

'I Ain't Choosing': Actress Kiersey Clemons Says If She Can't Have It All She Doesn't Want It
Kiersey Clemons isn’t just a face worth stopping and staring at. The talent is undeniable. Since her breakout role as Diggy in Dope, alongside Shameik Moore, A$AP Rocky, and Chanel Iman, the millennial thespian has been continuing to secure bag after bag on screen, from thriller films Sweetheart and Antebellum to the side-holding Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising. She has also taken her wit, style, beauty, sass, and effervescence to her most recent project on Amazon Prime, which debuted ahead of Valentine’s Day.
Directed by Dave Franco, Somebody I Used to Know follows the story of workaholic Ally (Alison Brie) who has a run-in with her ex, Sean (Jay Ellis), and begins to question every choice she’s made up until that point. Things become more confusing for her feelings once she realizes that Sean is engaged to Cassidy (Clemons), who reminds her of a younger, feistier version of herself. The question remains when watching the film: Are Sean and Ally falling in love with each other all over again, or is it just the idea of what they once had bringing back the sparks?
During a conversation with xoNecole, Clemons got personal with contributing writer D’Shonda Brown about whether she believes in fate, her thoughts on romantic comedies, and her recipe for a fool-proof relationship.
xoNecole: What are your thoughts on romantic comedies, and how would you say that 'Somebody I Used to Know' challenges what a rom-com is?
Kiersey Clemons: I think all rom-coms kind of offer the same feeling. It's cozy, you can watch it by yourself, and you know what feeling you're going to be left with, which I think is the best thing about the genre. It's promising, like a horror movie. I know that I'm going to be scared - that's the point. I know that I want to watch it with other people, and someone has to sleep over because I don't watch scary movies without a sleepover. We're having a sleepover, and we're watching a scary movie. You're staying.
xoN: How did playing Cassidy challenge you as an actor, as opposed to previous roles that you've had in the past?
KC: Probably keeping her so chill. Dave [Franco] was like, "No. She's like hella chill. You can even chill out even more." I got to the point where I was like, "You just want me to play someone who's high all the time?,” and he was like, "Exactly." She is so unbothered. It’s crazy to me.
xoN: If you were in Cassidy's shoes, is there anything that would've been a non-negotiable for you when it came to your fiancé's best friend’s behavior like, "Okay, this is unacceptable behavior. I have to say something"?
KC: I think that if it was a person acting the way that she's (Brie's character, Ally) acting, I would not be welcoming her into the space as much. I would definitely be having a real conversation with her like, "You're not coming to my wedding weekend."
xoN: If you could give Cassidy and Sean a piece of advice before they jump the broom, what would you tell them?
KC: Can I be honest?
(L-R) Jay Ellis and Kiersey Clemons
Kayla Oaddams/WireImage
xoN: It’s a safe space.
KC: 'Y’all shouldn’t get married.' I’m just saying. I mean, I love the end of the film because it doesn't always go the way that the person who's watching it, or even made it, thinks that it should go, but I don't think they are ready. I think they both have some developing to do. They both want to live in that fantasy world that I was talking about, but good for them; they're going through a phase. They'll probably get divorced later, it's fine. We all have to get divorced at some time.
xoN: There was a point in time where Ally's character said that the way that she and Sean had reconnected was fate. Do you believe in fate, or do you believe in timely coincidences?
KC: I don't know if I necessarily believe in fate. I think I do believe in things lining up with intention, more than I do fate. Like when something happens that most people would call fate, I'm more so one of those people that's like, "I made this happen." Ugh, I hate to say that I've been manifesting it, but that's me. That's who I am.
xoN: Do you believe that love should be an easy, smooth sailing train, or do you feel like nothing that you have shouldn't come without some type of tug of war?
KC: I think that it should be healthy, but if it's smooth sailing, you're not living in reality. I think that you are living in delusion, and living in a place of what you want life to be like. I think the best love, even with your friends, is [that] a lot of people want to be like, "I'm going to cut that person off," but I think if you're able to resolve conflict and communicate, that's real love.
xoN: Another interesting part of the storyline was there's this compare and contrast between a life that you can have with love, and a life that you can have when you put your career first. What's the importance of having a balance of a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, as well as a fulfilling career path?
