

OK so, there is this Nigerian woman who goes by the name EfikZara. She's got an Afro that is absolutely mind-blowing—like for real, for real. She's gorgeous and kind-of puts me in the mindset of the actor DeWanda Wise with a vibe that is sorta like another YouTuber, nappyheadedjojoba (who I featured last year in the article "Single Minded: So, What If You Like Dating But DON'T Desire Marriage?"). Anyway, as I was checking out EfikZara's video "Why The Natural Hair CULT (Community) is TRASH...? WILL I QUIT?", I noticed a comment that was made by a viewer who goes by Daytime Vegan:
"I feel this way about the vegan community. It has become a cult that spews hate to anyone who isn't a purist vegan eating salads and smoothie bowls every day. Don't dare eat a vegan frozen pizza or cook with oil or even THINK about leaving veganism. Many vegans will come for your blood. It really is exhausting."
(I know, right? She's also got some pretty counter-cultural thoughts on hair grease, too. You can check those out here.)
I'm not a vegan or vegetarian, but with headlines like "Hundreds of thousands ditching meat as part of January vegan resolutions that will continue through the year, campaigners say," I think that it's super-important to not only acknowledge the ever-growing vegan community, but to provide it the support it needs. Part of what comes with that is offering knowledge. So today, let's dive into some common mistakes that many vegans make.
The first one would be what Daytime Vegan said. If you want to be a vegan, cool. But just like I'm sure you don't want anyone cramming their philosophies or way of life down your throat (see "How To Respect Someone's Path When It's Nothing Like Your Own"), it's important to extend that same courtesy to others---even when it comes to diet.
That said, as far as your health goes, it's not enough to just think that if you totally abstain from animal products, you're all good. Believe it or not, there is such a thing as being an "unhealthy vegan", and here are some of the main ways that people end up becoming one, sometimes without having a clue.
1. Not Getting All The B12 You Need
I'm someone who is borderline anemic. Something that totally turned that around for me is taking a B12 supplement. Not only is B12 something that helps to prevent megaloblastic anemia, it also maintains your nerve and blood cells, supports bone health, and can help to keep depression-related symptoms at bay.
The reason why this tops the list of vegan-related mistakes is because there are more and more articles coming out like "A doctor is warning vegans not to believe internet rumors that vitamin B12 is unnecessary" due to the fact that many vegans are not intentional about getting enough of this vitamin into their system. You can avoid being one of them by taking a daily supplement. Or, you can eat more foods rich in B12. It's true that it's easiest to find B12 in fish and dairy, but fortified cereals and some plant-based milk alternatives including hemp, cashew and coconut milk are good vegan sources too.
2. Not Getting Enough Calcium, Either
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A lot of us grew up hearing that dairy was the best way to get the calcium that we need. Personally, I never got why humans seem to be the only mammals who not only drink another mammal's milk but continue to do it well into adulthood. As if that ain't enough of a reason to reconsider consuming it, dairy also gets major side-eye because it can cause body inflammation, raise insulin levels, increase mucus production, and it comes with a certain amount of cancer risks. I mean, it's not like you can't get all of the calcium that you need without milking a cow.
Almonds, kale, broccoli, oranges, chia and sesame seeds, amaranth grain and spinach are just some of the non-dairy options that are calcium-rich.
And, of course, this is a mineral that also comes in supplement form if you'd rather go the "pill a day keeps the doctor away" route.
3. “Overdosing” on Protein
One of the biggest concerns that a lot of newbie vegans have when they are transitioning over to a vegan lifestyle is if they'll be getting enough protein. While protein is certainly essential in order to build and repair body tissue, grow hair and nails, and make pretty much all of the body chemicals within our system, you don't need as much as you probably think that you do. If a man gets around 56 grams on a daily basis and a woman takes in 46 grams (which is around 10-15 percent of your daily caloric intake), everything should be all good.
And just how can you know if you are low-key overdosing on protein? Headaches, digestive issues, nausea, dehydration and fatigue are some of the signs. So, if you've been eating a ton of oats, corn, potatoes, cauliflower, Chinese cabbage, sundried tomatoes and/or artichokes and you've been experiencing any of these symptoms lately, scale back a bit. If you start to feel better, chances are, you did take it a little too far on the vegan protein tip.
4. Eating Way Too Much “Vegan” Junk Food
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I remember watching an episode of Beverly Hills, 90210 back in the day where Brenda declared that she was a vegetarian and shamed her family for eating beef, only for her brother Brandon to call her out for wearing a leather jacket. That's what I think of whenever a vegan friend of mine is piling up on junk food. Not eating meat doesn't mean you can't still overdo it when it comes to sugar, sodium and Lord knows what else.
If you're not sure if you are someone who falls into the "junkie vegan" category, you might want to read "Are You a Junk Food Vegan?" in its entirety. A simple way to know is based on something that was referenced in the article: "A junk food vegan is a vegan who regularly consumes highly processed foods which are primarily made in science labs." Yep, that's about it in a nutshell. Another article that breaks down some vegan junk food that needs to be replaced with some healthier alternatives is "10 Vegan Foods That AREN'T Healthy—And What to Eat Instead".
Remember, just because you might not eat steak or chicken wings, that doesn't mean those veggie chips and dairy-free cookies can't raise your blood pressure too.
5. Or Eating Way Too Many Meat Substitutes
I guess if you're a vegan, strictly for environmental reasons, I get why you would constantly be on the lookout for foods that have a taste and texture similar to meat. But other than that, I would like to hear in the comment section why someone would give up meat and then want something that's as close to it as possible. I mean, it's not like a lot of these meat substitutes out here ain't loaded with sodium, processed chemicals, and a high price tag. It's also not like there aren't plenty of articles out in cyberspace suggesting that you avoid "fake meat" as much as possible (see "The trouble with fake meat", "The Foods You Should & Shouldn't Be Eating On A Plant-Based Diet" and "Are Meat Substitutes Bad For You Or What?"). Does this mean that you can never have an Impossible Whopper for lunch? I don't think that's the conclusion. Just make sure that you do all things in moderation. Fresh fruits and veggies are always gonna be better for you than a burger—no matter what form it comes in.
6. Not Taking in Enough Calories
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Something that a lot of people overlook is, when you decide to go without meat and dairy, that means you are also going without fat in your diet. This means less calories which means you actually need to eat more. When you take into account that veggies and fruits consist of a lot of water and fiber, you're probably not getting nearly as many calories as meat-eaters do; especially if you're eating the way you always have.
Here's the deal. If you want to maintain your current weight, as a woman, you need somewhere around 2,000 calories a day (1,500 if you wish to lose about a pound a week). Men need about 2,500. Apples, carrots, cucumbers, garlic, grapefruit and peppers are extremely low in calories. So, until you get used to what foods can give you the daily caloric intake that your body requires, you might want to refer to a calorie chart (like this one), just so you can get used to your new calorie intake normal.
7. Becoming Iron Deficient
Something else that meat does is provide a good source of iron. You can actually eat a 4 oz steak and get about 20 percent of the iron that your body needs for the day. So, as a vegan, just make sure that you've got some 100 percent grape juice, dark leafy greens, lentils, asparagus, sweet potatoes, raisins or dried apricots around. Otherwise, you could end up with brittle nails, shortness of breath or even a damaged immune system.
8. Forgetting All About Omega-3 Fatty Acids
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One of the most important reasons to make sure that you've got some omega-3 fatty acids in your system is so that you can protect your heart. It's proven that these acids help to slow down the development of plaque around your arteries, reduce the chances of you having a heart attack or stroke, and can even lower your blood pressure. I personally take them in supplement form because they're really good at keeping my skin and hair moisturized; studies also say that they can protect us from UV damage too.
I must admit that omega-3 capsules are a little on the large side. So, if you'd prefer to get this nutrient via your diet, since salmon isn't your thing, try the following—walnuts, flaxseeds, hemp seeds, chia seeds, spinach, brussel sprouts and purslane (which is basically a weed that can be treated just like lettuce).
9. Not Doing Enough Research on Different (Health-Conscious) Recipes
The folks that I know who flip-flop back and forth when it comes to whether they are a practicing vegan or not, they typically struggle due to sheer boredom. That's why this point also makes the health-related vegan mistakes list. Think about it—if you are vegan in order to detox your system or because you think it would be better for you overall, it's important that you find healthy recipes that will keep you committed to your health plan.
If you're currently seeking some inspiration, our article "15 Vegan Soul Food Dishes That'll Make You Rethink Meat" can help you out. I also recommend that you check out sites like Blacks Going Vegan, Veggie Soul Food and downloading the Black Vegan Tube app; it's an app that is totally free and offers support and info to people within the Black vegan community (their IG handle is @blackvegantube). Some vegan chefs that you might want to start following include Rachel Ama (@rachelama_), Jenné Claiborne (@sweetpotatosoul), Bryant Terry (@bryantterry), Stacy Dougan (@simplypurely) and Shauna (@Blaq.Vegan). The more you learn, the more exciting veganism can become for you.
10. Not Having a Grocery Budget
Yep. I sure did put this on the health list. If you're spending so much money on food that you can't pay your rent, I think that could lead to an anxiety attack, at the very least. Shoot, the last time I went to Whole Foods (which was just a couple of weeks ago), I spent almost $50 on three cartons from the hot bar (one was vegan collards, by the way), so y'all can't convince me that veganism is a cheaper route to go. Still, I will agree with the stance that it can be more affordable than a lot of us think if there is a budget in place, less "brand names" are purchased, and there's a commitment to cook from scratch. For instance, instead of always buying a Beyond Meat Beast Burger, take out a weekend to learn how to make your own black bean burger instead. And, rather than always being up in Whole Foods, take a stroll through your local farmers market.
Hmph. Come to think of it, if budgeting is something that you keep fumbling on, maybe going vegan can change all of that. There is no way that you can be a "good vegan" without preparing a grocery list beforehand and, if you want to come home with more than one shopping bag, you need to set some money aside. Anything that can make you responsible with money has got to be at least worth trying. Yeah…I'll think about it (wink).
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How I Transitioned My Meat-Loving Family To A Vegan Diet
10 Foods You Should Eliminate From Your Diet If You're Trying to Lose Weight
How To Stan For Your Newly Vegan Homegirl Like She's Beyonce
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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