Quantcast

10 Men Told Me What They Truly Find Sexy In A Woman

"Sexy" is definitely not one size fits all...

Love & Relationships

Damn. When I hit up some guys in my social sphere so that they could tell me about a trait that they think makes a woman sexy, about 70 percent of them started with a sigh followed by the word "damn". When I asked them to expound, most of them said something along the lines of, "'Sexy' is such a vast word that it can be hard to narrow it down to just one thing." When I asked them to try (middle names were used), below are the 10 things that they put on record.


The reason why I thought it was important to share with all of you is because, let IG models and OnlyFans (le sigh) tell it, sexiness is one-dimensional. As you're totally about to see, though, when it comes to what men — Black men — find to be sexy (hot, sensual, alluring, provoking, arousing, appealing and even glamourous), there is actually so much more to it than what the media constantly wants us to believe.

"Sometimes a woman's voice is all that you need."

Getty Images

Devin, 28, Single.

"There's a woman I know who isn't physically my type at all. But I can listen to her for hours because her voice is so smooth and sensual. She's also got a hella vocab which means she's intellectual. She's also really articulate. Yeah, a nice voice with something to say can get me, almost every time."

"I'm all about natural beauty."

Getty Images

Justice, 33, Married.

"I think it's crazy that it's gotten to the point where some women are triggered when a man says that he prefers natural hair, minimal make-up and a real body. What is wrong with y'all? Anyway, that's what's sexy to me."

"I like a woman who is so comfortable with herself that she doesn't feel the need to rely on any 'extras'. Again, if that bothers you, I think something is up with that. A man who likes the way God created a woman is one of the greatest compliments there is."

"Thickness. Lawd."

Getty Images

Orion, 40, Single.

"I guess I'm the anti-Kevin Samuels guy in the sense that, HELL NO, I don't want some skinny chick. I like a grown woman and, to me, she comes with all kinds of curves. And when she has a sway in her hips when she enters a room? She's got me mesmerized on all kinds of levels. If you haven't had the pleasure of being with a woman who's got curves all over, you haven't truly lived. Straight up."

"High heels, in just about anything, please."

Getty Images

Aden, 35, Married.

"I really love a woman who is into shoes. No, high heel shoes — the higher the better. It's very feminine to me. It also makes her legs look really long and she comes off as extremely confident. One of my favorite things is when I come home and my wife has literally nothing on but a new pair of pumps that she's bought. Forget lingerie. That's all I need right there."

"I like a woman who f--ks with herself."

Getty Images

Tomeo, 24, Single.

"Damn. 'Sexy' is one helluva word. The first thing that comes to my mind is a woman who f — ks with herself. She's comfortable in who she is. She's not constantly switching up to please other people. She's levelheaded and balanced. She's unapologetically unique. So many women look like other women these days. A woman whose style and energy stand out is really sexy."

"A happy woman is sexy AF to me."

Getty Images

Evin, 38, Divorced.

"A big part of what ended my marriage is my wife was a pessimist. It's like she was constantly looking for something to complain about."

"I didn't know it when I first got married but I know it now — a woman who is optimistic, solutions-oriented and is a 'light'…damn, that is sexy. A woman with a great sense of humor, can laugh at my flaws and mistakes as well as her own and doesn't take things too seriously? It truly doesn't get much sexier than that."

"Being down for whatever is sexy."

Getty Images

Torance, 27, Engaged.

"I'm thinking that women have heard this before, but it can't be said enough — no man wants to initiate sex all of the time. Just like women want to feel wanted and desired, men do too. My fiancée is naturally sexy in the way that she moves. She's very… 'sleek' is the word that comes to mind. She just kinda glides into a room and glides out. That's sexy. But what I really like is she has a libido that damn near supersedes mine. She loves sex. She loves to explore sex. And she has no problem letting me know when and how she wants me. I was pretty out here before her. Since she's come into my life, I'm good."

"Short hair. Dressed up. Takes care of herself...that chick is sexy."

Getty Images

Bernard, 46, Single.

