

When you were growing up, I'm thinking it's pretty safe to assume that you were taught to brush and floss your teeth after every meal. Now that you're grown, be real—do you still do that? After each and every meal? While we're on the subject, do you also brush for no less than two minutes? Each and every time?
I did some digging around and it would appear that only 44 percent of men and 37 percent of women actually brush at least twice a day and 30 percent of us floss every day. This means there are millions out of us out here who are on the way to having weak teeth, dingy enamel and stank breath (if we don't have these things already). And let's not even get into how many of us don't see the dentist as much as we should (word on the street is it's 1 out of every 3 three who skip out on annual visits).
Once our big girl teeth come in, we're not going to get another set. That's why it's imperative that we're as proactive about caring for our biters. Yes, this should include brushing, flossing and taking that semi-dreadful visit to the dentist every year. But it also includes doing some things at home that will help to make our teeth stronger and whiter too.
10 All-Natural Teeth Whitening & Strengthening Tips
1.Baking Soda and Hydrogen Peroxide
Not all of us have sparkling white teeth. Not because we don't take good care of them, but because they aren't a part of our genetic make-up. But if the enamel on your teeth is dingier than normal, it could be due to consuming lots of coffee and soda, eating too much sugar, breathing through your mouth instead of your nose (dry mouth leads to more bacteria), long-term antibiotic use and aging.
A way to get your teeth back bright again? Brushing them with a mixture of baking soda and hydrogen peroxide. The baking soda is effective because the grittiness of it serves as a kind of tooth exfoliant. Also, the bicarbonate that's in the soda helps to balance out the acids that can sometimes cause oral bacteria to thrive, ultimately leading to gingivitis and bad breath. Hydrogen peroxide whitens teeth due to its ability to penetrate past your teeth's enamel so that it can lighten the discoloration that keeps them from gleaming.
Here's a heads up—I know for a fact that the combo works really well. But because it's also pretty abrasive on teeth, it's best to only brush with this kind of paste no more than a couple of times a week. Otherwise, eventually, you could wear some of your enamel down. And enamel isn't something you can simply "get back".
2.Teeth Strengthening Foods
All of us want to have healthy teeth, but not all of us know what the signs of those are. When your teeth are strong and white—your gums won't bleed (including when you brush them), your breath will be fresh (which is why you should floss after every meal), your teeth won't shift, your gums won't recede and your tongue will be a healthy shade of pink (make sure to brush your tongue, by the way!).
No matter what you may put on your teeth, it's still important that you take care of them from the inside out. One of the best ways to do that is to consume foods that are proven to keep your teeth nice and strong. Ones that are high in calcium (like cheese and yogurt), high in magnesium (like leafy greens and pears), full of live probiotic cultures (like sauerkraut and kefir) and loaded with antifungal, antiviral and antibacterial (like garlic), along with bone broth and butter.
Speaking of butter, it is loaded with vitamins A, vitamin D, and vitamin K2. Some people love it so much when it comes to taking care of their teeth that they even brush with it (pastured, cultured butter is best)!
3.DIY Mouthwash
Alcohol, fluoride, sodium saccharin, sodium lauryl sulfate and cetylpyridinium chloride are just five of the ingredients that are listed on the label of a lot of commercial mouthwash brands. What do they all have in common? They're toxic.
Deciding to make your own mouthwash so that you're able to control the kind of ingredients that are in it is one good reason to do it. Another is because, when you put ingredients in it like calcium carbonate and concentrated trace minerals liquid powder, not only can they help to remineralize your teeth (which is great if your teeth are showing the beginning signs of tooth decay), it can help to whiten your teeth too. You can try a really great DIY mouthwash recipe here.
4.Strawberries
Strawberries taste great (especially when they are in season which is April through June)! So great that it's kind of a trip how many nutritional benefits they contain. Eating a fresh bowl of strawberries a couple of times a week provides you with lots of antioxidants, potassium, and fiber. Strawberries also have the ability to do everything from improving the health of your heart and fighting precancerous cells to strengthening your eyes, giving your immune system a boost and reducing your blood pressure.
Know what else strawberries can do? Whiten your teeth! Although strawberries are really red in color, they contain a tooth-whitening enzyme called malic acid. It, plus the seeds that are on the strawberries, help to basically exfoliate the stains off of your teeth.
The best way to use strawberries is to mush 1-2 of them and a half teaspoon of baking soda to it. Then brush your teeth like normal, making sure to rinse thoroughly when you're done. It's effective but try not to do this more than once a week; the acid and the baking soda could eventually become too strong for your teeth if you do it more than that.
5.Green Tea
Green tea is loaded with antioxidants, polyphenols (a compound that reduces body inflammation) and EGCG (Epigallocatechin Gallate), which is a compound that fights off disease. That's not all. The amino acid L-theanine that's in the tea helps to improve your brain function, the caffeine that's in it can increase your metabolism and burn fat and some studies even reveal that green tea can boost longevity.
The crystalline compound known as catechins that's also in green tea is great for oral health. That's because it kills the kind of bacteria that causes the flu and streptococcus mutans—a bacteria that results in tooth decay and cavities. So yeah, drink up.
6.Phosphorus
Phosphorus is the kind of mineral that a lot of us don't give much thought to, but it's very essential to our overall health and well-being. It assists with bone growth, eliminates toxins, reduces fatigue, helps to prevent arthritis, repairs cells, balances hormones and supports tooth enamel too.
You can take phosphorus as a supplement. But unless you've got an illness, probably the best way to get this mineral into your system is to consume foods that contain a good amount of it. Some of those include mushrooms, quinoa, oatmeal, yogurt, salmon, cheese, tuna, potatoes (with the skin on), cheese and even (cooked) waffles.
7.Oil Pulling
If you've never done a little oil pulling before, try it sometime. Out of all of the things that I shared, I can definitely vouch for how clean this process will make your teeth feel! Oil pulling is an Ayurvedic medicine practice that consists of putting a little coconut, sesame or even sunflower oil into your mouth and swishing it around for about 10-15 minutes before spitting it out. It works so well because these kinds of oils have the ability to remove plaque and toxins without damaging your teeth in the process.
Out of all the oils you can try, organic coconut oil is my preference, thanks to the antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties that are in it. Just make sure to NOT spit the oil out into your sink (it could clog it up over time; use your trash can instead) and that you rinse thoroughly with warm water and brush your teeth immediately following the oil pulling process. That will get rid of any oil residue that's left behind.
8.Orange Peels
The next time you decide to peel an orange, rather than throwing its skin away, eat it. No, seriously! There's plenty of research to support that orange (and lemon) peels contain a flavonoid called hesperidin that will strengthen your immune system, help your body to digest food quicker and easier, protect your respiratory system, increase weight loss and yep, you guessed it—improve your oral health.
First, chewing down on orange peels will whiten your teeth and freshen your breath. As a bonus, it can also decrease teeth sensitivity over time too. Just always keep in mind that due to the high acidic content that are in the peels, you should only do this 1-2 times a week and you should also rinse your mouth out with water right after you do it. Otherwise, you could eventually end up weakening the enamel that's on your teeth.
9.Clove Oil
Do your entire body a favor and, the next time you're at Wal-Mart (or you're perusing Amazon), cop a couple of bottles of clove oil. It's got quite a bit of manganese oil in it (30 percent of your reference daily intake). This is relevant because manganese is a mineral that regulates blood sugar levels, fights PMS symptoms, balances the thyroid, boosts vitamin absorption and even helps to prevent epileptic seizures (which usually come on, in part, by a low level of manganese in one's system).
As far as your teeth and gums go, manganese also helps to keep your teeth healthy and strong. Plus, its potent antibacterial properties are one of the best ways to kill the bacteria that cause gum disease. Also, if you've got a toothache or even a cavity that you can't get immediately treated by your dentist, nothing is quite as soothing as clove oil. It's strong (and that's a major understatement), but I've used it before to relieve pain and it provides an almost immediate numbing sensation that helped me to get an uninterrupted night of sleep. (If you've ever had a toothache before, you know just how much of a blessing that is!)
