Even though this month consists of two of the most popular days of the entire year—Christmas and New Year's Eve—I recently discovered that December features another day of observance; one that surrounds doing one of my absolute favorite things on the planet—taking a bath. Well, in the spirit of all that is pampering and luxurious, guess what today (December 5) is? It's officially National Bathtub Party Day (#BathtubPartyDay) which is all about encouraging us to forego the five-minute shower that a lot of us take on the way to work and, instead, choosing to get very up close and personal with our tub instead. How awesome is that?
What's really special about this is the fact that, aside from the pure relaxation that comes from taking a long soak, there are lots of health benefits that you can get from spending time in your bathtub too. Bathing increases blood circulation, reduces pain and body inflammation, soothes achy joints and muscles, detoxifies your skin and even helps to balance out your hormones. Plus, if you decide to bring a guest into the tub with you, well, like they say—the more, the merrier!
So, before heading home tonight, do yourself a favor and stop by a store to pick up some of the following items; ones that will turn your bathtub party into one that you—and yours—will not soon forget.
Soy-Scented Candles
A big part of what comes with having a luxurious bath time experience is setting the right mood. Something that can help you to do that is turning off your bathroom light and lighting some candles instead. I recommend going with soy ones because they burn longer and cleaner (which means they are better for the environment).
If you're going to bathe alone, get some scented ones that will help you to relax—lavender, rose, jasmine, lemon and frankincense are all wonderful de-stressors. If your boo will be joining you, go with scents like vanilla, pumpkin, sandalwood, ylang ylang and orange are surefire ways to light your libidos right on up.
Plants and/or Flowers
Something else that's a nice addition to bathing is making the room as tropical as possible; especially during the fall and winter seasons. You can do this by bringing a couple of plants and/or flowers into your bathroom and either placing them on the toilet or—if the plants are tall enough—beside it. My recommendation would be to get two bouquets of roses. You can use one to set the atmosphere and you can pull the petals off of the other to place into your bathwater. Not only will the petals make you feel extravagant, DIY rosewater will make your skin silky soft as well.
92-Degree Bath Water
Earlier this year, I penned a piece entitled "Did You Know There's A Right & A Wrong Way To Take A Bath?". One of the things that I touched on is what the temperature of your bathwater should be. According to a lot of health experts, it's best if your water is lukewarm; based on something that I recently read, 92 degrees qualifies as being that. But if you want to make sure that your water isn't too hot or too cold, test the temperature with your wrists rather than your fingers before getting into the tub. Your skin is more sensitive on your wrists, so you'll be able to get a more accurate read by using them.
Bath Salts
As far as what you should actually put into your bath water, don't sleep on bath salts. Not only are they able to detox your system, they also can boost your immunity, soothe your muscles, balance the alkaline levels in your body, increase your energy levels and, because it's currently cold outside, bath salts are able to relieve any congestion that you might have too.
If you're wondering what kind of salts to get, it all depends on what you want to accomplish most. Epsom salt is a great detoxifier. If your body feels tired and drained, peppermint salts will revive you. Looking for salts that will treat dry skin? Go with some almond or orange ones. Or, if you want the kind of salts that will effectively treat skin conditions like psoriasis, eczema or acne, opt for some seaweed bath salts. As far as grain size, the smaller the salts, the more effective they are. Oh, and bath salt colors play a significant role as well. Cooler hues tend to offer a more soothing effect while warm colors are more prone to energize. Just make sure that you go with bath salts that are made from sea salt; they are the ones that will give your body the most benefits.
By the way, if you'd prefer to make your own, all you need is some Epsom salt, sea salt, baking soda and your favorite essential oil (or oils). You can check out a pretty simple recipe here.
Essential Oils
Something that can give you a great aromatherapy experience is if you add a few drops of essential oil (no more than 20 drops is best) into your bathwater. Although pretty much any kind will do, if you want to clear up your nasal passages, go with eucalyptus; bergamot reduces stress; chamomile will help to relax you; rosemary increases blood circulation (which automatically makes it an aphrodisiac oil); cinnamon contains antispasmodic and analgesic properties that relax muscles and even help to clear up chest colds; neroli promotes a good night's rest, and clary sage reduces symptoms that are associated with anxiety.
Bath Pillow
Something that can totally change the way that you soak and bathe is investing in a bath pillow. Not only do they help to support your neck, back and shoulders, some studies cite that they can increase your ability to relax while you're in the tub by as much as almost 85 percent. This link can provide you with some fan favorite brands. Or, if you want to run by a local Bed Bath & Beyond on your way home, look for the Luxury Spa Bath Pillow. Home Depot has a Soft Comfort Spa Seat Cushion too.