KC: I think if there's anything that you also want to do for the rest of your life, it must be part of your purpose, and you should stick with that thing, but also if there's a person you want to do with that as well, then yeah, it has to be balanced. Committing to one thing or another, if I have to do that, I'm dropping both. I'm starting over, I'm doing something else. I don't like sacrificing everything. That's so weird. I'm not doing that. I ain’t choosing.
"Committing to one thing or another, if I have to do that, I'm dropping both. I'm starting over, I'm doing something else. I don't like sacrificing everything. That's so weird. I'm not doing that. I ain’t choosing."
Jeremy Chan/Getty Images
xoN: What does closing a door look like for you, and how do you personally address triggers from old relationships?
KC: I think it's closure, it's having a conversation, allowing yourself the space to heal from whatever it was and whatever happened. I kind of like the idea of resolve before going your separate ways. I think two people who are angry and have animosity, going their separate ways is... I don't know. It allows space for a grudge that personally, I don't like to have grudges, and that's also what creates triggers.
xoN: In a relationship, what do you think is more important - communication, trust, or commitment?
KC: I think all of them. Commitment more so. Again, divorce [and] things happen, but you have to have trust and communication in any relationship if it's your family, your friends, or your partner - or what are you really doing?
xoN: What's the most important piece of relationship advice you've ever learned that you still take with you to this day?
KC: Conflict, communication, resolution. I always keep that in mind. I just had that with a friend. They couldn't do the communication part and I was like, "We can't ever get to the resolution." I love when I have conflicts with my friends. I don't create it because it allows us to get to a place that is in here. I love that. I made it up. Doesn't it sound like a therapist told me?
xoN: It does.
KC: You know what I also came up with yesterday? This has nothing to do with anything, except it does have to do with marriage and me thinking that I'm a therapist. By the way, it leads to nothing, but this is going to help people. We were talking about splitting duties in the house, like why don't people just do the job that they like? Even if you end up doing more things than me, if you like cleaning dishes, then you can clean the dishes. I like to vacuum.
I was like, okay, partners should have the list of things that need to be done in the house, and without looking at each other's piece of paper, from one to five, you rate out what you hate to do, being one, and what you like to do, being five. What brings you satisfaction? Vacuuming. Mwah, chef's kiss. And then that's how you decide what each person does. Don't I sound like a fricking marriage counselor?
Somebody I Used to Know is now streaming on Prime Video.
Featured image by Leon Bennett/Getty Images
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Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Your October 2023 Horoscopes Are All About Transformation & Finding Balance
With two Eclipses happening this month, this is one of the powerhouse months of 2023 and one that will be unforgettable for many. The month begins in Libra Season, and with Mercury also entering Libra on October 4th. When Mercury is in Libra, the focus is on keeping the peace, creating harmony, and finding the beauty in life. Relationships, finances, pleasure, and creation are all the focus during Libra Season, and this month overall will be creating a lot of positive change in these areas of life.
What October 2023 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
On October 8th, Venus moves into earth sign Virgo, and love takes on a more serious and grounded tone here. Venus in Virgo has high standards and wants the best of the best. There is a possibility of becoming overly critical in love or relationships with this energy, however overall, Venus in Virgo will be focused on letting go of unhealthy behaviors in love and creating more positive ways of relating, giving, and receiving in relationships. A few days later, Pluto goes direct in Capricorn after going retrograde in Aquarius back in May, and fewer power struggles and obstacles are more likely.
With Pluto direct in Capricorn, it is easier to reach your goals, build success, and see your own self-empowerment in it all.
On October 12th, Mars enters Scorpio, and Mars loves being in this water sign as it’s the ruler of Scorpio. Mars in Scorpio is passionate and direct and heats things up when it comes to your relationships. Mars will be in Scorpio until November 24th, and a spark is definitely being lit. A few days later, we have a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Libra.
This Solar Eclipse is creating a fresh start in love, but may also be bringing things to the forefront that are uncomfortable to see. A Solar Eclipse in Libra is relationship-oriented, and this is where you will be seeing the most impact now.
Before the month ends, Mercury enters Scorpio on October 22nd, Scorpio Season begins on the 23rd, and there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Taurus on October 28th. The end of October is when a lot of big moves are being made, and transformations are occurring, and it’s about letting go of baggage before moving forward again. The Lunar Eclipse in Taurus is another eclipse that has an impact on relationships, as both Libra and Taurus are ruled by Venus, the planet of love.
