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Vaginas Are Like Plants. Here's What I Mean By That.
A couple of years ago, while in a session with a married couple, the husband was sharing that he wished that his wife was more comfortable with having sex during daytime hours. When I asked her to break down her hesitation, she said, “It’s weird. When it’s dark, he can get me to do just about anything, but in the light, I’m just not that confident.” When I inquired if she meant when it came to her body, she said, “No, it’s more like my vagina. Beyond washing it and getting pap smears, I don’t really know what’s going on down there. I’m a bit self-conscious.”
Honestly, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a woman say something along those lines. It’s like, aside from peeing, periods, and intercourse, too many of us don’t give our vaginas very much thought at all — and that’s not good.
The solution? It’s in the title of this article. For years now, my motto has been to treat my vagina like a plant and watch how it flourishes. If that kinda-sorta makes sense to you in theory, yet you’d like me to break it all down just a bit more — sure. I’d be more than happy to, sis.
Water It
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Most of us learned in, what, elementary school that over 60 percent of our body is made up of water. And even though I am well aware of this fact, I will be the first to say that water (drinking it, that is) is not my favorite thing on the planet. I always describe it as “wet air” — just boring ass fluid.
Yet, isn’t it interesting that, just like plants need water in order for seeds to germinate and leaves to stay alive, our vaginas need water to 1) create natural lubrication so that sex is more comfortable; 2) to help to flush toxins out of it, and 3) to keep cervical mucus in great condition so that it’s easier to conceive a child.
And just how much water does “she” need in order to keep all of this going strong? Although most of us grew up hearing eight glasses a day, many studies are now saying that somewhere between 4-6 will get the job done. And what if you’re like me and you’re not a fan of H2O? Barely flavored sparkling water (like Bubly or Waterloo) with some fresh lemon or lime juice or even one-third of juice mixed in can make consuming agua so much easier to do. Your vagina will thank you. The rest of your body will too.
Feed It
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A big mistake that a lot of novice plant owners make is assuming that, so long as they water their plants and put them in a window to get some sun, it's all good. Nope. There are certain nutrients that plants need as well, so if you've got one and it seems to be struggling a bit, you might want to give it some nitrogen (to create chlorophyll), some magnesium (it helps with the whole photosynthesis process) and some potassium (to keep any plant-related diseases at bay). As far as your vagina goes, it needs to "eat well," too. To see a list of things that you should consume, check out "The Foods Your Vagina's Been Craving."
As far as the ones that you should be avoiding, "Here's What Your Vagina Wishes You Would Eat LESS Of" has you covered. For now, I'll just say that berries are your vagina's friend because the acid in them will help to keep infections like urinary tract infections (UTIs) from becoming an issue; plus, they are great at decreasing your chances of experiencing a yeast infection as well.
“Prune” It
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One day, I really need to pen something for the platform about how it's important to do pruning in one's life on a consistent basis in order to flourish. For now, when it comes to the tree, shrub, flower, and plant world, pruning is all about getting rid of diseased and damaged foliage that hinders greenery from thriving.
When it comes to your vagina, I'm actually thinking about pubic hair on this one. Even though pubic hair has trends, and there are still women who continue to go without any at all, it really does need to go and stay on record that hair down there serves a purpose. It helps to reduce friction from your clothes while working out and during sex. It can help to protect you from STDs and other infections (to a certain extent; still use condoms, tho). It can also amplify pheromones which can make for a really good time as far as sexual activity goes.
So, where does the pruning come in? Well, even if you're someone who likes to go the full-on bush route, still make sure to give your pubic hair a trim from time to time. Any hair that has some length on it needs to have errand hairs and split ends (yep, pubic hair can get those, too) removed. Also, look (and/or feel) around for ingrown hairs that need to be tweezed out (they can be the worst!). I can't leave this point without saying that pruning can also make oral sex for/with your partner much more pleasant. Hey, don't take my word for it. Ask them.
Talk to It
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If you're someone who thinks that people who talk to their plants are crazy, you might want to do more Googling. There is something known as "sound science," and it actually backs up that when plants have someone verbally engaging them, it can help them to grow faster. In fact, the ranges of tone in a woman's voice increases their chances even more than a man's voice does.
Am I about to roll up in here and say that you should talk to your va-jay-jay too? You already know. I mean, at least feel good about talking about it (you know, to your partner, your physician, and even your friends based on the issue and context). If that's something that you've never really considered doing before, check out an article I wrote a while back entitled "Why 'Vaginal Mapping' Needs To Be Part Of Your Healing Journey."
Doing things like looking at your vagina, speaking your thoughts out loud, and journaling some things as well can boost your self-confidence about that part of your body. It can also help to release some mental and emotional walls that you may have built up that you didn't even consider…because you never thought to interact with your vagina on that type of level before.
Give It Some Vitamin D
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Plants need sunlight. The main reason is that there is a process that plants go through known as photosynthesis in which, thanks to the help of the sun, it is able to make its own food. Listen, unless you’re cool with being naked outdoors, there’s a pretty good chance that your vagina won’t be taking in many natural sun rays. That doesn’t mean that it can’t benefit from something that the sun offers, though — Vitamin D.
When it comes to your vaginal health specifically, Vitamin D is awesome because it helps to prevent vaginal dryness. Plus, it can make going through menopause a lot easier. Foods that are high in this particular nutrient include salmon, tuna, fortified orange juice, egg yolks, mushrooms, dairy, and dark leafy greens. By the way, you can also take it in supplement form.
Word on the street is a combination of vitamins D3 and B12 can help to keep your tummy on the flatter side. #dopeness
Give It Some Space Too
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I’ve got a little love sister who has a ton of plants inside her tiny apartment. Some are growing by leaps and bounds, while others are limp and looking like they are basically on their last leg. I’ve been trying to tell her that overcrowding does them no good, but you know — some folks choose to learn the hard way.
And yes, vaginas also need some space. I could go real deep and talk about how seasons of abstinence ain’t neva hurt nobody; however, what I’m really talking about here is sleeping naked. When we’re wearing clothes all day long, it’s a good idea to give your vagina a break at night because, since it’s already moist and warm down there and because that is a breeding ground for bad bacteria in your vagina to grow, it needs air in order to “dry out” a bit and to also regulate its own temperature.
Since sleeping naked can also improve your quality of sleep, reduce stress levels and even lower your risk for diabetes — how can it not be a win, all the way around, to roll around in your birthday suit tonight (hell, every night)?
Properly Maintenance It
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Other things that plants need include good air circulation, to be put into the right kind of soil and to be in the proper temperature (for house plants, somewhere between 65-75 degrees) — bottom line, what they also need is routine maintenance.
Vaginas are no different. If you want yours to remain healthy, it’s important that you:
- Not douche (that throws its pH off)
- Avoid products that contain heavy perfumes (those can irritate it)
- Wash your bedding on a weekly basis (lots of dead skin cells are in sheets)
- Change your razors if you shave down below (every 5-7 shaves is ideal)
- Wear cotton panties more than ones made with synthetic fibers or thongs (again, the space thing) and get new drawers every 6-12 months
- Try to urinate after sex (to flush out bacteria)
- See your gynecologist on an annual basis (even if you don’t need a pap)
- Wash your sex toys after every use (and avoid ones made out of the chemicals listed here)
- Use condoms if you’re not in an exclusive long-term relationship
- Use all-natural lubrication (or make your own)
FULLY ACCEPT IT
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Did you know that, reportedly, there are almost 400,000 different species of plants in the world? This speaks to a wide variety of uniqueness and distinction. Well, there are billions of humans, and although vaginas all basically work the same way, each one has its own “signature” that makes them especially special too.
So, no matter what your vagina — more specifically here, your vulva, which is the outer part of your vagina — may look like, just like a plant accepts itself and flourishes, commit to following its example. It’s rare, it’s a sacred space, and it’s yours…and that’s enough to make it completely and totally bomb. Amen? Exactly.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Mariee Revere On Her History-Making Million-Dollar Sales And The Future Of MoonXCosmetics
If the name Mariee Revere sounds familiar, it's probably because you heard of her beauty and skincare brand, MoonXCosmetics, or you may have heard about her history-making achievement of making $1.8 million in less than eight minutes. But before starting her million-dollar brand, Mariee was just a teenager trying to cure her acne.
While she grew up in the skincare capital of the world, South Korea, Mariee didn't really experience breakouts until her senior year of high school. Like many people who get their first breakout, she didn't know what to do, and there weren't many products out there at that time. So she decided to experiment. What she didn't know was that what she came up with would ultimately be her ticket to success.
"When I graduated high school, I moved back to America, Georgia, and I ended up making, like, the oil, the Rose Galore oil, which is like the staple product of my brand. I don't know what made me make it, but I did, and it literally cleared my face up," she tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview.
"I end up selling it as a body oil first because, obviously, I'm 17, [and] don't have any background as an esthetician or anything like that. I just made a product that worked for me, but people bought it and was using it, and I reformulated it, and then it just stuck like with me."
While MoonXCosmetics is known for its facial products, it wants to expand to body care and home. It just released its new product, Moon-Gel body wash, and it's only up from there. As Mariee continues to grow the brand, it's more than likely that she will see more history-making moments. And so far she has.
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When asked if she feels pressure to obtain more of those milestones, she says yes and no. "I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more," she says.
"I want to say more reach than more like fast-paced sales. I do want that. Obviously, every girl wants that, but I do want to have a better overall reach for my brand because I did take two years off so I was able to learn, [and] study a lot of different things. See how things have changed from 2020 to now."
"I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more."
Another part of expanding for any company is hiring people. Finding the right person to help you can be a hassle, especially for business owners who are used to doing all the work themselves. Mariee can relate to this, and she touched on this topic in her documentaryThe Million Dollar Story. She recommends having someone be your "right-hand man" who you trust to handle the ins and outs of the company.
"I could say, definitely get, like a right-hand man to help you within the process because that really was what helped me. I never had a job. I literally was 18 now, being like, you know, the boss of over 30+ employees at one point in time, and I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about no W-2s, no taxes, no clock in, clock out because all I [have] ever known was my brand," she explains.
"So I definitely partner with people who are very skewed and versed in those areas, and they helped me get through it. Even to this day, I still have my same person helping me with hiring, firing, [and] doing everything that I can right now because I'm still learning. But obviously people get jobs young, so they have way more experience than me, but still learning."
And though she is still learning, one thing she makes sure to stay on top of is being consistent. Consistency is what trips many people up when it comes to achieving goals, but Mariee says it's all about scheduling. Whether it's when to post on social media or email marketing, scheduling it out can make a world of difference. That same practice also works when planning out her future goals for the company.
"Right now, future goals would be to drop at least five more products before the end of the year. We always do outreach, where we do drives and all that, but definitely do way more this year, she says. "Then really dive into body [care], and then hopefully open up MoonXBody underneath MoonXCosmetics to let that branch out and be open and definitely get back consistent."
For more information, visit moonxco.com.
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