10. Kissing
A kiss from a great kisser is like nothing else on this earth! And while most of us like to focus on the physical sensation and emotional connection that it provides, let's talk about another thing that is happening every time we share a smooch—all of the spit that is going back and forth.
Since our mouths are, hands down, the dirtiest part of our bodies, that's something to think about before you let someone put their tongue down your throat (just sayin'). But once you know your partner's oral hygiene is on the up and up, their extra saliva getting into your mouth will actually help to kill bacteria, wash away debris and raise calcium, fluoride and phosphate ions while producing disease-fighting bacteria that keeps gingivitis at bay.
Pretty crazy, huh? Yet just one more reason to pucker up, just as soon as you can!
Featured image by Getty Images.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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What Is A Mother Wound? Signs You May Have One & How To Heal
I didn’t know I had a mother wound until my therapist named it for me.
I had been describing a pattern of emotional unavailability in my choice of partners as a commonality between them. I told him how there was often a physical presence but also one paired with an emotional distance. I expressed that I felt inclined to be the "reasonable" one in my relationships. Easy to love, eager to please, emotionally contained. He gently gave me language, but some I wasn’t expecting: “It sounds like a mother wound.” That statement helped me connect so many dots, but at the same time, I asked him, "But, how?"
My mother is there for me. My mother is a home for me. My mother loves me. What I learned was that a mother wound doesn’t always have to come from abuse, neglect, or other forms of toxicity. Sometimes it comes from a very human mother who is doing her best in all of the ways you could ever ask her to and even in ways you couldn’t, but one who is also emotionally unavailable, overly critical, or dependent on you to meet her needs. (Parentification, party of one.)
My mother wound took form not because she was unloving, but because she was often emotionally unavailable. As a single mother of three and a mother to countless others working in education, she carried the weight of everything. And while I’ve always admired her strength and loved her deeply, I now understand that some of my emotional patterns were shaped by the love I craved but didn’t always feel. She is an amazing mother, and I still have a mother wound. I hold space for both truths because they both deserve space.
If you’ve ever struggled with the ability to self-soothe, people-pleasing, low self-worth, or emotional boundaries, your mother wound may still be calling the shots in your life and your adult relationships. To learn more about what the mother wound is, how it shows up, and how to start healing it, keep reading.
What Is a Mother Wound?
A mother wound refers to the behavioral patterns, emotional pain, and belief systems derived from the relationships we have with our mothers or maternal figures. It's an attachment wound that is not always caused by overt harm. Sometimes mother wounds stem from emotional absence or a lack of emotional support, criticism, passive-aggression, control, co-dependency, or a feeling that you had to earn love by being self-sacrificing or self-sufficient, "easy," or helpful.
The wound is less about pointing fingers at who to blame and more about having awareness around where your needs were left unmet, and how that impacted the way you show up in the world.
Trauma Integration Coach Ally described the impact of such a wound perfectly. In an Instagram caption, she wrote, "When there has been mother wounding, the heart defends itself and tries to close. Our whole system lives in a state of contraction and unsafety, depleted of love, nurturance, and connection."
That "state of contraction and unsafety" she refers to can look like:
- Feeling emotionally guarded, even with people you love
- Struggling to trust your needs or believe you’re allowed to take up space
- Over-functioning in relationships or assuming the role of caregiver/fixer
- Having chronically anxious or hyper-independent nervous system states (i.e., never letting yourself rest or receive)
While these patterns are often unconscious, they have the potential to quietly shape everything, from your self-worth to your romantic relationships.
The Types of Mother Wounds
5 Types of Mother Wounds You Should Know About
While everyone's experience is unique to them, some types of mother wounds show up more commonly than others. According to The Mother Wound Project, there are seven types of mother wounds, but I've also seen sources that say they are as many as 15. Because mother wounds are complex and can originate from different behaviors experienced in a mother-child relationship, it is possible to have multiple types of mother wounds depending on the parent.
To begin healing your mother wound(s), it is helpful to identify the type of mother wound you may be carrying and how it might be playing out in your life today. Check out a few of the more common ones below.
