10 Superfoods Every Woman Should Eat On The Regular
Superfoods. What exactly are they? I'm gonna be real with you—the term itself is one that is used in marketing. Basically, it's a word to let you know when a particular food is so high in nutrients that it's basically off the charts. Well today, I'm gonna take out a moment to share with you 10 foods that make the superfood list. All of them are rich in vitamins and minerals. All of them come with loads of health benefits. And all of them are pretty damn good, both to and for you, from the very moment you put them into your mouth.
If something that you really want to focus more on right through here is being more proactive when it comes to your overall health and well-being, here are some of the foods that will totally have your back. (Oh, and the specific food dishes that I recommend in this? Click on the hyperlinks because they are connected to actual recipes. You can thank me later, chile.)
1. Mushrooms
Here's something that I'll share from personal experience. While my health is actually pretty good, something that I've had for years is a fungal infection. It's resulted in me having more yeast infections back in the day than I would like and even a couple of bouts of tinea versicolor (by the way, I read that a Black woman has recently invented a cream that combats this particular fungal infection; you can get more info on that here). Anyway, what does all of this have to do with this list? Well, while mushrooms are considered to be a superfood, they are also a fungus. Sooooo…if you're also sensitive to fungi, you might wanna pass on (or at least eat less of) 'em.
For everyone else, mushrooms contain all sorts of health benefits. They are packed with antioxidants including selenium. Selenium is dope because it decreases your chances of developing certain cancer cells, helps to prevent heart disease, reduces mental decline, promotes thyroid health and helps to boost your immune system. Some other awesome things about mushrooms is they contain a good amount of vitamins B and D, copper and potassium and the soluble fiber beta glucan which helps to reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes. If you've got inflammatory issues, mushrooms also have the antioxidant ergothioneine which helps to lower inflammation and, as a bonus, ergothioneine can also slow down aging signs from the inside out. All of these are solid reasons to make yourself some homemade stuffed mushrooms tonight, don't cha think?
2. Sweet Potatoes
Sweet potatoes are considered to be a "perfect food" because, so much of what our bodies need, on a daily basis, is found in one. For starters, sweet potatoes contain an incredible amount of vitamins A, B, C and E, along with iron, calcium, selenium, choline, magnesium and antioxidants. Every time you eat a sweet potato, you are taking proactive measures to manage your blood sugar, reduce your stress levels, fight bodily inflammation, prevent ulcers and, thanks to the antimicrobial properties that are also in sweet potatoes, they can help to protect your body from the bacteria that can ultimately lead to pneumonia. Not to mention the fact that the Vitamin C in this vegetable can help to produce collagen to give your skin a healthy glow while its Vitamin E can help to keep your skin and hair moisturized. All of this is a good enough reason to make yourself a baked sweet potato or some sweet potato fries ASAP.
3. Pomegranates
Pomegranates are the kind of fruit that you have to get on in the fall if you want to gain all of the nutrients that it has to offer. That's because pomegranates are at their peak between September thru November (although sometimes you can catch a good batch well into January). Personally, one of my favorite things about them is, in Jewish culture, one of the things that they represent is love and fertility.
However, as far as health benefits go, pomegranates are high in Vitamin C, fatty acids, and antioxidants (three times the amount of red wine, in fact). They also contain vitamins E and K, fiber, folate, and potassium. Eating pomegranates will help to reduce chronic inflammation, properties that help to prevent breast (and prostate) cancer, arthritis, and blood pressure. There are even studies to support that pomegranates can help to improve your memory and reduce oxidative stress so that it's easier to conceive. All that from a fruit that contains approximately 613 tiny little seeds in them. A great way to get pomegranate power into your system is to drink pomegranate juice (not drink; pure organic juice) which you can usually find in your local grocery store.
4. Bone Broth
As a doula, if there's one thing that I recommend the moms that I work with consume, it's bone broth. Basically, it's the stock that comes from the meaty bones and connective tissue that are left over after doing things like boiling ribs (before baking or grilling) or preparing some homemade chicken soup. The health benefits of bone broth are numerous. The amino acids in bone broth will boost your immune system and help to increase muscle mass. The L-glutamine in it will reduce gut inflammation. The calcium, Vitamin D, zinc and iron will help to keep your bones nice and strong. Also, on the nutrient tip, bone broth contains vitamins A, B, C, K and copper and boron. If you're dehydrated, bone broth's got plenty of electrolytes. Other properties in it can help to improve your quality of sleep, build stronger nails, provide arthritic and joint pain relief and, help to lighten heavy menstrual cycles too.
If you're not a vegetarian or vegan, you can get an easy-to-make recipe for bone broth here. If you happen to not eat meat, there are meat-free alternatives. Click here to make vegetarian bone broth and here to make vegan bone broth.
