Jasmine Jordan On Running The Jordan Brand Empire & Leaving A Legacy Of Her Own

"As soon as I get back to Chicago, I'm definitely getting some Lou Malnati's Pizza or something," Jasmine Jordan confesses.
Currently quarantining from her home in Charlotte, North Carolina, the Chi-town native speaks of better days when the coronavirus no longer confines us to our couches. She's not complaining though. The newly-engaged mom is appreciating the trips that were traded in for some much-needed family time. "I could go for a deep-dish pizza right now."
OK, so maybe she craves just a little bit of normalcy.
But normal looks a little different for the daughter of a basketball legend. And though her life may seem predestined, Jordan is determined to build a legacy that lives beyond that of her father's accomplishments. After all, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She's a star in her own right.
DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL IS MORE THAN A PRINCESS.
Born and raised in the Windy City, she lived a life of both sunny skies and winter storms. Growing up in the lap of luxury afforded her a privileged life that she certainly doesn't deny, but her parents made sure that she was aware of life on the other side. Grandma's house on Wallace Street gave her a taste of the Southside talked about in headlines.
"[My mom] was like it's not about a scare tactic or anything like that, you just need to know how the world is around you," says Jordan, reminiscing on days of family visits where pops would play ball in the backyard with the neighborhood kids. "It felt like home. No matter what we did behind those gates, we knew we're still a part of this community. They made sure that we knew how life was around us so we never felt like we were in a bubble or sheltered, and never felt like we couldn't connect and relate to other people that look like us because of our economic backgrounds."
At Loyola Academy, a predominately white private school where wealth wasn't uncommon, Jordan was welcomed as the heiress to the throne. But she wanted to be known for something more than her pedigree. "My father is my father. He has his fame and he's built his empire and brand, but at the end of the day those are his accomplishments," she says. "Do I reap the benefits of it being his daughter? Absolutely. But I have no right to claim those things, and I never do because those are his accomplishments. I'm his daughter and I'm still going to make a name and do whatever I need to do so people can see me for me."

Courtesy of Jasmine Jordan
"My father is my father. He has his fame and he's built his empire and brand, but at the end of the day those are his accomplishments. Do I reap the benefits of it being his daughter? Absolutely. But I have no right to claim those things, and I never do because those are his accomplishments. I'm his daughter and I'm still going to make a name and do whatever I need to do so people can see me for me."
When she transitioned to public school during her junior year, however, titles and worldly treasures no longer held rank amongst her new group of friends. "They're not checking for my bank account. They're not checking for my last name. They're trying to see, all right, can you hang with us? You know, do you know how we go off? Do you know our background? And my thing is, I may not have grown up on the streets or anything like that, but I'm fully aware of it. I'm a well-rounded individual and that's critical."
Living in both worlds gave her the confidence to own her privilege and simultaneously embrace her people. While life at home was much different than the one at school, moving amongst her peers where she wasn't defined by who her parents were allowed her to become her own woman.
"We knew we were fortunate. We are blessed, but we aren't different. Once you remove those materials factors away then you realize that I'm just Jasmine. I'm just me."
SHE'S DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL BUT ALSO A GROWN A** WOMAN.
And as an executive of the Jordan Brand, the 27-year-old boss chick is helping to run an empire, working as the liaison between the Jordan Brand and its respective athletes. From ensuring the players get their footwear and apparel to ball in style to coordinating efforts for photoshoots and media appearances, Jordan often takes on the role of a mama bear protecting her young, many of which aren't too far off in age.
"Being their representative and making sure that they are representing the brand as well, I'm going to be super protective about them and make sure they're comfortable and make sure that they're being heard in different settings," she says. "I just want to make sure that my athletes and whoever I'm working with or having meetings with are comfortable in that setting as we get the job done, and whatever that entails. [I want to] make sure we execute at the highest level."
As a Black woman in a male-dominated industry, Jordan is fighting for her own voice just as much as those of her athletes.
And as the oldest, female sports representative for the Jordan Brand, all eyes are on her, and expectations are set high. Not to mention the fact that her father's a legend. That's pressure on another level of pressure. "I'm getting hit left and right with all these expectations, but I don't run from them. I embrace it because at the end of the day, if I can pave the way for more Black women to get into this industry, then I'm doing my job."

Courtesy of Jasmine Jordan
"I'm getting hit left and right with all these expectations, but I don't run from them. I embrace it because at the end of the day, if I can pave the way for more Black women to get into this industry, then I'm doing my job."
A 2014 graduate of Syracuse University with a degree in sports marketing, Jordan hit the ground running just three days after graduation working as the coordinator of Basketball Operations for the Charlotte Hornets, where she stayed for four seasons before moving on to the Jordan Brand. She credits the job for giving her the business etiquette required in her role today.
"A lot of my communications outside of the athletes were with the teams or colleges, so it was a lot of emails," she recounts. "It really took me out of my element. I'm a people person, I like to talk on the phone or see you and engage with you in person and knowing that I couldn't connect with the colleges or the reps from other NBA teams on a consistent basis outside of email was definitely hard. So, I definitely loved the fact that I had to really sit down at a computer for eight or nine hours out of the day and constantly engage that way and make sure that they still felt my personality or my words through the emails I was sending."
Despite what naysayers may think, her transition to the Jordan Brand, initially as a Field Representative, was no easy feat. "I'm not checking for people who think I have a handout or assume because it's my father's brand it should be easy for me. I had to go through the same process as everybody else. I had to do interviews, I had to submit resumes, so on and so forth. My work ethic is definitely going to speak for itself."

Courtesy of Jasmine Jordan
"I'm not checking for people who think I have a handout or assume because it's my father's brand it should be easy for me. I had to go through the same process as everybody else. I had to do interviews, I had to submit resumes, so on and so forth. My work ethic is definitely going to speak for itself."
On her first day, she felt like the new girl on campus. Dividing her time between Nike's headquarters in Portland while maintaining relations with the team in Charlotte presented its own set of challenges, and she spent the first few months in her role trying to prove herself, only to learn that there is no "I" in "team". "I didn't reach out and ask for help when doing projects," says Jordan. "At first I was like, I just want to hold everything close to me and master it. I'm going to figure it out and then, boom, I'll present."
That mindset failed her when Kemba Walker, who was known for sporting Air Jordan 32s, expressed that the shoe design was uncomfortable when having to cut and drive to the basket. "Instead of asking the team for the proper language to explain what Kemba was uncomfortable with, I just kept saying, 'No, it's the Achilles; it's hurting him.' So, we had to create like three or four different shoes and none of them were accurate or correct because I wasn't speaking in their language."
Pride often comes before a fall, and her own mistakes led to an understanding that asking questions and learning the designer's lingo would help better translate her requests and reduce inefficiency. "I really had to humble myself and understand it's not that anyone's taking anything from me, it's the fact that we're a family. We're a small organization, Jordan Brand. I've got to look at them as family and not just colleagues, and understand that if one person's down, then we're all down."
SHE'S BUILDING HER OWN LEGACY.
Embracing her new "family" would help her go on to launch the Jordan Heiress collection, complementing the growing line of women-focused sneakers. A sneakerhead and fashion lover herself (her personal collection is well over 500 pairs), Jordan regards the experience as a passion project, echoing the advice of her mentor Jeanie Buss, President of the Los Angeles Lakers, to "make sure you love it and it aligns with your heart and it feels right."
"I wanted it to feel like that rich design and have that texture really feel like it could be a designer shoe like the Louis Vuitton, but it's still true to Jordan and true to our retro story," she says.
It's that love and commitment that has allowed Jordan and the Jordan Brand team to continue to catapult the brand which, according to Forbes, just reached its first billion-dollar quarter after an impressive $3.1 billion in wholesale revenue over the previous fiscal year. "If I can have my work ethic, my accomplishments, and my success on projects outshine the fact that I'm my father's child, then my job is done."

Courtesy of Jasmine Jordan
"If I can have my work ethic, my accomplishments, and my success on projects outshine the fact that I'm my father's child, then my job is done."
Jasmine Jordan's building her own. She's a hustler and a go-getter, just like Mike. But she's also a new mother and a soon-to-be wife to fiancé and NBA player Rakeem Christmas. Both roles she embraces with open arms while carrying the workload of a corporate executive on her shoulders. But no worries, she was built for the league of extraordinary women. Between phone calls and emails from work and the never-ending demands of life at home, she slips in five minutes of prayer and meditation here, a currently self-administered manicure there—moments of stillness that are much welcomed in her busy schedule. Motherhood has taught her to practice patience and peace, lessons that extend from the baby room to the boardroom.
"He's new to this world and he's depending on me—depending on his dad and really just depending on us to figure out how to function and understand what's happening around him, and that takes a lot of patience and being calm and laughing," she admits. "I think those are definitely the things that have really come because of becoming a mother. But I appreciate it because now I'm way more patient and I laugh at almost anything and everything just to shake off whatever I might actually be feeling."
It doesn't escape Jordan that she's also raising a Black son in a world that judges him not by his bank account but by the color of his skin. Success, it turns out, isn't a shield from white supremacists or racism.
