Are You Washing Your Vagina Correctly? You Sure?
Last fall, I wrote an article entitled, "Did You Know There's A Right & A Wrong Way To Take A Bath?" The objective was not to be out here assuming that grown ass women don't know how to clean themselves. It's just that, sometimes it's the little things that we do—or don't do—that can actually cause bigger problems along the way when it comes to cleanliness and overall hygiene.
That's why I thought it would also be a good idea to touch on how important it is to make sure that we're all taking care of, what I oftentimes encourage my love nieces to call, their "treasure box". Because, the reality is, while a lot of us find ourselves having a super sensitive vagina or even an infection that we can't get to the root cause of, many times it was triggered by the fact that, while we meant well, we simply weren't cleaning our va-jay-jay as properly as we should have. So, in the effort to keep you and "yours" clean and comfortable, here are some washing tips to always keep in mind.
Remember: Your Vagina and Vulva Are Two Different Things
Yeeeeeah. I have no idea who started the whole notion that the word "vagina" speaks for everything that is going on when it comes to our genitalia area because, technically, that isn't right. Our vagina is actually the muscular inner tube that starts at the end of our vulva and extends all the way up to our cervix (which is right in front of our uterus). Meanwhile, our vulva is the external part of our genitalia. It consists of our clitoris, our labia majora (the outside of our lips) and labia minora (the inside of our lips), along with our vestibule (the opening of our vagina) and our urethral meatus (which is the opening of our urethra, because you know that we pee out of a different hole…right?). And, when it comes to washing our lower region, it's not the vagina that needs to be cleaned; it's our vulva (and only parts of it). This brings me to my next point.
Your Vagina Is Totally Self-Cleaning
You might've heard that your vagina is self-cleaning and that is absolutely true. The reason why I'm being intentional about reiterating this point is because there still seem to be way too many people who are consumed with douching and steaming their va-jay-jay when their vagina doesn't need any of that.
When discharge is healthy, it's designed to carry out the dead cells and bacteria that may be inside of your vagina. So, when you do things like douche or steam, not only can that throw the pH balance of your vagina off (which can lead to a killer yeast infection), but steaming could result in literally burning your vagina (one woman actually got second-degree burns from vaginal steaming) too.
And how do you know if your discharge is leaning towards the unhealthy side? For starters, if it's clear, white or off-white and you're noticing about 1-2 teaspoons of it coming out a day, you should be all set. Another sign is if your discharge isn't clumpy, itching and/or irritating. If anything is contrary to what I just said, don't assume that some Summer's Eve or a vaginal steam session is gonna clear things up. It's much smarter to make an appointment with your physician, so that they can diagnose what is really going on with you. It could be a yeast infection. It could be a bout of bacterial vaginosis. It could be that a new sex partner has altered your pH balance. It could be an STD. The only way you're gonna know for sure is if a professional tells you what's up. Let them.
How Do You Wash Your Vulva, Anyway?
Now when it comes to actually cleaning your vulva, since it isn't self-cleaning like your vagina is yes, you should wash it. But here's the thing—you still don't actually have to use soap. Our vulva area is pretty sensitive, so soaking in the tub or washing with a clean washcloth with warm water can do your vulva good more than you would probably think. But if you absolutely cannot imagine keeping soap away from your outer and inner lips, make sure that you go with the kind of soap that is mild and unscented. It's also important that you swap out your washcloth, every 3-4th wash and that you gently open up the folds of your vulva so that you can get into the crevices of the outer part of that part of your genitalia. Also, just like when you wipe after using the bathroom, make sure that you go from front to back while cleansing your vulva. Just like going the opposite direction can lead to irritation or a mild infection when you wipe, the same thing can happen when you wash.
As far as your anus goes, believe it or not, there are soaps out in the universe that are specifically for it; the kind that will clean your anal area without drying it out. One is Honest's Soothing Bottom Wash. Another comes in a spray form; it's by Indigo Wild and it's called Zum Bum.
Leave Feminine Sprays and Washes Alone
Whatever you do—and this really can't be stated enough—please leave all of the feminine sprays and washes completely alone.
First of all, your vagina wasn't created to smell like a rose garden or a candy store. In fact, men are naturally drawn to the scent that your va-jay-jay naturally creates. Secondly, just like scented soaps can piss your vulva off, so can all of those vaginal products that promise to make you feel "fresher". And third, there are certain chemicals that are in a lot of commercial products that could prove to be harmful to your vulva and/or vagina if you consistently use them over time.
So, what if you want to add a little "extra" to your vulva area? I actually wrote an article a while back that features some DIY vaginal wash recipes (you can check it out here). Beyond that, adding 1-2 drops of lavender oil per every ¾ cup of coconut oil can be a nice moisturizer for the mound of your vulva (the top part where most of your pubic hair is…or would be) and inner thighs. Not only does it smell amazing, but both lavender and coconut oil contain antifungal properties too. Avoid putting the oil near your vaginal opening, though. Lavender oil is pretty potent; it is prone to cause a significant amount of stinging if applied internally.
If There’s a (Strange) Odor, Again, See Your Doctor
Depending on your diet, the time of month that it is for your cycle, when you last had sex and the way that you're made up, your vagina (I'm saying that because it's mostly the discharge that creates whatever scent your genitalia's got) is going to range in smell from lightly sweet to slightly sour to maybe even a little coppery (some guys even describe the taste of vaginas as being the hint of a penny). All of this is fine and perfectly normal. When you should be concerned is if your vagina has a strong fishy, ammonia or rotten (unless you're on your cycle and it's been a minute since you've changed your pad or tampon) scent and/or it's so pungent that people around you can smell you. If that is the case, nothing in this article is going to keep the power of that type of odor away. Something is "off". You need to see your doctor.
Welp. That's what I've got for y'all on this topic. Nothing earth-shattering but hopefully relevant enough to keep your vagina's pH right, your vulva fresh and you feeling confident about them both. Amen? Amen, chile.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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This Content Creator’s Journey To Clear Skin Began With Trusting With The Process
In About Face, xoNecole gets the 411 on IGers who give us #skincaregoals on a daily. Here they break down their beauty routines on the inside and out, as well as the highly coveted products that grace their shelves and their skin.
Kyra Joe is the Queen of all things beauty. She regularly lets us in on her beauty routine while sharing updates on her dating life. The content creator debuts flawless skin and aspirational makeup routines in each video. As a consumer, it's easy to assume that Joe has always had the perfect canvas for the beauty world. However, that is not the case.
Like most of us, she's experienced her share of struggles with acne and hyperpigmentation. “I saw a dermatologist when I was 14, and the products he recommended didn’t work because I wasn’t consistent,” Joe said. The responsibility and consistency required of Joe in her adolescence made skincare feel like a job rather than a self-care act.
In 2020, things began to take a pivotal turn for Joe when she found herself regularly consuming skincare TikToks during the pandemic. “I saw people showing me how to use skincare products to get rid of hormonal acne and hyperpigmentation. That made a huge difference for me.” Her enjoyment began to arise as she tried recommended products from her favorite skincare content creators.
Joe added, “I was finally starting to enjoy skincare because I was finding products that worked for me through TikTok. I had undereye patches and creams and began building a routine.” What was once a chore has now become a passion. Joe has since grown an online community of more than 200,000 across TikTok and Instagram, sharing her beauty secrets underneath the moniker Kyra Nikole.
Courtesy
“I learned early on in my journey to keep things simple. I also try to encourage this in my content,” said Joe. Being able to get to the root when a breakout occurs is why Joe chooses and encourages skincare routines to be simple. “If I have a breakout, it’s easier for me to figure out what product causes it if I don’t have an extensive routine.”
Keeping things simple has allowed Joe to clear up her hormonal acne and manage her hyperpigmentation, and keeping things minimal has given Joe a clear canvas for her makeup.
She gave us an inside look into the skincare routine that’s changed her views on self-care:
Kyra Nikole's Daytime Skincare Routine
Step One: Hyper Skin Hyper Even Facewash
Hyper Skin
“I love this because it’s specifically made for hyperpigmentation, and it’s a gentle cleanser.”
Step Two: Pixi Glow Tonic
Pixi
“It’s an exfoliating toner, but it’s light enough to use daily. I use this for both day and night.”
Step Three: Glazing Milk Essence By Rhode Skin
Rhode Skin
“I have eczema and dry skin, so this helps give me the moisture that I need.”
Step Four: La Roche-Posay Moisturizer
La Roche-Posay
“This is just a regular moisturizer that I love because it sits well under my makeup.”
Step Five: Kiehl's Better Screen UV Sunscreen
Kiehl's
"There is no white cast, no peeling, it works under makeup, and it’s SPF 50; there’s nothing better than that!”
Kyra Nikole's Nighttime Skincare Routine:
Joe uses the same products for her nighttime skincare routine, except for sunscreen. Her main goal is to lock in hydration to last the entire evening. Aquaphor is her ointment of choice to ensure her skin gets the moisture it deserves.
Final Step: Aquaphor Healing Ointment
Aquaphor
"Aquaphor does a great job of holding in the moisture.”
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