"I've always been a sucker for a woman with really short hair. A part of it is because I like necks. I also think it makes a woman appear really sure of herself, like she doesn't have to hide behind hair to feel beautiful. And then if she's got on a dress that hugs her curves, some high heels and some really nice nails? A woman like that sends the message that you've got to come to her correct because she puts energy into her appearance. When I know that she's gonna make me 'work for it'…yeah, that's sexy."

"'Zen' women are sexy."

Getty Images

Nelson, 42, Divorced.

"Women who send the message, 'I come to you in peace' are sexy to me. No drama. Very centered. Talks about things like reading books, going on walks and meditating. It might sound boring to some people, but I think this kind of woman is sexy because she prioritizes her peace of mind and when you know that she likes peace in her space, that means she doesn't want anyone or thing disrupting it. That kinda lady can get all of my time. Whew."

"Women who wrap themselves up like the gift that they are is sexy."

Getty Images

Zeke, 31, Single.

"I wish more women knew that we like to see them in lingerie outside of sex. Going to bed in sexy stuff…hell, watching TV in sexy stuff is such a teddy is such a turn-on."

"Some women might roll their eyes or whatever but, contrary to popular belief, seeing a beautiful woman in lingerie isn't always about wanting to have sex. Sometimes we just sit back and take it all in, especially when we're really into 'her'. A woman in lingerie, for no real reason, is like looking at a present that is all wrapped up — you want to see what's inside, but you really can just sit and admire everything for a while too."

"The woman I see right now has such a huge collection that I know she thinks she's the s — t. It reminds me to treat her that way…often. Sexy. Sexy."

Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.

Featured image by Getty Images

So, here's the deal about store-bought lubricant. Oftentimes, when people think about using it, it's in reference to "treating" vaginal dryness or making sex easier post-menopause (when our vagina walls tend to be thinner and our natural lubrication isn't as much as it once was). However, as you're about to see in just a few minutes, it really doesn't matter how wet you're naturally able to get or how old you are, everyone should have at least a few tubes of lube in their possession — an oil-based kind for non-penetrative sexual stimulation; a water-based one for sexy toys (or if you or your partner's genitalia is naturally sensitive) and a silicone-based one for intercourse.

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

This article is in partnership with Xfinity.

Those who have experienced an HBCU homecoming understand the assignment. College students, alumni, and family of a Historically Black College and University gather and partake in the excitement of celebrating the heritage and culture of the school. It's a time of joy, honoring traditions, and for some, reflecting on the good ol' days. Homecoming weekends are spent eating well, laughing plenty, and enjoying the sights; and there's plenty to see and do! (Spoiler alert: Sleep is not on the syllabus.)

Keep reading... Show less

Cuffing season just got a little bit hotter! This fall, Ready to Love is coming back to our screens for an all-new season, just in time for us to screen and cuddle up with potential baes in real life. For its fourth season, the hit show is trading in their popular Houston and Atlanta backdrops seen in previous seasons for the nation's capital: Washington, D.C. And as host Nephew Tommy Miles tells it, it's all about "location, location, location," baby!

Keep reading... Show less

We all know the feeling. You plop down in a stylist's seat excitedly waiting for your slay to begin, only to be met with a look of panic when they actually lay eyes on your hair. As a woman with thick and coarse 4C textured hair, I know that gaze well. Sadly, so do most Black women, and it's been an ongoing problem in the entertainment world for decades.

Keep reading... Show less

Whether it was in passing at a meeting, while chatting with your best friend over cocktails, or in your favorite travel group, the phrase Mercury Retrograde has always been associated with catastrophic setbacks - especially those that relate to technology, travel and communication. This final Mercury Retrograde of the year takes place from September 27 to October 18 and is based in Libra, the sign ruling relationships, harmony, balance and justice. Don't be surprised if an ex comes crawling back to you now, or if you find yourself trying to slip back in your old bae's DMs in the coming weeks!

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

Exclusive: Lucky Daye Is Doing It For The Culture, From The Soul

Every so often, an artist comes along who seems to be a physical manifestation of all that we are.

Latest Posts