Growing up, I remember always gravitating toward the melanated ladies in movies, plays, and shows. In one of my favorite movies, Clueless, I didn't want to be Cher, I wanted to be Dion (it's hella weird to like your stepbrother anyway). I never cheered for the Toros, I liked the East Compton Clovers. I couldn't stand Angelica's bad ass, it was #teamSusie every time. And to this day, I've never seen an episode of Friends, but I can certainly quote all of Maxine Shaw, attorney-at-law.
I guess you could say in a society where we aren't always in the forefront, I understood at a very young age, that representation matters.
And because of this, I always welcomed a means for celebrating Black actresses, specifically rising Black actresses under 30. They're the ones to watch for, the ones who will impact the upcoming generations most. They're not as seasoned as the queens Taraji, Sanaa, Phylicia, or either of the Reginas, but they certainly have something to say.
So, from Netflix to theaters, here's a list of Black actresses under 30 that we need to know in 2020:
China Anne McClain
China Anne McClain is an ATLien born and raised and is best known for her roles as little Jazmine Payne in Tyler Perry's House of Payne and China James in Daddy's Little Girls. She also stars as Lightning in the CW's Black Lightning. China may only be 22, but she has been capturing the hearts of viewers for over 15 years as 1/3 of the Disney kid adorable sister trio, The McClain sisters, who are all top Black actresses under 30.
And make no mistake, China is all grown up and has now found her niche audience of loyal followers through TikTok.
On working with Tyler Perry:
"When I was working with Tyler Perry, and I've worked with him starting when I was around 7, watching him, I realized that I can be nice—because, like I said, I'm from the south and that's naturally what I want to be. I want everybody to be comfortable. But at the same time, do not change yourself for anybody. I really respect that about Mr. Perry and it's something that I know that he didn't know I picked up from watching him. But his demeanor in general is just, like, he is who he is. And at this point I've adopted that feeling. But at the same time, don't sacrifice my morals, my values, who I am. I don't have to change myself, you know?"
Her most recent venture is starring alongside Adam Sandler for the third time (Grown Ups, Grown Ups 2) in the family comedy, Hubie Halloween. But one of my favorite little-known facts about her career is she sings the theme song to the Disney show, Doc McStuffins.
Despite the 'rona, McClain is officially back to work and headed to our screens soon.
You can follow her on Instagram at @chinamcclain.
Kiersey Clemons
Another Black actress under 30 to know is Kiersey Clemons, who recently starred alongside Janelle Monae in Antebellum. She has cemented her place in indie storytelling where she identifies as a part of the LGBTQ community and routinely accepts roles outside of the status quo.
After getting her feet wet on Disney Channel series like Shake It Up and Austin and Ally, her breakout role came in the form as a starring role in 2015's Dope, whose cast also included A$AP Rocky and Zoë Kravitz. Dope also introduced Clemons into the DC Comics Universe. She won the role of Iris West—girlfriend of The Flash, the lightning-fast crime fighter played by Ezra Miller in Suicide Squad and Justice League.
Since, she started focusing on independent films, appearing in Flatliners, The Only Living Boy in New York, and, this year, Hearts Beat Loud and Sweetheart. Now, Clemons captures the essence of roles where she can tell untold stories; roles with social consciousness, however subtle.
Beyond film, she's also waded into social justice, helping lobby for the courts to reexamine evidence in the case of Marcellus Williams, a death-row inmate who has been incarcerated for nearly two decades despite new evidence that could exonerate him.
You can follow her on Instagram @kiersey, where she is happily, unapologetically, her damn self.
Marsai Martin
When it comes to Marsai Martin, what more needs to be said? Probably leading the pack of Black actresses under 30, our favorite shady little sister has managed to pivot her acting gig on Black-ish, into a full-on empire, complete with starring in, and executive producing, her own projects. And for those that aren't exactly sure what this means, sis cuts and signs the check that she deposits. Let that marinate.
Martin tells ET:
"I'm blessed to actually have the platform that I have. Being a Black girl, even in [a] white, male-dominated industry, you have to use your voice. You have to speak your mind for your audience."
And she's making no apologies about her journey, how she arrived, and being herself.
Since emerging on the scene in 2014 at the age of ten, the now 16-year-old actress has racked up a plethora of accolades and awards. Martin has multiple projects in the pipeline, including the animated film Paw Patrol: The Movie (2021) and her second feature film, StepMonster.