Through what is changing and transforming in some of your close relationships, this energy suggests there is greater love on the other side of it. Find gratitude in where you are, and stand in hope and self-belief for where you want to be.
Your October 2023 Monthly Horoscopes
ARIES
Your strength is needed this month, Aries. During October, the Sun is in Libra, meaning the Sun is in your 7th house. The 7th house is the house of love and relationships, but it’s also the house of open enemies and opposition. This month, you will be finding your balance between the opening you are seeing in your life right now and what still needs to be built.
On October 14th, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in this area of your chart, the 7th house, and this is an impactful time for you emotionally. The intentions you have been setting in your love life and financially are creating a new scene for you. This is a good month to do more of the things that make you happy, to get creative, and to notice the beauty in your life. Before the month ends, your ruling planet, Mars, moves into your 8th house, and things get deep and even more emotional for you moving into November.
TAURUS
October is a month of reflection for you, Taurus. There is a lot happening this month and a lot happening for you personally, yet you are taking the time to tend to your inner world and recreate your safe spaces. With Venus in a fellow earth sign and in your 5th house of romance for most of this month, you will be sure to have plenty of love in your life to help you through some of the downtime you are getting in October.
Mars moves into your house of love on October 12th, and this is heating things up for you in your relationships and sex life. Fuel your passions and notice what is lighting you up inside right now. Before the month ends, on October 28th, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your sign, and you are going through some major life changes. You are closing one chapter of your life of self-discovery and moving forward with a new view of yourself and the world around you.
GEMINI
This month is all about letting go, Gemini. You are moving through a time of releasing what has been filling your world with more chaos and confusion than clarity and are paving a new path for yourself. Your ruling planet, Mercury, is in your house of happiness for most of this month, and you are really thinking of the things that your heart wants and expressing yourself through this space of openness as well. Communication channels are exciting for you this month.
On October 14th, the New Moon Eclipse will be highlighting all of the energy of love you have been feeling this month and will be helping you hone in on your creative passions and hobbies as well. This month is surprising you on how well things turn out when you let go of what isn’t working. The second eclipse of the month is on the 28th, and this one for you is about laying the past to rest once and for all and giving yourself time to heal and process.
CANCER
October is an activating month for you, Cancer. There are some eye-opening moments happening, and a lot of things are coming to a head. The energy of the month is about letting things find their place and allowing yourself to be okay in the process. Venus is in your 3rd house of communication for most of this month, and you will be able to communicate more freely how you are feeling and what you need in your relationships right now.
With the Sun in Libra and in your 4th house for most of October, home is really where the heart is right now. Spending time in comfortable environments where you feel the most at ease is nourishing. Before the month ends, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your 11th house of community, and things are coming full circle for you. Lean on your support systems and community for an extra hand, and know that you deserve to take up space.
LEO
This is a month of things moving forward for you, Leo. Patience is still needed, as things may not be moving as quickly as expected, however, they are moving nonetheless, and you are leaving the space of stagnation you have been feeling the past couple of months. Openings are coming into your life, and with Venus now in your 2nd house, you are able to capitalize on what you have been investing in and claim your abundance.
The Solar Eclipse happening mid-month will be awakening something within you when it comes to expressing yourself. You are breaking free from fears, limitations, and self-judgments and seeing yourself as someone who deserves to be heard. The Sun is also in this area of your chart until the end of the month, and you have all the support from the universe right now to speak up and speak your truths.
VIRGO
October is a month of blessings for you, Virgo. This year has been a year of a lot of ups and downs for you, and in the second half of this year, you really get to settle into more stability and positive fruition. You are being guided to use your instincts wisely this month, however, so as to keep blessings rolling. Your ruling planet, Mercury, will be in your 2nd house of income for most of the month, as well as the Sun, and financially, this is a really good month for you.
On October 8th, Venus moves into your sign, and you are receiving and feeling the love right now. Venus will be in your sign until November 8th, and over the next month, this is a good time for your relationships and business, receiving positive feedback, and putting yourself out there. On October 28th, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse happening in your 9th house of adventure, and you could be seeing some travel or education plans coming to fruition now. You are really ready to enjoy how far you have come this month.
