

Lord. If this wasn't, once upon a time, the story of my life, I honestly don't know what is. I'll start with this sordid lil' tale. My last pregnancy was with a guy who I was besties with. Although initially, I didn't have feelings for him, once they started to grow, I accepted that they weren't going anywhere. So, I told him what's up. After I did, I remember him saying to me, "I'm in love with you, and I don't want to be." Sis, if a man tells you something even remotely similar to this—RUN! The only thing worse than not having your feelings reciprocated is sharing feelings with someone who is fighting them, and you, at every turn. Trust me.
My last relationship was with someone I was also close friends with. He loved me so much that I tried to convince myself that I felt the same way. All it ended up doing was wasting a lot of time and ultimately ending our friendship. So yeah, to me, these two examples alone are enough of a reason to explore the topic of what any woman should do if she has strong feelings for a friend while her friend loves her too—just differently.
If this is the exact state that you are currently in, although finding a balance to it all can be a little tricky, it's my hope that the bumps and bruises that I encountered from my own experiences with help you to deal with your own; that way, you can process your emotions in a healthy way so that your friendship can remain intact. Why? Because, if he's a true friend, while he may not be reciprocating the kind of love that you wish to receive from him, it would be a shame to sabotage the love—even if it's only platonic love—that the two of you already share.
1.Ask Yourself: “Have I Always Had Feelings for Him?”
Personally, I'm not the individual who thinks that it's impossible for men and women to be "just friends". But what I do know is a lot of people will go into opposite-sex dynamics as a form of settling. What I mean by that is Person A will know, straight out of the gate, that they want more than a platonic situation, but since Person B isn't giving off that same kind of vibe, Person A will push their feelings aside thinking that something is better than nothing. Or that the person will change their mind over time.
There are a few problems with this type of strategy. One, it's never healthy or productive to deny your own feelings. Two, to go into a friendship like that is operating from a place of dishonesty—both to you as well as to him. And three, there's a pretty good chance that as you grow closer to him, the feelings will only get stronger and will eventually come to the surface. And the thing is, him not feeling the same way as you do won't be his fault, even if you're tempted to think so. He didn't have all of the puzzle pieces to begin with. Now that he does, it could change the entire picture overall.
So yeah, if you're into a friend who isn't into you "like that", go all the way back to the beginning. Have things been a little "off", on the "keepin' it 100" tip, since day one? As far as your feelings are concerned, were things ever strictly platonic?
2.Figure Out What YOU Want
Again, as someone who owns a few T-shirts in this department, what I think is probably the trickiest thing about having feelings for a friend is trying to find the balance between preserving the friendship without putting your own needs on the backburner. That said, once you are able to answer the question that I just posed, it's time to decide what you want.
This point is two-fold. First, what do you want, in general and then, what do you want with/from him? Just so that there's no confusion, let me break this point down even more. Is a part of the reason why you're so into your friend is because you're sick of being single and you think he is a viable candidate? Or is it that you were just fine with your life until you realized that you wanted him to play a deeper role in it?
I promise you, the answer to what I just posed will help to bring clarity. I say that because if it's more about being ready for a relationship and he's not interested, it just sets you up to focus your attention elsewhere. But if who you desire is him and him alone, I'll be honest—you'll get through your emotions with time, but there will be a few bumps in the road along the way. Mostly because you'll have to figure out how to maintain a friendship with someone you want more from. And just how do you do that?
3.Keep “Outside Voices” to a Minimum
First, you're probably going to be tempted to call every girlfriend and guy friend that you have to get their perspectives. It's understandable that you would want to do that, but from the very bottom of my heart, please don't (one or two is fine; but not the masses). Having feelings for a friend is already "layered enough" without you throwing more opinions into the mix. Not only that but, based on what each person thinks about him and your friendship with him, that could either bring you up really high or take you down really low.
Besides, we typically look for advice either to get someone to co-sign on what we think (that's another message for another time) or because we don't know what to do. And when it comes to this particular kind of situation, I can already recommend how you should handle it. You need to tell him.
If the two of you are for-real-for-real friends, you're not going to be able to hide how you feel forever. And why should you want to? The two of you are close enough that you can—and should—be totally transparent. Anything less than that is living a lie.