Follow her on Instagram at @marsaimartin.
Lovie Simone Oppong
Lovie Simone Opphong. Zora Greenlead. The 21-year-old Bronx powerhouse.
Simone currently plays Tabby in The Craft Legacy, a 2020 reboot of the cult classic thriller The Craft. Out this month, The Craft Legacy is just one of the many projects in which she stars. She's also in the Social Distancing TV series that captures all the highs and lows of quarantining. The series will be streaming on Netflix. Then, there's Starz's Power Book III: Raising Kanan in which Simone plays the love interest of the lead character. Sis, is working, and she is making no attempts to slow down, as her resume also consists of OWN's Greenleaf, and 2019 Sundance Film Festival premiere Selah and the Spades, where she stars as Selah.
Outside of acting, Simone spends much of her time sharing good reads and behind-the-scenes footage.
Follow her at @loviesimone_.
Odley Jean
Before she was a rising star on a newly exciting Netflix series, Grand Army, Odley Jean was just a regular Haitian-American girl in Brooklyn, working to make ends meet, and fighting to pursue her dreams. She landed a role as Dom, on the teen drama, a role she is a few years older than, but as it turns out, one she's got a lot in common with.
About the show, Jean tells Teen Vogue:
"'Degrassi' was in the school and the hallways, but also went into the teens' lives at home as well as a lot of social issues. But, I feel like 'Grand Army' lays it all out there and calls everything and everyone out. And it's up to us to dissect and have conversations. It's not spoon-fed to you."
As Refinery29 puts it, "Ten seconds. That's how long it takes to know that Odley Jean is going to be a star." Amen.
You can follow her on Instagram @odley.jean.
Raven Goodwin
Fans, such as myself, first got to know Raven Goodwin after appearing on the hit show Being Mary Jane. Soon after, she was featured in Disney's Good Luck Charlie, and now, she is showing a new side of her otherwise private world. After recently having a baby girl she is stepping back into the spotlight to encourage body positivity and loving yourself with, or without, the weight.
Most recently, Goodwin portrayed Denise Clark-Bradford in the 2020 Clark Sisters biopic, The Clark Sisters: The First Ladies of Gospel. And since, she has been taking over social media with her charm, advocacy, and fitness journey.
Right now, Raven is focusing on being a mommy but be on the lookout for her future impact.
Keep up with Raven on Instagram at @ravengoodwin
Yara Shahidi
"The vision is set. The slate is built. Grateful to my ABC family & excited to join the television landscape to collaborate and push forward the stories of our many intersections."
That's what Yara Shahidi wrote on Instagram to celebrate her new ABC deal for her production company, 7th Sun. 20-year-old Shahidi, an uber-vocal activist and champion for racial justice and equality, has plans to focus on stories from underrepresented communities and "projects that touch upon themes of history, heritage, culture, and joy," 7th Sun said in a statement.
And if we should be excited that any young, black woman is telling stories their way, it is Shahidi. Her start on Black-ish had such success, that it evolved into a successful spin-off, Grown-ish. Since then, she's found her voice as the unofficial spokesperson for Gen Z's woke culture and she has an impressive collection of mentors all around her: from Michelle Obama, Janelle Monae, and her dazzling mother, Keri Shahidi.
Oh, and she's a student at Harvard. I could go on all day about this queen, but you guys know. So, Yara Shahidi, ladies and gentlemen.
Follow her on Instagram at @yarashahidi.
Lexi Underwood
One random night I was scrolling through all the nothing that was on TV when I decided to binge-watch Little Fires Everywhere. And from the moment I turned it on, I could not stop watching. I stayed up and finished the entire season; it was that good of a show. I loved the themes and the changes in character dynamics. And I loved Lexi Underwood.
Her character, the daughter of Kerry Washington's character Mia Warren, was so pure and genuine in how she approached her role. As a young 17-year-old, I was blown away by her promise. On working on the show, Underwood tells Vogue:
"Every day was a masterclass. They made sure everybody else in the scene looked good. One time, Miss Kerry and I were in a scene and it was her coverage but I was giving a strong performance, so she had them stop and turn the cameras around. They taught me how to unapologetically take up space as a young Black actress; to speak up if I had an idea or if something didn't seem authentic to my character. We had a voice in the creative process. We never felt like we were kids."
Up next, Underwood will be starring as a Disney princess alongside John Sally for Sneakerella (which we're so excited to see) and has even started a production company.
