Goodness, y'all. If 2020 hasn't driven any other point home—and we all know, there are a billion and one to ponder—it's the fact that now, more than ever, we've got to do all that we can to proactively care for our mental health and well-being. This includes seeing our physician if we're not feeling well. This includes making an appointment to speak with a reputable therapist, counselor or life coach, if we need some help working through some things. This means taking some time off of social media and turning off our phones so that we can take a break from all of the "noise" that is constantly around us. This means making pampering and chilling out top priorities. This means finding inner peace. You know what else? This also means practicing watching our diet. No joke.
One day, I'll have to get into how certain foods can actually affect your mental health in negative ways (checking out "Why You Should Consider Leaving Fast Food Alone" is a good starting point). But today, for now, let's look at 10 foods that are actually proven to improve your mental stability and longevity. Because, in times like these, we all can use every ounce of help that we can get…right? Amen.
1. Blackberries
It really is important to eat fruits and veggies when they're in season; that way, you can get the most nutrients out of 'em. That said, when it comes to blackberries, the best time of year to consume them is between the end of the summer and the beginning of autumn. If you wait until then to cop some, you'll end up with berries that are packed with vitamins C and K, fiber and manganese, along with antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties that will help to support oral health and strong bones. Something else that blackberries contain is anthocyanins; these are natural compounds that fight to inhibit the growth of cancer cells.
The reason why you should consider eating blackberries to improve your mental health is because anthocyanins also help to keep free radicals from damaging your brain cells in a way that could ultimately lead to memory loss. Also, thanks to the fruit's anti-inflammatory properties, blackberries can reduce brain inflammation that could possibly lead to long-term cognitive decline.
2. Lamb
One of my favorite meats is definitely lamb. I mean, give me some lamb chops and you've got a fan for life! Anyway, aside from being high in protein, lamb is also a good source of omega-3 and 6, along with vitamins B12 and B3, zinc and selenium. All of these point to this kind of meat providing quite a few health benefits. For instance, lamb is high in heme iron (a type of iron that is easily absorbed into your bloodstream); creatine (an organic compound that creates muscle mass); glutathione (which is a big time antioxidant), and Linoleic Acid (LA) which is an acid that can actually reduce your chances of having a heart attack. In fact, lamb contains more LA than any other meat does.
Lamb is dope when it comes to your mental health because it's also considered to be a dopamine-rich type of food. Dopamine helps to get you in a better mood, improves your memory, counteracts depression and can even make you less impulsive.
3. Broccoli
The tiny veggie trees known as broccoli are good for you for a myriad of reasons. Broccoli has protein, fiber, a ton of vitamins C and K, folate and Vitamin A in it. The antioxidants in broccoli help to fight off free radicals; the bioactive compounds it contains reduces bodily inflammation; its fiber decreases the chances of constipation; its bioactive compound sulforaphane helps to slow down the signs of aging, and the Vitamin C that's in broccoli will keep your immune system healthy and strong.
Another compound that broccoli has in it is kaempferol. There are studies to support that it's effective at reducing the inflammation of neural tissue. Plus, its other bioactive compounds are able to support healthy brain function too.
4. Shiitake Mushrooms
Although I'm not a vegetarian (or vegan), whenever I'm in the mood to go for a meat alternative, believe it or not, I typically reach for mushrooms. To me, they have a "meat-like texture" to them without all of the preservatives that a lot of "fake meat" contains. When it comes to mushrooms that are super healthy, you can't do much better than shiitake ones. They contain a fair amount of protein and fiber, but where these mushrooms really shine is the fact that they're high in copper and Vitamin B5. Plus, they contain compounds that will lower your cholesterol levels and boost your immune system, and they contain antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal properties that can reduce viral, bacterial, or fungal infections.
Shiitake mushrooms also have a good amount of zinc in them. This is great to know because zinc is a mineral that is scientifically proven to reduce depression-related symptoms while calming your nerves so that you're less anxious.
5. Swiss Chard
When the topic of dark leafy greens comes up, oftentimes it's ones like kale or spinach that immediately come to mind. But if you want to add some variety to your greens-eating collection, be sure to get some swiss chard into the mix. For starters, it's high in fiber. But what's really mind-blowing is swiss chard contains a whopping 716 percent of the Vitamin K that your system needs on a daily basis and 214 percent of the Vitamin A that you need as well (not to mention that it contains magnesium, manganese, potassium, iron and copper too). Swiss chard is also high in antioxidants that can help to protect your heart, lower your blood sugar levels and keep your weight in balance.
Thanks to the magnesium that's in this particular green vegetable, swiss chard can help to speed up the healing process of a migraine, put you into a better mood and, there are even studies that reveal magnesium can help to treat certain neurological disorders as well.
