

Sex Down South Is The Conference You Want To Be At - Even If You Don’t Know It
There's a place where fairy tales exist and I'm wholly convinced that place is Atlanta, Georgia, or at the very least within the realm of the 2018 Sex Down South conference. Here in this space, I found myself in the presence of sex positive black magic and I'm not sure it gets much better than that.
SDS is one of the few conferences that caters to the need for a safe space and the desires to explore sexuality, academically and otherwise, that people of color have. Here, in this space, black sexuality is made a priority helping to shape the careers and lives of sex workers, educators, and other professionals in the arena.
As someone who goes to school for human sexuality, this is of the utmost importance to me — having a like-minded community, that is. There are not many people of color in the field of sexuality, so having that network professionally is beyond necessary and it can be found right at this conference.
Nonetheless, I had been eyeing this conference since before I began pursuing my education and with that in mind, I think that the simply sexual human being in me would've loved the space just as much. In any given city, it's difficult to find a scene that is inclusive to all the freaky things that we do (did anyone else sing this in Christina Milian's voice?) or wish we could be doing.
As I've mentioned in a previous article, I had been trying to branch out into the Black kink community, but that sh*t is basically nonexistent but not at Sex Down South -- not in the space where anything is possible. Now in all fairness, the kink community in general is one that you must be invited into by someone who is currently in it but let's be real, how often are white people (who are the visible majority) inviting us into their spaces?
But, aside from the kinky events that could be explored, there were more vanilla topics such as an amazing interactive "Facesitting 101" and "Fuckstrology" (the astrology behind good sex) workshop.
And on the more PG side of things were the healing circles. Being surrounded by Black women in that way — in the way that I was for this healing circle -- felt like coming home. Within the circle that I attended, I found myself comfortable enough to break down crying in the midst of strangers within the five minutes of introducing myself to them and pulling a tarot card that summed up my entire life in that moment.
There is something for everyone to give and receive by attending this sexuality conference.
Furthermore, in the ongoing presence of networks such as CENTRIC and Historically Black Institutions, there's proof of all the ways having our own space can uplift us and acts as a catalyst for Black excellence.
Yes, I'm saying a Black sex conference might be one key to Black excellence because in my eutopic worldview of Black excellence, it's identified by a well-rounded, well adapted individual of color that begins within. And I wholeheartedly believe that can be further manifested in spaces like Sex Down South.
With that in mind, here are three reasons everyone should attend SDS at least once.
1. Sexual Healing
After centuries of having black bodies used as pawns to control the dialogue, imagery, and perception of us. One of the greatest things that Sex Down South offered was a blueprint for sexual healing in the black community through a number of diverse workshops, from "The Baby Mama Bounceback: Black Women Redefining Their Sexuality After Motherhood" to the "Decolonizing Sex" and "A Place for Me: Black Women's Healing Circle." This type of healing is difficult to begin to achieve out in the real world because generally speaking, our day-to-day spaces aren't safe ones for black sexuality, whether it be sex negative black people or sex positive black people who like to keep their spaces white. Here, you are given the space and the tools to redefine and reshape what our sexuality means to us without the socialized tenants.
2. Each One, Teach One
Much like a good Church, this safe space wasn't only available for those who knew without a doubt they wanted to explore sexuality, in one way or another, it was also readily available to those who opened themselves up to learning and those who had questions on any number of topics. Meaning, if there was a not-so-sex positive person in the space most conference-goers used this as a space to educate, correct, and challenge any ignorance that may have been present.
3. Destigmatizing Human Sexuality
Sometimes we can get in the bad habit of labeling the unknown as "white people shit." Culturally, we've done so with homosexuality and so many other elements of sexuality that we simply don't get or don't attempt to get. If history has taught us anything, this type of shame makes it difficult to come forward as an individual who goes against what society deems "right" or "natural." We've seen it in black people's fear in embracing those within the LGBT community, but we also see that and hear people refer to other sexaulity topics such as kink as white people shit. This labeling is used to describe sexual assault, making young black girls and boys believe these things happen to white people. So, if and when it does happen to them, they feel isolated and unseen. But educational, interactive conferences like this help change that type of labeling and destigmatize sex little by little. None of this is just stuff that happens to white folks, it's stuff that happens to all of us.
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Featured photo by Mickie Woods
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Is Once Ever Enough To See Beyoncé's "Renaissance World Tour?"
Many have wondered if one time is ever enough to see Queen Bey. Some argue yes. However, many of us on the opposite end of the spectrum, including myself, would disagree. Beyoncé's "Renaissance World Tour" is a universal yet varying experience for everyone who attends. In the words of Oprah Winfrey, the concert is "transcendent." For millennials, we have over two decades of her catalog that has served as the soundtrack for many of our lives and painted a personal portrait of our most coveted thoughts. Her music provides mental clarity and self-expression by serving as a universal language that has united fans from all walks of life through community, fashion, self-acceptance, and healing.
With a multi-layered approach to her artistry, just as she did on that winter day in December 2013 with the infamous digital drop of her self-titled album, she changed the game again on February 1, 2023, when she announced her world tour in support of Renaissance, her seventh studio album. Her cultural impact set the internet ablaze, with everyone trying to gather their coins, barter for presale codes, and figure out which cities to attend. The group chats were lit, and the Beyhive was stressed trying to get their hands on tickets.
Photo courtesy of Dontaira Terrell
Unfortunately, I was in that number. As the concert dates passed by and the one in my city drawing near all roads led to disappointment. With time ticking on the day of the Miami show and less than two hours to spare, my wallet bit the bullet, and I purchased three last-minute tickets, costing roughly $700.00 a piece (including fees) for me, my 9-year-old and 16-year-old nieces in Section 121 at the Hard Rock Stadium. With 10 minutes before showtime, we eagerly awaited the Queen to take the stage. A sea of metallic fringes, cowboy hats, disco fans, and western boots were in full effect and filled the entire stadium.
As the lights dimmed, a flood of emotions instantly overtook my body. It continued with each note she belted, along with nearly 50,000 roaring fans. The reverberating sound of the music through the stadium transported me from one era of my life to the next. As a teen girl in her bedroom daydreaming about her first love to blossoming into an unapologetic Black woman who is still on a road of self-discovery while learning to lean into the power anthem of "You won't break my soul." For over two hours, and with each set, I felt joy, love, peace, and a commanderie with fellow concertgoers. It was therapeutic as I danced like no one was watching and sang as if I were alone in my bathroom mirror.
There were no bars held, and I realized at that moment, "Nobody can judge me but me." The "Renaissance World Tour" proved to be so vast, and my Black girl joy was re-invigorated. It was magnetic and liberating, and I had to attend again, but this time, I needed to be up close and personal; I needed to be on the floor. In the days that passed, I watched more social media clips in different cities and asked myself if I would really splurge again to attend another Renaissance show.
Photo courtesy of Dontaira Terrell
After all, this would be my thirteenth time (maybe more because I lost count) seeing Beyoncé live, whether she was on tour with Destiny's Child, as a solo artist, or doing a live appearance. I contemplated for a while, but it worked itself out on its own. I was gifted two tickets and the next thing I knew, I was off to LA to attend another Renaissance show with floor seats at SoFi Stadium during Beyonce's 42nd birthday weekend! This time, things were different: no kids were allowed. It was adults only this go round.
Although the energy at the Miami and Los Angeles shows was empowering, infectious, and a celebration of life, happiness, and identity, they each provided their own unique experience. However, both concerts were what I needed for my well-being, leaving me with sore feet from dancing the night away, on vocal rest for the next few days from screaming at the top of my lungs, and on an indefinite high on life.
My introduction and love for Beyoncé began in 1996, while my older sister lived in Houston, TX, right before Bey hit the scene in 1998 with "No, No, No" as a budding R&B member. Her evolution twenty-seven years later as an international superstar and into womanhood has been an incredible journey to witness. As Mrs. Carter reminds each of us in the audience every night before the curtain closes, "I want you to remember this moment, where you're standing, who you came with, and take it with you. I hope you feel inspired."
I truly felt inspired, so thank you, Queen Bey. You awakened my inner child, and I will definitely remember these moments and take them with me.
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Feature image by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for Parkwood