Just when you think you've heard it all, chile. I recently read an article with a title that truly needs no further explanation. Ready? "Why I Sometimes Wear My Vaginal Juice As Perfume". It's not that I'm not aware of the fact that all of us have a signature vaginal scent and, so long as we're healthy and it's not pungent, men are naturally attracted to it (which is one of the billions of reasons why douching is totally unnecessary). It's just that, the thought of reaching down in order to put some of my vaginal fluid on my neck? Maybe I'm more prudish than I thought I was (I'm a Gemini, so it couldn't be that), but it's gonna be a hard pass for me.
Still, sometimes you come across things because it ends up "connecting the dots" to other stuff, and that's just what that read did for me. As I did some digging around about the power of scent, as it specifically relates to attraction and sex, here are some of the things that I discovered.
- Scent-wise, did you know that we're attracted to people whose genes do not match our own?
- Did you know that women are naturally attracted to the smell of a man's shaved arm pits?
- Did you know that, as far as pheromones go, we actually are drawn to a little bit of funk?
- Or that there's solid research to support that foods like donuts, cinnamon buns, cheese pizza, chocolate and cola also turn us on? (Think about that the next time you have a craving for one of those things.)
- And yes, if you heard somewhere that the combination of pumpkin essential oil and lavender essential oil can increase the blood flow into a man's penis by 40 percent, that is absolutely true.
This is proof that we've been blessed with five senses—sight, hearing, touch, taste and yes, smell—and they even play a role in appeal, captivation and copulation too. So since our sense of smell matters just as much as the rest of 'em, I thought it would be a good idea to share some all-natural aphrodisiacs that men are all for—along with where to put them and how to make them last long past the first wink…or kiss…or well, you know.
I can see why vanilla would be an aphrodisiac. It's got a scent that is soft and sweet; "delicious" is another word that immediately comes to mind. And yes, men adore it. One study revealed that when they are close to a woman who has vanilla on, the smell is able to increase sexual arousal in them by as much as nine percent. Research also reveals that it has a powerful calming effect on anxiety and has an incredible ability to soothe and relax, both men and women, as well.
If you and/or your man would prefer a scent that isn't too feminine, sandalwood has totally got your back. It's got an earthy/woodsy smell that is very sexy and alluring at the same time. It's the kind of oil that's great for your skin (including acne and psoriasis), some people use it as a deodorant alternative and, it stimulates the pheromones in men and women. For women, it increases the libido and in men, it can prevent impotence from transpiring.
Back in the day, cinnamon oil used to be my complete and total jam! It smells good, it tastes great and—how do I PG this?—it makes oral sex that much more pleasurable (how'd I do?). This is one of the oils that will literally warm you and your partner up. It also increase blood circulation, treats erectile dysfunction and, if you add a little honey and sweet almond oil to it, well…kindly refer back to what I said about it and oral sex. Total. Game. Changer.
This might just qualify as your something new for the day.
I find this particular essential oil to be awesome because legend has it that men in certain parts of African used to chew on Carpolobia root an hour or so before sex in order to enhance their sexual performance (so it must be good!).
There are also studies to support that this is an herb that helps to heal male infertility while boosting the libido of men and women in the process.
As far as finding it goes, it's not nearly as easy as the rest of the oils on this list. But I did find a connect on Etsy if you're interested in giving it a shot.
5. Black Licorice
If you're not the biggest fan of black licorice, strictly from a taste standpoint, I'll just say this—it does have some pretty impressive health benefits. It's got the ability to cleanse your respiratory system, reduce stress, treat eczema, soothe the symptoms that are directly related to heartburn, stomach ulcers and food poisoning. So, if you'd prefer not to eat it, consider sipping on some black licorice tea. Or, putting it on your body. When men get a whiff of it, it increases sexual arousal in them by as much as 13 percent; that amount jumps all the way up to 32 percent if they smell licorice in combination with donuts.
An essential oil that has the ability to relieve depression-related symptoms, prevent nightmares (pretty crazy, huh?) and boost your self-confidence is the delicate feminine scent of rose. Rose is also able to help stabilize mood swings and regulate menstrual cycles. Plus, it has an uncanny way of "triggering" our body's natural sex hormones. It's another scent that increases blood circulation too. The more blood that's down below, the longer the erections and the more intense the orgasms are too.
7. Pink Grapefruit
I like to drink pink grapefruit juice. Good thing too because, on the health-tip, it's a fruit that boosts our immune system, helps to control our blood sugar levels, aids in weight loss, improves heart health and can even help to prevent asthma attacks. It makes this list because, along with increasing blood circulation and giving us more energy, interestingly enough, the smell of pink grapefruit makes us appear somewhere around 5-6 years younger. Like it or not, youth is a big turn on to a lot of guys so, there you go.
Jasmine is very sweet and romantic. It's one of my favorites, for sure. It's an oil that works as an antidepressant and sedative. It also encourages positive thoughts, and it's very sensual.
In fact, in certain parts of India, jasmine is the signature wedding flower because of its ability to enhance feelings of love and desire.
Use it as an oil to shave your legs (it reduces irritation) or a DIY massage oil ingredient. You won't regret it. He won't either.
Honorable Mention: Popcorn
Yep, you read that right. If you're someone who loves diving into a big bowl of popcorn, the fiber, whole grains, minerals and vitamins make it a healthy snack. Just make sure that you totally avoid the microwavable kind; the lining of the bag can actually decrease your libido (among other things).
And yes, if you're eating someone while sitting on the couch and watching a movie with your boo, there's a good chance that he won't be paying too much attention to what's on the screen. Popcorn is also an aphrodisiac scent. If there's butter on it, it can spike up a man's drive by nine percent (ain't that a trip?).
Where to Place Aphrodisiac Oils on Your Body
What a little trial and error (combined with some additional research) have taught me is knowing where to put an aphrodisiac scent is about as important as the one that you choose.
First, make sure that you pay attention to what is known as your "pulse points"; those are the areas of your body where your blood vessels are the closest to your skin; they produce more heat which can intensify the scent. Where exactly are some of your points? Places like your inner wrists, right where your elbow bends, the base of your neck, behind your earlobes and knees and in between your breasts are some good ones.
As far as your wrists go, just make sure to not do what a lot of us are guilty of doing—applying an oil or perfume and then rubbing our wrists together. What that ends up doing is activating too much of our natural body chemistry which could end up diluting or "crushing" the authenticity or potency of the smell.
Something else to keep in mind is, if you're using one of these oils as a way to heat up a night of passion, not all essential oils are edible (you can read more about that here). Plus, not all of them taste the best. Keep that in mind as you're contemplating where to place your favorite scent (cinnamon and vanilla taste great, by the way). One way to kinda get around the non-edible kind is to put those oils onto your hands and rub them over your lingerie; that way, your body will smell like the oil sans experiencing the bitter or icky taste of it.
How to Make Essential Oils Last for Hours on End
If you want to make an aphrodisiac scent last from the moment you put it on until the time you get it on, one way to do that is to create a mist with the essential oil in it and lightly mist your hair. Between the essential oil and your own hair's natural oils, the scent will remain on your tresses for hours.
Another cool tip is to put 10-15 drops of one of these oils into a fragrance-free moisturizer or carrier oil like grapeseed, almond, jojoba, sweet almond or avocado oil. The scent will be amazing, and your skin will be silky soft.
Something else that can make essential oils more potent is combining them. It may take a couple of tries to get exactly what you're looking for, but I'm a big fan of this too because it can create a signature scent that no one else has (and you don't have to tell anyone about).
Just one more thing. If your plan is to apply a little bit of the oil to your vaginal region, make sure to also dilute it with a carrier oil and to put it on your vulva, not in your vagina. If you want to be taken totally out of the mood, avoid this pearl of wisdom and see what happens (burn baby, burn!).
Well, there you have it. Whether it's for a hot date or a very sexy night, here's a cheat sheet on how to make you even more unforgettable—from the very moment he catches even a little whiff of your totally intoxicating scent.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at email@example.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
We waved farewell to summer last week, along with all its highlights. Now we warmly embrace music that encourages us to feel, calm down, and think back on the last enjoyable months and their aftermath. Some of the aftereffects of our summertime delights, like "Lil Boo Thang" and "Guarantee," will make us feel content and that our time was well spent. Other repercussions, like "I Just Wanna Feel Your Love Again" and "No SZNs," are more severe and will leave us contemplating some ill-placed steps while we spiral into deep despair.
