What You Really Need To Know About Compatibility Based On Zodiac Signs
There are two types of teenage girls in this world: Girls who like to experiment with Ouija boards (as seen on TV and only TV) and then there are the ones who just want to know if they're compatible with their latest crush. (And possibly a third type who can resist the pull of the supernatural world, but that I wasn't and I never wanted it to be.)
Some choose religion. I choose astrology and it has been my means of exercising blind faith for as long as I can remember. A good horoscope was like a good scripture for me, and now because I'm grown and not so interested in following anything blindly, I more accurately subscribe to occasional readings. I wouldn't say it's because I don't believe in God and the power of religion, but more so that astrology seemed more rational and intuitive, thus resonating most with me in every element of my life – including my relationships.
Most recently, I spoke with astrologist and sacred sex educator Gigi Robinson who built on the purpose of my chart, which was a fairly recent revelation for me. Here I found out that because I had so much Capricorn in my chart that I could find compatibility with this sign. Of course, the overthinker in me could never and will never be satisfied so I reached back out to Gigi after the Universe introduced me to a Capricorn. Several years ago, I would've overbearingly searched Google to confirm that this was my soulmate, but growth has allowed me to reduce the amount of time I spent Googling zodiac signs by a handful of hours and instead contact a reliable source with answers of reason.
In a world that grasps onto anything that can potentially answer the big questions about love, here's what you really need to know about astrological compatibility, how to better interpret it, and why we attract the signs we attract.
Laws of Attraction Are at Work.
The biggest point of recognition that came from my discussion with Gigi, was acknowledging that not only is astrology thoroughly accurate, but it's so thorough that sometimes you won't necessarily be drawn to, attract, or even end up with the sign you're attracted to. This is because the Universe recognizes a greater need or lack that you've put in the world, subconsciously or otherwise. Gigi says, "Depending on where you are in your evolution of your chart – meaning whatever you came here for is going to determine what partners you draw in."
With that said, you may be attracting hella Aries meanwhile your charts are basically yelling for you to find a Capricorn, and it may never happen because you have something to learn from those Aries signs that can carry you, regardless of you all's relationship status. If this were to happen while you're still lacking, this may weaken the connection you have with your most compatible sign because you weren't ready for them or evolved enough.
Real Recognizes Real...and Ready.
Although you may be most compatible with a sign, you will not be drawn to or a match for every one that comes your way. Gigi wasted no time debunking the bullshit aspirations that we put onto our zodiac signs. "Let's just talk about astrology as it relates to self," she immediately says. She then goes on to add, "I think sometimes we want to use the chart for the relationship parts of it but we have to understand that the relationship to self is what's going to draw the relationship that you're really supposed to be in. That's what it's going to take, it's going to take you knowing the chart and understanding the chart because it's literally like your magnetism. It's like what we're drawing in."
"The relationship to self is what's going to draw the relationship that you're really supposed to be in."
As previously mentioned, the Universe will give you what you need before it gives you what you want...even when you don't want to believe that's what you need. Not every person who falls under the sign you're most compatible with will be evolved enough for you, vice versa, or perhaps the inner-workings of their natal chart and the degree to which they are true to their sun sign are not compatible with you. In fact, astrology will work to heal inter-generational trauma before making the match with the one.
Gigi says many of us are carrying trauma and sometimes we know nothing of it because it's so ingrained in us. But what this means is that "a lot of the relationships that we're reflecting [and attracting] are here to clear the trauma, first." She lends an example of someone whose mother may have always attracted relationships that left her feeling insecure and unprotected, so now perhaps you have taken on that baggage and those feelings of insecurity, and your natal chart reflects your desire to feel protected and secure. You will continue to attract partners who meet that need, whatever sign they may be, until you're able to feel secure on your own or in a way that feels stable for the evolved zodiac match your chart says you're most compatible with, because perhaps that person wants someone who comes into the relationship already feeling secure.
When you're attracting a lot of something, whether it be a sign or a negative quality you continue to find in partners, be real with yourself, dig deep, and figure out what it is that you're manifesting. It's not until you can do the work to be real with yourself, that you can ready yourself for whatever is in store for you and a partner who is equally real and ready with and for you.
Unlearn Fairy Tales and Learn Your Chart.
