When it comes to women's sports, many turn a blind eye to their accomplishments. Nevertheless, with the most recent United States Women's National team (USWNT) win at the FIFA World Cup and the noise made at Wimbledon, it's about time we put a little respeck on the names of black women taking their sports by storm.
Here are the 12 black female athletes who are changing their games.
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Talk about sexual healing!
So sis, if you're in a work rut, finding that you're lacking motivation, or you aren't finding the inspiration to take things up a notch in the career department, you might need to get into some good old-fashioned boot-knocking and sensual stimulation.
Here are three more ways good, healthy sex---emphasis on the good and the healthy---can lead to better productivity and help you fight workplace burnout:
Again, we're talking about a divine sexual experience in which you orgasm or find optimal pleasure here, so don't go comparing those times when that one-night stand or ex-bae was just a hot mess in bed and you often stayed up all night trying to figure out the why and how. Researchers have found that during orgasm, the release of oxytocin and prolactin (hormones associated with happiness) can facilitate sleep, and more than 50% of participants in this study experienced "improved sleep quality" after masturbation orgasm.
We all know that rest is a prerequisite for a better next day---period---so we won't bore you with the research to back that up. Adding a session of climaxing to your nightly self-care routine could help in that department, leaving you refreshed and ready for anything that might come your way the next morning.
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Don't go too crazy with this one because we definitely want to be sure we're properly coping with stress and ensuring top mental and physical health. Nevertheless, good sex has been known to be one of many activities that can ease stress. Researchers tapped professionals to find out how sex is affected by stress, and they found that a good intimate session in a "satisfying relationship" was the move for stress and had positive effects for relieving stress.
The less stressed you are, the more likely you are able to really focus in on advancing and being your best self, so we just can't ignore how this might be a good look, especially for those of us whose jobs and titles entail a certain level of unavoidable challenges and pressure.
When you're having a great time in bed, enjoying someone you can fully vibe with, or feeling unapologetically free to be your full butt-naked self, it's always a beautiful confidence-booster. And interestingly enough, a study of the sexual activity during pandemic lockdowns found that people who had sex experienced "lower psychological distress" and higher levels of "satisfaction" than those who didn't. Science has also suggests that embracing your sensuality can increase body perception in positive ways.
And ladies, confidence pays in the workplace, literally: Professionals who have high self-esteem and exhibit this in the workplace have been found to earn as much as $28,000 more than those whose with low self-image. So, get into a bit of pleasure to up the ante on your self-pride and line your pockets, sis!
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The Insecure star posted a carousel of photos showing her in a wedding dress, standing alongside her groom and smiling with her bridesmaids. However, the caption read:
"Impromptu photo shoot in a custom @verawang dress.
B) My girls came to help me, but they all coincidentally had on the same dress! They were sooooo embarrassed.
C) Then I took a few flicks with Somebody's Husband.
Big thanks to @whiteedenweddings for being so gracious and accommodating and making this feel so real and special."
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Issa has always kept her private life private, but during her recent appearance on The Tamron Hall Show, she opened up about why she revealed her wedding to the public the way she did.
"I was supposed to do this in 2020 and things were different at that time and I worked with Vera Wang who were really great and they wanted to post a photo. At the time I was like 'ok, yeah no problem' and then later I was like 'oh, they're going to post the photo before me, let me tell it my way in the best way I know how' and that's the only reason I let it go."
She continued:
The actress went on to discuss what it was like walking down the aisle and the wedding overall.
"I feel so blessed to be surrounded by people who took the time out to just come and celebrate, and that's something that I'll cherish for the rest of my life," she said.
Some of those people who came out to celebrate Issa's nuptials to Louis were her Insecure co-stars Yvonne Orji and Jay Ellis.
The fifth and final season of Insecure premieres October 24 on HBO.
