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8 Summer-Themed Alcoholic Drinks That Can Boost Your Libido
Y'all, if there is any phrase that could serve as the official one for 2020, it would have to be, "Whew. I need a drink!". So, while it's still basically burning up outside, I figured it would be (no pun intended) cool to share with you some alcoholic recipes that center around two themes—summertime and your sex drive. All of these either feature a fruit that is in season during the summer season or they're the type of drink that seems best served during the warmer times of the year. Plus, all of them have ingredients (including alcohol which automatically lowers our inhibitions) that can make you want to enjoy a sunset and then—an even longer night.
So, if you'd like to kick back and enjoy a drink that tastes good and will make your sex life even better, make sure to bookmark this article. That way, next time you go to the grocery and liquor store, you'll know just what to get to boost your libido way up!
1. Kiwi Blackberry Summer Sangria
(Recipe by Yummy Mummy Kitchen)
- A bottle of white wine
- 12 ounce can or container of berry juice
- 3 very ripe kiwis, peeled and sliced
- 1/2 cup of blackberries
- 1/3 cup of loosely packed fresh mint
Put all of the ingredients into a large pitcher. Stir until well mixed with a wooden spoon. Then refrigerate until you're ready to drink it.
I personally don't know anyone who doesn't thoroughly enjoy a tall glass of Sangria. Well, if you want to try one that will help to totally get you in the mood, this one will do it. First up, kiwi (for the record, some are in peak season from March thru June while others are from June thru August), is packed with Vitamin C. Not only does Vitamin C play a significant role in keeping your immune system nice and strong, it also helps to keep hormones like androgen, estrogen and progesterone balanced. Plus, Vitamin C has a pretty good reputation for boosting sex drives and increasing fertility as well.
Then, when you add blackberries (which are their ripest between June and August) into the mix, the Vitamin E (along with Vitamin C) that are in them can increase blood circulation throughout your body (including when it comes to your genitals), intensify your orgasms and can even make you hornier if your libido has been lower lately.
Oh, and of course, the white wine helps. That's because wine contains ethanol which is a type of alcohol that stimulates the part of your brain that regulates your hormone levels and elevates your sex drive.
(As a heads up, I changed the mint from ½ cup to 1/3 cup because too much menthol can actually decrease testosterone levels in some people. If you want to just use it as a garnish, that's cool too.)
2. Chilled Mexican Chocolate Cocktail
(Recipe by Rick Bayless)
- 2 ounces of chilled Mexican hot chocolate
- 1 ½ ounces of añejo tequila
- ½ ounce of ancho chile liqueur
- Shaved Mexican chocolate (for garnish)
Put all of the ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake for 15-20 seconds. Double strain into a martini glass and then add chocolate for garnish.
OK, so I'm kinda already thinking that you've heard somewhere that chocolate is an aphrodisiac. The main two reasons why are because 1) chocolate contains tryptophan which helps to build serotonin; that helps to increase sexual arousal in both men and women, and 2) chocolate has the organic compound phenylethylamine in it; it helps people to feel more attached to one another. As far as tequila (which is made by steaming the agave plant) goes, well—if you've ever had a couple of shots of it before, you know how it can quickly get you to turn up! Many Mexicans consider it to be the strongest of all aphrodisiacs (chile). Chilling this drink makes it the perfect summer deck cocktail.
3. Champagne Ginger Cocktail
(Recipe by The Seasoned Mom)
- 2 teaspoons of grated fresh ginger
- 1/2 cup of granulated white sugar
- 1/4 cup of water
- A pinch ground cinnamon (optional)
- A pinch ground nutmeg (optional)
- 1 bottle of summer champagne
Place a fine mesh sieve over a large bowl. In a small saucepan, combine ginger, sugar (along with the cinnamon and nutmeg, if you wish) and bring everything to a boil while stirring the mixture for two minutes. Pour the syrup through the sieve. Refrigerate the syrup in a glass bottle. When you're ready to serve the drinks, put a tablespoon of the syrup into a champagne flute and fill the glass with champagne. Serve immediately.
If you didn't know that ginger serves as its own aphrodisiac, now is as a good a time as any to bring that fact up. It's the kind of plant that is great for men as it relates to their strengthening their libido and improving their sperm quality. One study even revealed that ginger is a natural way to help treat erectile dysfunction. And, if you add it to a nice rosé—which is more "summery" than say, a red wine—it can feel light and festive. Oh, and while adding cinnamon and nutmeg is totally up to you, cinnamon is a sexy scent that is able to warm up your body in a way that simulates feeling aroused while nutmeg is a stimulant that has been associated with natural ways to treat infertility.
