If there is one word that I have learned to value more and more, it's platonic. But before I get into some of the reasons why, I'm pretty sure I'm not alone when I say that, while growing up, I wasn't really taught to give the word much thought, respect or honor. When it came to my relationships with men, platonic is basically what I said when I didn't want anyone to have the impression that I was interested in someone in a romantic or even sexual kind of way. I would flippantly throw out, "Oh, we're just platonic" and keep it movin'.
But as I became more of a writer and I started to be more intentional about looking up the actual meaning of words (rather than going by how culture uses them. The word "monogamous" comes to mind; it doesn't mean exclusive, it means married to one person, preferably for a lifetime but people use it in dating scenarios all of the time), the more I came to accept that platonic is something that is very special. It's also a word that doesn't apply to a ton of people or situations either.
I'll give you an example of where I'm coming from. A few days ago, I checked out the trailer for the fifth season ofGrowing Up Hip Hop. We all know that reality television isn't the realest thing on the planet, but the ongoing roller coaster ride that is Angela Simmons and Romeo Miller does help to articulate a point that I am trying to make here. They've got history. There is a mutual attraction. But because they can never seem to get on the same page, at least for now, they are just friends. Or at least kinda-sorta friends. Still, I'm hoping that whenever someone asks them about their relationship, what they aren't saying is they are "just platonic". Why? Let's get into it (the word; not them).
Platonic Friendship Meaning
What a Platonic Relationship Is—and Isn’t
If someone were to ask you what platonic means, what would you say? I'm willing to bet a couple of bills that there is a particular word in the actual definition that you never thought would be there. Are you ready to see?
Platonic: purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex
OK, so when you're in a platonic relationship with someone, not only does it mean that there is no sensual desire at all, it also means that your relationship is purely spiritual. Did you catch that? If you are in a platonic relationship with someone, it has a spiritual component to it—a pure one, at that. Nice.
But before we explore that some more, let's hit on the lack of sensual desire a little bit.
While reading an article on platonic relationships, from what I've studied about the word, I must admit that I agree with the author when they said that a platonic relationship is 1) not a friends-with-benefits type of situation and 2) not unrequited love either. As far as unrequited love goes, what that means is, if you or your friend has feelings for each other, you are not in a "platonic relationship", simply because those feelings aren't being reciprocated. A platonic relationship consists of two people who are not romantically or sexually linked in any way. It also consists of two individuals who have no more-than-friends interest in each other whatsoever.
So now take a moment to think about who you are in a true platonic relationship with. Remember, this means that there are no "extras" going on. It also means that you aren't interested in them and they aren't interested in you. Chile, when I took out a moment to let all of that settle into my spirit, I was like, "I don't have nearly as many platonic relationships as I thought I did." Even my closest and, at this point longest male friend, had feelings for me at one point and is still on the, "I won't bring it up, but you can still get it" tip. Hmph. Perhaps this is the reason why a lot of people don't believe that men and women can be "just friends". Now that platonic has been unpacked, maybe what they are actually saying is men and women aren't able to be strictly platonic. And maybe, to a certain extent, they are correct. Because, think about it, how many men in your life are you friends with who don't have some sort of attraction to you (and/or vice versa)? How many are choosing to not take things to the next level, simply out of respect for the fact that you don't want to do so (also and/or vice versa)? Whoever those fellas are, they aren't really your platonic friends. Platonic friends don't think about these types of things because these types of feelings do not exist.
But remember, platonic isn't just about the physical (or lack thereof); it's also rooted in a very powerful word—spiritual. This word reminds us that it's not enough to be in a platonic relationship where there is no sexual activity or more-than-just-friends feelings. Platonic relationships are spiritual too. Purely spiritual, at that. And just what does that mean?
What Is a “Purely Spiritual” Relationship?
Something that's dope about being in a relationship that is purely spiritual is, not only does it speak to being connected to someone who touches your soul in a real and profound kind of way, it also speaks to someone who is "closely akin in interests, attitude, outlook, etc." When these two things are working hand in hand, it results in things like two individuals who—communicate easily with one another; affirm one another; enjoy each other's presence and company; contribute each other's influence to their growth and development, and are deeply committed to one another. In a solely spiritual relationship, there isn't a lot of pressure or tons of unrealistic expectations. Also, the bond is tight no matter what the distance is between both individuals. Spiritually-connected people are content simply talking or even sending love and light into the direction of the person they care about.