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Within the last year, I've added essentials to my wardrobe that are still key items for my everyday looks. Options like button down long sleeves to block heeled calf boots, there are plenty of ways to build a functional yet chic wardrobe. Here are a few more fall essentials that you can keep in rotation not only this year but into the next.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
First and foremost, everyone should own a trench coat. No matter your location, a trench coat is the ideal situation when in need of a perfect fall/winter coat. Whether a 90's dad style or ultra chic faux leather, this addition to your rotation is so necessary. I opted for a sleek longline trench coat paired with matching leather pants. For a super casual day, sneakers are a must. Dressed up or down, I can't wait to experiment with more looks to come.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Blazers are a personal favorite when creating looks this fall and just about any other time of the year. I truly aspire to have one in every color. With a world of endless looks when opting to layer, blazers are a staple investment. No matter your style, this is another great wardrobe essential for every wardrobe this season. Pair with a wide leg denim jean for an everyday fall look.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
I'm extremely excited about all the knitted looks this season defining what it means to be cute and comfortable. If sticking to the classics, go with a traditional knit like a neutral sweater dress complimented with a chain belt for a perfectly snatched waist. Add a matching calf boot to complete this super casual chic look.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
To get your fashion fix and to stay up to date with the latest trends, check out the xoNecole Style section here.
Featured image by Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
So, whether you feel that deep down you're a free spirit (and you want an article to confirm it) or you've got someone in your life who you sense may be one, I've got 10 signs that can definitely shed light on what being a free-spirited individual is truly all about.
My mother has told me, often, that beyond the standard "mama" and "dada", my first words as a baby were actually an abbreviated sentence — "I do myself, Mommy." She always follows that up with, "And you've basically been that way ever since." To a large extent, I wholeheartedly agree. Independence, for the most part, is about not depending on other people, especially when it comes to making a living. To me, this kind of person is cool on so many levels. Still, I will put the disclaimer out there that if you're so independent that you mentally, emotionally or literally live like you're an island in need of no relationships with anyone, that could result in some pretty lonely or limited living. Bottom line, when it comes to being an independent person, balance is key.
Someone once said to me, "You don't care what anybody thinks." My response to that was, "I care. It's just that my list is extremely short." I promise you that I don't get what good comes from "following the crowd", just for following's sake. Humans are fickle. Humans are fallible. And oftentimes, they say and do things, just to fit in — not because those things are good or right. If you read all of that and felt like you were about to clap at your own phone or monitor, I'm sure you can get where I'm coming from here. Do free spirits have friends? Sure they do. Do they feel like they need a ton of 'em or that they must succumb to peer pressure in order to feel good about themselves? Usually not.
Wanna know someone who's tried a billion-and-one things before? Free spirits. That's because they tend to get bored pretty easily and don't like to stick to routines very much. Because of this, they tend to have lots of stamps on their passport, can recommend a ton of restaurants in their city and are considered to be pretty big risk takers overall. That's cool. The flipside is, because newness is so important to them, sometimes they're not the best when it comes to holding down a job or even a relationship for that matter. Sometimes the novelty of things (and people) is so important to them that they can't sit still for very long — which is usually more frustrating to the people around them than them. (Right, free spirits?)
It actually wasn't until I sat down to write this article that I even knew there was such a thing as Workaholics Day (it's July 5). According to an article that I read concerning it, close to 50 percent of Americans consider themselves to be one. That's a damn shame. It's also pretty foreign when it comes to free spirits. When it comes to this particular point, an extreme version that comes to mind is Lynn from Girlfriends.
The thing that free spirits have to keep in mind is there is a time for work and a time for play, no doubt. Still, there is a time to pay bills and a time to have an emergency fund for car repairs, hospital bills, etc. If you're a free spirit, you might've read all of that and said, "Eh. The universe will handle it." And yeah, that's just what I thought you would say (LOL).
All of us have moments when we need a bit of an ego boost (in the most humble way possible, of course). But when it comes to a free spirit, they don't typically struggle with self-esteem issues — at least as it relates to what other people think about them (which I already touched on). A big part of the reason why is because free spirits relish in their individuality. They totally get what being an original is all about. They like that there are things about them that are extremely unique. In fact, it's almost like they will go out of their way to do something that will make themselves stand out — a totally-out-of-the-box hair color, an oddly-placed tattoo or piercing, a fashion sense that is truly uncommon. And because they are incomparable, they don't typically struggle with envying others because others look and think nothing like them and they like that. Yeah, if "I don't give AF about what others are on" was a person, free spirits would definitely fit the bill.
