One thing about being a "godmommy" and "love auntie" (which are nieces who came through love, not blood) is your “girls” will be asking you all kinds of stuff that they may not necessarily feel comfortable asking their mom about. And, for better or for worse, I am at the season where a lot of mine are either preteens or full-blown teenagers (Lord, where does the time go?!), so here come all of the random emails, texts, and phone calls. And, for whatever the reason, a burning topic right now has been pubic hair — whether to keep it and/or what to exactly do with it.
Personally, I am Team Pubic Hair. It makes sex more comfortable by reducing the sometimes uncomfortable friction that comes from intercourse. It can reduce the transmission of bacteria if you happen to have tiny abrasions around your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) or pubic mound. It can even intensify sexual activity since pubic hair tends to carry pheromones.
Yet just because I’m all about keeping the hair that naturally grows in that area around, that doesn’t mean that I don’t think that some intentional and consistent grooming shouldn’t be going down in the process. And since there are a few different routes that we all can take in that department, I want to share some of the options that I told my girls — with a heads up to their mamas, of course — about, along with the benefits and potential challenges that come with each of ‘em.
The Pros & Cons of Trimming Your Pubic Hair
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PROS: So long as you have the proper tools (either some facial hair shears because they have rounded tips that are safer or an electric trimmer that’s specifically designed for pubic hair), probably the greatest pros with trimming your pubic hair is that it’s cheap and convenient as all get out. You can do it from the comfort (and privacy) of your own home at any time you feel the need.
CONS: As someone who trims sometimes in between appointments, one con is it can be hard to see what you’re doing; not only that, but feeling around can take for-e-ver. Also, if you’re gonna go with an electric trimmer, you should make sure to oil the blades before and after each trim; otherwise, you run a high chance of the blade snagging some of your hairs or nicking you — and trust me, both really suck.
Definitely rinse the blade thoroughly to reduce the risk of bacteria and bumps (especially if you’re going for a close trim) and replace the blades on your trimmer every 3-4 months; that way, they don’t get dull.
The Pros & Cons of Shaving Your Pubic Hair
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PROS: If you want to clean up your bikini line completely and you want to do so while keeping some coins in your pocket, shaving is a way to go. It’s something else that’s relatively easy to do at home and, so long as you get a really good razor (word on the street is Schick Women’s Quattro Razor Exotic Violet Blooms is a great one), it can have your bikini line looking and feeling baby soft smooth. Just make sure to dampen your skin, apply a shaving gel or cream first, or, if you’d prefer a more natural alternative, go with something along the lines of coconut or olive oil or even some aloe vera gel.
CONS: I still shave my legs (not really sure why, now that I think about it; I should probably get those waxed), and while it’s cool for the most part, the most annoying thing is how fast the stubble starts to come back; same point applies to shaving pubic hair. Plus, if you want an extra close shave and you decide to go against the grain, that significantly increases your chances of experiencing razor bumps and the scars that can come from them, which can be a low-key nightmare.
You can avoid this by never going against the grain, applying gentle pressure as you shave, and re-wetting your razor every 2-3 strokes. Another con? If you decide to remove all of your pubic hair this way, the growing out process can be a mutha. The itchiness alone, chile? Hard pass.
The Pros & Cons of Using Hair Removal Cream for Your Pubic Hair
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PROS: If you want a pubic hair removal method that is fast, inexpensive, and easy to do yourself, another option is going with a hair removal cream like Nair. Since it’s painless and even removes hair right beneath the surface, this method typically lasts longer than shaving.
Word on the street is that depilatories (another name for hair removal) can also help to make your hair grow back softer with consistent use (although some studies say that they actually increase the amount of hair follicles in mice). Also, since no razors are involved, you don’t have to worry about unsightly ingrown hairs becoming an issue.
CONS: I’ve got a girlfriend who has been Nair-ing her pubic region for basically all of her adult life — not just her bikini line either; she gets rid of it all. According to her, the smell of the Nair and the minor skin burns that can come from leaving the cream on too long (if you’re not careful) are her biggest issues. When it comes to the stench, a baking soda rinse can help. When it comes to the burn, just make sure to follow the directions to a T.
The Pros & Cons of Waxing Your Pubic Hair
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PROS: I’ve been waxing for several years now, and it really is one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made. Although I do like some evidence of being out of puberty being down below (pretty sure you can read below, well, I mean between the lines there), it has been the perfect solution for my bikini line. That’s because, since waxing pulls your pubic hair from its roots, when this consistently transpires, it not only damages those hair follicles, it can alter the texture of your pubic hair as well as cause it to become thinner and quite possibly stop growing altogether after a couple of years (of regular treatment).
Not only that, but as you’re waiting for all of this to happen, you can oftentimes go between 2-5 weeks before needing to wax that area all over again.