On the spiritual tip, the bond is so strong that physicality never really becomes a factor. Seeing each other is cool, but it's not super necessary; their spirits are in sync, so that's all that really matters at the end of the day. Plus, spiritual relationships benefit one another's spirit. It's the kind of soul connection that is truly incomparable.
OK, so keeping all of this in mind, who actually are your platonic friends? What guys are you close to and there's no sexual interest or energy (both ways) yet there is a profound spiritual connection (both ways)? Now do you see why I gave this article that title that I did? If you are in a relationship with someone, it's not romantic or sexual (nor do you desire for it to be) but it is very spiritual, it's not "just" or "only" platonic. It's one of the most sacred bonds that you have. It's something that you need to protect at all costs.
I'm gonna be real with myself, at this juncture in my life, I might have three platonic relationships. But now that I know this, I'm gonna hop off of here and show them some love. There's something very sweet and wonderful about platonic connections. I now know that more than ever. I hope you do too. Whoever yours are, give thanks, sis. Because truly, there is no such thing as "just platonic".
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Unpopular Opinion: Men And Women CAN Really Be "Just Friends"
This Is How To Apply Love Languages To Your Friendships
Jordin Sparks Thinks Not Allowing Your Man To Have Female Friends Is Toxic AF
According To Aristotle, We Need 'Utility', 'Pleasure' & 'Good' Friends
Feature image by Shutterstock
Did you know that xoNecole has a podcast? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to join us for weekly convos over cocktails (without the early morning hangover.)
- Platonic and Familial Love - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love ... ›
- You Like Him But He Wants To Be Friends - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- Embrace What Platonic Love with the Opposite Sex Brings to the Table ›
- Unpopular Opinion: Men And Women CAN Really Be "Just Friends" - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- He Just Wants To Be Friends, I Want More - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- What Does It Mean To Be A Romantic? - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Opposite Sex Friendships: Is It Really Platonic? - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, & Wellness ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Ananda Lewis Clarifies Why She Didn't Get A Mastectomy & Says She's Doing 'Better' After Stage IV Breast Cancer Diagnosis
Former MTV VJ Ananda Lewis received a lot of backlash from online critics after sharing she decided to forgo a double mastectomy. But there's more to the story.
Ananda was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer in 2019, and during a recent round table discussion with CNN's Stephanie Elam and Sara Sidner, she revealed that she decided not to get a double mastectomy and, now, she has stage IV cancer.
Following that interview, she clarified why she did not get the surgery. “The circumstances were not conducive to surgery because my tumor wasn’t aggressively growing at the time, and then COVID hit,” Ananda told The Epoch Times.
She opted for a cryoablation treatment instead, which uses extreme cold to destroy the cancer cells.
Another thing the 51-year-old wanted to clarify was whether she was dying. She said she is not. “Nothing happened. Today, I am fantastic. I may have felt like I was dying in February, but I’m not dying, and I’m definitely doing better than I was last October,” she said.
She is focused on taking care of herself and getting a "good 20 more years out of this body." She follows a keto diet and avoids alcohol, white flour and white sugar.
During the CNN roundtable discussion, the mother of one shared that she had an integrative approach to her treatment, which included traditional medicine and homeopathy methods such as red light therapy.
“My plan at first was to get out excessive toxins in my body. I felt like my body is intelligent, I know that to be true. Our bodies are brilliantly made,” she said.
“I decided to keep my tumor and try to work it out of my body a different way,” she continued. “Looking back on that, I go, ‘You know what? Maybe I should have.’
Ananda also admitted that she wasn't prioritizing early detection, such as getting mammograms. The former talk show host's mom also had breast cancer and chose to go the conventional route, which influenced her to go a non-traditional route.
As a content creator, Ananda uses her social media to inform others on the things she's learned about obtaining good health such as toxic items to through out of your pantry and the many benefits of water.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Paul Archuleta/Getty Images