Whichever side you find yourself on during this change of seasons, or if you're between, consider adding some of these new singles to your playlist to help mourn what's left of this summertime weather. While also welcoming the possibilities that only autumn's beautiful breeze can create.
1.Doechii - "Pacer"
Oh, Doechii, how we have waited for you at every door and corner for what seems like an eternity; yet we are so grateful that you have finally arrived. Doechii has released another single to further demonstrate her versatility after releasing one of the summer's most popular songs. With "Pacer," Doechii, who stunned us with her vocal range on "What It Is," goes back to her rapping roots. The TDE phenomenon starts the song out completely unhinged. With a blood-curdling scream, similar to fellow TDE artist Jay Rock, Doechii gathers her clique to prepare for battle, as though she had just returned from a fierce altercation.
However, instead of amassing casualties upon those who doubted her, Doechii plans to render them inept under the weight of her accomplishments and accolades. She acknowledges that she has arrived at her success later than she had hoped, but says she is on "God's time," and that while reaching her level of achievement later than others, she has done it regardless and with enough assurance to intend to remain for a while.
2."No Statements" - ScarLip
No matter what rap music you play these days, there is always a critic waiting to proclaim that rap and hip-hop are dying. Although part of what they say is true, they haven't yet detected the faint pulse that keeps the business alive. If the naysayers would quiet down long enough to hear that fading pulse, it would be the sound of female rappers smashing through locked doors in an attempt to reclaim its strong and steady beat. One of those rappers, besides Doechii, is ScarLip.
ScarLip, who is 22 years old, fresh off the success of her 2022 "Glizzy Gobbler," has dropped her newest single "No Statements." The rapper says in "No Statements" that she is not in the business of snitching, making statements, or leaving a paper trail of her wrongdoings, but rather needs to be fully aware of the circumstances so she may proceed with her decisions. It would be difficult to not hear people humming this song for weeks to come, because of the catchy chorus and straightforward lyricism. Maybe after this, critics can follow her lead and refrain from making detrimental statements.
3."How Were We To Know" - Emeli Sandé
How were we to know? We ponder this question after a relationship has ended and everything has been put out on the floor to be either picked up and rebuilt or swept away and abandoned. How were we to tell if the connection would burn to the ground or vanish into thin air? How could we have known that the person we intended to spend forever with would be gone the next day? How were we to recognize all the signs when they were arranged randomly and incomprehensibly? In this query, we pardon ourselves for not being omniscient. We accept responsibility for failing to recognize the apparent facts that were put in front of us.
Emelie Sandé asks the same questions in her most recent song, "How Were We To Know." She ponders how she might have known that the relationship was doomed. But as the song goes on, it becomes obvious that she, just like the rest of us, could have easily figured it out if we had communicated better, assigned blame less frequently, and set aside our egos.
4."Angel" - Halle (Acoustic Performance)
At the beginning of August, Halle Bailey released "Angel," her debut single as a solo performer. In less than a few hours, the piano-driven ballad that explored what it is like to be a Black woman growing up in this tiresome, neglectful environment captured millions of listeners and became an anthem for all sun-kissed girls. With beautiful lyricism that acknowledges the weight unfairly burdened upon Black women, Halle reminds audiences that they are in fact angelic, despite the demons that appear out of the woodwork to tell us otherwise.
When one falls, they fall "onto clouds" and find a way to make their way through the limitless struggles bestowed by simply existing. After all, as I said before, black women are the only things to ever grow without nourishment. As if the song couldn't be lovelier than the original rendition, Halle debuted an acoustic version of the smash a couple of weeks ago to demonstrate just how genuinely heavenly she is.
