This Is The Difference Between A Twin Flame & A Soulmate
In the spiritual community, many people have confused the concept of a twin flame with a soulmate. Because of the confusion between the two, some have fallen prey to detrimental belief systems that cause anxiety and teater along the lines of mental health issues. There is a clear distinction between the two that will help anyone on a journey to find either their twin flame or soulmate.
Twin flames are two people who share the same soul energy vibration. In simple terms, when any two flames were born, their soul was split into two bodies encompassing either the divine masculine or the divine feminine, aka yin and yang. This is an eternal connection that carries on through every single lifetime each flame incarnates into. Essentially, one twin flame is the other half of one soul.
A soulmate couple are two individual souls that have connected with each other through many lifetimes, in order to teach each other lessons and fulfill karmic debts. Soulmates usually feel like they have met before and play deep roles in each other's lives. A soulmate does not have to be romantic, rather you can have a sibling, friend, or parent be a soulmate in your life. Though twin flame pairs tend to be romantic, they could also be platonic.
Read on to learn more about both concepts and the many differences between the twin flame and the soulmate relationship.
The Difference Between Soulmates & Twin Flames
Twin Flames' Purpose Are Rooted In Humanity, Soulmates' Purpose Are Rooted In Each Other
When twin flames meet in person, this is a profound event because each twin would have had to undergo part of a major spiritual transformation where they remembered that they even had a twin flame, to begin with. Since the twin flame separation is essentially an illusion, due to the fact that twin flames are never separated in spirit, meeting your twin flame in the physical realm is a pretty big deal! It is so powerful that it sends a ripple through the universe. Once twin flames are reunited, they embark on a shared purpose to aid humanity in transformative ways, which includes raising collective consciousness. There are many stages that each twin must go through individually before divine timing reunites the two in the flesh.
Soulmates, on the other hand, manifest in each other's realities as a part of the "soul contracts" that each person agrees to through their higher selves. For instance, after some past life regression sessions, I found out that my biological sister and I are soulmates because we have been through many lifetimes together where we have had to rely on one another to survive. Her higher self and mine are paired together through an agreement to each other to fulfill karmic debt on an ultimate road to discover each of our purposes. The higher purpose of a Soulmate relationship is the growth and evolution of one's own consciousness.
Soulmate Relationships Can Have An Expiration Date, The Twin Flame Dynamic Withstands Time
Soulmate relationships can last a lifetime or just a few months. Depending on the contract between the two, your soulmate could only be in your life for you to uncover a karmic lesson. For instance, the first love of your life could be a soulmate. Even though you were high school sweethearts, and eventually went separate ways, that person was in your life to teach you lessons you never learned before. The same goes for a best girlfriend turned stranger. You both were connected so strongly for a period of time to teach each other valuable soul lessons. If you no longer talk or have a relationship, it's possible that your soul contract with that friend ended. Still, wherever you needed to grow was likely mirrored in that person.
A twin flame, no matter if they are together or not, will never be separated in spirit. There will always be an energetic cord that keeps them tied forever.
Not Everyone Has A Twin Flame, But We All Have Soulmates
Every soul incarnates on earth to fulfill a unique purpose. Some people incarnate having a twin flame. This does not make them better than those that do not have one. In fact, being a twin flame is no easy feat. It is often romanticized by people in the spiritual community who don't have a complete grasp of the twin flame dynamic.
Whether you are a twin flame, or have a soulmate, every human being has an opportunity to raise their consciousness. Someone with a twin flame has a counterpart that catalyzes the process of spiritual ascension. As a twin flame begins to awaken, the remembrance of the other half of their soul appears. Through the stages of twin flame reunion lie an intense and sometimes maddening emotional, mental, and energetic roller coaster. A twin flame must undergo a spiritual transformation to be in a healthy relationship. Soulmate relationships don't require the same experience to exist in a healthy bond. Think of the twin flame relationship as a profoundly amplified energetic connection.
How To Tell The Difference Between Whether You Are Connected To A Romantic Soulmate Or Twin Flame
Sometimes people get confused about whether they're in a twin flame or a soulmate relationship. In my opinion, being someone who has not met their twin flame yet in person, I believe that you just know. Still, it's good to be educated about how to decipher the difference.
*As a disclaimer, it is my responsibility to also say that just because you are in a separated Twin Flame Dynamic doesn't mean you should wait around for them to show up. Continue walking in your purpose, and if it is meant to happen in this lifetime, it will.
Check out a list below of the signs of being in a relationship by ForeverConcious.com:
Twin Flame Relationships:
Feel fated or "destined" in some way. The relationship does not need to be romantic, but there is often a connection felt on all levels.
There is a strong connection that feels constant and stable.
There are challenges but they are more about the "self" than the other.
The relationship almost forces you to respond with love as a way to survive together.
There can be a strong past life connection together and if highly advanced, it could feel as if it is both your last lifetime on earth.
Soulmate Relationships:
Feel fated or "destined" in some way.
There is a strong connection that may change or fluctuate in intensity.
The relationship brings about a strong life lesson or a change in your life path.
The relationship can uncover and release past pains, hurts, and traumas so healing can occur.
There can be a strong past life connection.
So now that you know more about the Twin Flame and Soulmate dynamics, are you ready to write your own open letter to your future partner, whomever they might be?
Featured image by Mikel Taboada/Getty Images
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Fontaine Felisha Foxworth is a writer and creative entrepreneur from Brooklyn New York. She is currently on the West Coast working on creating a TV Pilot called "Finding Fontaine", that details the nomadic journey of her life so far. Keep up with her shenanigans @famoustaine on IG.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images