LIBRA
This month is all about creating your dreams, Libra. This is an exciting month for you and one where you are healing your inner child, gaining a new perspective, and manifesting your life. Libra Season is fully underway, and this is an impactful Libra Season for you, as there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in your sign on the 14th. This Solar Eclipse is your time to shine, to bring your dreams to the forefront, and to let go of the past that doesn’t resonate with you anymore. It’s all about the vision this month; focus on the best one for yourself.
With the Sun and Mercury in your 1st house of self for most of the month and Venus in your 12th house of closures, you are finding your balance between the new and the old. You know there is a lot to release emotionally in your life still, but you are also giving yourself the space and freedom to soak in the good that has already arrived and making you happy right now. On October 23rd, Libra Season ends, and you are ready to focus more on your plans for the future.
SCORPIO
October is a month of rebirth for you, Scorpio. This is one of the most powerful months for you and one where you are starting fresh in many ways. Mercury is in your house of endings for most of the month, and your mind is focused on your spirituality, finding solutions, and letting go of perspectives and habits that don’t serve you or your health. Through the transformations that are occurring right now, new life is coming to fruition.
Mars and Mercury both enter your sign before Scorpio Season begins on the 23rd, and by the end of October, the energy moves from release to receive. You have more energy at your disposal when Mars is in your sign, and you are moving through a time of passion, action, and making things happen for yourself. This Scorpio Season for you is one where you are creating a new life for yourself and following the dreams you left to the wayside.
SAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius, October is all about the heart and about showing up. This month for you is a time of support, friendship, and community, and a time where you are really discovering who your people are. You are awakening to what your inner child needs to heal and are seeking forgiveness this month. This is a time for you to move toward a new path in your life, one that feels more fulfilling for you and your well-being.
Venus is in Virgo and in your 10th house of career this month, and you are seeing some positive changes within your professional world. You are being received especially favorably right now, and this is a good month to ask for a promotion, network, or redefine your career goals. On October 14th, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in your 11th house, and your hopes and dreams are coming true for you. The clarity you gain this month is life-changing.
CAPRICORN
This month is all about patience, finding your peace, and exploring the world, Capricorn. You are focusing a lot on your belief systems, your intentions, and what goals you have set for yourself and your life. Venus is in your 9th house of adventure for most of the month, and you are really thinking about the big picture right now. You are doing more things differently this time of the year, thinking outside of the box and allowing your intentions to come to fruition.
On October 10th, Pluto goes direct in your sign. Pluto retrograde entered your sign in June, and you finally get to settle into the transformations that have been occurring since then. You’ve had a lot of moments of self-clarity and change, but now you are ready to live in this space and experience fewer changes to your environment. On October 28th, there is a Full Moon Eclipse happening, and this Lunar Eclipse is a time of love coming full circle for you. Relationships are developing at the end of October, and you are letting go of the past in love.
AQUARIUS
October is all about allowing life to unfold effortlessly, Aquarius. The path of least resistance is the most rewarding one, and this month, you are tapping into your inner faith. You have truly been trusting the process, and with the Sun in your 9th house for most of the month, the divine guidance is there for you right now. This month is about trusting that things are coming together for you and enjoying your life how you can right now.
On October 14th, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening, and this eclipse is helping you build new foundations in your life. You have goals you want to set, places you want to see, and people you want to meet, and this eclipse is highlighting all of that for you. The second eclipse of the month is happening on the 28th, and this Lunar Eclipse is about letting things settle in, finding your ground, and nourishing your inner world. You are going within a lot this month, and through the new insight you have found, you are ready to make some concrete decisions that have been needed.
PISCES
October is a time of compassion, nurture, and love, Pisces. You are putting the love into your life and feeling this energy come back to you as well. Venus is in Virgo, your opposite sign, for most of the month, and this is good energy when it comes to your relationships and your love life. Your focus is on the people in your life and where you want things to grow in love, and you are putting in the effort to make your dreams come true for you here.
With the Sun also in your 8th house of commitments for most of the month, another love area of your chart, you can expect this to be a more emotional month for you. You are getting vulnerable, expressing where you stand, and creating a new slate for yourself in love. On October 28th, there is a Full Moon Eclipse happening in your 3rd house of communication, and the messages and insights you have been looking for are coming in.
The end of the month is a busier time for you, and you will be suddenly seeing everything you want to do and plan right now.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole