

There are two types of teenage girls in this world: Girls who like to experiment with Ouija boards (as seen on TV and only TV) and then there are the ones who just want to know if they're compatible with their latest crush. (And possibly a third type who can resist the pull of the supernatural world, but that I wasn't and I never wanted it to be.)
Some choose religion. I choose Astrology and it has been my means of exercising blind faith for as long as I can remember. A good horoscope was like a good scripture for me, and now because I'm grown and not so interested in following anything blindly, I more accurately subscribe to occasional readings. I wouldn't say it's because I don't believe in God and the power of religion, but more so that astrology seemed more rational and intuitive, thus resonating most with me in every element of my life – including my relationships.
Most recently, I spoke with astrologist and sacred sex educator Gigi Robinson who built on the purpose of my chart, which was a fairly recent revelation for me. Here I found out that because I had so much Capricorn in my chart that I could find compatibility with this sign. Of course, the overthinker in me could never and will never be satisfied so I reached back out to Gigi after the Universe introduced me to a Capricorn. Several years ago, I would've overbearingly searched Google to confirm that this was my soulmate, but growth has allowed me to reduce the amount of time I spent Googling zodiac signs by a handful of hours and instead contact a reliable source with answers of reason.
In a world that grasps onto anything that can potentially answer the big questions about love, here's what you really need to know about astrological compatibility, how to better interpret it, and why we attract the signs we attract.
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Laws of Attraction Are at Work.
The biggest point of recognition that came from my discussion with Gigi, was acknowledging that not only is astrology thoroughly accurate, but it's so thorough that sometimes you won't necessarily be drawn to, attract, or even end up with the sign you're attracted to. This is because the Universe recognizes a greater need or lack that you've put in the world, subconsciously or otherwise. Gigi says, "Depending on where you are in your evolution of your chart – meaning whatever you came here for is going to determine what partners you draw in."
With that said, you may be attracting hella Aries meanwhile your charts are basically yelling for you to find a Capricorn, and it may never happen because you have something to learn from those Aries signs that can carry you, regardless of your relationship status. If this were to happen while you're still lacking, this may weaken the connection you have with your most compatible sign because you weren't ready for them or evolved enough.
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Real Recognizes Real...and Ready.
Although you may be most compatible with a sign, you will not be drawn to or a match for everyone that comes your way. Gigi wasted no time debunking the bullshit aspirations that we put onto our zodiac signs. "Let's just talk about astrology as it relates to self," she immediately says. She then goes on to add, "I think sometimes we want to use the chart for the relationship parts of it but we have to understand that the relationship to self is what's going to draw the relationship that you're really supposed to be in. That's what it's going to take, it's going to take you knowing the chart and understanding the chart because it's literally like your magnetism. It's like what we're drawing in."
"The relationship to self is what's going to draw the relationship that you're really supposed to be in."
As previously mentioned, the Universe will give you what you need before it gives you what you want...even when you don't want to believe that's what you need. Not every person who falls under the sign you're most compatible with will be evolved enough for you, and vice versa, or perhaps the inner workings of their natal chart and the degree to which they are true to their sun sign are not compatible with you. In fact, astrology will work to heal inter-generational trauma before making the match with the one.
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Gigi says many of us are carrying trauma and sometimes we know nothing of it because it's so ingrained in us. But what this means is that "a lot of the relationships that we're reflecting [and attracting] are here to clear the trauma, first." She lends an example of someone whose mother may have always attracted relationships that left her feeling insecure and unprotected, so now perhaps you have taken on that baggage and those feelings of insecurity, and your natal chart reflects your desire to feel protected and secure. You will continue to attract partners who meet that need, whatever sign they may be, until you're able to feel secure on your own or in a way that feels stable for the evolved zodiac match your chart says you're most compatible with because perhaps that person wants someone who comes into the relationship already feeling secure.
When you're attracting a lot of something, whether it be a sign or a negative quality you continue to find in partners, be real with yourself, dig deep, and figure out what it is that you're manifesting. It's not until you can do the work to be real with yourself, that you can ready yourself for whatever is in store for you and a partner who is equally real and ready with and for you.
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Unlearn Fairy Tales and Learn Your Chart.
According to Gigi, part of the problem is simply the way "we really believe in the fairy tale, we believe in this knight and shining armor." I shudder thinking of all the fairy tales I crossed my fingers waiting for my life to be like as Gigi points out how much we rely on fairy tales to dictate our scripts, hence our desire to simply seek out astrology when it concerns romance instead of asking about the whole picture. Gigi goes on to add, "We believe that we're going to ride off into the sunset, but the reality is that we're not all going to have that experience because we're not all here to have that experience."
The reality is that some may only be here to be mothers and others "may be here to help multiple [partners] elevate. So we may not be the person that's here to have a [monogamous relationship] for all of our lives because that's not a part of our natal chart experience."
However, Gigi insists that "the more you learn your natal chart, you start to learn 'what type of person am I in the first place? What am I really here to do?' versus looking at what society says every woman or man should have. That's not the truth and we see that in our everyday [life], because if [the fairy tale] is what we're all supposed to have, then why are we all struggling with having this thing that everybody is supposed to have? But that's not the truth. Your natal chart is there to show you what the truth is so that when those experiences start to happen to you, you can make better conscious emotional choices."
In knowing her chart, Gigi has gained a clear understanding of "how energy is presenting itself" to her and forcing her to do the work to "heal and deal with it." She says, "It makes me feel a way, so I have to deal with it. And that's why people show up! They show up to give us a really clear vision of what we're here to do and how to shift the things that we no longer want in our DNA because it's not just about us – it's about our mothers and our mother's mothers and our grandfathers and great grandfathers. We're working on things relationship-wise, that are not just in this existence. It's very multifaceted."
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On my own, I've learned so much about self-awareness and the overall self, but Gigi helped me better understand how to apply the deep reflection necessary to even have a sense of self-awareness to the findings in my chart and the observations I've made about my own history with different members of the zodiac. As I work towards personal growth and seek out a therapist, it was interesting how many times I've been hit with a "come to Jesus" type epiphany since speaking with her – and you know what? They were a lot cheaper than a therapist.
I've learned that the abundance of failed Aries relationships in my life is the Universe's way of teaching me how to create boundaries in my relationships.
And that Capricorn? Well, for the first time ever I didn't say what he wasn't enough of when the 24-7 texting got canceled. Instead, I realized that in all the growth I've seen in the past year, I still haven't reached a point where I was evolved enough for him. I've found peace in understanding that not everyone is here for a long time, but sometimes just to show you a good time and insight. Perhaps, the only thing he was sent into my life to do was to show me that my work is not done and maybe there's more but for now, I'm content as I tell you: He wasn't that one, but instead something more – he was a marker of my growth and continued development.
This Capricorn was not mine to keep and the Universe was clear on that. So, I'm listening.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Be Careful. Those Casual Friendships Can Be Red Flags Too.
A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to someone vent about an area of frustration that they couldn’t seem to get to the root of — why they keep getting taken advantage of by certain individuals. When you’ve been a life coach for as long as I have (and you were a journalist before that), you learn how to ask certain questions that can cause people to consider things that they may never have before.
So, when I asked her, “What is the common thread with all of those folks? And sit still for two minutes before answering,” when she finally heard her own self speak, her eyes got wide and her mouth dropped open: “They’re all people who I’m not really sure what they are in my life.”
Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
There’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
A couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
I’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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