It's day 392 of quarantine and by now, I'm sure that all of your go-to recipes have been gone to one too many times but the increased amount of free time we've been spending at home makes now the perfect time to step out of your culinary comfort zone and Wolfgang Puck it up in the comfort of your own kitchen. Luckily, xoNecole has the details on three unconventional recipes that will help you do exactly that and level up your cooking skills in the process.
@prettyhonore for xoNecole
Using products from Black-owned, vegan jam company, Trade Jam St. Co, I tested three unique recipes that you'll want to add to your weekly menu expeditiously. The company, which was founded by Brooklyn-based mom-to-be, Ashley Marie Rouse, offers low-sugar jams that are versatile AF and guarantee to make your breakfast, lunch, and dinnertime routine so much sweeter.
From Chipotle Bourbon Glazed Brisket and Maple Glazed Pork Chops to Smoked Peach Cobbler and fruit-infused cocktails, there's nothing this jam can't do and I had the opportunity to test three of these recipes out personally.
@prettyhonore for xoNecole
For breakfast, I used the company's Blueberry Lemon Basil and Smoked Yellow Peach jams to make fruit-at-the-bottom yogurt cups that would give Yoplait a run for its money. For lunch, I cooked sweet and savory meatballs using their Cranberry Raspberry Sage Jam. And for dinner, Trade St Jam Co.'s Blackberry Mulled Merlot Jam was the star of a plate of restaurant-worthy steak tacos.
While I've always been more of a jelly person, myself, this Black-owned business has transformed me into a lifetime lover of jams and one bite of these dishes will have you hooked, too. Scroll below for the recipes!
Breakfast: Fruit-On-The-Bottom Yogurt Cups
@prettyhonore for xoNecole
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup Blueberry Lemon Basil Jam & Smoked Yellow Peach Jam
- 2 cups Greek Gods Honey and Strawberry Greek Yogurt
- Fruit, diced
- Granola, coconut chips, hibiscus flowers, chia seeds, walnuts
Instructions
- Divide jam evenly at the bottom of a mason jar or cup.
- Cut and add fruit.
- Spoon in yogurt to fill jar and garnish with your favorite toppings.
Lunch: Cranberry Sage Meatballs
@prettyhonore for xoNecole
Ingredients
- 1 pack Aidells Caramelized Onion Meatballs
- 2 tbsp. olive oil
- 1/4 c. shallots, minced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 3/4 jar Cranberry Raspberry Sage Jam
- 1/2 c. brown sugar
- 1/2 c. water
- 2 tbsp. Dijon mustard
- 2 tbsp. fresh sage
Instructions
- Heat oil over medium heat in a sauté pan. Add shallots and garlic and cook 2-3 minutes.
- Add jam, sugar, water, mustard, and 1 tbsp. sage and simmer 4-5 minutes over med-low heat.
- Add meatballs and continue to cook over low heat for an additional 10 minutes. If sauce gets too thick, add a touch of water.
- Remove from heat and garnish with remaining sage.
- Serve over rice or pasta.
Dinner: Skirt Steak Tacos Wit Blackberry Pear Slaw
@prettyhonore for xoNecole
Ingredients
- 1 lb. skirt steak
- 2 tbsp. olive oil
- Kosher salt, to taste
- Sea salt, to garnish
- Freshly cracked black pepper, to taste
- 1/2 jar Blackberry Mulled Merlot Jam
- Blue cheese, crumbled, to garnish
- 8 corn tortillas
Dressing
- 1/4 cup red wine
- 1 lime, juiced
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 1 teaspoon sugar
- 1 tablespoon chopped chives
Slaw
- 1 1/2 cup red cabbage, shredded
- 1 cup radicchio, shredded
- 1 pint blackberries, halved
- 1 bartlett pear, cut into matchsticks
- 1/4 ea. red onion, thinly sliced
Instructions
- Heat a cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat. Season steak with salt and pepper on both sides. Lay steak in hot skillet and sear on each side for 3-4 minutes (for medium-rare). Remove steak from heat. Generously brush the top of steak with jam and let rest.
- While steak is resting, warm tortillas in a dry skillet. Wrap tortillas in foil to keep warm.
- Whisk together dressing ingredients and set aside. Mix slaw ingredients together and toss with dressing.
- Thinly slice steak against the grain. Divide slaw evenly among tortillas, top with sliced steak and sprinkle a bit of sea salt directly on meat. Add blue cheese crumbles, garnish with chives and drizzle with remaining jam.
To shop Trade St. Jam Co. and try these recipes out for yourself, click here!
- Jam recipes | BBC Good Food ›
- Jams and Jellies Recipes - Allrecipes.com ›
- How To Make Basic Fruit Jam Without Pectin | Kitchn ›
- Strawberry Jam Recipe - Allrecipes.com ›
- 36 Fruit Jam Recipes That Go Way Beyond Toast | Bon Appétit ›
- Basic Jam Recipe | Martha Stewart ›
- 24 Recipes to Make With Jams and Jellies - Brit + Co ›
- 10 Unexpected Things to Make with Jam : Food Network | Recipes ... ›
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
____
I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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