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The Word 'Platonic' Is Sacred. Literally.
If there is one word that I have learned to value more and more, it's platonic. But before I get into some of the reasons why, I'm pretty sure I'm not alone when I say that, while growing up, I wasn't really taught to give the word much thought, respect or honor. When it came to my relationships with men, platonic is basically what I said when I didn't want anyone to have the impression that I was interested in someone in a romantic or even sexual kind of way. I would flippantly throw out, "Oh, we're just platonic" and keep it movin'.
But as I became more of a writer and I started to be more intentional about looking up the actual meaning of words (rather than going by how culture uses them. The word "monogamous" comes to mind; it doesn't mean exclusive, it means married to one person, preferably for a lifetime but people use it in dating scenarios all of the time), the more I came to accept that platonic is something that is very special. It's also a word that doesn't apply to a ton of people or situations either.
I'll give you an example of where I'm coming from. A few days ago, I checked out the trailer for the fifth season ofGrowing Up Hip Hop. We all know that reality television isn't the realest thing on the planet, but the ongoing roller coaster ride that is Angela Simmons and Romeo Miller does help to articulate a point that I am trying to make here. They've got history. There is a mutual attraction. But because they can never seem to get on the same page, at least for now, they are just friends. Or at least kinda-sorta friends. Still, I'm hoping that whenever someone asks them about their relationship, what they aren't saying is they are "just platonic". Why? Let's get into it (the word; not them).
Platonic Friendship Meaning
What a Platonic Relationship Is—and Isn’t
If someone were to ask you what platonic means, what would you say? I'm willing to bet a couple of bills that there is a particular word in the actual definition that you never thought would be there. Are you ready to see?
Platonic: purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex
OK, so when you're in a platonic relationship with someone, not only does it mean that there is no sensual desire at all, it also means that your relationship is purely spiritual. Did you catch that? If you are in a platonic relationship with someone, it has a spiritual component to it—a pure one, at that. Nice.
But before we explore that some more, let's hit on the lack of sensual desire a little bit.
While reading an article on platonic relationships, from what I've studied about the word, I must admit that I agree with the author when they said that a platonic relationship is 1) not a friends-with-benefits type of situation and 2) not unrequited love either. As far as unrequited love goes, what that means is, if you or your friend has feelings for each other, you are not in a "platonic relationship", simply because those feelings aren't being reciprocated. A platonic relationship consists of two people who are not romantically or sexually linked in any way. It also consists of two individuals who have no more-than-friends interest in each other whatsoever.
So now take a moment to think about who you are in a true platonic relationship with. Remember, this means that there are no "extras" going on. It also means that you aren't interested in them and they aren't interested in you. Chile, when I took out a moment to let all of that settle into my spirit, I was like, "I don't have nearly as many platonic relationships as I thought I did." Even my closest and, at this point longest male friend, had feelings for me at one point and is still on the, "I won't bring it up, but you can still get it" tip. Hmph. Perhaps this is the reason why a lot of people don't believe that men and women can be "just friends". Now that platonic has been unpacked, maybe what they are actually saying is men and women aren't able to be strictly platonic. And maybe, to a certain extent, they are correct. Because, think about it, how many men in your life are you friends with who don't have some sort of attraction to you (and/or vice versa)? How many are choosing to not take things to the next level, simply out of respect for the fact that you don't want to do so (also and/or vice versa)? Whoever those fellas are, they aren't really your platonic friends. Platonic friends don't think about these types of things because these types of feelings do not exist.
But remember, platonic isn't just about the physical (or lack thereof); it's also rooted in a very powerful word—spiritual. This word reminds us that it's not enough to be in a platonic relationship where there is no sexual activity or more-than-just-friends feelings. Platonic relationships are spiritual too. Purely spiritual, at that. And just what does that mean?
What Is a “Purely Spiritual” Relationship?
Something that's dope about being in a relationship that is purely spiritual is, not only does it speak to being connected to someone who touches your soul in a real and profound kind of way, it also speaks to someone who is "closely akin in interests, attitude, outlook, etc." When these two things are working hand in hand, it results in things like two individuals who—communicate easily with one another; affirm one another; enjoy each other's presence and company; contribute each other's influence to their growth and development, and are deeply committed to one another. In a solely spiritual relationship, there isn't a lot of pressure or tons of unrealistic expectations. Also, the bond is tight no matter what the distance is between both individuals. Spiritually-connected people are content simply talking or even sending love and light into the direction of the person they care about.