Keep up with her on Insta at @officiallexiunderwood.
Lyric Ross
Seventeen-year-old Lyric Ross plays Deja on NBC's hit show, This Is Us, a role she was, of course, excited to get.
And working in most of your scenes with Sterling K. Brown, who let her hold his Emmy award as a bomb affirmation, is something to brag about. She's young but she packs a punch, and she's next up to bat, as she's already been nominated for the prestigious NAACP award to go along with that Emmy. Expect this Black actress under 30 to be around for a long time.
Catch up with her on Instagram at @lyricnicoleross!
Dominique Fishback
Dominique Fishback isn't normal. No, I mean it, she is one of the most enjoyable Black actresses under 30 to watch. The 29-year-old stars alongside Jamie Foxx in Netflix's Project Power had gained the respect and attention of others for her role on HBO's The Deuce. You may have also seen her in 2018's The Hate U Give. Still, the Brooklyn-raised phenom is continuously outperforming her own ranks and making her mark as one of the young Hollywood starlets.
In her upcoming role in the Fred Hampton film Judas and the Black Messiah, she will co-star with Daniel Kaluuya and LaKeith Stanfield. She tells Entertainment Weekly:
"I have a lot to say — I'm a writer as well, so I'm ready for people to take me seriously. My essence, my purpose, they're all aligning. From your lips to God's ears."
I stan.
Keep up with Dominique's journey on Instagram @domfishback.
Feature image by Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
'It's Not All In Your Head': How Four Black Women Finally Got The Answers They Needed About Fibroids
If someone had told me I’d be working toward my third fibroid surgery in less than six years, I would have had a hard time believing them. First, because obviously, no one wants to ever hear the word "surgery" (unless it’s cosmetic surgery you’re opting for). But the more significant reason is I’d never heard any of the women in my life talk about fibroids, so the idea of having all of the complex issues because of them, on top of surgeries, was truly a foreign concept.
After my doctor told me I’d need a second surgery in March of 2023—a hysteroscopic myomectomy—after bleeding every day for over six months, I was over it. Not just over the symptoms. But I was done feeling siloed on an island dealing with the pain, feeling tired all the time, and the heaviness of what felt like endless trips to the doctor for ultrasounds, blood transfusions, blood count checks, MRIs, etc.
I would try to explain what I was feeling, and my pain was written off because I guess period pain is just supposed to be normal. I’m here to tell you it is not. And because we’ve been conditioned to just deal, that’s the way things should stay. Yeah, no.
What is a hysteroscopic myomectomy? Hysteroscopic myomectomy is the most minimally invasive procedure to treat fibroids. A surgeon removes fibroids by inserting a hysteroscope into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix.
So, I wrote and directed an animated short film to bring educational and entertainment value to helping the world learn about fibroids. With $25,000 of my own money, I went forth and made the film titled Super High: A Period Piece. Now, it’s making its rounds on the festival circuit, even gaining entry into two Oscar-qualifying festivals: the Chicago International Film Festival and the New Orleans Film Festival. We even won Best Narrative Short at the Morehouse Human Rights Film Festival in Atlanta.
As I was venturing onto the festival circuit, my editor asked me to write a piece highlighting the experiences of Black women with fibroids. Initially, I planned to highlight up to 15 stories. However, as I started working on this story, I thought hearing the experiences more in-depth would be equally impactful. So, we chatted with four women about their fibroid journeys.
The one thing we all had in common, which made me sad but also made me feel seen, was that none of us knew much about them beforehand. However, our willingness to openly share our stories will hopefully change that for many women now and beyond.
Keep reading for four women’s stories about their journey with fibroids.
Rosco Spears, artist and creative director
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
Before my journey with fibroids, I didn't know much about them. I'd never heard of fibroids until women around me started getting diagnosed. I was dealing with heavy, painful periods long before I was privy to any of these diagnoses.
Shortly before I was officially diagnosed with having fibroids (2012), I learned that my sister and other women in my family also had fibroids. As I've grown older, I've learned that my three sisters, many cousins, aunts, etc, have also had fibroids. It's simply an issue that was never discussed.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I found out that I had fibroids while living in NYC. I was fed up with the pain and discomfort from my period, so I shopped around until I got an answer that I thought made sense. I met a wonderful woman doctor who finally diagnosed me, and she offered me several options for easing the discomfort. During this time, I would often bleed between periods.
