
If Elliott Clark were to describe his ideal woman in cocktail terms, he'd tell you he likes them classic with a twist. Maybe an old-fashioned with muddled sour cherries or honey syrup with a dash of grapefruit bitters. Something different and surprising even—but still solid at their core.
"They'd have those classic foundation values to them that I perceive would be really important for a sustainable relationship and building a life with somebody," he says. "You know, that love and respect and forgiveness and trust. But on top of that, they have that uniqueness to them. Whether they're outgoing or more extroverted, or a little more adventurous, like that thing you can't find anywhere else."
It's safe to say that the Apartment Bartender knows what he likes, and knows just the right combination of ingredients to give you what you want—ironic considering this self-made liquor connoisseur just started mixing drinks two years ago.
What began as a hobby has turned into a budding lifestyle brand that's landed him partnerships with Express and on Buzzfeed's radar as an "Instagram Account to Follow." But accolades aside, it's the obvious love of his craft (and okay maybe a little eye candy too) that has us sipping on whatever carefully crafted boozy blend this mixologist serves.
After attending a Cocktails 101 class with a friend, Clark began snapping photos of his creations and posting them on Instagram, not imagining that there was a community of booze enthusiasts looking for creative cocktails.
"Apartment Bartender happened by complete accident," he says. "At the time when I started it I was kind of lacking a creative outlet in my life. I never set out like I'm going to turn this into a blog or I'm going to turn this into a social media platform and gain "x" amount of followers and it's going to be a full-time job. I never even envisioned that was possible."
Working on Apartment Bartender opened up the door to other passions, including photography and entrepreneurship, and it's also allowed him to use his gift to give back to others. In his spare time Clark works with Kids in Focus—an organization that pairs children from underprivileged backgrounds with professional photographers to help teach them to see themselves and their world in a new way.
"I don't think the world needs another cocktail or drink blog. If that's all that I am, I would consider that to be superficial."
"At the core of me I really believe in serving others, and I really consider myself as a person that would want to put others first before myself and find ways to lift others up. I think ultimately [Apartment Bartender] leads to the opportunity to make an impact in people's lives, and I think that's really what I seek to do because to be honest, I don't think the world needs another cocktail or drink blog; if that's all that I am, I would consider that to be superficial. So even though Apartment Bartender is that, that's why I love to utilize my platform in captions and anything that I can do."
He also credits his own entrepreneurial journey to inspiring and creating opportunities for friends. "I perceive that to be really cool, to see some of my best friends and people closest to me be able to experience other aspects of themselves and pick up new skills that they didn't think they were capable of because of some of the opportunities that I've opened up with what I'm doing."
But the journey hasn't come without its share of sacrifices. First, there was the fear of taking a risk and quitting his job as a software salesperson making six figures, just a year after launching Apartment Bartender for a career where the income was uncertain.
"When I make certain decisions I'm kind of fast-forwarding down the road and thinking will I regret the decision not to pursue it? So in the case of Apartment Bartender, that's ultimately what led me to do it, but I think my biggest fear was I'm making the wrong decision or taking a wrong step because my job looked good on the surface."
Clark doesn't consider himself to be a visionary, but he does believe in following your gut, and trusting that it will lead you where you want to go.
"I'm glad I did because that happiness and contentment that I feel, I never thought I'd be doing this. This is such a unique job and unique career for me that I don't think there'd be anything else that I'd rather be doing. And that's really fulfilling to be young and where I'm at, and doing something that I can wake up every morning and be like I can't wait to get to the office, I can't wait to work, I can't wait to work with this brand or to travel or make this drink recipe, that's a pretty unique feeling and I'm super grateful for that. "
While he's been successful in his business, his love life has taken a turn. Devoting his time to work took away from time spent nurturing his relationship, and ultimately Clark chose to follow his heart and pursue his passion.
"For some people, if that's what they want and can see the person they're with as a partner that they want to build their life with, they can do both," says Clark. "For me personally, I have plans in 2018 that I felt that I needed to go an individual path. Singleness is where I need to be right now. My career and seeing what it becomes outside of Apartment Bartender, it's something where I feel pretty selfish in my life that those are things I want to pursue, and I don't feel I'm in the right space to take someone else into consideration and to have that joint partnership."
To be clear, it's not that he doesn't believe pursuing your dream and embracing love can't coexist. He's just keeping it real—he's an all or nothing kind of guy.