"He's only blind because he doesn't even realize what's happening, which is a blessing in disguise," says Jordan. "But it is going to be the conversations that I remember my mom having with my brothers (Jeffrey and Marcus) and just saying like, hey, when you go out in public, make sure you're like 'yes or no sir,' 'yes ma'am no ma'am.' You know, manners and be polite. Don't sag your jeans, things that aren't typical conversations for white people or anybody that's not Black. It's about making sure we've raised him just to be a respectful young man and a respectful individual, but we're going to have to have those additional conversations so he can understand what life is like as a Black man."
For now, the little prince can rest easy knowing that he's well-loved and taken care of, though Jordan is clear that she won't just be handing over the keys to the empire. Like her, he'll have to learn about business beyond that of her family to make sure the bag stays secure. "I'm now working with financial advisors and wealth management programs to truly understand what it is to be a beneficiary of wealth," she says. "It's not just about getting money and being able to spend it, you want to make sure that money outgrows and outlives you."
For five Sundays in a row, millions of viewers tuned in to watch The Last Dance, which documented the life and the legacy of her father. But Jasmine Jordan's own story is just getting started, and she's already proving that she's just as worthy of the spotlight.
For more of Jasmine, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Jasmine Jordan.
Your December 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Surrender & Alignment
December is about letting go. We end the year with the need for more peace, reflection, and rejuvenation, and that is exactly what December is providing for us. The Sun is in Sagittarius, and anything is possible. This is the month to believe in that and to know that the universe is supporting you. With a Supermoon in Gemini as we begin the month as well, we have an opportunity to gain the closure we have been looking for this year and to wrap up old projects, ideas, and communication breakthroughs.
This is the month to make your peace the priority and let go of trying to control the way the tides are turning. Trust in your new beginning, and give yourself time to prepare for it this month.
A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Do You Expect Others To Read Your Mind? Here's The Problem With That.
Omniscience. If someone were to offer you $100 right this second for the definition of that word, could you immediately provide it? If you’re not sure, basically omniscience is about being able to know everything — and to those who believe in God, only he is given that honor. For those who believe in Satan? Not even he is omniscient (as much as he would like people to think otherwise).
Sometimes, it might feel that otherwise because some beings and even people are truly masterful when it comes to reading body language, observing patterns, and picking up on cues. Still, no matter how much it might seem like someone can read someone else’s mind, they can’t. It is literally impossible — and I will briefly expound on that in just a moment.
Oh, but there are plenty of people whose egos have them thinking that they can read someone else’s mind. Then there are others who have fantasies, which create unrealistic expectations that others in their lives actually should read their mind. And you know what — both of these things can cause unnecessary stress, drama, and trauma, if folks aren’t careful.
And that’s why I think it’s important that we unpack this a bit more. Because if you’re someone who thinks that if another person truly cares for you, they should be able to read your mind, it’s time to let that ridiculous yet semi-popular notion absolutely and completely go.
Here’s why.
It’s Scientifically Impossible for Someone to Read Your Mind
There are a couple of reasons why I am starting this off with R&B singer Avant. For one thing, I don’t think that he gets nearly enough flowers and secondly, clearly, this is a more-than-fitting song for today’s topic, wouldn’t you say? Because, lawd, there really is something that makes some of us feel all warm ‘n fuzzy about the mere thought of a man telling us that he is so in tuned with us that he can basically read our mind.
Hmph. Problem with that is, as I said in the intro, it is scientifically impossible (for us and for AI to do, praise the Lord!). And yet the fact that so many individuals think that they defy scientific data and research is oftentimes why there are so many breakdowns in communication — because if you run on assumption (that you can read someone’s mind) without clarification and confirmation, you can create issues that didn’t exist before you decided to fall for your own mind-reading theories.
Now to be fair, while science is still trying to figure out why we can’t read minds, what is sure is that we do have the capability to perceive the thoughts and actions of others if we’re willing to pay really close attention. However, do keep in mind that reading and perceiving are different. Reading? It’s about being able "to apprehend or interpret the meaning of" and "to anticipate, expect, or calculate by observation." Perceiving? It’s all about “to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses” and “to recognize, discern, envision, or understand.”
And already, do you see the differences? So much certainty comes with reading while perceiving is about humbling oneself (bookmark that) to not try to know everything but instead to try and understand what is transpiring. And since no one person (or their mind) is ever truly static, that is a huge part of the reason why believing that you can read someone’s mind — no matter how close you may be to them — is futile. You can change your mind on a dime. Others can do the same. Learning to perceive what is going on instead of assuming that you can “read” folks is far more beneficial.
Besides, you might be surprised by a particular demo who thinks that if you are truly who they need you to be, you will read their minds — and boy, once you know who they are, that may cure you of the whole “read your mind” ish…quick, fast and in a hurry.
