

So, as I was reading an article that Glamour published a few years back entitled, “The 12 Rules of Swimwear Shopping, According to the People Actually Doing the Buying,” it got me wondering about how much people spend on bathing suits and how often it is recommended that we should replace them. As far as the first point goes, it would appear that around one-third of individuals are comfortable with spending over fifty bucks on their swimwear. As far as how often they (should) get a new suit? It would appear thatsome experts say one summer season (three months) is each one’s shelf life.
Although some of this depends on how often you wear a suit and how well you take care of it, if you keep one for a couple of years, not only could it end up not fitting you very well, like the wear and tear of panties can end up not protecting your vulva and vagina as well as it should, the same goes for a bathing suit.
And that got me to thinking that since it is officially swimsuit season now, it would probably be a good idea to run down some rules for engagement as far as your suit and your vagina (and vulva, which is the outer part of your vagina) go. And so, if you’ve got a sec, I’ve got 10 hacks to keep in mind.
1. Remove Hair No Less than 24 Hours Before Getting into the Water
My waxer tickles me and also grosses me out, every year, around this time. The reason? Swimsuit season. The gross-out factor? Hearing what happens when people roll in for appointments right before a summer holiday or vacation, only to (sometimes) come back with a nasty rash or hella irritated skin. The cause? Thinking that they can get hair removed and then get into the water (other than their own bathtub) on the same day. Why is this a big deal?
Because, as much as most of us probably don’t want to think about it, pools and oceans (and especially Jacuzzis) house germs, and when you get hair removed from your body, your pores become especially susceptible to them while they are open. And so,although some skin experts state that you should wait a few days to swim after removing body hair, my waxer says 24 hours is pretty solid, so long as your skin isn’t super sensitive or you don’t notice any irritation prior to getting into the water. Just make sure that you do wait a day, though. It’s worth the precaution.
2. Consider Putting a “Barrier” into Your Vagina
That same (potentially) dirty water that can bother your skin can also irritate your vagina if you’re not careful. So, if you plan on being in the water for hours on end, something else that you might want to do is put in a “swimming tampon” or a menstrual cup — even if you’re not on your period. As unconventional as it might sound, it can help to keep the water from lodging up in your vagina and throwing off your pH balance. And well, the more your pH remains stabilized, the less you’ll have to worry about getting some type of infection later down the pike.
P.S. If you are a tampon user, make sure to go with an organic brand. More and more studies are coming out that certain popular tampons contain things like arsenic and lead in them. You can read more about that here.
3. Apply a Water-Free Moisturizer
It’s kind of wild that you can spend time in the water and it could still dry you out. That’s because swimming pools containchlorine, which contains drying chemicals. Know what else can dry out your skin (including your vulva)?Ocean water (due to the salt that it contains). So, if you want to maintain a healthy amount of moisture around your vulva, apply a water-free moisturizer before getting into any water (you can check out a list of somehere); that way, you can be sure that the moisturizer you apply will not literally wash away as soon as you go swimming.
4. Shower Before and After Getting Out of the Pool
Speaking of what pools and ocean water can do to your va-jay-jay, another proactive way to keep them from bothering your vulva and vagina (too much) is to shower before getting into the water and immediately after getting out of it. Not only will that help the chemicals in swimming water to be more effective (protection-wise), but it can also remove the impurities that may be on your body (like sweat and small amounts of fecal matter), so that they don’t mix in with the water and irritate your genitalia later on.
5. Get Out of Swimwear As Soon As Possible
It’s pretty common for a lot of us to get out of the water and allow the combination of heat and air to air dry our suits. The problem with that is that the hot weather and moisture of the fabric can create the “perfect storm” as far as a potential yeast infection is concerned. That’s why it’s always a wise move to get out of your swimsuit as soon as you’re done swimming. Your vagina will thank you. Trust me.
6. Give Your Vagina Its Own (Dry) Towel
If you’re someone who really likes to be on the safe side as far as vaginal health is concerned, you should probably bring along a hand towel that will serve as a drying tool for your vagina. Listen, the cleaner and drier the fabric is that touches that part of your body, the better. There's not much more to say on this point than that. Moving on.
7. Wash Your Swimsuit After Each (and Every) Use
While certain folks say that you should only be concerned with washing your swimsuit after every wear if you’ve been in water that contains no chlorine, is ocean water (i.e., salt water), or if you’ve been lying out (and sweating) for a long period of time, I’m personally gonna advise that you wash that bad boy after every use. Your vaginal discharge alone is enough of a reason to treat your swimsuit basically like it’s underwear as far as proper hygiene goes — and would you go a couple of wears with the same drawers? Please say that you wouldn’t. LAWD.
8. Keep Some Pure Aloe Vera on Tap
I don’t know if y’all caught it or not, but last year, (supposedly) one of the biggest summer fashion trends was what is called the “Vagina G-string.” Basically, it’s a bikini with a bottom that has nothing but strings other than a teeny piece of fabric to cover your vulva up. In my mind, all I could imagine was extreme discomfort, in partdue to chafing. Chafing is basically what happens when things like friction can irritate your skin to the point where you may end up with a rash, some really dry or flaking skin, and/or an itchy and/or burning sensation.
Since everything from exercise and body weight to weather and clothing (including bathing suits) can cause chafing, it’s a good idea to 1) pick a bathing suit that fits the lower part of your body comfortably and 2) have some pure aloe vera gel around. Not only can it help to immediately soothe chafed skin, but it can also speed up the healing process if you happen to end up with some.
9. Beach Sex? Eh. Not So Much.
I once read that around 30 percent of folks have had sex on the beach. Uh-huh. As romantic as that might sound (to some of y’all), all I can think about is the hot-ass-prickly sand that could potentially get all up into my vagina. Yeah, no thanks. And listen, even if you try and pull a Beyoncé-Drunk-in-Love move and pull your swimsuit bottoms to the side, that doesn’t mean that you still won’t end up pissing your va-jay-jay off with said sand.
Hell, don’t take my word for it; even major news sites likeUS Health News says that sand “…can be difficult to remove and become a breeding ground for bacteria, yeast and other things that prime the vagina for infection.” So, take that to a private deck if you must be outside. Oh, and if the plan is to be in the water, apply some silicone-based lube first. Water-based lubricants are ineffective in actual water.
10. P.S. Yes, There Is Such a Thing As Period Swimwear
Final point. If your period happens to be on the heavier side (especially during the first couple of days of your cycle) and you’ve got a vacation coming up that you can’t reschedule, don’t feel like you have to sit along the side of the pool or ocean and watch everyone else have all of the fun. Just like there are panties that are customized for periods, there is swimwear that also fits the bill. If you go to your favorite search engine and put “period swimwear” in the search field, you’ll see a variety of companies that carry really cute swimsuits for when it’s “that time of the month.” In fact, a good starting point would be Good Housekeeping’s “The Best Period Swimwear of 2024, Tested and Reviewed by Experts.”
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You know,according to NASA, 2023 was the hottest summer that we’ve had in about 2,000 years, and yet, already, it feels like 2024 is gonna straight-up rival it. So, if spending a lot of time in pools or at beaches is at the top of your to-do list, now you know how to keep your vagina in good condition — as you turn heads in that fly-ass swimsuit of yours.
Have fun. Be safe. Take care of you…and her. #wink
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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