4.Fess Up—Tell Him What’s Up
Straight up, this is the hardest part. Well, actually I take that back. It might be. It all depends on how close the two of you are and the kind of character that he has. If he's a good man by nature—and hopefully he should be; otherwise, why are you even friends with him?—being straight up with him about your feelings may catch him off guard, but if he truly cares about you, he will be gentle with your heart; even if the feelings can't be reciprocated.
Just make sure that you do it face-to-face (body language speaks volumes) and that you are as candid as possible. Then listen, really listen, to what he has to say. While it may not be what you want to hear, he may drop some gems that can be helpful in ways that you never would've predicted. After all, he is your friend. Friends have a tendency to do that.
5.Don’t Penalize Him for Feeling Differently Than You Do
Some of us bring a lot of ego into our love for other people. What I mean by that is, just because we may feel a certain way for someone, that doesn't mean that they owe us reciprocation. It also doesn't mean that they are stupid for not feeling the same way or they are somehow blind to how good we are. More times than not, it simply means that they don't feel the same way. Over and out.
And here's the thing. Although the reality of that may sting a bit, if he is really and truly your friend, don't you want him to be with someone who he desires to be with? Don't you want him to be happy? Deeper than that, if you are your own friend, don't you want to be with someone who is just as excited about the idea of being with you as you are about being with them?
Your friend is in your life for a reason; that is clear. But if it's for no other reason than friendship, you're human. Grieve that for a season. Just try and not be so "in your feelings" (or ego) that you end up sabotaging the friendship—all because you wanted it to be more than that.
6.Know That This Is a Different Kind of “Rejection”
A wise person once said, "Never chase anyone. A person who appreciates you will walk with you." When you have feelings for someone who didn't start off as being a close friend, sometimes the best way to get over them is to move on. But please don't do this with a true friend. Even if he has no intentions of romantically walking by your side, to some extent, he has been doing it the entire time, right? And if he's being just as honest with you as you are with him, he's "rejection" is opening up the way for the one you're supposed to be with to come into your life.
Look at it this way—just by the two of you being friends with one another, he sees the good. Don't punish him for valuing you differently by distancing yourself from him and the friendship. Good friends are hard to come by. The longer you live on this planet, the realer that statement becomes.
7.Preserve the Friendship
There's a guy in my life who, I have such a unique connection with, that he wrote an entire song about it. It's basically talking about how it's hard to define exactly what we've got going on between us. I agree. In fact, what I typically tell people is, "If he doesn't end up being the father of my child, he'll be the godfather." In a weird yet very relevant way, I totally find comfort in that.
That said, my disclaimer before bringing this article to an end is that I definitely don't want you to take this out of context and/or negate everything that I just shared with you. But any spouse (who is in a healthy marriage), relationship counselor or coach will tell you that the best marriages have friendship as the foundation. When it comes to two of my friends, although they were besties for years, the now-husband wasn't feeling the wife while she was secretly carrying a torch for him for over a decade. The combination of timing and personal evolution resulted in him ultimately seeing her in a different light. They've got 18 years of marriage underneath their belt now.
Again, the moral to this little story is not that you should put your life on hold while hoping that your friend will "get it together". Actually, what I'm trying to convey is basically the Arabic proverb that says, "What is destined will reach you, even if it is underneath two mountains. What is not destined will not reach you, even if it is between your two lips."
You feel what you feel. Don't force yourself to stop. Just know that fires that aren't stoked tend to fade out on their own. In the meantime, nurture what the two of you do have—your friendship. If it's the foundation for more, as DeBarge used to sing, "Time Will Reveal". If he's ultimately supposed to be the best man (on your side) at your wedding instead of the groom—well, that means there was someone better out here for you. That's cool too; you'll have your close male friend and your life partner. Both in your life, loving you, in their own special way.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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It’s officially Miss Keri, Baby season again—and if you ask us, it’s been a long time coming. After 15 years away from the music scene, Keri Hilson has returned not only with a brand-new album, but also a captivating new role in Lifetime’s Fame—the latest installment in The Temptations film franchise.
