April is STI (Sexually Transmitted Infections) Awareness Month, and let’s be honest: bringing up the STI talk with our potential (or existing) sexual partner can be… well, awkward.
According to the WHO, over 1 million new cases of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are collected every day, and the CDC’s 2021 STD surveillance data revealed that STIs are continuing to rise across the nation. Although STIs are highly common among adults over 25, the topic of safe sex and prevention still remains stigmatized.
Sharing your sexual history with a new partner can sometimes bring up an array of uncomfortable feelings. You may be worried that your partner will see you as “damaged goods,” fear being judged, shamed, or concerned that they may find you uptight for encouraging them to get tested. But according to Dr. Kameelah Phillips, board-certified OB/GYN and founder of Calla Women's Health, STIs don’t discriminate, nor should we.
“Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) happen to everyone, regardless of socioeconomic, religious or political lifestyle, she tells xoNecole. “There are many misconceptions and stigmas around contracting an STI, but it really only takes one partner to get infected, and STIs don’t care who you are, where you come from, or what your background is.”
Since most sexually transmitted infections are asymptomatic and can solely be detected through passive screening methods, undergoing testing is vital in determining your status and reducing the risk of developing serious health consequences in the long run.
Transparency, openness, and proper education are all keys to helping destigmatize the STI talk and normalizing the conversation. Creating a safe and non-judgmental space where individuals can discuss their sexual health without fear of criticism can help to dispel misconceptions that fuel the stigma surrounding STIs and allow both parties to feel safe during intimacy.
But maybe you still don’t know where to start. To help you get your STI talk moving in the right direction, we’ve tapped Dr. Kameelah Phillips to share how to break the ice when having “the talk” and get you on the way to safer and more secure sex.
What are some effective prevention methods for not contracting STIs that you feel may be overlooked?
"There are plenty of ways you can ensure you’re practicing safer sex — from condom use to dental dams and mutual pre-relationship testing and agreed monogamy. Now, I get it, mutual monogamy cannot always be guaranteed, so even for the longest-standing relationships, I recommend routine testing. Self-pleasure is also a sure way to avoid STIs. There is still some risk involved with every sexual encounter, which is why it is so important we remove the stigma associated with STIs and encourage patients to test regularly for STIs."
How often should sexually active individuals get tested for STIs, and what types of tests are available?
"A standard STI panel will include chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomonas, syphilis, HIV, and hepatitis. Providers follow CDC guidelines, which vary depending on the STI. For chlamydia and gonorrhea, for example, we should be testing women 15-24 years old annually for these STIs regardless of the patient’s reported sexual behavior. Because these two common STIs are often asymptomatic, and there’s a lot of stigma around having an infection, automatically screening these young women for chlamydia and gonorrhea can help identify more cases and help protect patients’ reproductive health.
"A good rule of thumb is to ensure you’re getting tested for STIs annually or with every new partner. If you don’t get tested, you may never know. Many STIs don’t have symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to get tested."
What populations are at highest risk for STIs, and what are some targeted strategies for prevention and education?
"The CDC just released new data that found some racial and ethnic minority groups, gay and bisexual men, and our nation’s youth are disproportionately impacted and continue to experience high rates of STIs. In 2021, the highest rate of reported chlamydia and gonorrhea cases was among non-Hispanic Black or African American persons.
" Diversity in our healthcare providers is one way that we can foster a safe space for patients to feel comfortable talking about STIs and voicing any symptoms or concerns.
"Another important strategy specific to chlamydia and gonorrhea is an opt-out screening approach. Unless they decline, young women 15-24 years old are tested annually for STIs regardless of their reported sexual behavior. The CDC acknowledges this screening approach in its latest CDC guidelines as a way to improve patient acceptance, substantially increase screening, especially among patients who do not disclose sexual behavior, and be cost-saving."
How can individuals communicate with their partners about STI testing and prevention?
"Anyone who is sexually active should feel empowered to discuss their sexual health with their partner. Communication about sexual health is a normal and healthy part of a sexual relationship.
Some conversation starters include:
- “I like to talk with every new partner about STI testing for peace of mind.”
- “When were you last tested for STIs?”
- “I’ve started seeing someone new and want to make sure we both get tested to start fresh together.”
- “I’m worried someone I had sex with might have exposed me to something.”
What advice do you have for individuals who are nervous or embarrassed about getting tested for STIs?
"Getting an STI can happen to anyone. It's very common, and in fact, half of sexually active people will contract an STI by the time they're 25. Getting tested for STIs is easy and can be free, fast, and confidential. It is usually painless and just a quick swab or pee in a cup.
"If you do test positive, it's just the first step toward treating it. And with common STIs, like chlamydia or gonorrhea, antibiotics will treat your infection. The real problem is when STIs go undiagnosed. Take chlamydia, for instance, it can lead to serious health issues like infertility."
If you’d like to find a clinic near you, you can use the CDC clinic locator at https://yesmeanstest.org/.
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- This Is How To Have Safe Sex In The Age Of COVID-19 ›
- How To Talk About Intimacy Issues With Your Partner ›
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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