

Welp. Here Are 15 Things That Could Be Pissing Your Vagina Off.
Something that I’ve had for, basically what seems like forever, is a fungal sensitivity. This means that I have to stay on top of things that could trigger health-related issues like a yeast infection or a health condition known as tinea versicolor (you can read more about it here). One way that I do that is by being hypervigilant when it comes to making sure that my vagina stays at a healthy pH level (check out “Sis, This Is How To Keep Your Vagina's pH Balanced”). One way that I accomplish that particular goal is by avoiding things that I know will, quite frankly, piss my vagina off.
It really is fascinating that, with as much of a powerhouse as our vaginas are, they can still be somewhat fragile as it relates to what needs to be done in order to keep them healthy and happy. And since very few things are more annoying than vaginal itching, burning, or shifts in discharge, I’m going to share 15 things that you should take special note of — if you want to keep your own vagina from getting super upset with you.
1. Fragranced (or Antibacterial) Body Wash
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When it comes to keeping your va-jay-jay clean (check out “Are You Washing Your Vagina Correctly? You Sure?”), it’s first important to remember that your actual vagina (the muscular inner tube that connects your vulva to your cervix) doesn’t need your help; it’s self-cleaning. This means if something smells strange or there’s a lot of uncomfortable discharge going out, douching is not what needs to be done…going to see a medical professional is what your move should be.
As far as your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) goes, while plain water can get the (cleaning) job done, if you would prefer to go a few steps up from that, make sure that you go with all-natural ingredients (check out “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes”) and that you avoid heavy fragrances or even antibacterial soaps.
No matter how much those types of commercial brands may boast about keeping your vagina “extra clean,” more times than not, all they’re going to do is irritate your vulva and remove “good” bacteria from your vagina in the process.
2. An Unhealthy Gut
Did you know that somewhere around 80 percent of your immune system is in your gut? This is one reason to be conscious of your diet and to add a probiotic to your system. Not only will your immunity thank you for it, but so will your vagina. That’s because when your gut isn’t in tip-top shape, that can trigger gut inflammation which could cause “bad” bacteria to wreak total havoc in your gut and your vagina as the bacteria travels down to it. So, if your gut has never really been a priority to you before, there’s no time like the present to change that…right?
3. Baby Wipes
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If nothing else ends up being your “something new” in this article, this very well may be. Did you know that you actually SHOULD NOT use wipes while going to the bathroom? According to a rectal surgeon, things like baby wipes can actually get you “too clean” in the sense that they can strip away some of the good bacteria that your body needs. As a result, constant use of them can trigger a yeast infection. Plus, if you have human papillomavirus (HPV), the wipes can actually spread warts. Kind of mind-blowing. Mind-blowing, indeed.
4. Not Cleaning Out Your Clitoral Hood
I will always find it to be hella ironic that while a lot of women turn their nose up at a man’s foreskin (“uncut men” tend to give more sexual pleasure than cut ones, by the way), it’s like they forget (or maybe they don’t even know) that their clitoral hood is also a form of foreskin: it’s skin that covers up and protects their clitoris (check out “7 Reasons You Should TOTALLY Be In Love With Your Clitoral Hood”). With that said, although clitoral hoods probably get as much hygienic attention as belly buttons do, it is a good idea to be intentional about cleaning yours out at least once a month.
Things like panty lint, pubic hair, and dried discharge can get caught up in there, and when that happens, it could lead to discomfort or irritation. To get it right, all you need to do is put some olive oil on a Q-tip, gently pull back your hood, and rub underneath it. Problem solved.
5. Fast Food
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Sure, fast food is convenient. Still, when you get a chance, read “Why You Should Consider Leaving Fast Food Alone.” It’s got a few reminders in there for why we should actually be leery about an entire meal costing less than eight bucks (give or take a couple of dollars). When it comes to your vagina, foods that are high in fat, are heavily processed or fried aren’t good for “her” because they can cause bad bacteria to overtake the good bacteria that’s in there — and that could trigger bacterial vaginosis or other forms of vaginal irritation. Does this mean that you can never have a burger? Eh. The bigger takeaway is enjoying a combo a couple of times a week, every week, probably isn’t the best idea.
