Hard. Soft. Hard. Soft. Hard. Soft. It's the familiar dance with a rhythm that has held me captivated since discovering the power of the heather gray sweatpants tease. When a man gets aroused, it's a sight for sore eyes as the full strength of his penis is put on display and the promise of penetration is the beckon you answer to. For that reason, a couple experiencing erectile dysfunction (ED) in their partnership might be feeling some type of way. However, you are not alone.
These days, erectile dysfunction (ED) has been experiencing a major rebrand. Thanks to a surge in young men desiring to last longer during sex and with minimal millennial-friendly ads from brands like Hims and Numan, the use of Viagra and the conversations surrounding erectile dysfunction in men are becoming slightly more normalized. Gone are the days when the use of the blue pill was solely affiliated with old age and impotence. Now, brands like the UK's Viagra delivery service Eddie are proudly touting from the rooftops, "ED isn't an 'old man problem.'" Although some younger men are popping these pills for recreational use by the droves, studies suggest that Eddie's slogan is indeed facts and some use it because they can't maintain an erection.
According to a 2013 study titled "One Patient Out of Four with Newly Diagnosed Erectile Dysfunction Is a Young Man," researchers found that 26 percent of men under the age of 40 are affected by erectile dysfunction. What this speaks to is just how prevalent ED as a condition may be for young people. The good news is, erectile dysfunction is not the death sentence to relationships and intimate connections that you might think it is.
We spoke with sex therapist Dr. Donna, LICSW, M.ED, founder and lead therapist at AnnodRight, who answered some frequently asked questions surrounding erectile dysfunction and how not to allow it to be the downfall of a partnership.
Q: What is erectile dysfunction?
"Erectile dysfunction is a disorder in which a person with a penis may not be able to get or maintain an erection to have/complete (usually penetrative) sex. The cause of erectile dysfunction can be physical ailment, psychological, or both. If it is a physical problem, a doctor may be able to help to get to the root of the issue, and it can be resolved. If it is psychological, a sex therapist can help a client address the problem, and it can also be resolved. However, it has the potential to ebb and flow in a person's life depending on the cause and how well/if it can be fully resolved."
Q: Why can’t my partner get it up?
"Many things can impact a person's ability to get and maintain an erection including nerve or other damage to the penis. There could also be a blood-flow problem, which can be exacerbated by excessive drinking, smoking, etc. Lack of hydration in a person's system can also impact erections because water is necessary to have optimal blood flow—so drink up. Aside from the physical, there can be psychological reasons for not being able to get or maintain an erection. Stress, anxiety, depression, etc. can impact a penis bearers ability to get it up and keep it up."
Q: Should I take the fact that my partner can’t hard personally?
"It should NOT be taken personally if your partner is not able to get or keep it up. It's likely not about you, per se. It might really be that they are worried about pleasing you, so much so, that they cannot get an erection---performance anxiety. If there is a lack of connection in the relationship, that could be a factor, but you can have a conversation with one another and try to resolve the root of the issue."
Q: How can I stop myself from taking their ED personally?
"I have told clients that their partner's issue with getting an erection is not really about them. There are too many factors at play for anyone to be blamed for a partner's flaccid penis. Chances are, when those issues are addressed, they will be standing at attention once again! However, if you are truly concerned that it is you, take the time to have a conversation with your honey and let them know what you have been feeling and thinking."
Q: What are some ways to address the fact that I have an issue with his ED?
"I myself tend to be more direct, but I also recognize having this conversation can feel super sensitive and awkward. So start there! You can say something along the lines of, 'So, I feel really awkward saying this, but I feel like we are tiptoeing around the issue we seem to be having around sex. Are you in a mental space to talk about it right now?' Telling them how you feel with an 'I' statement, and ending with asking if they are ready to talk about it gives them a chance to give their consent to have an open and honest dialogue. It also means they are in a mental space to accept your feedback."
Q: How can I help my partner with erectile dysfunction and engage in physical intimacy without medication?
"Creating a no-pressure sex environment can really help with reducing erectile dysfunction-based performance anxiety. Just explore each others bodies without the pressure or expectation for sex. Sex is a whole lot more than simply penetration. There are a whole bunch of other things that can be done including oral sex, using hands to sexually stimulate, or using toys. Experiment! You might just find something else you really enjoy."
To learn more about Dr. Donna's work or to book an appointment, check out her website here.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
This year's It Girl 100 is a mosaic of brilliance, spotlighting entrepreneurs, cultural disruptors, beauty visionaries, and boundary-pushing creatives who embody the spirit of "Yes, And." This digital celebration honors the women who embrace every facet of themselves, proving you can chase the bag and still honor your desire to live life softly.
Here's the roll call for xoNecole's It Girl 100 Class of 2025: Viral Voices.