4. Grapefruit and Cucumber-Infused Cocktail
(Recipe by Modest Marce)
For the cucumber-infused vodka:
- 1 cup of vodka
- ½ cucumber, sliced
For the cocktail:
- 1 ½ ounce of cucumber infused vodka
- 1 teaspoon of white sugar
- 2 ounces of freshly squeezed grapefruit juice
- 1 to 2 ounces of sparkling water
- ½ cucumber, sliced for garnish
In order to infuse the cucumbers with the vodka, place both ingredients into a glass jar and let everything sit overnight. The next day, strain out the cucumber slices. Put the vodka, along with all of the other ingredients, into a cocktail shaker. Shake for 30-40 seconds. Then pour the drink into a glass that is filled with ice and serve immediately.
For the most part, the top of the year through August is the best time to slice open a couple of grapefruits. On the libido-boosting tip, it's a fruit that is loaded with Vitamin C, folic acid and antioxidants. The combination of those nutrients is able to increase your sex drive. Plus, if you're a woman who has been experiencing a low level of estrogen, this is a fruit that can actually alter the enzyme aromatase, so that the testosterone in your system can be turned into estrogen. The cucumbers in this drink contain Vitamin B3 to keep you and your partner's hormones well-balanced. If you wanna kick things up a couple of more notches, try some Lust Vodka. You can read why I say so here.
5. Spicy Ancho Chile Daiquiri
(Recipe by Vine Pair)
- 1 ounce of rum
- 1 ounce of Ancho Reyes Verde
- 1 ounce of lime juice
- ½ ounce of simple syrup
- 1 cup of ice
Combine all of the ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake them for 30 seconds and strain them in a serving glass. Add a fresh chile (if you'd like) for garnish.
Limes are at their best if you cop them between May and October. Since they're considered to be a citrus fruit, they can help your sex life out because they've got vitamins B and C, along with potassium and folic acid. Vitamins B and C are great for maintaining overall sexual health, folic acid keeps women's reproductive health intact and potassium can help to keep your blood pressure low so that blood circulation flows freely and your partner's erections remain strong and long.
6. Gin Cocktail with Honey and Lemon Cordial
(Recipe by Simply-Delicious-Food)
- ¾ cup fynbos honey
- 2 cups water
- ¾ cup muscovado dark brown sugar
- Juice and zest of 4 lemons
Put all of the ingredients into a saucepan and bring them to a boil. Turn down the burner and allow the mixture to simmer for 15 minutes until it turns an amber color. Remove the mixture from the heat and allow it to completely cool down. Then strain the lemon zest. Pour the liquid into glass bottles and refrigerate until the drink is cold. (This should last for a couple of months if you keep the bottles in the refrigerator.)
Lemons are also a citrus fruit. But aside from the other libido-boosting benefits that I've already mentioned, there are a few more reasons to want to get more lemons into your system when it comes to improving your sexual health and, ultimately your sex life. Lemons are able to assist in detoxifying your system; the less toxins you've got, the easier it will be for your blood to flow through your system. Lemons also contain anti-inflammatory properties that can support your man's erections to last longer. Lemons can kick your metabolism into overdrive and, thanks to the citrate that's in them, lemons can help to reduce any bodily pain or discomfort you might be feeling too. Plus, if you add a little bit of honey into the mix, honey can make the drink and its after-effects that much sweeter due to the B vitamins in it that will assist in the production of your partner's testosterone as the boron that's also in it will elevate your estrogen levels, just a tad.
7. The Summer Fling
(Recipe by I'd Rather Be a Chef)
- 1 bottle of rosé
- 10 strawberries, sliced
- 1/2 lemon, sliced
- 2 1/2 cups of lemonade
- 1 bottle champagne or cava
Put the sliced strawberries and lemons into a glass pitcher. Then add the champagne and lemon, cover the pitcher, and put the mixture into the freezer so that it can marinate for at least 4-5 hours. Next, fill your champagne flutes up halfway, topping your glasses off with champagne or cava.
Honestly, May and June are the time of the year when you're almost guaranteed to get a deliciously sweet batch of strawberries, pretty much any time you go to the store. But if you purchase some now until summer ends, you should still be alright. Good thing too because strawberries top the list of being a super sexy fruit. Besides them being sexy to watch someone eat, strawberries are another fruit that are high in Vitamin C. Not only that, but strawberries are full of zinc; zinc can help to increase your vaginal lubrication while keeping your partner's sperm nice and healthy. The aphrodisiacs in these types of berries can increase blood circulation too, including the blood that goes down to you and yours' genitalia and—well, we already discussed that that can do. #wink
8. Saratoga Cocktail
(Recipe by Cold-Glass)
- 1 ounce of brandy
- 1 ounce of rye whiskey
- 1 ounce of sweet vermouth
- 2 dashes of Angostura bitters
- A couple of orange slices
Combine all of the ingredients into a glass bottle. Then pour into a chilled cocktail glass that's filled with ice cubes and garnish it with a slice of orange.
This drink gets its own shout-out because bitters are also a wonderful detoxifier. As a bonus, bitters have also been attributed to helping to alleviate back pain and stomachaches. This is great to know if your head wants to get some, but your body isn't totally into the idea—just yet. A couple of glasses of this and you could be good to go in under an hour or less. So, drink up while the summer is still super hot (and can get even hotter), sis!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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