"I think a foundational element to a relationship is service. Not so much what I can get out of it, but how am I really adding love and value to the person I'm with. I think in any relationship that should be a first thought, and if it's not my first thought of taking someone's interest other than my own and being with them and that being a top priority, it's tough to really make that work when your heart isn't 100% there."
Don't worry, ladies. When the time is right, he knows how to wine and dine. "I consider myself from how I dress and how I carry myself to be more classic style. I'm like an old-fashioned guy. I open the door for people and say thank you, you know treat people well."
A date with the Apartment Bartender may include a surprise cocktail. He'll ask your spirit of choice, whether you want it refreshing or more liquor heavy, and tailor the drink to your taste. Or, if you want to keep it simple, his daiquiris aren't to be dismissed.
"If I was on a date, I think it's important to know the person and craft something that's unique to them or unique to the moment," he says.
In the meantime, you can find this classic man serving up free knowledge on Instagram or on the Apartment Bartender website.
"What I hope to try to do is educate people on what else is out there so that they can develop more of a pallet. It's not so much what you drink that defines you, it's what you're closed off to drinking. I don't think a lot of people take the time to really investigate more of what's out there, whether it be agave spirits or different spirits like Cachaça. There's so much around to drink that I guarantee that I can make you any spirit that you want and you'll like it."
On that note, bottoms up.
For more Elliot, follow him on Instagram.
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Dreaming Of A White Christmas? These 7 Winter Wonderland Destinations Are Perfect For The Holidays
While most people opt for a tropical vacation during the winter months, there are still many people who want to fulfill their winter wonderland fantasies, which are more than likely centered on watching snow by the fireplace while sipping some hot cocoa.
With Thanksgiving vastly approaching and Christmas a little under a month away, there is still time to ditch the traditional Christmas home to visit family or friends.
Whether you’re looking to put a new stamp on your passport and keep things domestic with a destination in the States, xoNecole has you covered with a few hotspots for those itching to go somewhere cold (but with cozy vibes) this holiday season.
Aspen, Colorado
Our Christmas queen, Mariah Carey, has been taking an annual trip to this snowy destination since 1997, just three years after dropping the track that would make her the unofficial (but official to us) ambassador of the winter holiday.
Aside from being a key vacation spot for one of the culture’s greatest musicians, Aspen also offers travelers access to world-class skiing and snowboarding and four distinct mountains that provide the perfect backdrop for a winter vacation.
Whistler, British Columbia, Canada
Home to the largest ski resort in North America, Whistler Blackcomb, this destination is located in the Coast Mountain Range and is about 75 miles north of Vancouver.
From luxury spas like Scandinave Spa Whistler to Olympic Park, this is another top winter vacation spot that offers a unique experience for people who love snow and the thrill of a good adventure.
Western Massachusetts
Dubbed the place for a magical holiday escape, Springfield, Massachusetts, blends the warmth of small-town charm with unforgettable experiences like Grinchmas at Springfield Museums, Winterlights at Naumkeag in Stockbridge, Historic Deerfield’s Winter Frolic, and many others.
This destination offers something for all ages, and it’s close to home, making it all the more reason to place on your radar for a winter getaway.
Rovaniemi, Finland
If you want to really get into the Christmas spirit, this just may be the place for you. As the official home to Saint Nick himself, Rovaniemi, Finland offers reindeer sleigh rides, the opportunity to stay in a glass igloo, as well as an opportunity to experience the Santa Claus Village.
Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada
Who says that visits to the lake house are only reserved for summer vacation? A winter trip to Lake Tahoe is equipped with stunning lake views and top-notch ski resorts, including Heavenly and Northstar.
Chamonix, France
Sitting at the base of Mont Blanc, Chamonix, France, is known for its skiing and mountaineering. This destination is home to the Aiguille du Midi cable car, the charming Alpine village, and is also close to various other European ski destinations.
Northeastern Pennsylvania
This area of the U.S. state is home to the Poconos Mountains, whose renowned ski resorts include Camelback Mountain, Blue Mountain, and Jack Frost Big Boulder. Whether you’re a ski expert, a beginner, or just there for the vibes, this destination makes for a winter vacation that balances fun adventures and cozy getaways. Additionally, Pennsylvania is home to the Christmas Tree Capital of the world.
Feature image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 23, 2024











