Lingerie Hacks: How To Choose The Best Kind For Your Body Type
Ah, lingerie. If there's one thing that I'm a huge fan of women owning, it's exactly that. There are a few reasons why. For starters, I think it's something that all women are able to look really sexy in. When it comes to bringing your "A" game to seduction, you can't miss when you wear it. Plus, I don't know about you but, whenever I put it on, I feel so damn…beautiful.
Sometimes, when I'm in counseling sessions and couples will bring up how their bedroom has become a bit of a yawn fest, it's not uncommon for me to ask what the bedding and the wife's lingerie is looking like. And you know what? More times than not, the response is both could use a bit of sprucing up. Thing is, sometimes wives will then share with me that they don't really enjoy lingerie shopping because they have a hard time figuring out what looks best on them. Because, after all, when it comes to lingerie, it's not really a one-kind-suits-all situation.
That's why I decided to offer up a bit of a cheat sheet. Rather than break lingerie down into specific body types, I thought it would be best to share what pieces complement different parts of the body most. That way, you can go into a store with confidence about what you want and why you need it, so that you can come home and blow you and your partner's mind—in that order too. Ready?
Bustiers Will Draw Attention to Your Breasts
If you're looking to create an hourglass effect with the emphasis being on your breasts, a bustier is the way to go. It's definitely something that will make your waistline appear smaller as your breasts appear bigger—which is why a lot of women with smaller-sized breasts prefer to wear them.
Chemises are Perfect for Long Legs
A chemise is basically a really short dress in lingerie form. It's for a woman who's more on the low-maintenance and playful side of lingerie. What I like about this particular option is if you're someone with legs for days, it can make them look super seductive without a lot of hassle.
Teddies Are Great on Women with Wide Shoulders
What if you're someone with a pair of really wide shoulders? If you want a style that will have you out here looking uber feminine, you can never go wrong with a teddy. The way they are cut can help to actually give your shoulders more of a slim appearance while elongating the rest of your body at the same time.
Corsets Create an Hourglass Silhouette
Something that I think looks unbelievable on pretty much any woman is a corset. It's the kind of garment that starts right underneath a woman's breasts and extends right down to her hips. It helps to create a beautiful silhouette and, when you choose to not wear much else but it, it can be sexy AF times 10.
Rompers Are Nice on Thinner Bodies
Rompers are cute, right? They look like short lil' playsuits. When they're the lingerie version, the shorts are about as high as boy shorts which can make your legs look great. And since it's a one-piece article of clothing, it's ideal if you're on the thinner side but want to give the illusion of being a little curvier without sacrificing comfort in the process.
Baby Dolls Are Amazing for Small Waistlines
Do you not have much of a waistline or you're a little thicker in the middle? Shoot, there's nothing wrong with that, yet if you want something that will camouflage that specific area of your body, go with a baby doll look. It's very romantic and flattering at the same time because it drapes around your hips while pulling the emphasis away from the middle of your body at the same time.
Body Stockings Are Sensual on Athletic Builds
Whether you've got a super athletic body (toned or muscular) or you're thin and your shape is kind of straight up and down, something that would be perfect for you is a body stocking. Although it does cover up your entire body, because it's oftentimes made of sheer lace or fishnet, body stockings can add dimension with very little left to the imagination too.
Thongs Are Perfect for Showing Off Your Assets
If you've got a great ass and you know it, why in the world would you hide it? Put it in the thong and strut your good stuff all over the place. If all goes well, you won't have them on for long, anyway. Right?
V-Shaped Butt Needs Boy Shorts
If you've got a lil' bit of junk in your trunk but you don't have much in the hips department, a pair of panties that would look great on you is the ones that are V-shaped. They help to create the illusion that you've got more curves in that area than you actually do. They feel really good on too.
A Square-Shaped Butt Needs Bikini Cut Panties
A square-shaped butt is basically one that looks like it could be an H-shape from behind. The kind of panties that are flattering for this particular body type are bikinis because they are able to provide full coverage in the back yet the V-cut in the front can offer up a hint of curve.
Garter Belts Are Good for a Long Torso
Do you happen to have a really long torso? If so, something that will look truly breathtaking on you is a garter belt. Since it's a belt that goes around your waist and connects to stockings or knee-high socks, it will put your partner's focus on how your waist and legs seem to never end. In the best way possible.
Black Is Slimming
It's no secret that black is very slimming, so if that's something that you're after, black will never do you wrong. What I like about it in the way of lingerie, though, is it gives a hint of mystery. And when you don't know quite what's to come, the allure of that can be a huge turn-on.
Red Is AMAZING on Black Skin
I think when it comes to lingerie, getting pieces in your man's favorite color is certainly a great way to go. However, hue-wise, a color that can never go wrong for any Black woman is red. It just tends to pop whether you're a caramel, gingerbread or Godiva chocolate kind of girl. And since red symbolizes things like passion, love, desire, confidence and sexuality—how could you possibly go wrong with it? EVER.
Bright Top/Dark Bottom Will Make Your Top Look Bigger
Optical illusions can actually be a lot of fun, even when it comes to lingerie. For instance, if you want the top part of your body to appear larger and the bottom half of you to look smaller, go with a lingerie set that is light on the top and dark on the bottom. If you want the opposite effect, flip it. (The same point goes for patterns vs. solids in lingerie pieces too.)
Satin Gives Good Coverage
One more. Lace. Organza. Polyester blends. Silk. Organic cotton. These are some of the popular fabrics that come to mind when I think of lingerie. Yet if you want something that's really seductive and, at same time is "forgiving" when it comes to hiding things like cellulite, satin is always the way to go. It's smooth to look at, soft to the touch and, at the same time, provides a really good amount of coverage so that you can feel confident in whatever piece of lingerie you decide to buy. Now what are you waiting for? Cop a few pieces and blow someone's mind tonight!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images