

Wheeeeew-wheeeee. With news stories like this past June being the hottest one ever recorded on the planet and the Atlantic Ocean being on the verge of collapsing, folks can continue to debate if global warming is a real thing if they want to; however, those of us who know better…know better. And with it being several weeks into the summer season, with clear temp-related signs that are not going to let up as far as the heat (and heat index) is concerned, it’s a good idea to be as proactive as possible when it comes to staying cool — and your vagina is certainly no exception.
So, let’s dive into some of the things that you can easily and effectively do to keep your “special spot” from feeling like it’s going through the fires of hell from now until the fall season officially arrives. The cool thing (pun intended) about each of these 12 tips is they are affordable, health-beneficial, and something that your vagina will be oh-so grateful that you decided to do. Hands down.
1. (Greek) Yogurt Popsicles
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C’mon. Is there anything more refreshing than a popsicle when you’re standing outside in the blazing sun? And when it specifically comes to doing your vagina good, a Greek yogurt one is gonna hit the spot every time. That’s because Greek yogurt is loaded with probiotics which not only help to keep your gut in great shape, it also produces a lot of “healthy bacteria” in your vagina so that you are able to significantly reduce the chances of experiencing any gynecological-related illnesses. As a bonus, Greek yogurt is full of protein, helps to boost your immune system, and it can keep your blood pressure where it ought to be as well.
(By the way, if you were wondering what the difference is between Greek yogurt and “regular” yogurt, Greek is prepared in a way where it has more protein and less sugar than regular yogurt, while regular yogurt has way more calcium.)
2. Vagina Popsicles Too
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As a doula, I learn a lot of hacks that can help in the vagina department. For instance, if you’ve been abstinent for a while and this is the summer when things are heating up in the bedroom, there is a bit of a vagina popsicle (if you will) that you can make. All you need to do is fill up a condom with some water and then put it in the freezer for about an hour. If you place that on your vulva after sex, it can provide some relief if you’re feeling a bit sore down below. A hack for the hack is to add some alcohol to the water if you’d prefer a “slushie” instead of a popsicle. This works because alcohol doesn’t fully freeze. Dope, right?
3. Watermelon
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If watermelon is one of your favorite fruits, May-September is the time of year to cop a couple of ‘em. Health-wise, watermelons are made up of mostly water which makes them a sweet and low-calorie treat that will keep you good and hydrated. Watermelon is also a pretty solid source of fiber, protein, and vitamin C, it contains anti-cancer properties, and it’s able to reduce bodily inflammation and oxidative stress. Plus, watermelon has nutrients in it that will keep your skin glowing and your muscles from aching (if you like to do a lot of physical activities around this time of the year).
Why is it such an awesome thing for your vagina? Well, watermelon is also a fruit that has electrolytes (like potassium) in it; electrolytes are helpful because they help to balance out your system, including your vagina’s pH — the more balanced it is, the healthier it will be.
4. Chilled Pantyliners
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This past spring, I penned “10 Essential Oils That Are Great For Feminine Hygiene (And A Few Other Things)” for the platform. Whether your vagina — well, vulva, which is the outer part of your vagina — feels itchy from wearing a swimsuit for hours on end, “she’s tender” from a recent sex romp, or you’re simply hot and looking for some soothing relief, something else that can help is spraying some water (preferably distilled because it has no impurities in it) onto a pantyliner and then adding a few drops of one of the essential oils (based on your vaginal health needs) onto the center of it. Freeze it for about 15-20 minutes, and then apply it to your underwear. Your vagina will be forever thankful for the all-natural relief.
5. Night-Before Shavings
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If you plan on spending some time in the water (any water), avoid shaving your pubic region on the same day. By doing it the night before, that gives your skin some time to heal and your pores the ability to close. Why is this necessary? Well, you never know what’s in that ocean water, swimming pool, or jacuzzi with you, so the more preventative measures that we all can avoid, the better. Also, spend at least 10 minutes in the shower or tub before shaving; you’ll get a much closer and more comfortable shave that way. Oh, and if you’d prefer to DIY your shaving oil, One Good Thing has a homemade recipe that you should check out here.
6. Chilled Aloe Vera Gel and Tea Tree Oil
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Speaking of shaving, if, for whatever reason, you end up with a nick or some razor burn, something that will bring a lot of healing and comfort is a combination of aloe vera gel and tea tree oil. Just put a teaspoon of the gel (preferably 100 pure or cutting open a stem from an aloe vera plant) and 2-3 drops of tea tree oil into a small bowl and chill it in the refrigerator for 30 minutes. Then apply it directly to where you have irritated skin. The vitamins A, B12, C, E, and antioxidants of the aloe vera, along with the anti-inflammatory and antiseptic properties of the oil, will work together to soothe your bikini line in record time.
