DeVon Franklin Says Only A Woman Like Meagan Good Could Have Ended His Decade-Long Celibacy
DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good's start of their relationship was interesting to say the least, and a story that they have told many times over. It was pretty standard for both of them: boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy thinks girl is out of his league. Girl meets boy, girls like boy, girl starts telling everyone that he was her husband.
But there was one factor to their relationship that wasn't as ordinary: celibacy. More specifically, his celibacy, set to the tune of ten entire years. Ten. Decade. Diaz. Dix.
Fortunately for the happy couple, the stars aligned at the right time, and the two have stood by each other's side ever since.
In 2011, the two began dating after getting to know each other on the set of the film Jumping the Broom, and the two eventually got married in June 2012. According to the actress, their marriage was preordained by God.
"The first thing that God told me was that it was time to get out of [a not-so-great] relationship. The second thing that God told me was that it was time to be celibate. The third thing that God told me was that Devon was my husband."
But it was when the two joined Oprah on the OWN Network's Super Soul Sunday to discuss that we learned how their relationship is deeper than what they could ever express.
On why Franklin decided to be celibate:
"I was raised in the church. So from a very early age, I was taught, you know, wait--you gotta wait 'til marriage. And I definitely subscribed to that. But when I got in high school, I didn't wait. But I was still telling people that I was waitng because I didn't have enough courage to let people know that I made a different choice in my life."
He continued:
"I started preaching when I was 15, so I was teaching people how to live. I felt like I was doing that publicly. But privately I was doing something different. And the public person and the private person were at war. I had no peace."
He goes on to discuss being in a bad relationship as well, and him speaking to God about helping him.
"I said, God, I don't have enough strength to get out of this, but if you get me out of this relationship, then I am going to practice 'the wait.' so I can align my public self with my private self so I can have peace."
And since that day, he began practicing celibacy with an iron fist and didn't break his promise until his wife Meagan came along:
"Because if I have no discipline in sex before marriage, then I have no discipline in sex after marriage. What you've practiced, and what habits you have, are still there."
And what Meagan shared what she learned in waiting too:
One of the most profound moments came when Meagan told it like it is on how we can determine who is husband material. When Oprah asks, "Women usually say, 'I can wait.' But if I don't at some point, I am going to lose him. So your waiting doesn't work unless the other person is waiting too right?"
"That was a big issue for me because if he does leave me because I am not worth him waiting in his eyes, then he's not my husband. If someone does not think I am worthy of wanting to be the best version of myself, and wanting to get healing, and wanting to set myself up for success, if they won't do that with me, then I don't want to spend the rest of my life with them."
Watch the full video below:
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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