The Abandonment Wound
If your mother was physically or emotionally unavailable, or even absent from your life altogether, you might have an abandonment wound. Perhaps she worked a lot, struggled with her own mental health, or was unable to attune to your emotional needs. As a result, you might have felt unheard, unseen, or like your feelings weren't important.
How it manifests:
- Attracting unavailable or avoidant partners
- Struggling to ask for help or trust others
- Having a fear of rejection, or like you're "too much"
The Criticism Wound
If your mother had impossibly high expectations for you, was overly critical, or was a perfectionist who wanted you to follow suit, it's possible you internalized a harsh inner critic. Love might have felt conditional, like it had to be earned through success by way of accomplishments, accolades, and achievements, or through being compliant, easy, or needless.
How it manifests:
- Feeling like you're not "doing enough," not now, not ever
- Struggling with impostor syndrome or chronic self-doubt
- Fearing you might make the "wrong" choice, or that you'll fail
The Enmeshment Wound
For many with mother wounds, it’s not just about what was lacking or missing, but instead how closely they were tied to their mother’s emotional world. This is where emotional enmeshment enters the chat. This can look like little to no emotional separation between you and your mother, where boundaries between the two of you become so blurred that you don't know where her needs and feelings end and where yours begin.
If you felt responsible for your mother’s mood, well-being, comfort, or approval as a child, you might have an enmeshment wound.
How it manifests:
- Feeling guilty when setting boundaries
- People-pleasing in relationships or anxious attachment
- Difficulty when deciphering what it is you want in life (Read: "Living Your Best Life Actually Looks Like Decentering Your Mother")
The Emotional Neglect Wound
A quieter wound, but felt nonetheless. An emotional neglect wound develops when your emotional needs are constantly overlooked, minimized, or rarely fully acknowledged. Your mother might have been there physically or provided for you through material things, but she rarely asked you how you felt, let alone validated your emotions or created space for vulnerability.
How it manifests:
- Feeling like your feelings are a burden instead of a gift
- Difficulty expressing your emotions or naming them
- Feelings of emptiness or disconnection even in close relationships
The Invalidation Wound
If you grew up feeling like your experiences, perceptions, or feelings were belittled, you're not alone. You're one of many with an invalidation wound. This type of wound originates from having your reality dismissed or constantly questioned. Your feelings could have been labeled as "dramatic," your truths might have been denied or invalidated, and your experiences might have been minimized.
With time, this behavioral pattern impacts you by causing deep confusion around what you believe you are "allowed" to feel and your overall sense of self.
How it manifests:
- Struggling with conflict or trusting your voice
- Second-guessing your instincts or questioning your reality
- Feeling gaslit even in safe relationships
How to Heal Your Mother Wound
As previously mentioned, healing a mother wound is not about blaming your mother, it’s about tending to the parts of you that didn’t get what they needed way back when. It’s about creating emotional safety, clarity, and self-connection, often for the first time. And you don't need anyone's permission to do it, just the courage to start. Here’s where to begin:
1. Acknowledge what you needed but didn't get: You're allowed to name the emotional gaps that were and are still very real for you. And you're allowed to do so without guilt. Awareness is the first step in the healing and reclamation of your voice.
2. Self-parent yourself: Speak to yourself with the softness, nurturance, love, and validation you once craved. You can affirm yourself, you can meet your needs, you can reparent your inner child. You can remind yourself that you have the power and you can choose how to go about wielding it. Self-mothering is one of the ways to do this.
3. Set compassionate boundaries: You don't have to cut your mother out of your life if you don't feel called to, but it's important to remember that setting boundaries is about protecting your peace, not punishing your mother. If you need to create some space while choosing peace over performance, do that. And do so with compassion.
4. Hold your grief without shame: Even if your mother did her best, you're allowed to grieve the mother you wished you had. Honor that loss as the act of liberation it is.
5. Redefine what mothering looks like to you: Yes, you're every woman, and it's all in you, but we weren't born to do life alone, hence the need for love and connection. If your mother can't meet those needs, open yourself up to receiving love from other places and sources.
Let yourself be nurtured by friendships, chosen family, therapy, and nature. You're worth it.
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Featured image by Shutterstock