In 2013, one of my "in-between" moments was more than the spotting that I was used to, so I took myself to the emergency [room]. I learned that my hemoglobin [levels] were at seven, and the doctors wouldn't let me leave the hospital without getting a blood transfusion. They also highly recommended that I get surgery to remove the fibroids. Once I officially got the diagnosis, it was scary, but it also felt amazing to know that I could begin planning a path forward.
What are hemoglobin levels? To ensure adequate tissue oxygenation—a very important complex dance between the lungs, blood, and cardiovascular system—a sufficient hemoglobin level has to be maintained. The normal Hb level for women is 12 to 16 g/dl. Low hemoglobin levels mean your body isn’t getting enough oxygen, which is why you feel very tired and weak.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I've had two abdominal myomectomies, one in 2013 (16 fibroids were removed) and another in 2020 (51 fibroids were removed). I was nervous about the idea of being cut open during the myomectomy, but I didn't think that the outcome could be any worse than the pain that I was already dealing with. Both surgeries went just as planned (aside from the 2nd surgery being rescheduled due to COVID-19), and my recovery from both was amazing.
In 2013, I was a bit unhinged. I went location scouting for a photo shoot for The Lip Bar three days after I got home from the hospital. My family was very upset, but I honestly felt fine. I had some abdominal pain, but within two weeks, I was back in the studio on my feet all day. After my second surgery, the plan was to try and have a child shortly after recovery. I took my time with healing and did things according to the book.
What is a myomectomy? A myomectomy is surgery to remove uterine fibroids. There are several types of myomectomies, but the procedure you and your doctor decide is right for you will depend on factors like location, number, and size of your fibroids.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
I felt/feel amazing post-treatment! For about 2-3 years after both surgeries, my periods were much lighter, and the pain was light [and] much more bearable than it was with the fibroids. My quality of life is much different post-surgery.
There have been years [when] I simply did not have any energy while I was on my period. The most I could do was get up to go to the bathroom and get right back in bed. Or I'd have to carry a change of clothes with me when traveling to work because I couldn't afford to take off during my period, but I knew that at some point, I would bleed through everything. So, in that regard, life is beautiful. I'm no longer passing out, nor do I feel the need to bring an extra set of pants along on the ride.
While my quality of life has improved tremendously, I often joke and say that I have PTSD from having bad periods. What I mean is that I still check my pants often when I'm on my period. And I still get anxiety if I'm in public and I'm on day two or three of my period because who knows if it is just a little blood that I feel coming down or it's a huge clot that's going to ruin my pants. And I still know better than to try and wash my hair on my heavy days because there isn't enough energy to do both.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
You got this, sis! It's a difficult journey, but please seek advice from other women on the journey. If one doctor is not giving you sufficient information, find a new doctor. Make sure you're exploring all of the options for fibroid removal/shrinking treatments [because] it is not one size fits all. And take your iron supplements, boo.
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
Oh God, if I could pay women to share their fibroid stories, I would. It's imperative that we talk with one another about our experiences in health. I shared my fibroid story years ago because I was so lost when I was on my journey. One of my sisters had the surgery before I did, but other than her, I didn't have anyone to talk to about fibroids.
I felt very alone, isolated, and somewhat embarrassed because it felt like this wasn't happening to anyone else around me. It makes a world of difference when you can talk with someone about an issue they are also facing. We will learn a lot more by discussing shared experiences—much of which you cannot learn from talking to your doctor or Google.
La-Anna Douglas, women’s advocate and motivational speaker
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
Being someone who started my period at the age of 10, I was in the dark when it pertained to fibroids and other reproductive health issues. I had never heard of fibroids, and I didn’t know that the pain I was experiencing, along with fertility delays, was because of the fibroids sitting in between my two uteruses. The pelvic pain, excruciating periods, fatigue, and protruding belly to someone else would have been a dead giveaway. But I had no idea what was going on with my body. I also did not know of anyone in my family dealing with fibroids.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I was diagnosed with fibroids by a reproductive endocrinologist [and] was finally properly diagnosed after suffering for 16 years. I finally found a doctor willing to listen to my concerns and, most of all, believed that I wasn’t making it up. She scheduled me for a thorough examination, and I was soon scheduled for laparoscopic surgery. I was diagnosed with three fibroids, endometriosis, and a uterus didelphys (two uteruses and two cervixes).