6. Dairy
Although I’ve never been a big milk drinker, what I will do is tear some cheese and ice cream up. I will admit that, the older I get, the heavier I feel whenever I have more than a couple of slices of pizza or scoops of ice cream in one setting — and I know that it’s because dairy isn’t the best for me…me, or my vagina. Yep, something else that can trigger your vagina is dairy. One reason is that the hormones in it can throw off your own natural hormonal balance.
When this happens, it can block estrogen from creating the mucosal lining needed to keep your vagina from experiencing certain types of infections. So, while the thought of absolutely no dairy may not be for you (hey, I get it), at least try and consume it in extreme moderation.
7. Condoms
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Although latex allergies are a very real thing, reportedly, between 1-5 percent of the population actually have one. And even if you happen to fall within this small number, there are quite a few alternatives to latex condoms these days, including polyurethane and polyisoprene ones (and let’s not forget the female condom) — so there really is no excuse to go without using one.
So, why is it that some condoms can irritate the vagina even if you’re not allergic to what it’s made out of? Charge it to either the spermicide (which may be too strong for your vagina) or the need for lubrication (to reduce friction). The thing to remember here is not to go without condoms; just be more thoughtful about what your vagina needs when purchasing them.
8. Dirty Fingers or Fingernails
Business Insider once published an article stating that you can easily have anywhere from “100,000 to a few million germs” on your hands at any given moment (eww). Now add to that the fact that your fingernails tend to hold those same germs along with the type of bacteria that can make you vomit or get the runs (especially if you wear nail tips) and the moral to the story is this: whether your partner plans on putting his fingers in your vagina or y’all have some mutual masturbation plans going on, washing hands and using a fingernail file to get any reachable “gunk” out is most definitely a good idea. So is doing this before inserting a tampon or menstrual cup because the less bad bacteria that gets into your vagina, the better.
9. New Sperm
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It’s not uncommon for some women to go through a season of abstinence, return to sex and end up with some sort of vaginal infection. Actually, a similar thing can happen if you start sleeping with someone new (unprotected) as well. That’s because, while sperm/semen is usually alkaline, your vagina is acidic. This means that your partner’s fluids can throw your vagina’s pH way off until it adjusts to it. Hmph. Another reason to be pro-condom usage, if you ask me.
10. A “Wet” Penis
If you’re out here having unprotected sex, please make sure that your partner “wipes his Willy” well before engaging in intercourse with you because another thing that can irritate your vagina is urine. Since it contains a pretty high amount of acid, when his urine comes into contact with your vagina or your vulva, it can lead to burning, itching, and even something known as vulvar contact dermatitis. Honestly, even your own urine can do these things, which is why it’s so important to wipe thoroughly and to clean your vaginal region consistently.
11. An Alcohol-Filled Mouth
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Aside from the fact that consuming alcohol increases your chances of having bacterial vaginosis (who knew?!) and can also make it harder to naturally lubricate and/or climax, you might want to pay attention to how much liquor is in your partner’s mouth before he attempts to go down on you.
Back when vodka tampons were all the rage (chile), some warnings were sent out about them due to the fact that alcohol is highly acidic and can actually damage the mucous membranes of your vagina if you’re not careful. So, if you’ve ever had a super drunken night, some pretty good sex (which included oral sex), and then ended up with a case of vaginitis or yeast infection — the dranks could very well be why.
12. Synthetic Fibers
Like every other part of your body, your vagina needs to breathe — and that’s hard to do when you’re wearing synthetic fibers like polyester, nylon, and spandex. That’s why you should immediately remove these types of fabrics after working out; otherwise, all of the sweat could cause bacteria to take over. By the way, if you’re wondering what some workout material alternatives are, moisture-wicking cotton, bamboo fiber, and poly-dri are far better options.
