Some Foods Literally Enhance Our Melanin (Who Knew?)
I'll admit that, until I happened upon a health-related article on melanin and how to protect it, I had absolutely no idea that you could literally "eat your way" into increasing the melanin in your skin, hair and nails. If you didn't either, here's how doing that is possible.
In short, melanin is what gives us our skin pigmentation. Aside from the Most High, it's the reason why we come in such beautiful hues. It's what makes us smile, big time, whenever we watch informational and entertaining programming like PBS's Say It Loud (if you've never checked it out before, it really is pretty dope!). It's what makes us stand a little taller whenever we wear apparel from sistah-ran brands like Melanin Babes Apparel. It's what makes us proud to be profoundly and unapologetically Black. Melanin? It's everything.
Now, from a scientific standpoint, the reason why it's important to take care of our melanin is because it's also what helps us to protect our skin from sun damage. Because yes, y'all, contrary to popular belief (which is really no more than a myth), Black people can get sunburned. We can get skin cancer too (the risks are much lower than Caucasians for sure, but it does indeed happen).
So, if you want to be proactive when it comes to your own natural-born melanin and even want to do your part to enhance the amount of melanin that you have (because some studies claim that taking in more melanin can give our skin, hair and nails a "deeper" appearance over time), here are some foods that are proven to help you do it.
1. Broccoli
Vitamin C strengthens your immune system and helps your body to produce collagen (which keeps you looking young). Vitamin K helps to keep your bones healthy and promotes wound healing. Fiber keeps you regular. Folate helps your body to produce new cells. Broccoli contains all of this, plus Vitamin A, potassium and even some protein.
The reason why it's featured in this particular article on melanin is because it's a green vegetable; those contain micronutrients like flavonoids or polyphenols which help to play a significant role in increasing melanin production in our system. (By the way, if you boil your broccoli, please stop. You get much more nutrients out of it by steaming your broccoli instead.)
2. Turmeric
I take turmeric in supplement form. I will give a heads up that while I used to do it every day, now it's down to a couple of times a week. The reason why is because it's a kind of spice that can thin your blood; for me, that resulted in a much heavier period flow. Still, I have no regrets with adding it to my health regimen because when it contains curcumin too, turmeric has powerful anti-inflammatory properties. It also lowers your risk of heart disease, helps to prevent cancer and Alzheimer's disease and is even great at relieving arthritis and depression-related symptoms.
Whether you take turmeric in supplement form or cook with it, it's interesting what it can do. On one hand, it contains properties that can inhibit the overproduction of melanin that can ultimately result in hyperpigmentation issues. On the flip side, because turmeric is also rich in flavonoids and polyphenols, it can increase melanin production; especially when you're in the sun.
So, how do you know which way to make it work in your melanin-increasing favor? If you want to consume turmeric in order to add melanin to your body, get the kind that does not have curcumin in it. It's the properties in curcumin that blocks the ACTH hormone in your system and helps to keep melanin from increasing in your body. If you get some that doesn't contain curcumin, you should be pretty good to go.
3. Eggs
Eggs are high in protein. They also contain betaine and choline to regulate your cells and protect your heart. It also has the lipoprotein HDL to maintain your body's "good protein", the antioxidants lutein and zeaxanthin to keep your eyes strong and amino acids to support your body tissues.
Two other things that eggs have in them are Vitamin D (the same nutrient that the sun gives us) and Vitamin E. As far as Vitamin E goes, what a lot of people don't know is if you do decide to sunbathe (because yes, a lot of us do it too) and you want a more radiant glow, you should consume Vitamin E and put some Vitamin E oil onto your skin as well. The reason why is because it's a nutrient that "triggers" the production of melanin in your system. Oftentimes, you'll see slight physical effects of this within hours of eating it and putting it on. (As far as eggs go, focus on the yolk more than the egg whites; that's where most of the Vitamin E is found.)
4. Red Peppers
If you're someone who likes to cook with red peppers, you're in luck. They're a veggie that is loaded with antioxidants, burns calories and, thanks to the folate and Vitamin B6 that's in them, they're also good for you if you are currently pregnant or are trying to conceive a child.
