

There's not a single person on this planet who doesn't have bouts of dry skin from time to time. But if you're the type of person where it seems like, no matter what you do (or don't do), your skin can never retain moisture, this is an article that you'll want to check out.
As far as the main reasons why dry skin tends to be such an issue, it's usually due to there being a lack of moisture in the air, your skin's pH balance being off or the weather's temperature being extremely hot or cold. Some people also battle with dry skin due to a genetic condition where they are unable to create enough filaggrin; it's a protein that helps to keep your skin healthy and hydrated.
The Best Things To Do To Relieve Dry Skin
Keeping all of this in mind, along with reading some tips on how to keep moisture in your skin, may just be what gets you on the road to never having to spell d-r-y on your arm ever again. Are you ready for soft and supple skin, no matter what?
1. Use a Water-Based Moisturizer
If your skin is dry, something that it definitely needs is hydration. While I'm personally someone who prefers to "seal my skin" (which is basically applying a carrier oil like sweet almond or coconut oil to my skin, right after getting out of the shower and before toweling off), if you prefer to go with a moisturizer, make sure that it's one that is water-based (which means that water will be the first or second ingredient on the label). It will help to provide your skin with the moisture that it needs while also shielding it from dry-out-factors like pollution and UV rays.
2. Avoid Really Hot Showers
Whew. There really is nothing better than standing in a hot shower for, shoot, as long as you can possibly stand it. Problem is, hot water is one of the main things that can really dry your skin out because it breaks down your skin's natural oils; then, the cleanser that you apply actually washes the oil off. That's why it's actually better to wash yourself in water that is warm. Oh, and make sure to limit your showers to 10-15 minutes. It's also better for your skin and, as a bonus, your water bill will decrease a good 15 percent or so each month too.
3. Nix the Soap
Speaking of stripping away natural oils, something else that will definitely do that is soap—this includes deodorant soap or perfume soap. If you just read that and was like, "OK, but a sistah absolutely needs to use something", I hear you. Just make sure that you go with a product that is soap-free. What exactly is that? The Reader's Digest version answer is it's the kind of cleanser that contains a mixture of sodium hydroxide, natural fats, and oils that all work together to keep your skin soft and smooth. Some soap-free commercial brands that immediately come to mind include Cetaphil, Aveeno, and CeraVe.
4. Wash Your Clothes with Fragrance-Free Products
While my skin has never really been super dry, something that I did notice was, whenever I used a detergent that was fragrance-free, my skin seemed to itch less and the moisture in my skin seemed to last longer. That would actually make sense on the heels of what I just shared about soap, right? Listen, you've got clothes on for half the day and then you get into your bed for at least another 6-8 hours (if you're lucky). For your skin's sake, it's important that you make sure to wash your stuff in a product that has as little chemicals in it as possible. If you wanna check out a list of hypoallergenic laundry detergents that will work for your skin and not against it,The Spruce features a list of 13 that will totally have your back.
5. DIY a Rosewater Spritz
A really simple way to make your skin look like it's glowing, no matter what time of year it is, is to apply some rosewater to it. Rosewater helps your skin to maintain its pH balance level (a healthy level is 5.5, by the way. When it gets to be around 7, the top layer of your skin starts to experience damage). Rosewater contains anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties that help to soothe and heal dry skin, as well as treat eczema and psoriasis. Rosewater also has astringent compounds that help it to serve as a wonderful skin toner. Plus, rosewater deeply hydrates your skin so that fine lines remain at bay and your skin feels soft to the touch, all day long. If you'd like to make your own spritz, so that you can carry it in your purse everywhere you go, click here for how to make homemade rosewater and here for how to add it to a DIY spritz.
6. Ease Up on the Alcohol
Alcohol is great; especially in a year like 2020 (lawd). At the same time, if keeping your skin hydrated is a goal of yours, you've gotta push the wine glass (or beer bottle or cocktail) back a little more. The reason why is because alcoholic drinks are actually pretty dehydrating. The backstory on why is because alcohol contains an anti-diuretic hormone called vasopressin which actually absorbs water from our organs. So, if you must, try and only have like a glass or two of alcohol a day and follow it up with two glasses of water.
7. Eat Some Omega-3 Foods
Last year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "These Foods Will Give Your Skin & Hair The Moisture They Crave". It featured a list of 10 different foods (and drinks) that can help to bring moisture to your skin (and your locks). Well, if you're someone whose skin seems to be extra dry, no matter what you do, it's definitely a good idea to amp up your omega-3 fatty acid intake. Aside from the fact that omega-3 can help to reduce depression and anxiety-related symptoms, improve your vision, decrease your chances of getting heart disease, fight inflammation and also make autoimmune diseases easier to handle, it's also really good at improving your skin cells' ability to contain water, so that your skin stays well-hydrated. Some foods that are high in omega-3 include salmon, walnuts, flaxseed oil, kidney beans and seaweed.
8. Drink More Water
I'm pretty sure you've heard somewhere before that your body is made up of around 60 percent water. What you might not know, though, is your blood consists of a whopping 90 percent of good ole' H2O. This is why it's so important to drink at least 6-8 glasses of water a day. Doing so will help to detox your system, give your body (more) oxygen, lubricate your joints, help you to produce more saliva (which reduces tooth decay), regulate your body temperature, help your body to better digest food (which contains nutrients) and, it hydrates your skin—and that's just the tip of the iceberg!
The reality is, no matter how much you do the rest of what I've already shared, it's not gonna matter much if all you drink is juice or soda. Pure water will do your body good, on so many levels and for so many reasons. Healthy and glowing skin is just one reason to drink it on a regular basis.
9. Buy a Humidifier
To tell you the truth, whether you've got uber-dry skin or not, it's well worth your time and resources to invest in a humidifier. It helps to provide extra moisture to your vocal cords. It helps to soothe your sinuses. It can help to stop the flu virus that may be lurking around in your home in its tracks (because the virus doesn't thrive as much in high humidity). It can reduce snoring (because it helps to keep your nose from getting congested). And, it definitely is great at moisturizing your skin and lips. So, if you want a way to help your skin out as you sleep, turning a humidifier on (at around 60 percent), is a really effective way to do it.
10. “Cream Up” Before Bedtime
If it seems like your hands and feet are the two areas that dry out the most, you can pamper them by covering them up with a potent moisturizer and then covering them up with some socks or "in-house gloves" (ones that are made out of a light fabric that you only wear indoors) at night. While some people do this by applying petroleum jelly, I'm a much bigger fan of shea butter. Not only does it contain powerful anti-inflammatory, anti-aging, and healing properties but shea butter has emollient compounds as well.
What that means is it soaks into your skin to provide a barrier to keep moisture for hours on end. If you've got a scar, skin discoloration or super dry skin, shea butter can be just what you need. It's one of my favorite ways to pamper my skin and keep it smooth as silk, no doubt about it.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Be Careful. Those Casual Friendships Can Be Red Flags Too.
A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to someone vent about an area of frustration that they couldn’t seem to get to the root of — why they keep getting taken advantage of by certain individuals. When you’ve been a life coach for as long as I have (and you were a journalist before that), you learn how to ask certain questions that can cause people to consider things that they may never have before.
So, when I asked her, “What is the common thread with all of those folks? And sit still for two minutes before answering,” when she finally heard her own self speak, her eyes got wide and her mouth dropped open: “They’re all people who I’m not really sure what they are in my life.”
Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
There’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
A couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
I’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
____
I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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