6. Maca
Maca is a medicinal root from Peru. Over the past several years, it's become all the rage because it also provides loads of health benefits. Maca offers 133 percent of the daily amount of Vitamin C that your body needs. Maca also contains 85 percent of the daily copper that your system requires too. It contains a pretty impressive amount of fiber and protein, along with a good amount of iron, potassium and Vitamin B6. If you're looking for something that will boost your libido, improve your partner's sperm quality or relieve menopausal symptoms, maca's totally got your back. Some athletes also take maca in supplement form in order to boost their endurance.
If you're feeling a little stressed out, getting some maca into your system might be just what your body desires. That's because another benefit of maca—whether in supplement or powder form—is it also helps to reduce anxiety and depression-related symptoms; this is, in part, due to the flavonoids that are in it.
7. Salmon
C'mon. Is there anything better than a piece of grilled salmon and rice, a salmon Caesar salad, or some fresh salmon sushi? Aside from how delicious these meals are, salmon has omega-3 fatty acids to lower your blood pressure and give you a boost of energy; vitamins A, D, E, and K to support your bone and eye health; B vitamins to level out your cortisol levels, and fatty acids to lubricate your joints and also keep your skin healthy and radiant.
The omega-3 fatty acids in salmon are really good for your mental health because they can help elevate your memory retention. Plus, those acids, combined with the Vitamin D that is also in this type of fish, can help to give you a boost of energy and feelings of positivity on the days when you are feeling a little on the low side.
8. Brown Rice
Brown rice is a whole grain. Off top, that makes it a food that is good for your overall health and well-being. It's got fiber, protein, and a ton of manganese (81 percent of your reference daily intake). Brown rice also contains selenium, magnesium, phosphorus, and vitamins B1, B3, and B6. Since this is the kind of whole grain that also has phytic acid and polyphenols in it, brown rice can lower your blood sugar. The selenium in it can help to prevent your arteries from clogging up and its fiber amount can help to keep you regular and toxin-free.
Brown rice does your brain a world of good because it also has the natural compound Gamma-Aminobutyric (GABA) acid in it. It's kind of a long story but, basically what GABA does is help to slow down the neurons in your brain so that you don't feel as upset, worried, or anxious as you would if they were running full throttle. The more you know, y'all.
9. Seeds and Nuts
Do you like to snack on seeds like pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, and chia seeds, or nuts like almonds, cashews, or peanuts? If so, good for you. Whether you realize it or not, when you eat seeds and nuts like these, your body is getting a good dose of monounsaturated fats (which decreases your chances of having heart disease or type 2 diabetes), zero dietary cholesterol, lots of fiber, plenty of antioxidants, and vitamins and minerals like vitamins B6 and E, folate, magnesium, calcium, zinc, copper, selenium and plant iron.
Something else that both seeds and nuts have an abundance of is serotonin. This is good to know because it's a natural neurotransmitter in your body that regulates your moods, your sleeping patterns, your libido, and your appetite. When serotonin is flowing throughout your body, your mental health and well-being are better in every way.
10. Cinnamon
Cinnamon is a must-have spice for any woman. It maintains vaginal health. It's a great aphrodisiac. It contains strong antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties. It lowers the amount of bad cholesterol that's in your system. Cinnamon also has the ability to reduce the amount of insulin resistance that's in your body. It fights viral and bacterial infections. There are even studies that reveal that cinnamon slows down the growth of HIV cells.
As far as your brain goes, not only does cinnamon fight to stifle the build-up of tau (a protein that can eventually lead to Alzheimer's disease), but whether you smell it or consume it, cinnamon is a spice that increases cognitive function and memory. So, whether you decide to sprinkle it on a favorite drink or bake with it, make sure to add cinnamon more to your diet. Your mental health will thank you for it in so many different ways!
Featured image by Shutterstock
- 10 Foods That Boost Your Mood - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love ... ›
- 10 Quick & Easy Immune System Boosting Hacks - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 1. Mushrooms - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- The Importance Of Cognitive Well-Being In Overall Brain Health - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, Wellness ›
- Alzheimer's Disease: Symptoms, Causes, Signs, Prevention - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, Wellness ›
- Healthy Diet, Healthy Brain: 15 Foods for Mental Health ›
- Best diet for mental health: Can certain foods help? ›
- 10 Foods That Boost Mental Health | ICANotes Behavioral Health EHR ›
- Eat Well, Think Straight: 20 Foods To Improve Mental Health ›
- These Women Treated Their Anxiety and Depression with Food. ›
- 7 Foods to Improve Your Mental Health and Wellness ›
- Healthy Gut, Healthy Mind: 5 Foods to Improve Mental Health ... ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
‘Found’ Star Shanola Hampton Spent $532 On Her Wedding. 6 Reasons Why That’s Beyond Bomb.