13. Thongs. Sometimes.
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Thongs are something that I’m gonna let y’all have. Although I get the sexiness factor that they bring, I’ve personally never found them to be comfortable (at all). Plus, my vagina doesn’t seem to enjoy them very much either. That makes sense when you factor in that they can cause a lot of friction, make it hard for your va-jay-jay to breathe, and they can also make it easier for infections to spread up into your vaginal area. Listen, thongs aren’t the devil. All I’m saying is, in the pursuit of not pissing your vagina off, when it comes to using them, specifically, it’s probably best to take a “less is more” approach.
14. Polyester or Rayon Sheets
Some of the cheapest — meaning most economical — bedsheets around are ones that are made out of polyester and/or rayon. Come to think of it (because I’ve owned a few sets of them in my lifetime), they are actually pretty comfortable, too. Problem is, both fabrics can trap moisture, and since our bodies tend to change temperatures throughout the night, you don’t want to get all sweaty and create a super moisture-filled environment for the not-so-good bacteria to thrive. Yeah, organic cotton sheets (or even bamboo ones) are always gonna be your better bet.
15. An Unsterilized Menstrual Cup
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One of the best things to ever happen to my life (at least as far as my period is concerned) is a menstrual cup. It’s comfortable. If you’re not a heavy bleeder, you can put it in for the day and almost forget that you’re even on your cycle. And, because you can use it over and over again, it’s good for the environment too. Just make sure that you sterilize it by boiling it after each and every cycle ends. Simply running it under some hot water is not good enough if you want to remove all of what remained from your period before — germs that could definitely piss your vagina off.
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There you have it, y’all: 15 things that our vaginas would prefer us not to do (or do often). So, if you want you and your vagina to get along, please take heed to each and every one because, when you take good care of her, she definitely strives to take stellar care of you. Amen? Amen.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Black Girls Tennis Club Is Empowering Black Women and Girls To Reclaim Their Space On The Court
The face of tennis is changing, and it’s about time. Over the years, if you were asked to name any Black tennis player, two would come to mind: Serena and Venus Williams — and rightfully so. But as new tennis sensations like Coco Gauff and Naomi Osaka rise to fame for their athleticism and tenacity, it’s clear that there’s a new era of tennis taking shape to bring forth a fresh take on representation and reclamation on the courts.
For that reason alone, there’s no better time than now for Black Girl Tennis Club co-founders Virginia Thornton and Kimberly Selden to lead the charge of making tennis more accessible to Black women and girls so the next Serena and Coco can emerge.
What began as your everyday lunch chat between friends to discuss their mutual dream of owning a boutique hotel turned into a proposition to start a tennis club together. With Virginia being a tennis player since adolescence and Kimberly entering the sport as a hobby in her adult life, the two jumped at the idea of making a space where Black women could discover a new hobby and not feel like the “only one” on the tennis court.
“The club kind of started for selfish reasons, but not in a bad way,” Virginia tells xoNecole. “We realized that there was actually a need for this.”
Kimberly adds, “Now we're literally disrupting a whole industry. We didn't plan it, but it felt divine; like we were called to do this. Black Girls Tennis Club has been a catalyst for personal growth in all areas of life, and we would have never anticipated that.”
Since establishing the Black Girl Tennis Club in 2022, the two have made it their mission to cultivate a space for “Joy Equity and Radical Wellness.” Their platform serves as a means to inform, inspire, motivate, and reshape the narrative around Black women and girls in the tennis world while highlighting the transformative power of sports and play for liberation.
With approximately 78% of tennis players being white and only 6.8% being Black, and the average cost of a private tennis lesson being $60 per hour, racial and economic disparities within the sport are vast. To help close this gap, the two founders have banded together to develop free tennis instruction clinics for girls aged 8-18 and local tennis events that bring adult offerings through programs like the Self Love Tennis Club and Cardio Tennis Classes to HBCU campuses in Virginia.
Both Virginia and Kimberly understand the power of their mission and believe that they were brought on each other’s path to execute it together. “It’s the power of alignment,” Kimberly says. “I think when you're doing the right thing and you're obedient, and answer the call, that’s when things start to happen, and the universe conspires to make them happen.”
We caught up with the founders to discuss their mission, the importance of representation, and how they plan to disrupt the tennis industry one court at a time.
xoNecole: Could you talk a little more about your CARE pillars with change, access, representation and exposure?
Kimberly Selden: As we started to do the work, we saw that there were so many equity issues. Although we knew from our own personal experiences that there are barriers to tennis being an expensive sport, we just acknowledged it as the culture of tennis. Because it's predominantly white, that transfers over to the fashion, the dynamics on the court, the attitudes, and the mindset. And so we knew this required a culture shift for us to ever really feel comfortable.
We were exposing kids to tennis, and then after the clinics, they're like, "Okay, now what?" It's still expensive, and they still may or may not have had access to it if they're not with us. We don't want to just pop in like, "Hey, here's a clinic, bye!" So, the culture change is just a reflection of what our existence looks like. Access is about being able to access the sport through courts, programs, or a coach. Representation is that we can't believe it until we see it.
Granted, there are a lot of pro Black women tennis players taking off, and we love that. But we think about media representation as well [as] representation within the USCA, in the boardrooms, and the people that are making the rules around the game.
xoN: Why do you all think it’s important for Black women and girls to reclaim their space on the tennis court?
Virginia Thornton: It's rare, at least in my world, where you're in a space and see nothing but women who look like you. But it makes me feel great when I can be my authentic self, especially on a tennis court. Just shedding all the weight of pretending to be anything else. You feel at home when you're around nothing but Black women. Even small things like seeing a young Black girl being okay with how God made them is amazing.
KS: [In] the Atlanta clinics we did, everyone was crying. It's just clear how desperately we need it. Connection is the key to a long life. So many of us — especially from the pandemic and working from home — are isolated. With every clinic, it's just fun to be there, and it just fills you up. I think people need hobbies. I think a lot of people, especially people in big cities, feel that way and were confronted with that during the pandemic.
xoN: How did sports play a role in helping you two find your voice and confidence both on and off the court?
VT: I think what people don't realize is that tennis is such a mental sport. You could be a 4.0 player and have a bad mental day, and you will play like you've never picked up a racquet before. So, the mental piece is super important. For me, it's like ‘you against you,’ even though you are playing somebody.
If you're able to work through those mental pieces with yourself on the court, that will translate off the court. I had an issue on the court where I have a habit of saying, "Sorry," — I think a lot of Black women do, honestly. Then I realized that they wouldn't say sorry or they’d use my kindness as weakness. I've learned a lesson in that because everything translates on and off the court.
"If you're able to work through those mental pieces with yourself on the court, that will translate off the court."
KS: It's easy for me to do things that I'm good at, but it's not easy for me to do things that I'm not good at. Tennis is still challenging for me, but it pushes me. It’s a reality check for me; I know when things are aligned, and when they're not. It feels like a big metaphor for me because it's pushing me to do something that's uncomfortable and makes me work for myself more.
xoN: What do you hope the long-term impact of Black Girl Tennis Club will be?
VS: We want to have a space for people who might be workaholics or might be going through depression. It's always great to have a hobby, whether that's knitting, sewing, or what have you. For me and Kimberly, it’s about creating hobbies for Black women and girls but also knowing that it’s okay to not be amazing at it. You don't have to be amazing at tennis; you could hit around the court, and that's okay.
The next Serena or Venus might come from Black Girls Tennis Club.
To support Black Girl Tennis Club’s mission, donate to their cause here and follow their Instagram page to stay up to date with new clinics and events.
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