Melanin-wise, bell peppers made the list because of all of the Vitamin C that they contain. Vitamin C is also a proven nutrient that increases the production of melanin in our bodies. And, as far as red peppers go, they contain a whopping 200 percent more than the reference daily intake (RDI) of C. So, on the getting your Vitamin C in tip, it's a vegetable that definitely has you covered.
5. Peas
At some point in your childhood, you were probably told that you couldn't get up from the dinner table until you finished your peas. Good thing too because that means you got a good amount of vitamins A, B1, B6 and K, folate, manganese, iron, fiber and protein in your system. As a direct result, you were able to digest your food better and your blood sugar was kept under control.
Peas also have Vitamin C in them to produce melanin. Also, thanks to the folate (folic acid) that are in peas, you can slow down the lack of melanin in your hair's strands; it's something that typically comes with age or even premature greying.
6. Orange Fruits and Veggies
Something that all orange fruits and vegetables—oranges, papaya, sweet potatoes, carrots, pumpkin, etc.—contain beta-carotene. We all need beta-carotene in our system because it's also an antioxidant. Some of beta-carotene's benefits include that it can help to keep our lungs healthy and strong, it protects your brain from cognitive decline, and it can even help to prevent diabetes and cancer. From a beauty standpoint, beta-carotene is awesome because it reduces our sensitivity to the sun, increases hair growth, and gives your skin a natural healthy glow.
Beta-carotene is a must-have, melanin-wise, because it contains carotenoids that help us to maintain our natural skin color. It works well even during the cooler seasons when we tend to not have quite as much exposure to the sun.
7. Almonds
It can never hurt to snack on a few almonds every day. They've got fiber, protein, manganese, and magnesium in them. They're also full of antioxidants. And, as far as proven health benefits go, they are the kind of nut that stabilizes your blood pressure, lowers cholesterol levels, and they can reduce your overall caloric intake by helping to curb any midday cravings that you may have.
We've already discussed why consuming Vitamin E is critical to the health and quality of your melanin. Well, when it comes to Vitamin E, almonds have a whopping 37 percent of your RDI in just one ounce. So yep, a few almonds a day can be just what you need to keep your melanin on point.
8. Green Tea
How good is green tea for you? The list is kind of endless. It contains a lot of antioxidants to strengthen your immune system. It's got polyphenols that help to reduce bodily inflammation and prevent cancer. Green tea also has compounds in it to improve your brain function, improve your workouts, lower your risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes—and that's just for starters!
It's a good idea to drink green tea because the properties in it can also help to regulate melanin production in your system; it will help to keep your hair, skin and nail's pigment in balance.
9. Brewer's Yeast
If you don't have a container of Brewer's Yeast in your pantry, maybe this will gas you up to buy one. Basically, if you're looking for a type of supplement that will provide you with more energy, this is the one that will do it. That's because it contains magnesium, iron, protein, zinc, and just about every B-vitamin that you can think of. Because Brewer's Yeast is loaded with so many vitamins and minerals, it has a great reputation for naturally maintaining your hair, skin, and nails. Plus, it's loaded with Vitamin D; the same thing that the sun offers us to give our skin—our melanin—a rich warm glow.
Just make sure that if you are already on any type of medication that you consult your healthcare provider before taking Brewer's Yeast. Otherwise, you could end up with diarrhea or chest pain as a side effect of consuming it.
10. Plums
Plums are a fruit that have the organic compounds isatin and sorbitol in them. Both of these are necessary because they help to relieve constipation. Plums also contain antioxidants that keep free radicals at bay and fiber to lower your cholesterol levels. Something else that's in this particular kind of fruit is the mineral boron; it aids in preserving bone density.
Another good thing about plums is, like eggs, they have Vitamin E in them too. This kind of vitamin is not only essential to the health of your skin, but again, it also has the ability to increase the production of melanin in your body. Plus, they're in season through the middle of October which is just a few weeks away (then they return again in April).
So, the next time you're at the grocery store, pick up a few. You can eat them raw or try this easy to make plum jam recipe (here). They're sweet, they're delicious, and they're just one more way to give your already bomb melanin an extra boost! Pretty cool, huh?
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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