CONS: If you want someone to lie to you and say that waxing isn’t painful to some and highly comfortable to others (like me), I ain’t the one, chile. Listen, it took me a solid nine months (give or take a couple of appointments) to get to where waxing wasn’t annoying the mess outta me. One thing that helped was having my waxer apply some oil to my bikini line before applying the wax; that way, the wax is pulling on the hair and less on my actual skin. Another potential con is it’s not as inexpensive as the other options I’ve already talked about, especially if you’re gonna go to a professional spa or salon.
Oh, and if you’ve somehow convinced yourself that DIY’ing it will be easier, chile, naw. Usually, that takes even longer because it can take quite a bit of trial and error to find a comfortable wax (and temperature). Plus, most women don’t take the “just rip off the Band-Aid” approach to pulling wax strips off in the way that professionals do. And that pull-ouch-pull-ouch dance can take hours out of your day. Yes, literally.
The Pros & Cons of Sugaring Your Pubic Hair
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PROS: I’ve been rockin’ with my waxer for quite some time now. Yet when she was out of commission for a season, I had to find someone to be her temporary stand-in. What I landed on was someone who does sugaring. If you’re not familiar with what that is, sugaring is all about mixing sugar, lemon, and water together to create a paste that is similar to wax in order to get rid of unwanted hair.
The major perks with sugaring are the ingredients are all-natural, some say it’s less painful than waxing because it doesn’t actually stick to the skin (I’d say it’s a bit more comfortable), and it can eventually lead to permanent hair loss. Another thing worth noting about sugaring is you can keep going over the same area without worrying about damaging your skin. That makes sense, considering that the sugar solution doesn’t attach itself to it in the same way that waxing does.
Oh, and because it is an all-natural method that requires very few ingredients, sugaring is also something that you can do at home. A video that can help you out is located here.
CONS: All in all, I only have one con when it comes to sugaring. Because it sometimes doesn’t “catch” the hairs on the first or even second try, sometimes the end result isn’t as baby smooth as I would personally prefer. I’ve also noticed that sometimes sugaring doesn’t result in clean lines like waxing strips do. Yet that second con can oftentimes be mastered with a bit of practice. Either way, if you’ve always wondered if it truly is an effective way to remove body hair, it is. One that has less chemicals than wax too.
The Pros & Cons of Laser Hair Removal for Your Pubic Hair
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PROS: If you’re going for a longer-lasting approach to pubic hair removal (after 4-6 visits, you will probably only need to remove your pubic hair every couple of years), lasering can make that happen. Many experts say that you will need to go somewhere around five times, spaced four weeks apart, in order to receive lasting results. And as far as other benefits go, lasering is quick (usually around 15 minutes per session), is typically less painful than even waxing or sugaring, can help to even out your skin tone while removing unwanted hairs, and avoids the end result of ingrown hairs that can come from tweezing and/or shaving.
CONS: Imma tell you, off the rip, what will keep me from trying this option is the cost. It would be one thing if I could knock out all of the hair in one visit; however, since it isn’t a permanent form of hair removal for most, $300 a session (minimum) is too steep for my blood. Also, there are some professionals who say that it’s not the best option for deeply melanated skin, and if your skin is naturally dry, laser hair removal could make matters worse instead of better.
The Pros & Cons of Electrolysis for Your Pubic Hair Removal
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PROS: If you’re someone who has used electrolysis to remove pubic hair before, please jump into the comments and tell us how the experience was because there’s something about a probe (usually in the form of a tiny needle) going into my skin that doesn’t exactly sound like a trip to Six Flags. Nonetheless, I have read and researched that electrolysis is a win if you’re looking for a hair removal method that requires no downtime, can work on all skin types, and can be done even if you happen to be on your period or are pregnant. Plus, the process is relatively quick (between 15-60 minutes, depending on how much hair you’re removing), and the risk of infection is quite low.
CONS: To say that you won’t feel anything during the procedure is a stretch. Some folks say it feels like an annoying tingle, while others have shared that it’s mildly uncomfortable. A workaround for that is some numbing cream that your electrologist can apply because you will probably feel it more than laser treatments plus, you will have to have more sessions before all of the hair is completely gone. Electrolysis also isn’t cheap; each session will land you somewhere between $50-200.
Bonus: The Pros & Cons of Dyeing for Your Pubic Hair
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Between these huge breast-es-sis of mine and me quite frankly, not being as limber as a sistah used to be, I don’t see all of the gray hair developments that my waxer LOVES to point out are transpiring down below. When I have taken a mirror down there to see what’s up, I’m fine with it (now…LOL).
Yet, if you’re not when it comes to your own pubic hair, there are dyes that you can try. Personally, I would recommend going with an option that is specifically designed for pubic hair, like the Betty Beauty line (here) or the MiniKINI Colour line (here) because they contain ingredients that will reduce the risk of irritation.
Me? I trim my pubic hair far too often for dyeing it to even make sense. Besides, a grown vagina is a blessed one, gray hairs ‘n all. All good, chile. All good.
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There you have it: a cheat sheet on how to keep your own pubic hair right where and how you want it to be. Feel free to hop in the comments and share what works best for you and why. Knowledge is power…even when it comes to our hair that’s down below.
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Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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