Content Creator Eni Popoola
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Eni Popoola
Her Handle: @enipopoola
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Eni Popoola is the visionary creative behind beautifully cinematic content that fuses fashion and feeling. We love her for proving that elegance and emotion can exist in every frame.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm not afraid to pivot and the best is still yet to come."
Content Creator Jessie Woo
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Jessie Woo
Her Handle: @thejessiewoo
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Jessie Woo is joy personified, a multi-talented entertainer and fearless truth-teller. We celebrate her for using humor, music, and faith to create content that heals through laughter.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes. I’m a force — and that’s why I create my own lanes instead of waiting for one to open."
Media Personality, Founder and Host Kayla Nicole
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Kayla Nicole
Her Handle: @kaylanicole
Her Title: Media Personality; Founder, Tribe Therepē; Host, Welcome to the Pre-Game
Who's That It Girl: Kayla Nicole merges style, storytelling, and self-awareness like no other. We celebrate her for being the friend in our feeds who reminds us to show up fully, flaws, fire, and all.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē."
Creator and Entrepreneur Simi Muhumuza
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Simi Muhumuza
Her Handle: @simimoonlight
Her Title: Creator and Entrepreneur
Who's That It Girl: Simi is a writer, and creative based in Brooklyn, NY. She focuses on style, lifestyle and wellness.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, and I’m reaching even higher."
Creator Kiera Please
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Kiera Please
Her Handle: @kieraplease
Her Title: Creator
Who's That It Girl: Kiera Please is a creator, voice actress, and artist whose creativity knows no bounds. With her unique mix of style, cosplay, and storytelling, she’s built a global fan base that celebrates self-expression.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m just weird girl and I’ll just keep getting weirder."
Content Creator Zaynah Bear
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Zaynah Bear
Her Handle: @madame_zay
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Zaynah Bear is a social media content creator known for her cartoon-style comedic storytelling that blends humor with everyday relatability. Her unique approach to creating content builds strong audience connections and keeps her community coming back for more laughs.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm boldly Black and beautifully quirky, owning every shade of my uniqueness."
Social Media Consultant and Creative Candace Marie
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Candace Marie
Her Handle: @marie_mag_
Her Title: Social Media Consultant and Creative
Who's That It Girl: Candace Marie is a luxury social-media strategist and founder of Black In Corporate. A former Parsons professor, she’s worked with fashion powerhouses like PRADA and Victoria Beckham, helping shape a more inclusive industry.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m grounded in strategy & storytelling—and I’m creating pathways for the future of influence."
Model and Content Creator Quenlin Blackwell
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Quenlin Blackwell
Her Handle: @quenblackwell
Her Title: Model and Content Creator
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Content Creator and TV Host Kamie Crawford
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Kamie Crawford
Her Handle: @kamiecrawford
Her Title: Content Creator and TV Host
Who's That It Girl: Kamie Crawford’s presence is as commanding as her compassion. We love her for being a media personality who advocates for confidence, self-worth, and love rooted in realness.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm that girl and I’ve had to heal parts of me to become her."
Author and Podcaster Sesali Bowen
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Sesali Bowen
Her Handle: @badfatblackgirl
Her Title: Author and Podcaster
Who's That It Girl: Sesali was born and raised on the Southside of Chicago and coined trap feminism. During her time as an entertainment writer for Refinery29 she was one of the architects of Unbothered, their sub brand for Black women. As a brand strategist and copywriter she’s worked with Netflix, Onyx Collective, and more.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I said it and I’m standing on it."
Co-Host of 'Pour Minds' Podcast Drea Nicole
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Drea Nicole
Her Handle: @dreanicoleee
Her Title: Co-Host of Pour Minds Podcast
Who's That It Girl: As one-half of the hit podcast Pour Minds, Drea Nicole brings real talk with humor and heart. We celebrate her for creating spaces where women can laugh, learn, and live out loud.
Co-Host of 'Pour Minds' Podcast Lex P
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Lex P
Her Handle: @lex_p_
Her Title: Co-Host of Pour Minds Podcast
Who's That It Girl: Lex P’s voice is bold, funny, and deeply authentic. We love her for turning the mic into a movement through Pour Minds, proving that humor and healing can thrive side by side.
Content Creator Jeannette Reyes
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Jeannette Reyes
Her Handle: @msnewslady
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Jeannette Reyes, known online as @msnewslady, went from the newsroom to building her own media brand. She’s a creator, speaker, and author using her platform to help women show up confidently on and off camera.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I take up space and I make room for others."
Founder of Mary Louise Cosmetics Akilah Releford
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Akilah Releford
Her Handle: @akilahreleford
Her Title: Founder of Mary Louise Cosmetics
Who's That It Girl: Founder of Mary Louise Cosmetics, Akilah merges skincare and sisterhood with intention. We celebrate her for turning DIY passion into a thriving brand rooted in empowerment and care.