Bath Gloves and DIY Shower Gel
Personally, I'm a fan of using bath gloves in order to wash up; that's because I am able to comfortably reach all parts of my body. As a bonus, bath gloves are an easy way to exfoliate while I'm washing up. As far as what you should wash with, if you add some shea butter, glycerin and xanthan gum to the castile soap that you already have, you can lather up with a wonderful-feeling homemade shower gel (cop the full recipe here).
Red Wine
Thanks to the antioxidants, flavonoids and polyphenols that are in red wine, you'll be doing your body a real favor if you treat yourself to a glass of it while you're in the midst of enjoying your bath time. The key is to have no more than 4-5 ounces (per day) and to get the kind of wine that will be the most personally beneficial for you. If tons of antioxidants are what you're after, look for a madarin wine. If you'd prefer less sugar and calories, pinot noir has your back. Also, if you want to know what kind of red wine is healthier overall, dry is better for you than sweet.
An Ultra-Plush Towel
Something else that's super important is the kind of towel that you decide to hop out of your bathwater with. If you like super plush towels, ones that are made out of Turkish cotton and are 820-gram are probably gonna be your best bet. Or, if you'd prefer the kind that will dry your skin quickly and also won't take forever to dry on your towel rack, opt for a towel that is made out of microfiber.
If It's Gonna Be a Party for Two:
Shower First
A husband once told me that the only way that he will ever take a bath is if he takes a shower first. Personally, I don't do that when I'm alone, but if I were to share a tub with someone, that's how I would get down too; especially since taking a bath with another person isn't really about getting clean…if you know what I mean. And who wants to soak in each other's dirty and dead skin cells for thirty minutes or more? Yuck.
Besides, as far as the showering first part goes, it's not like you can't make some things go down while you're scrubbing in the shower. Shower sex was actually one of this year's biggest sex trends, so why not literally go out of 2019 with a…bang?
Less Bubbles, More Milk
If your plan is to get "dirty" before getting clean, it's probably best to lay off of the bubbles. Between all of the moving around in the water, they can prove to be a little irritating if you and yours aren't careful. Instead, swap out the bubbles for some homemade bath milk. It has a way of naturally exfoliating your skin and making it really soft as a direct result. (There's a great recipe for it here.)
Music (or ASMR)
Don't ask me how I ended up reading "Chance the Rapper Made You a Bath Time Playlist", but all things work together and it did remind me to put play some music on the list. If you're bathing alone, this is another way to get into a relaxing mood.
However, the reason why I reserved this for the "party of two" section is there's a study that says music makes sex better because it actually enhances our sense of touch.
Sounds like a good enough reason to bump some R&B if you ask me. Or, if you'd prefer to feel like you're caught up in a wind or rainstorm, YouTube has plenty of ASMR videos that you can play which I also think is pretty hot.
An Aphrodisiac Drink—or Two
When you're alone, have some wine. When someone is joining you, serve up an aphrodisiac drink like Cupid's Kiss, Ginger Mango Granita, Mango Jasmine Bubble Tea, Mexican Hot Chocolate Martini or Saratoga. All of these contain at least a couple of ingredients that officially make the aphrodisiac list and between all of the wetness and closeness, just imagine what an alcoholic libido booster can do for the two of you.
Waterproof Lube
Just one more thing. If you do plan on gettin' it in while you're bathing, it's a good idea to keep some waterproof lube by the side of the tub. Water has a way of washing off your natural wetness, so you need something that can replace it, just so the sex remains wet 'n wild rather than dry and uncomfortable. Astroglide is a popular brand that you should be able to find at Walmart. Enjoy your time in the tub. You (and yours) deserve it!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes
5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself
8 Insanely Good Sex Positions That You've Probably Never Heard Of
I've Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul
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RELATED
So, today? Today, we’re going to tackle how sex impacts us when it comes to our energy fields. What (mostly) inspired this is once reading a science-based article about how it is a fact and not a myth that just like plants can absorb energy from other plants, humans can do the same thing by being in the space of other human beings. And when you stop to really think about it, doesn’t that make all of the sense in the world?
Otherwise, there wouldn’t be terms out here like “peer pressure” and big grown folks wouldn’t be out here trying to look and act just like some of their favorite celebrities or IG influencers (and yet, on that point, I digress).
So, since energy impacts us in some pretty significant ways, let’s take a few moments to see how it goes down when it comes to copulation — just so that you’re (even more) aware of what you’re getting yourself into when you “do the do,” as far as your personal energy space is concerned.
Energy. Revisited.
GiphyOkay, so before we get all up in how energy is exchanged during sexual activity, what is energy as it relates to human beings, in general? Well, in some ways, it all depends on who you ask. For instance, the famed Greek philosopher Aristotle once said that energy is about having the capacity to do something. Some medical experts say that energy is all about how something impacts you on a mental or physical level.
For instance, negative energy tends to be very heavy and draining while positive energy can increase feel-good chemicals throughout your system which makes it easier for you to do things like be creative and problem-solve. Something else that I think is important to keep in mind as far as human energy goes is it’s impacted by a myriad of things including a person’s stress levels, how healthy a person is, what their life choices are (as far as how their decisions influence them) and even what their sleep patterns are like.
And if all of this is true, then something else that Aristotle once said about energy would be beyond accurate: “The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”
Energy is life. Whew, so if this is indeed the case, does this mean that when you choose to have sex with someone, you are sharing your life force — whatever state that may be — with someone as they are doing the same to/for/with you? YES.
What Does It Mean to Exchange Sexual Energy?
GiphySince I grew up in an entertainment industry household, I think that’s probably why I’ve ended up with some close friends who are in the industry as well. That said, I will never forget when I was talking to one of them one day about a particular artist. When I expressed how much sex appeal that she had, my (male) friend simply said, “Yeah, I’ve been in her presence a few times before. She has some really dark energy. I didn’t even hug her.”
Now from a scientific standpoint, dark energy is simply what causes the universe to accelerate in growth over a certain period of time; however, when a person is described to have dark energy, that usually means that they have an evil and/or negative and/or heavy and/or draining aura about them. And y’all, here’s what’s semi-wild about what he said: did you know that science backs that hugs do indeed transfer energy?
Yep, research reveals that a hug from someone can literally alter your brain and body chemistry — so you definitely need to be discerning about who you let up into your affection space. Straight up. And so, since a hug has the capacity to do that, how much more can SEX?
To further emphasize this, let’s begin with an article that I read on Healthline’s website entitled, “Do We Really Exchange Energy During Sex?” After checking it out, one of the main things that I appreciated was when a doctor who was interviewed for the piece said:
“Every sex act is an exchange of energy [because] every sexual act raises or lowers your energy level…Therefore, a sexual relationship isn’t a purely psychological or physiological, mechanical act…Rather, it’s an energetic action. When we have an intimate relationship with someone, the two energies merge.”
Okay, so according to science, when two people have sex, energies merge. Well, according to Scripture, when two people have sex, oneness transpires (Genesis 2:24-25). Let’s keep going.
There was once a Physician-scientist by the name of Wilhelm Reich (who actually died in prison, in part, because of his radical beliefs on sex and orgasms during his time), who once said that having a healthy sex life (which, to him, including orgasms and is what he referred to as “orgastic potency”) is what played a huge role in one’s emotional health and well-being. That’s because, to him, without the release of sexual energy, neurological disorders would be come to be.
My takeaway from this is when you think about the fact that things like serotonin, dopamine, and the “the bonding chemical” oxytocin are all released during sex (and most certainly during orgasms), and also since sex (and orgasms) reduce stress — you need to tend to your sexual energy for the sake of your holistic health. Let’s continue on.
After reading an article on sexual energy on Cosmo’s website in which one of the sex therapists said that “our sexuality is our power" and then reading an article on the same topic on Well + Good’s platform where another expert stated that, “Many belief systems believe sexual energy is an expression of the soul's connection to the cosmos and the rest of the universe”, I thought about the word “power” and then “soul connection.”
At the end of the day, power isn’t just ability but the capability to influence and even take authority over something or someone. And a soul connection? Several years ago, when I penned a piece for the platform entitled, “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” one of the things that I made sure to emphasize is your soul IS also your life. This means that soul connections are life connections.
And so, it would appear that sharing sexual energy also means that you are making a life connection with someone. And that type of connection has the power to influence you in ways that you couldn’t even begin to imagine. That is how deep exchanging sexual energy is.
What You Should Always Keep in Mind Before Sharing Sexual Energy with Someone Else
GiphyNow are there degrees to this whole sexual energy thing? Of course. The type of connection that a husband and wife of 20 years can make via sex is very different than a one-night stand. However, it would appear that science believes that it doesn’t really matter what you tell yourself about sex with someone (or even how many condoms you may use during sex) — potent energy is exchanged regardless.
That’s a huge part of the reason why I will forever roll my eyes about how ridiculous “casual sex” sounds to me, because, although I do believe that it is very possible to engage in coitus that has no real purpose (casual is purposeless, by definition), what isn’t possible is for there not to be a significant connection made from a scientific standpoint. Because again, if a mere hug can alter you (shoot, a handshake too), do you really think that allowing a man’s penis into the sacred space known as your vagina will not? After reading all of this…do you really?
When it comes to energy, author T. Harv Eker once said, “Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.” With all that was just shared about sexual energy, each and every person you choose to “engage” with, they are either going to affect you or infect you — just with their energy alone.
Knowing this, if there was ever a time to choose wisely, this would be it.
Your energy is your power. Who you exchange power with? CHOOSE WISELY.
EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON.
And because energy can shift…be cognizant of what you’re doing…EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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Featured image by Giphy