A few weeks ago, a girlfriend asked me to name a female celebrity who I personally found to be physically beautiful. Although it took me a second to run through my mental Rolodex, two people who came to my mind were actorsJavicia Leslie (who I first “stumbled upon” via the series Chef Julian) and Shanola Hampton.
As far as Shanola goes, I was first introduced to her via the independent film Things Never Said(which also starred Omari Hardwick). Anyway, it’s always so cool to watch people evolve in their respective fields and Shanola has definitely become a household name thanks to the role that she currently plays inthe NBC seriesFound.
And y’all, my fondness for her certainly went up a few notches after I peeped a few things that she recently shared ina PEOPLE interview. In 2025, she will have been married to her beloved for 25 years (salute!). As she was talking about their wedding day, she shared that they eloped in Las Vegas, that it only cost them $532, that she wore a thrift store dress and “Erykah Badu headwrap” and that she only has one regret.
Because they were “too broke” at the time to afford a full elopement package, they didn’t get a videotape of her nuptials (they do have pics, though). She also said that a big part of the reason for the regret is because she adored her husband, Daren’s vows: “Gosh, if we could only have seen what it was going to be...” INDEED.
As a marriage life coach, something else that I appreciated about the article is when she said, “Yes, you learn and grow and evolve. But you don't change each other by marrying each other." Lawd, if more people really got that, less folks would end up in divorce court (check out “The Right Relationship IMPROVES Not CHANGES You”).
However, the main reason why I’m using Shanola’s words of wisdom as the intro for this piece is because I know far too many couples who either keep putting off wedding plans to save thousands of dollars for a ceremony or they are far too stressed out because they think a big wedding is something that absolutely must be done.
Well, between what you just read and what you’re about to read, here’s hoping that you’ll realize (and accept) that there are all kinds of benefits that come from taking the “less is more” approach — yes, even when it comes to wedding days.
First, the Difference Between a Micro-Wedding and Eloping
GiphyI promise you that I don’t get why so many folks damn near hyperventilate whenever they hear “small wedding” (or micro-wedding which is apparently the popular term right through here). It’s like they are automatically wired to think that means making some wack concessions or that they automatically have to elope. Well, before getting into some actual facts that come from taking the minimalist approach to one’s nuptials, let me just say that just because you don’t end up having 500 people on your wedding guest list or three choices of cuisine at your reception, that doesn’t mean that you have to end up at the courthouse in a pair of sweats.
For one thing, treat yourself to TikTok and put “Black elopements” in the search field. Yes, even if you do elope, you can still dress to the nines (or 12s because you don’t have to spend as much money as you would on a wedding), it can be at another location (like a beach or even a church) and then you have the rest of the day to do whatever you want: post up in a swanky hotel, fly some place that requires a passport stamp for your honeymoon — whatever. And, since you’re eloping, you and your bae can be totally off the grid the entire time.
However, a micro-wedding is a bit different. Basically, it’s what happens when you do pretty much everything that you wanted to do for your wedding only, it’s with a guest list of 50 people or less. And I’m pretty sure you can see the immediate benefit that comes with taking that approach: you’re able to save money — and y’all, since reportedly a whopping 56 percent of couples went into debt just from their wedding alone and financial issues continue to be a leading cause of divorce, well, yeah, don’t diss a micro-wedding. It definitely has its perks.
Okay, but there are other researched and fact-based reasons why it can be a wise move to go smaller as far as weddings are concerned. Here are just six of ‘em.
1. Expensive Rings (Oftentimes) Predict Shorter Marriages
GiphySome of y’all may remember the student last year who went viral on TikTok and then became a news story thanks to his under-twenty-bucks device that let teachers at his school know if their engagement/wedding ring was the real deal or not (chile). Hmph, all it did was remind me of the De Beers origin story of engagement rings and how I will continue to share it until each and every cow comes home. Basically, the company was going broke, it came up with the slogan “a diamond is forever” and folks have been drinking the Kool-Aid ever since. SMDH. And what’s really wild is while people actually think that saving up three months of a salary is a sign of one’s everlasting love, there are articles out in cyberspace with titles like “Why an Expensive Ring May Predict a Short Marriage.”
In this one, it features a study that said the people who spend somewhere between $2,000-$,4,000 have a higher chance of divorcing. The reason? Eh, I’d venture to say that it’s probably not so much about the ring itself but the motive behind why someone wants a really expensive one, how realistic their expectations are about marriage and their financial future, and if they want to be a wife or just a bride — and yes, there is a really big difference, chile (check out “Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?”). Not to mention the stress that the groom-to-be may have experienced to make the sacrifice (especially if it was above his means). Either way, take note.