Uterus didelphys is a rare congenital condition where you're born with two uteruses. It's commonly called a double uterus.
Again, I was misdiagnosed for years, and my pain was minimized. I was labeled as the girl with bad periods. I would have cramps for 3-4 days on my left side of my belly and then cramps for 3-4 days on my right. In actuality, I was having two periods from two different uteruses with three fibroids pressing on my wombs with endometriosis wrapped around my fallopian tubes and my uterus. When I heard all of the different diagnoses, I was angry, overwhelmed, scared, and confused. But the worst thing is that I was unprepared mentally and emotionally for the diagnosis and the journey ahead.
"I was misdiagnosed for years, and my pain was minimized. I was labeled as the girl with bad periods. In actuality, I was having two periods from two different uteruses with three fibroids pressing on my wombs with endometriosis wrapped around my fallopian tubes and my uterus."
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I was told not to worry about removing the fibroids surgically after being diagnosed in my 20s back in 2008. But in 2020, during the pandemic, my pain started to escalate again. So, I was scheduled for an ultrasound, an MRI, and then a double-balloon procedure. I was told that my fibroids had grown and they were contributing to the secondary infertility I was experiencing. My doctor gave me two options. Would I rather have a hysterectomy?
I had already gone through 30 years of horrible periods, eight years of infertility [and] finally having a miracle baby in 2013 by God’s grace, and I had already gone through multiple procedures. Or I could do the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy, where they would remove the fibroids and open my two cervixes by also doing a hysteroscopy. At first, [I] wanted to do a hysterectomy, but [after] talking to my family and praying about it, I decided on having the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy. I was a little nervous but knew I was in good hands.
What is a laparoscopic myomectomy? A laparoscopic myomectomy is a minimally invasive procedure to remove uterine fibroids. A surgeon makes four tiny incisions in your abdomen and then uses a laparoscope, which is a special instrument that contains a light and video camera, to operate through the incisions.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
Post-treatment, I felt relieved and grateful. The healing journey was okay. I had a lot of support from my family, especially my husband. After the healing, [I am] loving on my body because the many scars on my belly are my beauty marks. I started to get more confident in who I was. The doctor who did the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy believed that I would get pregnant again.
Well, six months after the surgery, I became pregnant with our second miracle baby girl after eight years of secondary infertility at the age of 40. And to think, [had] I decided on the hysterectomy, she would not be here. Our surprise baby has brought so much happiness to our family.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
For anyone just beginning their fibroid journey, my advice would be to advocate for yourself no matter what the diagnosis may be. Your voice matters, and you control your narrative. If the doctor is not listening to you or your concerns, you have every right to seek a second, third, fourth, or as many opinions as you wish until you are heard and properly cared for. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
[And,] to always love on yourself through the journey with fibroids and anything else you may be going through. YOU ARE ENOUGH. The physical scars and the invisible scars are your beauty marks. And share with others how you are feeling and what you are going through. Please do not suffer in silence!
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
It is so important that we share our journey with fibroids because there is power in supportive stories. We all must realize that we are not alone. There are so many of us who have similar situations going on or may be feeling the same feelings you may be feeling.
Sharing your story also helps to heal those hurts that happen on the road to diagnosis. Healing taps into the strength that has been lying dormant inside of us, and when that strength is ignited, there is nothing that can stop you from advocating for yourself and others who begin to share their stories with you.
Dawn Heels, award-winning fibroid advocate and campaigner
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
I knew absolutely nothing about fibroids apart from the fact that my mum had one (she found out when she was pregnant with me), but even with this information, she didn't know anything about them.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I had always suffered [from] extremely heavy, painful periods. I thought [this] was normal, [so] I didn't link it to the fact that something could be wrong with me. I first discovered I had fibroids after experiencing constant pain in the left-hand side of my abdomen in 2016. During an ultrasound scan, I was told I had 2 x 4 cm fibroids by the sonographer.
Two types of ultrasound scan can be used to help diagnose fibroids: an abdominal ultrasound scan – where the ultrasound probe is moved over the outside of your tummy (abdomen) a transvaginal ultrasound scan – where a small ultrasound probe is inserted into your vagina.