7. Coconut Water
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You’re gonna need plenty of water to replenish your system this summer, and a form of water that will give you so much more than just hydration is coconut water. Even though it’s made up of 94 percent water, coconut water also has calcium, magnesium, and potassium in it. Not only that, but coconut water also contains antioxidants, is able to stabilize your blood sugar levels, and it’s even able to prevent kidney stones from occurring. What makes it good for your vagina is it also contains probiotics. This means that if you’re yeast infection-prone, it can help that to be one less thing that you need to worry about.
8. Citrus Salads
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Something else that is low in calories while being uber nutritious is a fresh citrus salad. Citrus fruits are bomb because they are full of water, fiber, antioxidants, and vitamin C. All of this works together to maintain your cognitive function, keep your heart strong and also keep cancer cells at bay. Your vagina will adore citrus fruits like oranges, grapefruits, and limes because the vitamin C in them not only helps your system to naturally produce the probiotic Lactobacillus (which is good bacteria), but both can also help treat and prevent bacterial vaginosis (BV) from a holistic angle.
9. Vitamin E and a Comb
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Not too long ago, someone was talking to me about how they wanted to grow out their pubic hair; however, they didn’t like how “hard” the hair seemed to feel. Listen, just washing the hair down below isn’t good enough; it needs to be conditioned too.
Something that you can apply that will deep condition your hair and not irritate your vulva is vitamin E oil. It’s a great moisturizer, can help to heal any razor bumps or minor cuts you might have, can help to minimize the appearance of scars or discoloration, and it can even help to keep your vagina looking youthful (because, yes, the skin down there typically ages too).
To get the best results, “seal your pubic hair” right after getting out of the bath or shower with the oil. Then use a comb to comb through your hair. It will help to distribute the oil evenly and work out any tangles that you might have (if that hair is long enough) — which will help to make your pubic hair so much softer to the touch.
10. Linen Panties
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Your vagina needs to breathe. That’s why it’s important to sleep naked at night and to wear panties that are designed to absorb moisture while also not making your vagina and vulva feel “trapped” throughout the day. You’ve probably heard that organic cotton is a wonderful option as far as underwear goes — and it is. However, an unsung material is linen. It’s also a breathable fabric. Not only that, but it’s antibacterial, super hygienic, and it even helps to increase healthy blood flow (how cool is that?!). Plus, it’s good for the environment, which is always a good thing. Amazon and Etsy are two places that carry these types of drawers. Go to either site and put “linen panties” in their search field.
11. Ironed Undies
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A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “When Should You Replace Underwear, Make-Up, Bedding, Washcloths & Towels?”. Check it out when you get a chance because when I tell you that there are some things that a lot of us tend to use far longer than we ever should…LAWD. Definitely, one that tops the list is underwear because, between fecal matter and other forms of bacteria, it really is time to replace panties every six months. In the meantime, if you want to keep your undies “extra sterilized”, ain’t nothin’ wrong with ironing the inside of them, on low heat, right after washing them. Straight up.
12. Frozen Sheets (Kind Of)
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Listen, I don’t know about y’all, but in my opinion, there aren’t too many things that are more annoying than waking up in the middle of the night feeling hot as literal hell. Something that can help to prevent this is putting your bed sheets into some plastic bags and freezing them for a couple of hours before putting them on your bed and turning in for the evening. Not only will you feel so much cooler (without causing your cooling bill to skyrocket), but you’ll also help to keep your vagina from sweating, which can oftentimes turn into a breeding ground for bad bacteria to thrive and a yeast infection to transpire, if you’re not careful.
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See. I told you that you’d get some tips that your vagina would be mighty appreciative of? So, which one are you gonna try first? Feel free to hop into the comments if you’ve got a few other hacks too. With this summer being one for the record books, all of our vaginas could use as many cool-down tips as possible. Goodness.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Bored With Your Partner's Body? 10 Tips To Breathe New Life Into Your Bedroom.
Recently, while checking out a movie, a wife said that she and her husband were trying to come up with creative things to do in the bedroom because, it wasn’t so much that their sex life had become boring, but “it is stale and repetitive” (which gee, sure does sound like a definition of boring to me — LOL). It’s not the first time I’ve heard that because some of my own clients in real life bring that very issue up from time to time.