2. Smaller Weddings Can Be Exquisitely Intimate
GiphyI have a little love sister who has been engaged for over three years now. Y’all, it can’t be said enough that the purpose of being engaged is to plan your wedding — literally that is what the time is for. Know what else needs to be reiterated? The fact that some studies say that the longer you’re engaged, the more likely you are to divorce. One study gets even more specific than that. It says that if you’ve been engaged for more than 27 months, the intimacy between you and your partner will suffer during its newlywed years and yes, it could lead to a serious breakdown in the relationship.
That’s why I’ve been telling her that instead of her and her fiancé damn near killing themselves to pay for an over-the-top wedding, they can have a smaller one — one that is more intimate and can be just as beautiful. If you don’t believe me, check out Brides' “40 Small Wedding Ideas for an Intimate Affair” piece. Personally, I’ve always liked the idea of renting out a really nice vacation house and having loved ones all stay together while getting married at the same location.
Sometimes big weddings are so big that a lot of the “closeness” is lost and certain moments are a complete blur. With a smaller wedding, the chances of these things transpiring end up dropping…significantly so.
3. The Planning Process Is Far Less Stressful
GiphyI’m telling you, when it comes to this topic, the facts just keep on coming. Boy, there is nothing like working withan engaged couple while they are planning their wedding — if that doesn’t reveal some things about what their relationship is actually made of, nothing will. Hey, but you don’t have to take my word for it.
A few years back, Business Insider published an article entitled, “Wedding planners reveal the 10 biggest red flags that a couple won't make it.” One of the things that it said was, “From unrealistic budgets to family conflicts, there are multiple problems that can arise during the wedding-planning process that can create rifts in a marriage or even lead to divorce.”
Yeah, they ain’t neva lied because if you don’t know how to keep your emotions in check, how to negotiate, how to set boundaries with family members and friends (bookmark that one), and how to compartmentalize your wedding with the rest of your relationship — you shouldn’t ignore that; it’s actually showing you something about your dynamic that you should address prior to jumping any broom.
Anyway, the main moral to the story when it comes to this one is if your wedding is small(er), there is less to plan…and if there is less stress, then your relationship won’t end up having to endure so much pressure. #justsaying
4. Less Folks? Less People to Please.
GiphyAh yes, the bookmark. Listen, if you are a bona fide people-pleaser (check out “How To Stop Being A People-Pleaser & Start Doing You”), the wedding planning process is going to test you in ways that you’ve never been tested before! This will especially be the case if you have some pretty poor boundaries with your loved ones (and/or perhaps his) to begin with. It’s another message for another time that you really need to involve people in the planning process who know that it’s you and your fiancé’s day (NOT JUST YOURS), that they should just be supportive and encouraging (not demanding and entitled) and it only needs to consist of who will make it be about your needs over their wishes.
For now, I’ll just say that when your wedding and guest list are smaller, there are far less people to, well, please. And again, if you are a people-pleaser (or a people-pleaser in recovery) that can really take a load off.
5. Cheaper Weddings Lead to Happier Marriages. Science Says So.
GiphySo, about a decade ago, CNN published the article, “Want a happy marriage? Have a big, cheap wedding.” The gist of it simply stated that “a new study found that couples who spend less on their wedding tend to have longer-lasting marriages than those who splurge.” The first thing that comes to my mind on this one is simply, that some people marry people and others “marry” weddings. Now does this mean that every couple who has an opulent wedding day is shallow and superficial or that they are getting married for the wrong reasons? Of course not. For one thing, some folks can afford to have an expensive wedding (meaning, it won’t put them into debt to have one).
Plus, having extravagant taste doesn’t mean that someone’s love isn’t real. AT THE SAME TIME, THOUGH, having a big wedding thinking that it proves something? It really proves nothing as far as the foundation of a healthy marriage is concerned. Yeah, my biggest takeaway from this point is when you just want to start the “becoming one” process with the man who you love, the price tag really doesn’t matter. They way it should be.
6. Finances Can Go Elsewhere
GiphyLast year, CNBC published the article, “Gen Z, millennial couples say it’s too expensive to get married in this economy.” Boy, and if this doesn’t prove the ultimate point that I’ve been trying to make this entire time, nothing will. Y’all, when you really want to be with your “one”, who cares about how beaded a dress is, how expensive a venue should be or how tall a cake looks — and so, why should you wait damn near forever until you can pay for all of those things? A party is nothing compared to a lifetime partner. That said, STAY FOCUSED.
Besides, all of those thousands that you saved by not having a big wedding can go to things like a downpayment on a house, a really long international honeymoon, a new car, a savings account for your future children, a retirement account — the possibilities really are endless and all of them can help your marriage to have a more solid footing.
____
So, if you initially read the title of this and low-key got cynical, maybe now you get just how “onto something” Shanola and her husband — again of almost 25 years — actually were. Smaller, less expensive weddings can be absolutely priceless. For all sorts of reasons. As you just read.
Again, salute to them and, if you are (currently) engaged, wise wedding planning wishes to you.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images