When it comes to this trait of free spirits, a Bruce Lee quote immediately comes to mind. Perhaps you are familiar with it:
"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend."
Because I was surrounded by control freaks while growing up and, subsequently, ended up having PTSD from it and then had to work on freeing myself from being a control freak myself (which I honestly have only semi-mastered in my 40s), it wasn't until I was in my mid-late 30s that this mindset of Bruce's became a priority to me. Another example of "flowing" is the first time I went to South Africa to visit my family. Because flying isn't my favorite thing on this planet, the turbulence, for all those hours, had a sistah tense. My brother said, "If you relax and move with the plane, it will be easier on your mind and your body." He was right.
Free spirits get, for the most part, that there is only so much that you can control. What you can't, you need to leave up to God (some would say the universe) and chill out. To those who aren't very flexible, the mere thought of being like water stresses them out and causes them to see free spirits as being nonchalant and even flippant. Free spirits don't care, though, because they are a lot more calm and serene due to feeling this way.
A couple of years ago, I checked out a video from a YouTube channel that I like called nappyheadedjojoba. I enjoyed it so much that it inspired an article for the platform entitled, "Single-Minded: So, What If You Like Dating But DON'T Desire Marriage?" because that's pretty much what nappyheadedjojoba said — relationships, cool. Marriage? Not so cool. You know, a couple of months ago, I was having a conversation with a married friend of mine about what she would do, relationally, if she were to ever get a divorce or her husband were to pass away. "Not get married again, I can promise you that," she said. While it might seem on the onset that she regrets getting married (if you personally do, check out "What Should You Do If You Feel Like You Married The Wrong Person?"), that's not what she meant. See, this person, in a lot of ways, is a bit of a free spirit herself and what marriage has revealed to her is she doesn't want to constantly answer to someone or even share all of the time. Actually, she reminds me of another never-been-married-before woman (who is close to her 70s at this point) who once said to me, "I'm too selfish to be married." She doesn't like the idea of accountability and sharing either.
I don't know about y'all, but I don't personally know too many free-spirited individuals who are "gifts people" when it comes to love languages. In fact, I don't know too many free-spirited people who are big on money or tangible things at all. If anything, they are more into quality time (or maybe even physical touch) because they like the memories that come from spending time with people they enjoy being around. This means that if you've got a free spirit in your life, you don't have to worry about impressing them with expensive stuff. At the same time, they can still be a bit challenging to please — one, because they oftentimes have quirky taste and two, since memories (and nostalgia) are such a big deal to them, you've got to put real thought into what you plan on doing with them. While we're here, another thing to keep in mind is because they are so big on memories, they can sometimes be easy to disappoint. Plus, because this is the case, they aren't always the best at forgiving whenever you do.
It's no secret that while Type A people tend to be far more organized, they also tend to be a lot more impatient and prone to being stressed out. Type B folks? C'mon. How much more "zen" can you get than a lot of them? That said, free spirits would definitely fall into the Type B category. While this can be cool on a lot of levels, because being Type B means that you are way more easy-going, there is something to be said for order. Organized people tend to pay bills on time. Organized people tend to manage their time well. Organized people tend to have a clean house and car — you get where I'm coming from. The thing that free spirits have to keep in mind when it comes to being organized is it's important to remember that you can be "free" and responsible too. In fact, when you are an adult, you absolutely should.
Probably my favorite thing about free-spirited folks is how passionate they are. This results in them being pretty positive people. This results in them knowing what it means to stay in the moment. This results in them enjoying (and taking) sex to new levels. This results in them feeling things fully and intensely. This results in them being excited about big things and simple pleasures. In a nutshell, free spirits like cultivating and experiencing pure, real and lasting joy. They believe that things should be felt deeply, that relationships should be profound, and life is meant to create powerful moments, as often as possible. This is a quality that makes free spirits a blessing — whether you are one or happen to know one. So, if this is the case, celebrate! They make life so much richer in their own special way. They really and truly do.
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