Meagan Good On Being A Preacher’s Wife: "He Wasn’t Looking To Change Me"
Meagan Good and her husband DeVon Franklin have been candid about their religious beliefs and views about celibacy in the past, so much so that they co-wrote a bestselling novel about it. But as a woman who didn't always consider herself to be a religious person, Meagan Good finally opened up about what it's really like to be a preacher's wife.
The couple met nearly six years before they went on their first date during a brief exchange brought on by a mutual friend, but it wasn't until they bumped into each other at her premiere for Jumping the Broom that the two finally connected. She toldParade:
"I saw him at different events over the years, but it wasn't until 'Jumping the Broom' when we really reconnected, and that was like almost six years later and I just remember like a time when we hung out on set and I was thinking, 'That's the kind of guy I wish I could marry.'"
GREGG DEGUIRE VIA GETTY IMAGES
Meagan's wish came true, but only after she made the decision to heal herself from the inside-out. Meagan explained that 10 months prior to meeting DeVon, she had given celibacy a try in an attempt to find some clarity about what and who she wanted in her life.
"I had gotten out of another relationship and started praying about what was next and what I should be doing and I started being celibate and working on myself and healing."
That night, DeVon asked his one-day wife on a coffee date that, less than a year later, would turn into a wedding engagement.
"He asked me out for coffee and two weeks later we went out on our first date, it was 10 months later that we were engaged, a few months later we were married, and it will be seven years on June 16."
DeVon clearly didn't waste any time putting a ring on it, but the engagement came with some stipulations that Meagan hadn't exactly anticipated. The actress told MadameNoire that celibacy may have been the craziest thing she's ever done for love, but she worked through it because she was committed to the payoff.
"Ultimately I stayed in it because I felt like I wanted to do things God's way and I felt like I wanted to honor my marriage and I wanted to set us up to win and to do this thing once."
Meagan explained that abstaining from sex before marriage in she and DeVon's relationship was necessary to building a truly long lasting marriage.
"I believe that it helps because the relationship wasn't based on physicality and I think sometimes when that leads the relationship and that type of connection, I think sometimes you can't really see clearly and you settle for things that you wouldn't settle for during long term. And you don't really realize that until three or four years down the line."
It's big facts that when you have sex with someone, you both chemically and physically bond with them; and don't get me started on the spiritual aspect because if you know like I know, there are some real soul snatchers out there who we mistakenly see as potential through rose-colored glasses; but Meagan insisted that by abstaining from sex before marriage altogether, she was able to see things for what they really are.
"I think you get so wrapped up in a person in a certain way that you don't always see all of them and you can't really always determine if you can actually spend a lifetime with that person."
While Meagan is proud to have remained celibate before her wedding date, she shared that there are other some rituals that come with religion that she isn't fond of.
Although I am a woman of God and will be until the day that I die, I can acknowledge that religious rhetoric can sometimes be twisted and transformed into a very dangerous thing. It's this rhetoric that contributes to the level of homophobia and sexism that exists in our community today. It's the same rhetoric that Meagan says has at times, made her feel both unworthy and unwelcome. Despite being a devout Christian, this is the real reason Meagan says she doesn't always attend church with her husband:
"If I'm being completely honest, my experience with some church folks has not been that positive. It's unfortunate because we're supposed to be the biggest lovers. And it's like even if you disagree with someone or you don't think what they're doing is right, you're supposed to mind your own business and pray for that person. Other times, you're supposed to correct in love if that's what God told you to do. And there was no correction in love. It was like a complete assault."
She explained that though she will always love God and the church, she knows herself well enough to know that you have to love some of the congregation from a distance:
"And even though I've gotten to a place of balance, I'm the type of person if I see someone crying, I'll start crying. I'm extremely sensitive so I have to protect my spirit because those people don't always know what they're doing."
Despite the fact that she's had some bad experiences in the church, Meagan says that her marriage to DeVon is proof that you can't generalize a religion based on a few of its members. I think we all remember the viral video where DeVon had to check a church-going woman about coming for Meagan's wardrobe, and he's kept that same energy throughout their marriage. Meagan explained:
"The great thing about him is like he wasn't looking to change me in marriage. He knew who I was before marriage. And so there is growth that happens individually and collectively. So, it wasn't like 'Now, you're married. You can't do this anymore. You can't do that.'"
To read Meagan's full interview with Parade, click here!