The Expectation Is Oftentimes Rooted in Egomania
GiphyWhile doing a bit of research on this topic, I thought it was interesting that a particular type of person kept coming up. Can you guess which one? A NARCISSIST. What I kept noticing is a telling sign of a narcissistic individual is they expect others to read their mind.
I must admit that I was caught off guard by that at first because narcissists and their damn egos are so out of control (bookmark that) that it would seem like they would be more focused on acting like they know the thoughts of other people. Here’s the thing, though — the reason why narcissists want others to read their mind is because they want you to do things like guess what they want and need before they ask — and they want that to happen because they believe that they are so damn special that you should put in the extra blood, sweat and tears to figure it all out. Hmph. Now that tracks.
Another reason why narcissists want you to be able to read their mind is so they can manipulate and deflect. Meaning, if you say and do things based on what you thought they wanted you to, should everything crash and burn, they can dodge accountability and blame you for it. Hmm, does reading someone’s mind seem romantic and beautiful now? SMDH.
And again, all of this is tied to ego because, at the end of the day, mind-reading is a form of control and narcissists are definitely very controlling people. And honestly, mind-reading is as well because why do you even want to know someone’s private thoughts before they share them and, at the same time, why would you want someone to have that kind of power in your life either? “Eww” is what immediately comes to my mind. “Yuck” is what follows.
So, why is it that so many people think that it’s a good thing to have someone read their mind — I mean, the ones who don’t show narcissistic tendencies, that is? Good question.
5 Reasons Why Some People Wish Someone Would/Could Read Their Mind
GiphyOkay, so ego and pridefulness aside, what would be some other reasons why people think that it’s such a wonderful thing if someone who they are in some sort of intimate relationship with can read their mind.
1. They are caught up in Disney and rom-coms. One day, I am going to do an article on all of the ways that Disney and rom-coms have destroyed the reality of relationships. For now, I’ll just say that the scripted tales of both have caused a lot of people to think that if someone loves them, they should be able to read their mind. Nooo…if someone loves you, they should care to know what is on your mind. And that brings me to the second point.
2. They aren’t as good at communicating as they think. Are you a good communicator? One way to know if you are is you’re able to clearly articulate your wants and needs — because really, if you are able to do that, why should anyone even need to read your mind? Feel me? Let’s move on.
3. They want someone else to work harder at their relationships than they do. I say it in my sessions often — it’s beyond crazy to think that someone should work harder at figuring out what your wants, needs and expectations are than you are willing to express them. Hmph. It makes me think of a friend of mine who says that “should” is a dangerous word. What she means by that is saying that someone should do or not do something simply because YOU THINK that’s how it “should” go is a surefire way to stay disappointed and even be disillusioned. No, your man shouldn’t just know what you want every year for your birthday. Did you state it? If not, why aren’t you playing fair? Who has time for all of the guessing games and then getting penalized if they guess wrong? Stop it.
4. They think it’s the sign of a healthy relationship (it isn’t). Anyone who knows me knows that I am always and forever going to be Team Healthy over Team Happy and my reason why never changes. Only children expect to live in a world where they are happy all of the time — and yes, there are a lot of childish people out here. People who want their mind read? They tend to live in happy land. Meanwhile, a healthy relationship knows that clear communication, mutual respect, keen listening, patience and understanding that humans make mistakes are foundational to its success.
5. They are lazy. And yes y’all, some people want others to read their mind because they are lazy and it really is just as simple as that. Thing is, while they are being passive aggressive, dropping hints or giving the silent treatment so that you can figure out whatever it is that they…want you to figure out, that tends to take more effort than simply speaking up. Ridiculous, chile.
How to Let the Myth Go
GiphyGee, after reading all of this, suddenly reading minds just seems like a lot of silliness with a sprinkle of drama and potential trauma, doesn’t it? And it’s all because some people choose to treat something that is a myth like it’s a bona fide fact. SMDH.
And what if you happen to be one of those individuals? How do you break free? COMMUNICATE. Openly, clearly and maturely share what’s on your mind and heart because, the true tell of a solid relationship isn’t that someone can read your mind; it’s that they can retain what you’ve already stated.
Less reading. More perceiving. That’s the secret sauce.
And when you accept this for what it is, you will realize that it’s far better for you, your partner and your relationship to stop expecting the impossible and to accept what is actual: that learning your partner, as they strive to do the same thing with you, is better than you both assuming that you know what…maybe you do, maybe you don’t.
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Author Frank Sonnenberg once said, “People can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating” — and I think this is a perfect place to bring all of this to a close.
Find the kind of relationship(s) where intention is so strong that mind-reading isn’t even desired.
At the end of the day, it really is as simple as that.
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