

I know, right? You would think that this is the kind of topic that doesn't even warrant a full-on article. Yet, the more I thought about my own personal experiences, the kind of conversations that I've had with married couples about it, and a video that I recently watched, it is my personal belief that the answer isn't quite as black-and-white or cut-and-dried as it might appear on the surface. But before I get into all of that, because I know that a lot of people will process, "Should you consider dating someone you're not attracted to?" as "Should you settle for less than what you really want in a relationship?", when it comes to that second question, the answer is "no". Mostly because, as my favorite quote on settling (by writer Maureen Dowd) states, "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for."
Still, I don't really believe that it's an automatic that you should never consider someone that you aren't attracted to. One reason is because initial attraction can lean a bit on the shallow side of things (more on that in a sec). Another reason is because, as a very wise man said in his video entitled, "Attraction vs. Connection: 'Bro, you 'Wifed' the wrong one!'", a lot of us find ourselves in relationships that don't truly satisfy us; it's because we've believed that attraction and connection are one in the same when they absolutely are not (according to him, most men only truly connect with three women over the course of their lifetime, by the way). I tend to agree with him (we'll explore a bit more of his commentary in a moment as well).
Even if you're someone who just read those two paragraphs and still think that if you aren't attracted to a dude, a potential relationship can't go any further, while I'm not trying to change your mind, humor me for a few minutes, will you? At least allow me to offer up a few points that could possibly open up your perspective, just a bit—so that you can know if a lack of initial attraction could be hindering you from establishing a truly powerful and lasting connection with someone.
What Is Attraction Initially All About, Anyway?
Attraction is powerful. There's no questioning that. When I think of all of the men who I've been physically attracted to over the course of my lifetime, this definition of attraction definitely applies—"to draw by a physical force causing or tending to cause to approach, adhere, or unite". That's why it made so much sense to me, what a particular article shared. It was based on research about what men and women are most (initially) attracted to. Reportedly men are drawn to (shocker of all shockers), women who have a nice body while women like men who are taller than they are (I concur). However, the article also stated that when it comes to attributes like intelligence and kindness, those weren't much of a factor. That's because this particular study surveyed almost 70,000 individuals on what they look for in a casual partner not a committed one.
Y'all can check out my piece on casual sex to see that the word "casual" isn't exactly my favorite word in the world. That's because it means things like "without definite or serious intention; careless or offhand; passing", "seeming or tending to be indifferent to what is happening; apathetic; unconcerned" and "without emotional intimacy or commitment". When something is casual, serious intention is not a factor. When something is casual, it's OK to be indifferent or apathetic towards it. When something is casual, there is no real intimacy or commitment involved. Casual kind of reminds me of a man who I am very physically attracted to who is also very physically attracted to me. One time, he asked me what I thought about us having a homie-lover-friend relationship. He's one of those guys who isn't really what I would consider to be a "f—kboy" yet he is a chronic commitment-phobe. Every few years, he gets an exclusive sex partner who he doesn't commit to, even though he only has sex with them. He likes the exclusivity of the sex while still keeping up emotional walls. A ton of people are just like him. It's an epidemic, to tell you the truth.
So yeah, if you're entering into something with someone and your intention is for it to be on the casual tip, of course looks are what's going to matter most to you. You're not trying to establish anything more than physical gratification and maybe a few dates and laughs.
That's why, to me, attraction is like icing on the cake. It's definitely what initially draws two people to one another, but it shouldn't hold a ton of merit. I mean, do you know how many attractive people get blindsided, cheated on and dumped? Tons. Just check out your favorite gossip blog; you'll see all sorts of examples.
So, why does it seem like so many of us put so much stock in attraction? I think that it's because a lot of us put attraction and connection into the same boat when they shouldn't be. This where the video that I referenced earlier comes in. As I was listening to a man who goes by the name Soul Immortal talk about the differences between attraction and connection, here is a part of what he shared:
"So, before we even get into it, there are two things that I want my brothers to understand, right? And the first thing is this—Sex is a byproduct. It's a byproduct of energies that are exchanged. You know what I'm sayin'?
It's just like when gasoline is made. You know, they take crude oil, they take several chemicals, they put it together and they make gasoline. Now when this gasoline is extracted, what's left is diesel fuel. Now diesel fuel is a beautiful thing. But this diesel fuel wouldn't have came to be if it wasn't for the creation of this gasoline, know what I'm sayin'?