Featured image by Getty Images
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Myha’la Herrold Talks Embracing Her Unique Smile And The Advice She Would Give Her 'Industry' Character
Myha’la Herrold is all for people celebrating their uniqueness. Growing up, Myha’la encountered numerous situations that forced her to embrace her differences regardless of what others thought about them. Her smile, for example, is a feature she takes pride in. However, family members and dentists alike have tried to get her to change it.
The Industry star has two peg lateral teeth, which are small, pointy teeth that are located on each side of the upper front teeth. While there may be some people who don’t understand her decision to keep her natural smile, Colgate recognizes its beauty and has partnered with the 28-year-old. Myha’la opens up about the exciting partnership in a xoNecole exclusive.
“So, it was actually quite funny this came through for me, and I was like, Huh? Okay, And they were like, well, they're doing this new campaign. It's all about celebrating your unique smile. And I was like, how did they know?” She laughs.
Myha’la Herrold
Courtesy
“I have two peg lateral teeth. They're these tiny little teeth in the front. They're my adult teeth, but they're small. They're like, you know, an abnormal tooth, and lots of people have them and sometimes they're asymmetrical. A lot of people get them capped or filled or whatever. And so many times throughout my life, like people I did not know, dentists would approach me like randomly and hand me their card and be like, 'Whenever you're ready.' I was like, ain’t no way…I was like, ain't nothing wrong with my teeth. Nothing is wrong with my smile.”
She calls her Colgate partnership a “perfect pairing” and stresses how important it is for her to always look like herself and take care of her teeth. The Leave the World Behind actress is one of the many people in her generation leading the charge for self-love and advocating for themselves. Thanks to millennials and Gen Z, we are now having more conversations about mental health and self-care while challenging the status quo.
"So many times throughout my life, like people I did not know, dentists would approach me like randomly and hand me their card and be like, 'Whenever you're ready.' I was like, ain’t no way…I was like, ain't nothing wrong with my teeth. Nothing is wrong with my smile."
Myha’la Herrold
Courtesy
Myha’la explains why it’s necessary to appreciate our differences rather than give in to society’s standards of what is considered beautiful. “I'm so here for it. I'm so here for it because I said this earlier, but it was something I was thinking about that I was like, oh this is kind of a lightbulb moment for me. I feel like we are so desperate to feel accepted and like a part of something, and that translates into how we present ourselves to the world,” she says.
“So people are like, oh, I want to have really white teeth or really uniform teeth or whatever so that I can look like everyone else. But us as human beings... all of us are completely different, like down to a biological level. So really, the things that like makes us a part of a whole is our uniqueness. The fact that we are different is like what makes us human beings, and I feel like that's actually quite comforting. I can feel a part of something bigger than me because I understand that all of us are uniquely perfectly, uniquely different, and that's what makes us who we are.”
Another positive Myha’la shares about being unique (cues Beyoncé) is saving money because, according to her, “I'm not trying to spend all this money so that I can look like somebody else because the thing that people love the most about me is me.”
"The fact that we are different is like what makes us human beings, and I feel like that's actually quite comforting. I can feel a part of something bigger than me because I understand that all of us are uniquely perfectly, uniquely different, and that's what makes us who we are."
Myha'la Herrold attends the UK Special screening of 'Leave The World Behind.'
Dave Benett/WireImage
Myha’la’s confidence is also reflected in her work as an actress. Currently, she stars as Harper Stern in the HBO Max series Industry, which is about a group of recent graduates competing for coveted permanent roles at an esteemed investment bank in London. Harper is intelligent, tenacious, and the one to watch. However, her hunger to be successful keeps her on the outs with her peers, and her family trauma keeps her very guarded.
The rising star has this to say about her Industry character. “I would just remind her, like, remember what got you here,” she says. “You were unabashedly yourself. You let these people know that you were the best and the brightest and what you had to offer, that they needed that, so I would just say remember that. Do that ‘cause it worked the first time.”
Whether you love her or hate her, Harper is a force, but unfortunately, in the season two finale, her ambition left her in a predicament that has put her career in a place of uncertainty. While Myha’la can’t give away season three’s plot, she does share what she hopes for her character.
“What I will say is I hope that Harper gets what she wants. I hope she gets what she wants. I'm always rooting for her,” she says.
“I feel like Harper is my good sis, and I'm like, girl, if you would just listen to me one time, things might go different for you. But what I hope is that she gets what she wants because I feel like it's like past due. We need a win for her.”
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Featured image by Irvin Rivera/Getty Images for IMDb