On the spiritual tip, the bond is so strong that physicality never really becomes a factor. Seeing each other is cool, but it's not super necessary; their spirits are in sync, so that's all that really matters at the end of the day. Plus, spiritual relationships benefit one another's spirit. It's the kind of soul connection that is truly incomparable.
OK, so keeping all of this in mind, who actually are your platonic friends? What guys are you close to and there's no sexual interest or energy (both ways) yet there is a profound spiritual connection (both ways)? Now do you see why I gave this article that title that I did? If you are in a relationship with someone, it's not romantic or sexual (nor do you desire for it to be) but it is very spiritual, it's not "just" or "only" platonic. It's one of the most sacred bonds that you have. It's something that you need to protect at all costs.
I'm gonna be real with myself, at this juncture in my life, I might have three platonic relationships. But now that I know this, I'm gonna hop off of here and show them some love. There's something very sweet and wonderful about platonic connections. I now know that more than ever. I hope you do too. Whoever yours are, give thanks, sis. Because truly, there is no such thing as "just platonic".
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Unpopular Opinion: Men And Women CAN Really Be "Just Friends"
This Is How To Apply Love Languages To Your Friendships
Jordin Sparks Thinks Not Allowing Your Man To Have Female Friends Is Toxic AF
According To Aristotle, We Need 'Utility', 'Pleasure' & 'Good' Friends
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Mariee Revere On Her History-Making Million-Dollar Sales And The Future Of MoonXCosmetics
If the name Mariee Revere sounds familiar, it's probably because you heard of her beauty and skincare brand, MoonXCosmetics, or you may have heard about her history-making achievement of making $1.8 million in less than eight minutes. But before starting her million-dollar brand, Mariee was just a teenager trying to cure her acne.
While she grew up in the skincare capital of the world, South Korea, Mariee didn't really experience breakouts until her senior year of high school. Like many people who get their first breakout, she didn't know what to do, and there weren't many products out there at that time. So she decided to experiment. What she didn't know was that what she came up with would ultimately be her ticket to success.
"When I graduated high school, I moved back to America, Georgia, and I ended up making, like, the oil, the Rose Galore oil, which is like the staple product of my brand. I don't know what made me make it, but I did, and it literally cleared my face up," she tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview.
"I end up selling it as a body oil first because, obviously, I'm 17, [and] don't have any background as an esthetician or anything like that. I just made a product that worked for me, but people bought it and was using it, and I reformulated it, and then it just stuck like with me."
While MoonXCosmetics is known for its facial products, it wants to expand to body care and home. It just released its new product, Moon-Gel body wash, and it's only up from there. As Mariee continues to grow the brand, it's more than likely that she will see more history-making moments. And so far she has.
Photo courtesy
When asked if she feels pressure to obtain more of those milestones, she says yes and no. "I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more," she says.
"I want to say more reach than more like fast-paced sales. I do want that. Obviously, every girl wants that, but I do want to have a better overall reach for my brand because I did take two years off so I was able to learn, [and] study a lot of different things. See how things have changed from 2020 to now."
"I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more."
Another part of expanding for any company is hiring people. Finding the right person to help you can be a hassle, especially for business owners who are used to doing all the work themselves. Mariee can relate to this, and she touched on this topic in her documentaryThe Million Dollar Story. She recommends having someone be your "right-hand man" who you trust to handle the ins and outs of the company.
"I could say, definitely get, like a right-hand man to help you within the process because that really was what helped me. I never had a job. I literally was 18 now, being like, you know, the boss of over 30+ employees at one point in time, and I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about no W-2s, no taxes, no clock in, clock out because all I [have] ever known was my brand," she explains.
"So I definitely partner with people who are very skewed and versed in those areas, and they helped me get through it. Even to this day, I still have my same person helping me with hiring, firing, [and] doing everything that I can right now because I'm still learning. But obviously people get jobs young, so they have way more experience than me, but still learning."
And though she is still learning, one thing she makes sure to stay on top of is being consistent. Consistency is what trips many people up when it comes to achieving goals, but Mariee says it's all about scheduling. Whether it's when to post on social media or email marketing, scheduling it out can make a world of difference. That same practice also works when planning out her future goals for the company.
"Right now, future goals would be to drop at least five more products before the end of the year. We always do outreach, where we do drives and all that, but definitely do way more this year, she says. "Then really dive into body [care], and then hopefully open up MoonXBody underneath MoonXCosmetics to let that branch out and be open and definitely get back consistent."
For more information, visit moonxco.com.
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