So, sex is a byproduct, know what I'm sayin'? And the second thing is, we need to redefine intimacy. Intimacy is not the physical act. Intimacy is the fuel. The physical act is the byproduct…we have to understand that the physical body is only a catalyst. We have to understand that the physical act is only a primer."
So true, so true. A great example that Soul Immortal provided in the video is a friend of his and his wife. Soul Immortal said that when he initially saw the wife for himself, while his friend was what he knew many women would consider to be attractive, to him, the wife was around a six out of 10. But the more he watched his friend and his friend's wife interact with one another, she became a 10 out of 10. It was because they had such a beautiful connection.
I can relate to this. There have been many times when I've looked at a couple and, purely based on looks, I've wondered how one ended up with the other. But that's just based on appearance—the surface of things. I had to open myself up to the fact that clearly there is a connection there. But what makes a connection different from an attraction?
Is Attraction Costing You a True Connection?
A simple way to explain a connection is it's a link with or bond to another individual. I like the word "bond" because it refers to something that holds two people together. Shared principles and values can create a bond. Trust and reliability can create a bond. Individuals who are emotionally present and available for one another can create a bond. Folks who complement one another's lifestyle can create a bond. An article on Psychology Today's website on emotional connections shared that a "yes" to questions like, "When I ask for your attention, can you be available to me?", "Can you comfort me when I am anxious, sad, lonely, or afraid?" and "I need to know that you care about my joys, hurts, and fears. Will you care about me consistently and reliably?" also signifies a real bond. But here's the thing—how can you get to know someone long enough to discover if you are bonded, if all that you're caught up in is physical attraction?
When I reflect on my own relational past, there were two men, specifically, who I most definitely were not attracted to. They were also two of the best men that I've ever known to this day. Kind. Attentive. Patient. Thoughtful. Forgiving. The only reason why I know this about them, though, is because I pushed past the initial lack of physical attraction and got to know them as people. What it ultimately taught me was that there was a connection—it just wasn't meant to be romantic or sexual.
Yeah, that's what a lot of us miss when we're not being open to considering someone who we're not attracted to—we miss that our connection may serve a different purpose than a romantic relationship, if we'd simply give things a chance.
So, what exactly are you saying, Shellie? That you do think that it's important to consider dating someone I'm not attracted to? Kinda. I think what I'm saying more is that, when it comes to someone who is interested in you who you are not attracted to, you should ask yourself the following questions before totally shooting them down:
1. Have you been told that you’re addicted to a specific “type”?
As cliché as it might sound, I really do like men who are tall, dark and handsome. The taller and darker, the better. But you know what? The man I have probably had the healthiest connection with is my late fiancé who was probably around 6'-6'1" (which is kinda short to me) and lighter than I am. When he first let me know that he was interested, I was like, "Yeah…naw." Not because he wasn't attractive, but because I was so hung up on what my type was. Hmph. My first love was "my type" and that negro got me arrested, made another baby while I was pregnant with his child and is one of the biggest commitment-phobes on the planet to this day.
The moral to the story is this. We all have preferences. It's perfectly fine to like what you like. But if you're not open to dating someone because you're not attracted to him, is it because you don't find him appealing at all? Or, is it simply because he's not what you are used to? If it's Column B, well…if all you eat is pizza how would you ever know if you like Thai food? Feel me?
2. Does the way a man looks validate you in some way?
There is a woman I used to know who had the ultimate form of low self-esteem. It's not that she isn't attractive; it's that she didn't feel that she was. And how that revealed itself was pretty cryptic. She would turn down perfectly nice guys who treated her well for the ones who, at least in her mind, were fine as hell—and treated her like dirt. The cycle got to be so much of a hamster wheel in her life that one time I asked her what her deal was. She said that she wanted to be the kind of woman who, whenever she walked into a room with a man, women would envy her. She said it would make her feel more attractive to be with someone who others thought was physically desirable.
If a lot of us were honest with ourselves, we've adopted this warped way of thinking before. Somewhere deep down, we think a good-looking man validates our own beauty. But looks really can be deceiving. Someone who immediately comes to my mind to prove this fact is ex-NFL player Darren Sharper. He's attractive. He's also currently in jail right now for drugging and raping women in various states. And the women I just told you about? The fine men dogged her, the nice men got married, and she's still single.