5. Cauliflower
Often considered to be the "white half-sibling" of broccoli (LOL), cauliflower contains all kinds of great goodness! It's rich in vitamins B, C and K, magnesium, manganese, potassium, fiber and phosphorus. Some valid perks that come with consuming cauliflower is it's the kind of veggie that is low in carbs and gluten-free (which is why so many people enjoy cauliflower rice). Also, it's got antioxidants in it to help fight off free radicals, promote healthy gut bacteria (remember that 80 percent of your immunity is within your gut) and, along with the flavonoids and carotenoids in this veggie, it can also help to keep cancer cells at bay. Cauliflower also contains choline to boost brain health while the iron in it can help your body to better absorb iron if you happen to be anemic or borderline anemic. Plus, the Vitamin K in cauliflower supports long-term bone health. So, how about making a pizza with some cauliflower crust soon?
6. Arugula
Arugula is a green that comes from the Mediterranean region. If you've never tasted it before, it has an acquired light peppery taste. Arugula is loaded with calcium, potassium, folate, zinc, iron, phosphorus and vitamins A, C and K. And, while all greens are really good for you, arugula makes the superfood list because it helps to strengthen your heart; keeps free radicals from attacking sensitive areas like your eyes; controls your blood pressure; aids in digestion; speeds up the healing process of skin ailments such as eczema and acne; enhances your athletic performance and, it's an excellent detoxifier. Honestly, that's just the tip of the iceberg (no pun intended) of this green vegetable. Yet if you're someone who enjoys fresh salads, add some arugula to them. You'll literally be eating a multi-vitamin, every time you do it.
7. Ginger
Ginger is a spice that, I'd actually be pretty shocked if you didn't know that it's wonderful at treating nausea (or morning sickness, if you're pregnant). Oh, but it does a whole lot more than that. The gingerol that's in it contains powerful medicinal properties. Because of this, ginger can reduce muscular pain and discomfort, lower blood sugar levels, soothe the discomfort that's associated with chronic indigestion and help to relieve menstrual cramps too. As if that's not awesome enough, ginger also helps to hinder the growth of abnormal cells (that could lead to cancer), helps to improve cognitive health and, it can even inhibit the growth of certain bacteria. So, why not treat your body by making yourself a cup of ginger tea? With some honey and lemon, while it's pretty spicy, it's also pretty damn good too.
8. Pears
Pears are another one of those fruits that are best bought and eaten in the fall; that's because they are in season from August thru October. They top the list of being one of the healthiest foods in the world because they are high in fiber, plus they've got a good amount of Vitamin C and copper in them as well.
Thanks to the fiber, they help to promote good gut health. Pears also have plant compounds in them; ones that will help to keep your skin glowing and your vision clear. Since they're also rich in the flavonoid antioxidant, pears can reduce bodily inflammation and help to fight the development of cancer cells. Also, the procyanidin antioxidants in this fruit can improve heart health while the nutrients zeaxanthin and lutein will keep your hair and skin looking and feeling healthy. A pear right out of your fruit bowl is good all on its own, but something that tastes absolutely amazing is fresh pear preserves.
9. Buckwheat
While growing up, something that my mother used to make, fairly often, was buckwheat pancakes. I actually liked them a lot. If you're familiar with buckwheat but you're not exactly sure what it is, it's considered to be a superfood because it's on the whole grain list. It has a good amount of protein and fiber in it, along with a high amount of potassium, phosphorus and magnesium. Some other nutrients that are found in this particular grain include calcium, iron, various kinds of Vitamin B and some Vitamin K too. Because whole grains are linked to good heart health, that's one reason to add buckwheat to your diet. Also, the fiber in it helps to aid in digestion and support weight loss. If you've got diabetes and you want to help to keep it in check, this is a grain that is also a complex carb; complex carbs help to manage glucose levels. And, since buckwheat is gluten-free, you can enjoy it, stress-free, if you happen to be allergic to wheat or barley. All good reasons to give this awesome whole grain a try.
10. Dark Chocolate
There really is no tellin' how many times I've written a health-related article and dark chocolate has gotten a shout-out in it. That's because it's the kind of food that is just that bomb! It's really high in fiber, manganese, copper, iron and magnesium. Believe it or not, dark chocolate has some fatty acids and antioxidants in it too. All of these things work together to lower your cholesterol and blood sugar levels, boost your immunity, reduce your heart disease risk, protect your skin from damaging UV rays and improve your cognitive function. Not only that but the theobromine compound (which is found in the cacao plant) along with the chemical phenethylamine that's also in dark chocolate can help to prevent depression.
Also, here's something that's a trip—theobromine has the ability to calm down your vagus nerve. Why does that matter? Your vagus nerve is what causes you to cough whenever your throat is irritated, so basically, dark chocolate serves as a cough suppressant too!
Just make sure that you get the kind of dark chocolate that contains at least 60 percent cocoa because, in order to gain all of these benefits, you need to eat pure dark chocolate, not a Snickers candy bar. Oh, but if you do, you will be partaking in the kind of superfood that will be looking out for you and your overall health and well-being for years to come. So, get to a store and cop you some ASAP. That and the rest of what's on this superfood list, sis!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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