The season of love is here, and when we think about true, unconditional love, one thing comes to mind: our girlfriends. Through breakups, life transitions, and every milestone in between, our homegirls have a way of showing up like no other. When we think about the friends that make our lives sweeter, we can’t help but get butterflies. They make us laugh, they’ve seen us cry, and most of all, they remind us that romantic love isn’t the only valuable form of care there is.
With Galentine's Day soon approaching, what better way to commemorate the bonds that brighten up our lives than to show love to the women in our circle? To our chosen sisters everywhere, we’re helping to make the day a little sweeter by providing a few gal-pal-approved date ideas to show our appreciation for the women who bring joy and understanding and make life richer.
Siri, play “Best Friend” by Brandy.
Pasta and Wine Night
It’s time to bring your culinary skills to the table. For the girls who are looking to host an intimate dinner party from the comfort of their home, a pasta and wine night just might be the plan for you. No matter the level of your cooking expertise, pasta is a no-brainer cuisine that’s going to hit every time. Grab your favorite pasta sauce, pick up the fanciest wine on the shelf, and drizzle over some extra olive oil, and your girlfriends will be in awe of your cheffing skills.
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DIY Matching Charm Necklaces
If you’ve been anywhere on TikTok these days, charm necklaces are the latest hot, nostalgic accessory that the girls can’t get enough of. This trendy statement piece has become a crafty DIY project that makes jewelry-making that much more meaningful. Go for a personalized charms arrangement that you can create as your own personal treasure or lock in a matching piece so you and your bestie can twin together.
Host a Floral Arrangement Party
Flowers are truly a girl's best friend. And there’s just something about putting your hands to work to create the perfect arrangement of lilies, hydrangeas, daisies, and roses. The art of crafting flowers in a thoughtfully arranged manner holds a universal language for expressing love, and if your friends are anything like you, they definitely deserve to be given their flowers. Go to Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, or your local flower market and gather a few different flower styles for you and your friends to get crafty and share in the beauty of your blooms together.
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Get Permanent Friendship Bracelets
Friendship bracelets have gotten a whole new upgrade with permanent bracelets. These permanent jewelry pieces are the perfect, low-stake representation of long-term commitment without the pain or pressure of regular tattoos. You and your bestie can seal the deal on your friendship with the permanent reminder of your love and commitment to one another. Plus, we can’t get over how cute they are.
Cocktail and Mocktail Drink-Off
We all know that a good time with the girls is not complete without the right libations. And if you’re looking to host a party of more than four of your favorite ladies, they can bring their personalities and flavors to life by whipping up their very own cocktails or mocktails. No matter if you’re a lemon drop kind of girl or a margarita lover, give your friends the task of concocting their own drink recipes and bringing them to the party. Bonus points for the competitive type: vote on whose drink was the tastiest.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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