Between the album We Need to Talk: Love and her leading role in Fame, this isn’t just a comeback—it’s a rebirth. The Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter turned actress is letting us into her world like never before, unpacking themes of vulnerability, healing, and inner strength with grace, grit, and raw artistry.
Now streaming on Lifetime, Fame follows two superstar sisters—played by Keri and singer/actress Keshia Chanté—as they navigate the cost of stardom, sibling rivalry, and the dark side of desire. The film also stars Romeo Miller, Ecstasia Sanders, Nathan Witte, and Sophie Carriere, and is executive produced by Derrick Williams and Adriane Hopper Williams of the Seven Deadly Sins franchise.
As for the music? We Need to Talk: Love is a three-part album (Love, Drama, Redemption) that tells the story of a woman who’s been through it—and has risen from the ashes. “It was time to speak for myself,” Keri says.
We sat down with Keri to talk about her return to music, her passion for acting, the emotional depth of Fame, and how she’s learning to care for herself amidst the chaos.
From R&B Queen to Drama Star: Keri Gets Into Character
“Even though she’s famous—as am I—it was really her humanity that I wanted to portray.”
Keri plays Cherish, one half of a superstar sibling duo who must confront their fractured relationship in the wake of a traumatic robbery. For Keri, the role was more than a character—it was a psychological study.
“I enjoy departures from reality. That’s why I love acting,” she shares. “Psychology is one of my favorite things in life. I became a writer because I’m an observer of human nature, emotion, and behavior. I think I did a good job showing her humanity.”
The Fame Isn’t Always Worth the Price
“Keep the main thing the main thing.”
Keri doesn’t sugarcoat the industry. When asked about what Fame reveals about the dark side of celebrity culture, her answer is clear:
“It’s a cautionary tale. It reminds you to keep your family close and not allow anything to come between them—especially in pursuit of success. Keep the main thing the main thing. For me, that’s family, love, spirituality, and values.”
Three Chapters, One Story: Love. Drama. Redemption.
“I’ve shed the fear. It was time to tell my own story.”
Released April 18th, We Need to Talk: Love is Keri’s first album in 15 years—and a deeply personal one at that. The three-part project (Love, Drama, Redemption) represents a timeline of healing and growth.
“I’m finally in a place where I’m able and willing to open up more,” she says. “For a while, I became really guarded—shell-shocked, even—after making mistakes in the public eye. Whether it’s all your fault or not, the scrutiny takes its toll. But now, I’ve shed that fear. It’s time to tell my story.”
Cooking, Walks, and Recalibrating in the Chaos
“I’m not doing the best job—but I’m doing what I can.”
Between eight-hour rehearsals, press runs, and music releases, Hilson admits she hasn’t quite figured out the balance yet—but she’s trying. For her, the key is carving out small rituals of normalcy.
“I enjoy cooking. That’s my sanctity,” she says. “I’ll go home, take my makeup off, put on my rehearsal clothes, and cook a meal. I take walks. I run. These little things help me feel like myself again.”
Art Imitates Life (and Album Tracklists)
“Cherish goes from Love… to Drama… to Redemption.”
Asked which album chapter her Fame character would fall into, Keri doesn’t hesitate. “She fits into all three,” she says. “You see her go from love, to drama, to redemption. That arc mirrors the journey of so many women who’ve had to navigate pain and find their way back to themselves.”
No Pressure, Just Art: Keri Wants You to Feel Something
“Just enjoy the art. That’s it.”
After all the time, patience, and healing, Keri isn’t asking for much. She just wants fans to press play—and feel something.
“I just want people to enjoy what they’re seeing and hearing. Enjoy me on screen. Enjoy me through their ears. People have waited, and I feel blessed by that. That helps me keep it all pure and simple.”
As Keri Hilson steps boldly back into the spotlight, it’s clear this era is all about alignment, artistry, and authenticity. With Fame airing on Lifetime and the first chapter of We Need to Talk: Love setting the tone, we’re more than excited to see what’s next.
As she continues to unfold the album’s next two chapters—Drama and Redemption—one thing’s for sure: this isn’t just a comeback. It’s a reintroduction. And we’ll be watching, listening, and cheering her on every step of the way.
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