If you're rejecting someone simply because you don't think they are good enough to "validate" you, that really has very little to do with them and their appearance and more to do with you and your own self-image. And if that's the case, it would be best to be single and get your own self together for a while; to not be out here dating anyone—your type or otherwise.
3. Have you considered that ole’ boy serves a purpose that you can’t see—yet?
It's kind of interesting that, when we're not physically attracted to someone, sometimes we can repel them as if they've got some sort of plague or something. You like me, I'm not interested. Please stop talking to me. But y'all, one of my closest friends is someone who used to be attracted to me, although I was never attracted to him. Had I left it at that, I wouldn't have the blessings in my life that come as the direct result of him being a part of my world.
Not everyone is meant to be "the one". But there are a lot of people who do serve a purpose in our life. If a guy is interested in you and the only reason that you're considering not going out with him is because you're not physically attracted, you could be missing out on him becoming a part of your life for other reasons. But hey, you won't ever know this if all you're thinking about is attraction without factoring in connection. This brings me to my final question and point.
4. C’mon. What would just one date hurt?
If you check out "My Eureka Moment For Why I'm Not Into 'Nice Guys'", you'll see that I get what it's like for someone to like you, for others to like that person for you, only for you to convince yourself to go against your better judgment and then later regret it. So, please hear me when I say that I am not like the church ladies who say, "Who cares if he repulses you? Chile, you might be missing out on your husband." Look, I am a huge fan of sex, marital coitus more than anything, and you can't enjoy that if you're not attracted to your partner. I would scream that point at the top of my lungs if I could.
At the same time, happily married people tell me all of the time that, while their spouse is not someone who initially caught their eye, by going on a few dates and getting to know them better, they ended up becoming the most beautiful, interesting and sexy person they've ever known. They wouldn't have found this out without going on a first date.
It took a hot minute to get us here, but the title of the article is a question, right? My answer is this—in my opinion, should you consider dating someone you aren't attracted to? If we can change "dating" for "going on a date", the answer is a firm "yes". One date is just that…one date. And who knows? By stepping out and spending quality time with that individual, you just might discover that you're more attracted to them than you thought. That they are someone you could be connected to. All because you went past the surface and looked for something deeper. Good for you, girl. Good. For. You.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
7 Ways To Have An Incredible First Date
Why We Love Men Who Are Absolutely No Good For Us
Unpopular Opinion: Men And Women CAN Really Be "Just Friends"
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Lizzo Talks Confidence: 'I Love The Person I've Become Through It All & I Think That's The Real Prize'
Lizzo is reflecting on her healing journey while giving the girls advice about confidence. The "Truth Hurts" singer has faced unfair criticism throughout her career for being a plus-size woman who embraces her curves. However, she recently went through a body transformation, which she calls a "weight release," and was criticized yet again.
But through it all, we've seen her hold her head high and continue to collect checks and awards. Lizzo stopped by The Breakfast Club recently and opened up about self-love, confidence, and healing.
When co-host Charlamagne Tha God asked Lizzo the difference between confidence and healing, The "Still Bad" artist replied, "I think people can fake confidence, but you can't fake healing. You can't be fake healed."
Lizzo explained how faking confidence can actually help you in the long run. "There's a lot of people who walk around and they can pretend to be confident and actually, I think that's what confidence's intention is, is to be used a little artificially. The fake it to you make," she said.
"Then, eventually you get there because my confidence, I had to force it. I had to fake it for a long time because I didn't grow up in a world where they were like, 'you're beautiful' and 'your body is beautiful' and 'we like you,' 'we like your personality.' 'Yeah, you watch anime and listen to rock music, we accept you.'
I was very like 'other' and I think I had to be like, 'no, you are good enough,' 'you are worthy of love,' 'your body is beautiful,' even when I didn't believe it. I think that eventually, if you say something enough, it can come true. You can manifest it, you can create your reality and I think I got there by faking it."
When it comes to dealing with negativity, Lizzo is learning to let the not so nice comments roll off her back and give grace. "People are as kind to others as they are to themselves and if somebody is throwing hatred or saying something mean-spirited about somebody, just for the sake of doing it, I can't imagine how you talk to yourself," she said. I can't imagine how you think about yourself and treat yourself when no one's watching and for that, Ive already won."
She added, "I love the person I've become through it all and I think that's the real prize. That's the real reward."
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