For The D Challenge: A Sexual Liberating Moment For Women, Uncomfortable for Men
I've always known the D to be powerful.
I've thought about letting her be 9 to 5 and me being the weekend for that D.
I've said I love you way too soon for that D.
I've blown up phones for that D.
I've had my heart and mind leave the room while I make it work with a man that's completely wrong for me, for that D.
I'd cook 3 three-course meals a day for the D, shout his name to the heavens for the D. Call him daddy for the d – hell, even have his child for the D.
Dopamine is one of hell of a drug.
Perhaps, that's why I found comic relief in the “For the D" challenge that has become a viral sensation. It is a comedic spin on a real-life phenomenon that a lot of women have encountered in their sexual endeavors, whether good or bad. The movement, created by rapper GameOva Reedy, picked up steam this week when Issa Rae and Regina Hall posted a video rapping about "The D" and other celebrities started partaking in the challenge with their own renditions. Most notably, Erykah Badu, Sanaa Lathan, and KeKe Palmer bodied the challenge.
Despite the vulgarness of the challenge, it was such a beautiful thing to see women coming together, being expressive while being creative and owning their sexual identities and desires. On the surface, it was a viral trend centered around what women would do for sex and a piece of the male anatomy. However, I saw it as a radical act of defiance. Women doing whatever TF they want and I was more than here for the celebration of womanhood and sisterhood that it paved the way for.
As with any party, some get-togethers are going to have their naysayers and people took to social media to express their disgust with the challenge and seeing famous, professional black women like Sanaa Lathan and others take part:
As you can imagine, the world was not ready for professional, “Clean cut" women and top celebrities talking openly about what they'd do for the d. The challenge seems to be making some people – particularly men – uncomfortable with the bravado and the sex-positive attitudes women are exuding as they praise good sex.
Interestingly enough, while women get the side eye for talking openly about their love for a man's "big ego," no one questions the bevy of vulgar songs that have topped the charts over the past few decades focus on women's body parts. It's the norm and you don't question the norm. 2 Live Crew's “Pop That P*ssy" and “We Want Some P*ssy," Three 6 Mafia's “P*ssy Got Ya Hooked," ODB's “P*ssy Keep Calling," T.I.'s “My P*ssy," and Miguel's “P*ssy is Mine" are all examples of the many, many times men have coveted the P in today's and yesterday's popular music.
This challenge, no matter how elementary or perverse it seems to some, is a lot of women's way of leveling the playing field when it comes to advocating for their sex lives. Women like to get dirty in the bedroom just as much as men, if not more, especially when a man knows what to do with it (ladies, y'all know what I'm talking about). The penis and the clitoris are anatomical twins – why not praise our sex organs equally for the pleasure they initiate, especially when they come together?
Long story short, guys, you've had your moment, let women have their fun and express themselves for a week. Ultimately, it is in your favor.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage