Condoms. These days, I must admit, whenever I think about them in the context of pop culture, I'm pretty sure you know whose name immediately pops into my head. Without—eh hem—naming any names, you know, someone really can control the way their future turns out if they would simply choose to wear them more often. And actually, that's what this article is all about in a nutshell. While I was one day reading some semi-fascinating facts on condoms (like the fact that they were invented in 1855 and the first ones were made out of linen), I figured it would be cool to share some facts on this particular kind of birth control; especially since it's absolutely one of the best ways to prevent a pregnancy you may not want while also keeping you from getting a sexually transmitted infection (what you get before an actual disease) or disease (what you get once you've been properly diagnosed).
Not that any of the following points are earth-shattering information or anything. But since currently there are around 110 million people in America with an STI right at this very moment, the more you know about condoms, the better. Right?
So, let's hit 10 points about 'em real quick.
1. There Are over 10 Different Kinds of Condoms
If you're not a big condom fan because, to you, they are synonymous with being boring AF, believe it or not, they do have an upside. Variety. In fact, there are actually more than 10 different types of condoms for you to choose from. There are flavored condoms (which should be strictly used for oral sex), ribbed or studded condoms (which can help you to have more intense vaginal orgasms), warming condoms (these are made of a thinning latex so that you and your partner can feel each other's body heat easier), Sensis condoms (long story short, they have ribs/strips that make it easier to put and keep a condom on), and even glow-in-the-dark condoms—and that's just the tip of the iceberg (no pun intended)! So, if you want to switch things up, add some of these—and others—to your condom collection. Doing so might help you to see rubbers differently.
2. Condom Size DOES Matter
I am floored by how many guys I know who don't know what size condom they wear. To them, all they need to do is walk into a drugstore, pick out a box and it's all good. Yeah…naw. Since penises come in a variety of sizes, wouldn't it make sense that rubbers would too?
It really wouldn't surprise me in the least if, one of the main reasons why a lot of people hate them is because the condoms they're using are too big or too small. That's why it's important to know which one best fits your man at all times. By the way, if he needs a little help, "Condom Size Chart to Help You Find the Right Choice" is a pretty informative read.
3. Condoms Can Last…for a While
There are a lot of people in this world who keep condoms in their possession well past their expiration date (which is on the box, by the way). If you're wondering if you're one of them, if you've got some rubbers in a drawer somewhere and, for whatever the reason, you don't see it's "time's up" date, just keep in mind that condoms are able to last for about four years. Well, so long as they are stored in a cool, dry spot, that is. If it's been longer than that, toss 'em.
4. Female Condoms Aren’t Quite As Effective
If you'd prefer to take matters into your own hands and want to go with a female condom (which is a lubricated pouch that's made out of synthetic rubber that you can put into your vagina up to eight hours prior to having sex), it's important to know that it's not as effective as a standard condom is. If you use it perfectly, it's 95 percent effective (not bad); however, on average, its success rate is somewhere between 72-85 percent. While you can get one without a prescription, it doesn't affect your natural hormone levels (like birth control pills do) and it's safe to use with both oil and water-based lubricant (which is pretty cool), due to the material that it's made out of it, it does tend to irritate quite a few vaginas and vulvas out here. Just so you're not one of them, you might want to speak with your doctor first if this is the route you want to take.
Oh, and if you've never used a female condom before and you're wondering how to get one up into your body, it's a lot like using a menstrual cup. The condom itself comes with a soft and flexible ring around each end and, when you insert it inside of you, it helps to keep sperm from going up into your body and coming into contact with your uterus. You can see a brief instructional video on how to use it here.
5. There Is Absolutely No Point or Purpose in “Double Bagging”
While there used to be a time when condoms only covered the head of a man's penis (I'm pretty sure you can guess how well that went), avoiding having too little coverage is not a good reason to go overboard. In other words, you are not "super protected" by having your man put on two condoms. Not only does that make sex less pleasurable for him and possibly more vaginally irritating for you, but you also significantly up the chances of either one of the condoms breaking, or worse, one of them getting stuck inside of you. Yeah, take a total pass on the double bagging whole double bagging thing. It's useless.
6. You Don’t Have to Go to the Drugstore If You Don’t Want To
Do you hate to go out shopping for rubbers? Yeah, I used to hate doing that too. These days, you can easily order them online, though. Companies like LELO HEX, Undercover Condoms and Condom Depot all have an impressive variety of condoms, at good prices, that ship quickly—and very discreetly.
7. Women’s Pleasure Isn’t Affected by Condom Use (Sort Of)
OK, this one is a little tricky. On one hand, while there are studies out in cyberspace that emphatically profess that condoms have no barring on a woman's sexual pleasure, there are articles like, "Women Don't Like How Condoms Feel Any More Than Men Do" that claim "not so fast". Personally, I think a lot of factors play into all of this. Is the "woman in question" allergic to latex (if so, there are safe and effective alternatives)? Does the condom fit correctly? Is there some sort of psychological barrier that makes her think that sex with a condom is automatically worse than sex without?
I will say that I do think that anyone who is trying to get as close to their partner as possible, in every way, would probably prefer to go without using a rubber. But when you stop and think about the fact the condoms prevent unplanned pregnancies, STIs/STDs, and can actually help a man to last longer in bed, it seems to me that using them is more pleasurable because they can maintain the quality of life you want and help you to have orgasms more often. (Here's hoping, anyway.)
8. There Are a Few Ways to Make Condoms Feel Better to Him
If your man is not a condom fan because he doesn't like the way it feels (in one interview, a guy told me that condoms feel like shaking someone's hand with a baseball glove on your own), there are two things that can make it better on his end. First, putting no more than a couple of drops of silicone-based lubricant in the reservoir tip of the condom can keep it from feeling dry (and more like he's inside of you without any barrier). Also, it can help for you and yours to try out different brands and textures of rubbers. A good starting point would be Men's Health's feature, "The 10 Best Feeling Condoms for Pleasure".
9. Yes, Magnums Are an Ego-Boosting Joke
Two marketing ploys that people totally fell for are diamond engagement rings (you can read more about that here) and Magnum condoms. As far as Magnums go, I think every woman who's ever had protected sex before has been with a man who believes he's "worthy" of rockin' a Magnum. Why does this bring guys so much pride and joy? It's because they were fooled into thinking that they are for men with big packages when the reality is, only the XL ones apply to men who are "above average" (which is around 5" erect). When it comes to all of the other types of Magnums, they can basically accommodate five inches or more which isn't actually about a member that is "unusually great in size", like the word "magnum" suggests. Yep, the jokes on you, fellas. Sorry.
10. Less Folks Are Using Condoms Than You’d Probably Think
Even though, when used correctly, condoms are around 98 percent effective (we're human, so, on average, they are actually around 85 percent effective), surprisingly, only about one-third of people use them. Yep. You heard me right. Several years back, when some researchers interviewed 11,300 women and more than 9,300 men, they discovered that only 24 percent of women and 34 percent of men put a rubber on during their last sex session.
Again, while I get why and how condom-less sex is probably the preferred sex of choice, there is simply no way around the fact that if you want to not have a kid right now, you want to avoid getting a sexually transmitted disease or you want to have sex with someone before getting each other's test results (try and avoid that, please), a rubber is gonna be your best bet. You can literally feel better about using them if you take all of these points into consideration before picking a box out. Making this present decision is something that your future will thank you for. Unlike some other people's…futures (wink, wink).
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RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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