According to Gigi, part of the problem is simply the way "we really believe in the fairy tale, we believe in this knight and shining armor." I shudder thinking of all the fairy tales I crossed my fingers waiting for my life to be like as Gigi points out how much we rely on fairy tales to dictate our scripts, hence our desire to simply seek out astrology when it concerns romance instead of asking about the whole picture. Gigi goes on to add, "We believe that we're going to ride off into the sunset, but the reality is that we're not all going to have that experience because we're not all here to have that experience."
The reality is that some may only be here to be mothers and others "may be here to help multiple [partners] elevate. So we may not be the person that's here to have a [monogamous relationship] for all of our lives because that's not a part of our natal chart experience."
However, Gigi insists that "the more you learn your natal chart, you start to learn 'what type of person am I in the first place? What am I really here to do?' versus looking at what society says every woman or man should have. That's not the truth and we see that in our everyday [life], because if [the fairy tale] is what we're all supposed to have, then why are we all struggling with having this thing that everybody is supposed to have? But that's not the truth. Your natal chart is there to show you what the truth is so that when those experiences start to happen to you, you can make better conscious emotional choices."
In knowing her chart, Gigi has gained a clear understanding of "how energy is presenting itself" to her and forcing her to do the work to "heal and deal with it." She says, "It makes me feel a way, so I have to deal with it. And that's why people show up! They show up to give us a really clear vision of what we're here to do and how to shift the things that we no longer want in our DNA because it's not just about us – it's about our mothers and our mother's mothers and our grandfathers and great grandfathers. We're working on things relationship-wise, that are not just in this existence. It's very multifaceted."
On my own, I've learned so much about self-awareness and the overall self, but Gigi helped me better understand how to apply the deep reflection necessary to even have a sense of self-awareness to the findings in my chart and the observations I've made about my own history with different members of the zodiac. As I work towards personal growth and seek out a therapist, it was interesting how many times I've been hit with a "come to Jesus" type epiphany since speaking with her – and you know what? They were a lot cheaper than a therapist.
I've learned that the abundance of failed Aries relationships in my life are the Universe's way of teaching me how to create boundaries in my relationships.
And that Capricorn? Well, for the first time ever I didn't say what he wasn't enough of when the 24-7 texting got cancelled. Instead, I realized that in all the growth I've seen in the past year, I still haven't reached a point where I was evolved enough for him. I've found peace in understanding that not everyone is here for a long time, but sometimes just to show you a good time and insight. Perhaps, the only thing he was sent into my life to do was to show me that my work is not done and maybe there's more but for now I'm content as I tell you: He wasn't that one, but instead something more – he was a marker of my growth and continued development.
This Capricorn was not mine to keep and the Universe was clear on that. So, I'm listening.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Victoria Monét has had an incredible year. Thanks to the success of the widely popular “On My Mama” that went viral, the singer/ songwriter’s Jaguar II album debuted in the top 10 of Billboard’s Top R&B Albums chart. She also went on to headline her own sold-out tour. So, when the MTV VMAs happened in September, everyone was surprised to learn that Victoria’s team was told that it was “too early” for the “Smoke” artist to perform at the award show. However, a couple of months later, the mom of one received seven Grammy nominations, including “Best R&B Album” and “Record Of The Year.”
Victoria is currently in London and stopped by The Dotty Show on Apple Music and shared how she feels “validated” after being dismissed by the VMAs.
“It really does feel nice and validating because, in my head, the reason why I wanted to be a performer at the VMAs or award ceremonies like that is because I felt like I am at the place where I should. I would work really hard to put on the best show that I could, and I was excited to do so,” she said.
“And I guess the best way to describe it for me is like when you're like on a sports team, and the coach is like, ‘No, you gotta sit this one out.’ When they finally put you in, and then you score all these points, and it feels like that feeling. You're like, yes, I knew it wasn't tripping, but I knew I worked hard for this, and so it's been super validating to just have these accolades come after a moment like that, and I know the fans feel vindicated for me.
While her fans called the VMAs out on their decision, the “Moment” singer kept it cute and is still open to performing at the iconic award show. “I feel no ill towards them because it's just maybe that's just truly how they felt at the time, but I hope their mind has changed,” she admitted.
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Feature image by Amy Sussman/WireImage for Parkwood