Although I’m certainly not the biggest drinker on the planet, I have absolutely no problem enjoying a cocktail with dinner. I must admit though that, over the past couple of years or so, what I’ve actually preferred are mocktails — mostly because I like to see what different restaurants are able to come up with…and very rarely am I disappointed.
Plus, it doesn’t hurt that (based on the ingredients, of course) mocktails are oftentimes healthier, are less expensive and, if hangovers are something that you end up dealing with when it comes to consuming alcohol, that is nothing that you have to worry about when the drink is alcohol-free.
So, in honor of why mocktails are so wonderful, let’s kick off the fall season with some mocktails (including easy-to-follow recipes) that feature ingredients that are currently in season. And, as a bonus, how about I make sure that they are the kind of drinks that can really get your libido going — I mean, since this is the best time of year to get it in as much as possible?
And hey, if you don’t believe me, check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?” so that you can really get inspired to buy some new cocktail glasses for you and your boo.
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1. Fall Fig Fizz Mocktail
Did you know that a fig comes from a family that consists of inverted flowers that all grow in a pod? What this basically all boils down to is, that whenever you eat one, you are basically enjoying multiple fruits all at the same time. I think it’s also important to mention that figs, dates, and prunes are not the same thing; each has its own distinct qualities. That said, figs are good for you because they contain fiber to keep you regular, properties to lower your blood sugar levels, and even antioxidants that will help keep your skin healthy.
The reason why figs have a reputation for being a libido booster is because, when they are cut in half, some believe that they look a lot like a woman’s sex organs. If you add to that the fact that they are a good source of magnesium which can boost your sex drive and help to prevent erectile dysfunction, I thought that it would be fitting to start this off with a mocktail that has fall in the name.
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
2. Kiwi and Grape Mocktail
Kiwis and grapes are both considered to be fall fruits. As far as their health benefits go, let’s start with kiwi. Kiwi is good for you because it’s also a good source of fiber, as well as protein, vitamin C (it has a ton of that), vitamin K, and copper. On the health benefits tip, it’s good for your gut and heart, and, the vitamin C that’s in kiwi can help to keep your immunity strong.
Grapes, on the other hand, are also beneficial thanks to the fiber, protein, vitamin K, and copper that they contain. Aside from that, though, grapes can help to lower your blood pressure and cholesterol levels, they can fight off oxidative stress (thanks to all of the antioxidants that they have) and they can help to boost your brain health and memory as well as slow down the signs of aging while increasing longevity too.
And why would this mocktail help to get you in the mood? Well, for starters, kiwi is also a good source of vitamin E and that is a nutrient that helps widen your blood vessels so that you have better blood circulation which can lead to more intense orgasms. Some health experts say that kiwi can reduce the chances of premature ejaculation in your partner as well.
Grapes make the aphrodisiac list because they are rich in flavonoids which also help to increase blood circulation everywhere in the body — including your genital region.
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
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3. Sparkling Vanilla Pear Mocktail
This particular mocktail features three ingredients that are good for your sex drive: pear, vanilla, and cinnamon. Pears will do your body good because they are fiber-rich and they’re a pretty good source of protein, copper, and antioxidants. Since pears also contain plant compounds, they are good for your eyes and skin; plus, pears can help to reduce bodily inflammation and even lower your risk of diabetes.
Vanilla is good for you because it’s also an anti-inflammatory food that is rich in antioxidants, and cinnamon is bomb because it helps to boost your metabolism, lower your blood sugar levels, improve insulin insensitivity, and fight off bacteria and fungus-related infections.
So, what do all of these things do for you sexually? Pears contain anthocyanins, flavones, and flavanones that can help to treat erectile dysfunction the all-natural way, lab testing reveals that vanilla may help to increase sexual desire (not to mention that the scent is pretty sensual as well) and some studies say that cinnamon has the ability to bring balance to sex hormones, so that your libido, your periods and your fertility are more balanced.
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
4. Spicy Guava Mocktail
Antioxidants, fiber, and vitamin C are some of the main nutrients that guava provides. They all work together to strengthen your immune system, slow down the signs of aging in your skin, and even make your menstrual cycles more bearable (as far as cramping goes). Meanwhile, the chili powder that’s featured in this particular recipe can help you to lose weight, reduce your risk of heart disease, and even help decrease any (mild) pain and discomfort that you might feel in your body.