What’s interesting about boredom, though, is a variety of things can be the root cause of it: a lack of interest, no sense of purpose, stress or anxiety or having a short attention span are some of the popular reasons. And that’s why, whenever a couple presents boredom to me, especially sexual boredom, I encourage them to figure out what they mean when they use the word. Knowing that can help to point them in the direction of what they need to do next (seeing a sex therapist might be the way to go — check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”).
Today? Today we’re gonna address another definition of boring: “monotonous or repetitive activities.” What should you do when, what you find to be boring is your partner’s body? It’s not because you don’t love them anymore or even that you don’t still enjoy intimacy with them — it’s just that you are in an exclusive (if you’re dating) or monogamous (if you’re married — check out “Why I Use The Word 'Monogamous' In Marriage And 'Exclusive' In Dating”) dynamic, what do you do when you kind of feel like the visuals are hella predictable which can make intimacy a bit…well, drab?
Listen, just because folks may not talk about it openly, that doesn’t mean that this isn’t a real issue. If it’s something that you’re currently experiencing right now — don’t feel bad or guilty. Sex has seasons just like almost everything in life. The key is to handle this season responsibly. These 10 tips are designed to help you to do that…so that you can get the excitement (of your partner’s body) back into your bedroom again.
1. Dress Up for Dates
Give pushback if you want to, yet it’s my personal opinion that the pandemic still has a chokehold on a lot of us when it comes to fashion — or the lack thereof. It’s like lockdown had us used to being in PJs and joggers for so long that far too many people are still struggling to actually dress up. That’s a shame too because if you wanna see our people show up and all the way out, put a woman in a little black dress and a man in a tailored suit. WHEW.
And just what does that have to do with today’s topic? Well, think about gifts that you’ve received in the past. What made them more appealing? When someone just handed them to you out of a shopping bag or when they made the time to “dress them up” in some fancy wrapping paper or a gift bag and some pretty tissue paper? Our bodies are similar because, well, just think about it — no matter how often you’ve seen your man with no clothes on, when he’s all dressed up, doesn’t he turn into a level of fine that makes him super sexy and hella appealing again?
That’s why my first tip would be for the two of you to not just go out on dates more than you currently are but to DRESS UP for them too. Seeing how good he looks in his clothes in public can motivate you to want to take them off in private.
2. Schedule a Professional Photoshoot and Post Them in Your Bedroom
Since a fair amount of my friends are entertainment industry folks, they are good for taking professional pictures. No, I don’t mean asking someone to use their phone to capture them while they are on stage. I mean that they schedule a photoshoot with a reputable photographer — and you know what? As much as I see some of these people, I continue to be awed by what photographers can bring out of them…hell, just with the lighting alone.
The same thing can happen for how you see your man. Yep, book a photoshoot — one that consists of consulting with the photographer about what your partner would look best in. Once the shoot is done, go through the pictures, select 1-4 of your faves, blow them up a bit, and then mount or frame them in your bedroom. Walking into the space where you probably have the most sex and seeing him at his best is the type of visual turn-on that is absolutely underrated.
3. Go “All Out Sexy” in the Bedroom
Sometimes the truth hurts and if you and your partner have been going to bed looking like who-shot-what, chances are, you’re not bored, what you are is low-key irritated — and you absolutely should be. The reality is most of us spend at least 6-8 hours a night in bed and if someone is in there with us, we should stop acting like they don’t want something appealing to look at. So, this coming weekend, y’all should make some time to hop online and select some attractively seductive sleepwear. It doesn’t always have to be a lace teddy for you or expensive silk boxers for him but damn, at least a really cute tank and booty shorts for you and some boxer briefs that are in your favorite color for him. Sex or not…tease each other a lil’ bit. Visually.
4. Play Around with Lighting
Personally, I find myself doing more online shopping and then altering whatever doesn’t fit the way that I like. A part of the reason why I prefer going this route is because the lighting that’s in a lot of stores? Oh, how they suck. Yeah, lighting can really alter our perception of so many things — which is why changing your lighting also makes the list of what you can do if you are in a season of being bored with your partner’s body. See how he looks under candlelight. See how he looks as a “red light special” (shout-out to TLC’s song and visual and how well actor Boris Kodjoe is aging — the real ones know).
LED lights that sync up to music? Those are bomb as well. I’m telling you, I don’t care how much of a “rerun” it might be, a Black man in some cool blue or warm gold lighting is sexy, sexy, sexy…and then some.
5. Use Blindfolds (More Often)
When you get a chance, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.” Then afterwards, pick up a couple of (more) blindfolds. Part of the reason why blindfolds are such a staple for foreplay (especially) is because, when one of your five senses — sight, touch, hearing, taste, and sound — is subdued, that ends up amplifying the other four that remain (more on that in a bit). And chile, when you’re blindfolded during sex, not only does it increase anticipation about whatever is coming your way, but it can also help your imagination to run wild — and that can be quite the aphrodisiac.
6. Give Erotic Massages
When it comes to sex, specifically, something that I appreciate about the art of the massage is it encourages people to focus on not-so-common parts of the body (a common one? Check out “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage”). For instance, sensual massages are all about slowing down and using your hands to not only focus on one part/area of someone else’s body but to do some exploring too.
And even though the main purpose of an erotic massage is to touch the parts of your partner that will turn them on, it’s still a massage that is all about touching lightly, using body parts other than your hands, and exploring new ways to turn your partner on. Since giving a massage is a way to encourage you to exercise a bit of restraint, that can “build you up” to have the desire to indulge in your partner’s body more — whether you’ve experienced it dozens of times before or not.
7. Explore Other Erogenous Zones
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” isn’t exactly a motto that I would recommend for the bedroom. The main reason why is because, if you’re not careful, it can cause you to become pretty lazy on the sexual tip — and that is never good. That being said if you’re at the point where you’re feeling a bit bored with your partner’s body, this (probably) means that you both have learned “which buttons to push” when it comes to sexually pleasing one another.
And that means it’s time to explore some new territory. If you already know their favorite erogenous zones, determine in your mind to learn some different ones — some “uncharted territory,” if you will. Healthline once published an article that said there are a little over 30 different ones out here. Can you honestly say that you’ve tested each and every one of those out? C’mon now.
8. Focus on Your Other Four Senses
Looking at your partner’s body only covers one of the five senses: sight. Okay, but what efforts are you putting into hearing, touching, tasting, and smelling? For hearing, how’s y’all’s dirty talk game been lately? Touch? Bring in different sex toys and fabrics to see what can cultivate new sensations. Tasting? Well, read “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious” and then try something new.
Smell? Scents that have been proven to be sexually arousing include jasmine, vanilla, rose, sandalwood, patchouli, cinnamon, and a blend of pumpkin and lavender (especially if they’re placed in erogenous-zoned spots). Honing in on the other senses can make you appreciate sight more. Try it. I think that you will like it.
9. Think of Their “Best” Body Part. Have Sex in That Position.
No matter how often you’ve seen his body before, I’m willing to bet that you’ve got a favorite part. Think about it and then figure out which sex position will give you the best view of it. If it’s his chest, get on top. If it’s his legs, fellatio counts as sex because oral sex is sex. If it’s his torso, have him penetrate you while he’s standing up. I could expound yet y’all get my drift.
And if I didn’t mention your favorite part, check out SheKnows’s “69 Sex Positions to Put on Your Bucket List Immediately” to get some inspiration — because how can you not see his body as eye candy when you’re looking at the part of it you like the most as you’re receiving all kinds of pleasure. Whew.
10. Record a Session (or Two)
Ever made a sex tape before? Although I will be the first to say that you need to exercise extreme discretion when it comes to this tip — if you’ve been having sex with someone long enough to experience bouts of boredom with their body, I’m assuming that you’ve built up some trust over time (right?). Anyway, something that’s sexy about a sex tape is it can help you to see you and your partner from another angle/perspective — and that also can be pretty damn appealing. So, if it’s something that the two of you have never tried…try it. Looking at the two of you enjoying each other can give you a greater appreciation for his body — and what it has the ability to do to you.
BONUS: Ask Yourself If You’re “Bored” or “Not Attracted”
It’s kind of a full-circle moment with this one because, as I bring this to a close, I’ve got to put on record that it really is one thing to be bored — another entirely to not be attracted. Case in point — when it comes to one of my exes, the sex itself was actually pretty good. Still, I had to kind of “force myself” sometimes through it because I wasn’t very attracted to him…not ever really (you’d be amazed how much that can happen when you like the person’s personality and not so much their looks).
Although I will NEVER put myself in that position again, sometimes people are so invested in their relationship that they don’t just want to end it due to this alone. If that is what you are going through, please speak with a therapist/counselor/life coach. Depending on how deep the issues go, they may be able to provide you with some tips and tools to make things easier.
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One thing about boredom is that creativity can totally help it out. And what this means is a part of what creates boredom is laziness (ouch) or a lack of intention. And what this means is if you’re willing to do something about the current state of boredom that you are going through, there is a big chance that you can get rid of it. No matter what the cause of it may be.
Try the steps. Report back. Something tells me that you might feel better about things in your bedroom.
Just a hunch.
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