5."No SZNS" - Jean Dawson and SZA
Every day is like the day before. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west, and everything beautiful and dismal that can happen occurs in between. The seasons bring a certain ambiance that allows for differentiation between the past and the present, but only if you're in a place where it matters, and the changing of seasons can be felt. If not, then every day is every day. In "NO SZNS," by Jean Dawson and SZA, this simple fact is mentioned repeatedly in the chorus; but the reality of every day being the same creates an unshakeable melancholy that can only be felt through their lilting vocals and sometimes abrupt instrumentals.
They appear to be pleading for some other truth, because they find it difficult to accept that each day will be the same as the last, and that, despite the passing of time and the changing of the seasons, we are doomed to repeat the at times idyllic, terrifying cycle.
6."Black Dress" - 070 Shake
It's unfortunate that not as many people tune in to 070 Shake as frequently as they ought to. Despite becoming popular with her song "SCAR" on Beyoncé's The Lion King: The Gift, many people are still unaware of how good she is as an artist. The unclassifiable New Jersey musician, whose music is tough to define, has released "Black Dress," in preparation for her second album, You Can't Kill Me. The brand-new 070 Shake track "Black Dress" is a sensation with a haunting feel.
The song has strong, churning guitars, hazy synthesizers, and trap 808s that help to create an eerie and encapsulating, daunting melody. Shake plays the sole survivor of an aircraft accident in the popular song's music video, which was shot by Noah Lee. She is originally stranded in a tree with her parachute before descending to the burning wreckage below. When she finally touches the ground, she performs a song deserving of the fame she will one day enjoy.
7."You" - Lola Brooke ft. Bryson Tiller
What's that I hear around the way? Oh, another female rapper here to save the day? With the help of Bryson Tiller, Lola Brooke's newest song, "You," aims to kick off this cuffing season in the 90s. The rapper, who is relatively new to the hip-hop scene and who recently released the single "Don't Play With It," samples Foxxy Brown's popular song "Get Me Home" on this nearly three-minute tune.
In time for the fall, Brooke and Tiller's powerful voices and sensuous vocals have created the ideal song to dance to while searching for love. In her lyrics, the 29-year-old displays both her Brooklyn heritage and the characteristics ideal in a potential suitor. By the end of the song, it is clear that Brooke plans to move through this cuffing season with intention and refuses to settle for anything less than what she deserves.
8."Guarantee" - Black Eyed Peas
No matter how far into the future we are, you can always depend on the Black Eyed Peas to come from a more vibrant, lively, and distant time period than our own. The trio speaks about having what other people need in their newest song, "Guarantee," off of their 2022 album ELEVATION. In this single, they assert that they can elevate all that is freely provided to them, leading to greater love, knowledge, and total pleasure.
Promising endless satisfaction, they show what is guaranteed if only given the opportunity. With a fun summer mix and poppy, futuristic beat, "Guarantee" is one of the dance songs the endless heat has to give.
9."Lil Boo Thang" - Paul Russell
It is almost ridiculous how often this song has been played throughout the summer, to not have made it in time to be a summer hit. But with only the first 30 seconds available to audiences via TikTok, it had no other choice but to be a glimmer of what it could have been. Nevertheless, now that Paul Russell's "Lil Boo Thang" has been made available, it includes a much lengthier version of the endearing summer song about liking someone enough to be open and honest about one's intentions.
In this short song, he sings of all the potential and affection he can bring to the relationship if only given the chance. Concluding with a nice homage to The Emotions' "Best of My Love," "Lil Boo Thang" might be able to reclaim the love it was unable to receive in the summer this fall.
10."I Just Wanna Feel Your Love Again." - Montell Fish
If Kevin Abstract, Leon Bridges, and Moses Sumney had a baby, I'd imagine it'd be this Montell Fish single. In "I Just Wanna Feel Your Love Again." Fish laments the end of his relationship and the unrestricted love that came with its demise in this song. Without her affection, the need and want to be with her consumes his weekends and moments, but he is always left pleading and alone.
To make matters worse, he is compelled to navigate the world knowing how wonderful it is to experience everlasting love and realizing that he is unlikely to come close to doing so again. As he sings over a guitar and echoing backing vocals, the song has a loneliness that cannot be placed into words. Ultimately, his longing to once again experience his love's devotion feels almost unearthly and forever out of reach.
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