When it comes to physical intimacy, guava is seen as an aphrodisiac because the potassium that’s in it can help men maintain longer erections. Also, since it supports your muscles contracting in the proper way (which is exactly what happens to your vagina muscles during an orgasm) — I mean, must I say more? Chili powder? It helps to improve blood flow so that you can “see the mountaintop” more often (if you know what I mean).
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
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5. Vegan Pumpkin Pie Mocktail
There is no contest when it comes to the fact that the signature fruit for the fall season is pumpkin, so a pumpkin mocktail recipe absolutely had to make the list. As far as aphrodisiacs go, this one contains pumpkin, coconut milk, vanilla, and apple (butter). When it comes to the health benefits of pumpkin, it’s also full of fiber, protein, vitamin C, potassium, and antioxidants. It’s also totally off the charts when it comes to how much vitamin A it contains (a whopping 245 percent of the Reference Daily Intake).
And so, whenever you consume pumpkin, you can be confident in the fact that it’s helping to fight off free radicals, boost your immune system, protect your vision, keep you regular and it’s even going to give your skin the collagen support that it needs to remain healthy. Coconut milk is good for you because it’s the kind of milk alternative that is rich in fatty acids, has antimicrobial and antifungal properties, and can help to keep your heart in good shape.
We already touched on vanilla, so let’s move on to the fact that apples have a lot of fiber in them, along with nutrients that can lower your risk of being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes while keeping your gut running well, soothing asthma-related symptoms and even aiding in keeping your mental health where it should be.
On the sex tip, the fatty acids that are in pumpkin (especially pumpkin seeds) help to keep your sex hormones healthy while the zinc in them can increase your libido. Studies have shown that coconut can help to regulate male sex hormones and increase testosterone while apples can improve the overall quality of your sex life (especially if you are a young woman), not to mention the fact that it helps increase sexual arousal.
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
6. Easy Passion Fruit Sparkler
With a name like passion fruit, it better have some sex-related benefits — goodness. Anyway, it would benefit you to get some passion fruit into your system because it’s another fruit that is a good source of fiber, antioxidants, potassium, and magnesium. Plus, passion fruit can help to reduce anxiety, strengthen your immunity and it can increase hydration in your skin. Also, since it’s a low-calorie fruit, you can get a taste of sweetness that you may desire without worrying about packing on the pounds in the process.
You might want to sip on a passion fruit sparkler or two hours before having sex because the combination of potassium (which we already discussed can intensify your climaxes) and magnesium (which can make you less anxious and boost your libido; especially after menopause) could make for a really good night! (By the way, this recipe also calls for coconut and we’ve already touched on what it can do.)
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
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7. Pomegranate Mojito Mocktail
Since I’m a Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) observer, I’m very aware of the significance of pomegranates on a lot of levels. Health-wise, this fruit is good for you because it’s a solid source of protein, fiber, vitamin C, folate, potassium, and antioxidants. Pomegranates also have anticancer properties in them, they’re able to reduce bodily inflammation and they can even help to keep your brain sharp. Also, if you’re looking for food that can reduce UV ray damage from the inside out, pomegranates have your back in that department too.
Two other sex-beneficial ingredients in this recipe are mint and ginger (beer). Mint is good for your oral health as well as relieving indigestion, reducing breast discomfort while breastfeeding, and decreasing the severity of various cold symptoms. Ginger is awesome because it contains medicinal properties that do everything from bringing you some much-needed nausea (and morning sickness) relief and supporting your weight loss goals to lowering your cholesterol levels and reducing menstrual pain.
And what makes pomegranates an aphrodisiac? For starters, the antioxidants in them help to reduce stress and open up blood vessels, so that men have stronger erections and everyone has better orgasms. Plus, if you and your partner are looking to conceive, some research says that pomegranates have the ability to improve the quality of a man’s sperm.
And although mint has a reputation for lowering testosterone levels in men, it still gets a shout-out because it can help to balance hormones in women. And, as far as ginger goes, it’s another food that increases blood flow throughout your body which makes arousal easier and climaxing better.
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
8. Sparkling Apple Cider Mocktail
We’ve already talked about how apples and pomegranates can do your body, including your libido, a lot of good. As we close these fall mocktail recipes out, I thought it would be a good idea to find one that combines both fall season fruits. And I’ll just reiterate real quick that apples have polyphenols and antioxidants in them that will help to get you aroused quicker while pomegranates contain properties that can even help to put you in the mood for sex.
Treat Yourself to the Recipe Here
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With the weather getting cooler and the desire to cuddle (more) getting stronger, test one (or all) of these fall-themed mocktails out. It’s a delicious way to have an even more delicious night. #wink
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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