"I keep my twisted grill, just to show them kids it's real. We ain't picture perfect but we worth the picture still." - "Crooked Smile" x J. Cole
Some may think that gaps between your teeth is a flaw, but over here, we believe it's a unique trait that should be celebrated. This quirky aesthetic makes for a smile full of charisma and persona. The French are actually ahead of the game because they dubbed beauties with gapped teeth les dents du bonheur, meaning "lucky teeth."
We had the chance to kiki with some women who embrace their gorgeous grins no matter who's looking and we can't stop smiling from ear to ear. Check out their journey to embracing the smiles they were born with by clicking through the gallery below.
1.Pamela Holmes
The definition of "embrace" is having a knowledge of the good, bad, and the ugly, then accepting every aspect that comes with it. That's what it took for me to embrace my smile.
I had to be faced with the ugly and the bad to humbly embrace the good. It's no secret that I have a gap and overbite. I mean it's not like I haven't tried to fix my teeth. I had to wear braces throughout my entire high school career. So being called "brace-face," "track-mouth," and even "mush-mouth" and still no perfect teeth, it was a sign that I should maybe keep it. So instead of trying to get rid of it, I embraced it.
I started showing my gap more during a photo shoot and sooner than later it became a trademark. Now it's one of the reasons I get booked as a model. So if it's any advice I could give to anyone who's struggling with a feature that may not fit "society's norm," remember society's norm does not have to be a norm for you.
Do not be shaped by society and its perception of beauty. Set your own beauty marks in this world, and let the world be forced to embrace it.
2.Woodeleine Beaujour
For years, I hated my smile, I even wanted to get braces.
Now that I am older, I realized I am actually grateful for my teeth, I am grateful for my smile, I wouldn't change it for anything.
My smile is very unique and it is part of who I am as a person.
I have come to the point in my life where I am able to accept each and every part of my body. Nonetheless, I have also come to understand that people are always going to share their opinions about my looks. People say things without realizing the effect that it may cause for others.
I embrace my smile by smiling more and staying positive because that is who I am.
3.Alexis Maria
I used to have an issue with my smile. I hated my gap. No one necessarily made fun of me because of it, but I wanted my teeth to be straight like everyone else's. But that was the problem, I wanted to look like other people.
I never noticed that my gap is what sets me apart from the collective.
I would see celebrities come into the industry with their unique smiles, then change them as soon as they've made it big. Just made me think I had a flaw that wasn't acceptable. Me embracing my smile was a long journey because we are all made the way the Universe intended. Everyone, everything is beautiful.
When you actually come to terms with that, something silly like gapped teeth won't bother you. I love my gap because it's a part of me and I love myself, so that's how it should be.
4.Special Reynolds
It took me a while to love my smile.
As a child, I was teased about having a gap and I remembered I had two yellow stains on my front teeth. Then, when I got older, I took charge of my dental care and realized that I had an amazing smile. People say gapped teeth are ugly but I think they are beautiful and even sexy. Also, gapped teeth are hereditary, so it connects me to my Mom's side of the family where I get it from.
So I embrace my smile by smiling super big, taking close-up selfies, and denying dental offers for braces and veneers. My teeth are perfect just the way they are.
5.Thokozile Tshabalala
Honestly, I never used to smile.
I was never confident about my smile because I hated how my teeth looked.
I remember entering a modeling contest and I didn't make it to the finals because I never smiled. One day, someone told me that I had a beautiful gap and in my head, I thought they were teasing me until someone said the same thing and I started believing it a little. I started Googling girls with gaps and they looked pretty. Long story short, I got confidence from them and I started embracing the front gap and I'm starting to smile more.
6.Natalie Blake
When I was younger, I never really understood how my smile was unique.
I just remember that I was one of the few people with the space between my teeth. I got made fun of a little bit but somehow I embraced the attention. As I got a little older, I started getting a different kind of attention from people in a positive way and it made me realize that I don't need braces or need to be like everyone else. I just learned to rock my gap tooth with my style.
When you have the confidence about something and you don't need verification from anyone else, people accept what you already accepted.
That's how I feel about my smile it's unique because I embrace it.
7.Jessica Johnson
I'm a gap-toothed, deep-dimpled, loud-mouthed, silly woman.
Smiling is contagious. Plus, if I don't smile, I look like Ice Cube. So, I smile because life's too short to be unhappy.
8.LoriElle Anderson
The light that is within me illuminates through my smile. My smile is ignited when I think of the love I have for myself that allows me to share love with others.
I embrace my smile by recognizing that it was uniquely formed, just as my being.
I am able to embrace my smile because it is nonconforming and untraditional, just like the life I lead. My smile embodies versatility and holds value. It is a beautiful thing to be able to embrace such a standout smile in such a traditional and stereotypical society. I embrace my smile to encourage other young women to be proud of their natural features and shine bright like their pearly whites!
What's one thing that you love about your smile?
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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