Award-Winning Journalist and Beauty Expert Kayla Greaves
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Kayla Greaves
Her Handle: @kaylaagreaves
Her Title: Award-Winning Journalist and Beauty Expert
Who's That It Girl: Kayla Greaves is a journalist and on-camera expert who’s spent more than a decade telling stories that matter. From interviewing icons like Naomi Campbell to consulting for major brands, she continues to redefine beauty and culture.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm bold and I make no qualms about it."
Digital Creator Lauren W.
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Lauren W.
Her Handle: @laurenthelolife
Her Title: Digital Creator, Lifestyle and Beauty
Who's That It Girl: Lauren W. brings a breath of honesty to lifestyle content. We celebrate her for creating digital spaces that feel like safe havens for self-discovery, growth, and grace.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, and I'll do it solo!"
Host of 'She's So Lucky' Podcast Les Alfred
Les Alfred
Her Handle: @lesalfred
Her Title: Host of She's So Lucky podcast
Who's That It Girl: Les Alfred is a media entrepreneur and cultural storyteller shaping the future of women-centered narratives. As the creator and host of She’s So Lucky (formerly Balanced Black Girl), an NAACP Image Award-nominated podcast, she has built a thriving media ecosystem that explores wellness and self-discovery through the lens of trail-blazing women.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm strong and I lead with softness."
Influencer, Rapper and Actress Aliyah's Interlude
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Aliyah's Interlude
Her Handle: @aliyahsinterlude
Her Title: Influencer, Rapper and Actress
Who's That It Girl: Aliyah's Interlude brings softness and soul to the internet’s boldest spaces. We honor her for creating artful, introspective content that reminds us to slow down, reflect, and dream louder.
Beauty and Fashion Digital Creator Clarke Peoples
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Clarke Peoples
Her Handle: @clarkepeoples
Her Title: Beauty and Fashion Digital Creator
Who's That It Girl: Clarke Peoples creates content that feels like a warm conversation. We love her for her authenticity and for showing that influence grounded in truth never goes out of style.
Model and Content Creator Kamrin White
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Kamrin White
Her Handle: @kamrinwhite
Her Title: Model and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate Kamrin White for transforming her lifestyle lens into something real and radiant. A proud Afro-Latina creator and entrepreneur, she weaves wellness, fashion, and authenticity into her content, inviting her audience to live boldly and vulnerably in their own stories.
Lifestyle and Beauty Creator Jayla Brenae
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Jayla Brenae
Her Handle: @jaylabrenae
Her Title: Lifestyle and Beauty Creator
Who's That It Girl: Jayla Brenae inspires through her transparency and storytelling. We honor her for blending wellness, confidence, and community into content that uplifts and empowers women of all walks.
Journalist and Content Creator Casey Winbush
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Casey Winbush
Her Handle: @caseywinbush
Her Title: Journalist and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: With humor and heart, Casey Winbush is the voice of digital relatability. We celebrate her for blending vulnerability with wit, turning everyday stories into shared laughter and healing.
Model and Owner of PLEASEPEARLME Kendra Austin
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Kendra Austin
Her Handle: @kendramorous
Her Title: Model and Owner of PLEASEPEARLME
Who's That It Girl: Kendra Austin is poetry in motion, writer, model, and muse. We honor her for redefining softness as strength and for giving women permission to rest, feel, and reclaim joy.
Multidisciplinary Visual Artist and Creative Entrepreneur Shema Love
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Shema Love
Her Handle: @shemalove
Her Title: Multidisciplinary Visual Artist and Creative Entrepreneur
Who's That It Girl: Shema Love is a Brooklyn-based artist and designer turning art into healing. Her bold visuals and apparel celebrate Black joy, creativity, and self-expression, featured by Vogue, Nike, Netflix, and the WNBA.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I save lives and art saved me."
Content Creator Kristine Thompson
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Kristine Thompson
Her Handle: @mskristine
Her Title: Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Kristine Thompson is a fashion and lifestyle creator passionate about redefining style standards for plus-size women. Through her platforms, she shares inspiring fashion, beauty, and travel content that empowers her community to feel confident at any size.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I celebrate style and I challenge the idea that beauty comes in one size."
Beauty, Lifestyle and Fashion Creator Crystal Nicole
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Crystal Nicole
Her Handle: @iamcrystalnicolee
Her Title: Beauty, Lifestyle and Fashion Creator
Who's That It Girl: Crystal Nicole’s storytelling moves between vulnerability and victory. We honor her for her ability to inspire others to be unapologetically themselves despite the pressures of social media and for crafting narratives that empower women to rewrite their own anthems.
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by xoStaff