I hadn’t a clue what they were, and when I went back to see my doctor, he told me that I had nothing to worry about because fibroids were common, normal, and I should deal with any pain with a hot water bottle and ibuprofen. And because he told me I had nothing to worry about, at that moment, I didn’t worry.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
Over the next six years, my pain and suffering got worse. I displayed horrendous fibroid symptoms: bum cheek pain, leg pain, painful, heavy, clotty periods, lower back pain, extreme pain, abdominal/pelvic pain, early pregnancy symptoms, tiredness, ‘preggo belly,’ painful sex, long periods and was infertile. I finally saw a consultant who changed my life, as he was the first person to listen to me and put a plan in place.
"He transvaginally scanned me and told me I actually had at least six fibroids, the biggest being the size of a grapefruit, and with that, I would have to have an open myomectomy."
He transvaginally scanned me and told me I actually had at least six fibroids, the biggest being the size of a grapefruit, and with that, I would have to have an open myomectomy. I cried so many tears because I thought if I was to ever have an operation that resembled the C-section, I would be giving birth to a baby, not tumors! The operation was a success, and he removed 16 fibroids and left 2 in to give me a chance at conceiving. I lost a lot of blood and had an emergency blood transfusion one week later.
After eight weeks of healing, I started to feel much better.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
The open myomectomy gave me my life back—a good quality of life. I wasn’t in pain anymore. My periods were shorter and significantly lighter, and best of all, I fell pregnant six months after surgery!
What is an open myomectomy? An abdominal, or open, myomectomy removes fibroids through an incision in the abdomen, typically on the bikini line. The recovery time generally lasts up to six weeks.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
Educate yourself on the condition so you can guide the conversation and ask relevant questions when going into your consultations. Advocate for yourself, too! Too many of us will just agree to all sorts of nonsense just because the medical professional says so! You are the expert over your own body, so speak up!
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
I became an ‘accidental’ advocate because I shared my story. My inbox was inundated with messages from other ladies who had suffered or were currently suffering. That’s how powerful a share is.
Camille Austin, model and content creator
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them? For example, did you know what symptoms to look out for?
I did not know much, if not anything at all. So, I did not know what symptoms to look out for.
Did you know if anyone in your family had ever dealt with them?
Yes, my mother, but she was already going through menopause, so our symptoms did not seem comparable.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
[I went] to my primary care physician, who is also a WOC. She performed a pelvic exam, and when I told her about all of my symptoms, she thought it was fibroids. It took a while and [was] frankly [an] annoying process to finally get to an MRI where they found three fibroids, one the size of 15cm.
And how did you feel once you got the official diagnosis?
I felt relieved and scared—scared about what this meant about my fertility. [But,] relieved that I had answers and I was going to get better.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I had to have surgery due to the size [of my fibroid.] I had an open and laparoscopic procedure done and was on the table for eight hours. I did not initially trust my surgeon as she wanted to jump straight into a hysterectomy. Common practice says that the only way to stop them from ever coming back is through a hysterectomy, which I find to be a bit extreme. To me, it sounds like it's just under-researched, and not enough efforts are being made because this largely impacts WOC, but I digress.
"My surgeon thought because I'm so young, healthy, and strong, she did not put me on a hospital list, which gives another doctor the ability to treat me overnight should something happen. Well, something happened."
My surgeon thought because I'm so young, healthy, and strong, she did not put me on a hospital list, which gives another doctor the ability to treat me overnight should something happen. Well, something happened. I found out I'm allergic to Dilaudid (a common pain med). I broke out and had a third-degree chemical burn around my stomach from the adhesive, and my skin completely broke out. There was not a doctor available to give me even so much as a Benadryl to ease the discomfort. Nurses can't prescribe meds.
It wasn't until I threatened to leave the hospital—I got up and packed my bags—that I received a pink Benadryl pill after waiting for about 6 hours. About a week after I got home, I broke into a fever and was septic. I was rushed back to the hospital and had to spend an additional four days. In short, the healing process did not go according to plan.
After your difficult hospital experience and healing journey, how did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
After treatment, I felt so much better after everything was said and done. I would still get the surgery if I had to do it again. When I eventually healed, my periods were shorter. I could fit my clothes again, and I just had more energy to do things since I was not as anemic.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
[First,] push for that MRI sooner than later. If you catch them when they are small, you can look into non-invasive ways to get rid of them.
Make sure your doctor has a hospital list, and ask who will be in charge of taking care of you when your doctor is not around.
What does an MRI mean for fibroids? An MRI uses a magnetic field and radio waves to create computerized, 3D images of the uterus. These images can help your doctor decide which treatment is best for you and rule out other issues like adenomyosis and endometriosis.
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
I think it's important because we can all learn from each other, and this is not just becoming a "woman over 30" problem. According to my doctors, I was far too young, and due to my age, this was something that went unnoticed. Frankly, it should not have been a far stretch because I have fibroids in my breast tissue as well, but somehow, no correlation has been made.
So we have to press the issue, so hopefully, we can look into why this is happening to so many women and not allow a hysterectomy to be the first response.
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From Shrinking To Shining: Shelah Marie's Journey To Becoming Unapologetically ‘Unruly’
A significant part of becoming a woman is developing a deep understanding of who we truly are.
However, societal expectations to be kind, meek, and palatable often stifle our boldness before it fully emerges. For author, content creator, and women’s wellness influencer Shelah Marie, growing up as the only Black person in her household and often feeling pressured to shrink herself ultimately motivated her to embrace her most authentic, confident, and "unruly" self—the version she proudly embodies today.
Her upcoming book, Unruly: A Guide to Reclaiming Your True Self, serves as a guide for women on the journey of embracing their complexities and contradictions through radial forgiveness. A process that Shelah came to understand at an early age. “I had a crash course in identity politics growing up,” she tells xoNecole. After her parents divorced, her mother, who’s white and Cuban, remarried a white man, and they had a daughter together. This resulted in Shelah being raised in a predominately white household, prompting questions about her own identity.
“What I was starting to understand, in its infancy, were identity politics and how we perform race, gender, and ultimately perform who we are,” she says. “The good news is that I could pull from my acting background; the best actors don't perform for an audience, they perform authentically in front of an audience.” With this insight, Shelah combined her self-development journey with her creative path, showing other women the power of reclaiming their lost parts to unlock their main character energy.
Credit: Greg Castel
The concept of "main character energy" has become a popular colloquium, as it invites us to reflect on how we show up in our own lives. It’s the idea of taking charge of your own narrative, stepping into the spotlight, and living with authenticity and confidence as if you’re the protagonist of your story. For Shelah, coming into this energy came from the realization that she had been playing the role of a side character in her own life.
“A lot of women are socialized to be neat, to fit into a box, to be pleasant, to be polite, and ultimately, to think about others before we think about ourselves and how we affect everyone else,” she shares. “But sometimes that's at the expense of us being true to ourselves.”
This can manifest as internalized pressure to be "good"—to stay quiet, and avoid being too loud, too disruptive, or too opinionated. But this tendency to shrink ourselves for the comfort of others can mean that we don’t live fully or authentically, making the shift into main character energy tantamount to our growth.
But how do you tap into your main character energy? While Shelah shares that the process doesn’t happen overnight, committing to the journey of getting to know yourself on a deeper level and “becoming friends with yourself,” is the first step.
“Everybody you've ever been lives within you,” she explains. “Every time you have a major transition, you birth a new version of yourself that is able to exist in that transition, but those other versions don't disappear. They still stay in you.”
Shelah Marie 'Unruly'
"Everybody you've ever been lives within you. Every time you have a major transition, you birth a new version of yourself that is able to exist in that transition, but those other versions don't disappear."
When we begin to honor the complex parts of ourselves, observe them without judgment, and not view them as something “negative,” we can start to integrate those aspects into our lives more authentically.
“When I know these things, then I can direct them like a director,” she continues. “I can call the show and tell them to come on stage or exit. I can move them like an ensemble within myself.”
She adds, “It's not that I disown parts of myself, judge them, or think that they're bad and make them go away. No, it's just that we can work together for my highest good, as opposed to them begging for attention and causing me to act out in ways that are not productive.”
In recognizing that she was reenacting old narratives in her relationships, she realized she had been seeking validation and acceptance from places that were outside of herself. This moment of clarity empowered her to take control of her own self-worth, committing to doing whatever it took to heal the deepest relationship any of us can have with anyone: the one we have with ourselves.
Credit: Greg Castel
“What I learned is that I was looking for something that I can only give to myself,” she says. “I took it as a stance of power and this is an opportunity for me to never be in this situation quite like this again, and whatever I have to do to get there, I will do.”
While society often sends messages aimed at Black women to shrink their presence, Shelah hopes that readers of Unruly open themselves up to more possibilities and give themselves permission to grow beyond societal limitations. After all, “You get to choose.”
Unruly: A Guide to Reclaiming Your True Self is out on Oct. 22.
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Featured image by Greg Castel