Because you can't expect them to change."
Dating for marriage is a dangerous sport, and to make it to the finish line, you need to have a strategy and be able to answer some tough questions. It may not be easy to talk about financial planning, having children, and how you prefer your toothpaste to be capped over your 2 for $20 at Applebee's, but couples counseling could be the perfect environment to better understand each other's belief systems without feeling pressured. Michael said that without having these tough conversations, you could likely end up in a contract to spend your life stuck with someone that you don't even like. "Talk about things like having children, and what are your expectations of me, and all of that stuff. Because the more you get out upfront, the less likely you are to be sucker-punched later."
The actor also explained that you and your partner should make a move to counseling sooner than later. Nothing is worse than feeling rushed in a relationship, especially when you have a deadline as significant as your wedding date. "If you feel like it's close, you know, look, let's have some frank conversations so that nobody has to step backwards."
The Intruder is in theaters this Friday (May 3) and you can check out our full interview with Michael Ealy and Meagan Good below!
THE INTRUDER - Official Trailer (HD)www.youtube.com
Featured image via Michael Ealy/Instagram
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images