
Let's all pretend for a sec that we're in anatomy class again. Remember when you first learned what your vagina actually is? It wasn't your lips (those are your labia majora and labia minora). It wasn't your clitoris (did you know that the only known purpose of a clit is so you can climax easier?). It wasn't your vulva—the external part of your genitalia. No, your vagina is the internal tube that connects your vulva to your cervix (the lower part of your uterus). Babies come out of it and things like penises, vibrators, tampons and menstrual cups go into it.
Why is all of this relevant? Because, in preparation for sharing some things with you that you may or may not know about what's going on down below, technically, I'll be covering your vulva (the part of your genitalia that you do see) and your vagina (the part of your genitalia that you don't). I'm hoping that, with these 15 following facts in tow, you'll love your vagina more than you already do.
Because you already show your vagina (and your vulva) lots and lots of love…right?
Your Vagina Smells Differently Throughout the Day
If it seems like, scent-wise, your vagina keeps switching up on you throughout the day, don't stress it; that's totally normal. When you get out of the shower, you may smell nothing but once you exercise, your sweat glands may cause you to smell a little musty down there. If you're on your period, it might smell like iron, after sex it might smell a little like bleach (due to how your fluids interact with the smell of semen) and, if you have an infection of some sort, it might smell like yeast or fish.
While we're parked on this particular point, something else that can alter the smell of your va-jay-jay is your diet. The foods that can make it smell less than pleasant are onions, garlic, curry, alcohol and coffee. Oh, and due to a new partner's distinctive semen, switching up partners can change how "she" smells too.
The Shape of Your Lips Have a Lot to Do with Your Orgasms
In the article "10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm", I shared that when a woman's clitoris is about an inch apart from her vaginal opening, it's much easier for her to have a vaginal orgasm. You know what else helps? The way her lips are made. I'm dead serious.
One study revealed that women who have prominent tubercles (which is basically an elevation of extra skin on the upper part of the lips) of her vagina also gave her a far greater chance of experiencing vaginal orgasms. So, if you're one of those women who feels insecure in a bathing suit because you've got what some folks call a "fatty", don't be. You are that much closer to having what reportedly over 70 percent of women don't—a vaginal orgasm!
You’d Be Amazed How “Big” Your Vagina Can Get
Although your vagina is only 3-4 inches long, its stretching capacity is absolutely amazing! So much, in fact, that it can stretch up to 200 percent (which is how babies can come through it). It's able to do this because your vagina is lined with muscular ridges all throughout it.
What this boils down to is you can handle the size of just about any man; at the same time, in order to initially get into the swing of things, you may need to use a vaginal dilator in order to gradually and comfortably stretch the walls of your vagina in order to, umm, accommodate him.
Discharge and Lubricant Aren’t Exactly the Same Things
This point is pretty fascinating. Did you know that there's a difference between discharge and lubricant? Discharge (which is made up of saltwater, mucus and cells) is what helps to rid your body of bacteria. If your vagina is healthy, the discharge should be a clear, white or off-white color, non-clumpy or irritating and you should only produce around 1-2 teaspoons per day. Lubricant is what comes out, only when you are sexually stimulated.
While discharge comes directly out of your actual vagina, lubrication comes out of two pea-sized glands (called Bartholin's Glands) that are located on the outer sides of your vaginal opening.
There’s More to Your Clitoris than Meets the Eye
When babies are first conceived, they all have the same genetic material. Once they are around 12 weeks, that's when either a penis or a labia begins to form. The reason why you might have heard that clitorises are "little penises" is because, like a penises, they have glans, erectile tissue, a tiny shaft and even foreskin (hence, your clitoral hood). They also get erect and expand whenever you're sexually aroused.
Some other fun facts about your clitoris is it contains 8,000 nerve endings (approximately double what a man has in his penis); it's able to create between 3-16 contractions that are able to last 10-30 seconds long; it grows over the course of your lifetime (it's 2.5 times bigger when you're going through menopause vs. when you were an adolescent) and, it's bigger than you probably think that it is (four inches). It's just that three-fourths of your clitoris is located on the inside of your body.
A Healthy Vagina Is Literally Like Fine Wine
One way to know whether or not your vagina is healthy is to check its pH balance (click here if you want a kit that will let you test it from home). If it's in good shape, your pH will be between 3.8-4.5. If it's higher than that, bacterial vaginosis may be the culprit. If it's lower, it could be indicative of a yeast infection (check with your doctor, just to be sure).
Anyway, since a healthy vagina's pH is around a 4 (which means that it's slightly acidic), I thought you might be curious about what else is—tomatoes, beer and yes, wine. This means that if you wanted to compare your vagina to the best of wines, you wouldn't be lying. That is literally the complete and total truth.
A Vaginal Fart Isn’t a Fart at All
TMI? Maybe. I remember the first time I "queefed" with a partner. I was so embarrassed that I picked a fight and we didn't speak for two days. When we finally did discuss how ridiculous I was being, he said, "It just caught me off guard but it's no big deal."
It really isn't. For one thing, queefing is completely normal. Secondly, all that's coming out when your vagina makes a "fart sound" is air; not waste or gas like real fart has in it. It doesn't smell either, so the next time it happens to you, laugh don't freak out. It's all good.
Nothing Can Get “Lost” in There
Your vagina is not a black hole; it does have an end to it (for the most part, your cervix). The reason why it can sometimes be hard to retrieve a broken condom or a tampon that lost its string is because the item is lodged towards the backside of your vagina. Don't worry, though. If you can't get what's stuck out, your physician most certainly can.
While we're on this topic, my great-grandfather used to say (and I quote), "If you wear short skirts in the wintertime, you're gonna catch a cold in your p—sy." Yeah, that's not exactly true. Your vagina is not a gaping hole that's constantly open. In fact, its walls are actually collapsed on top of each other. They expand when they need to and remain closed when they don't. So, please ignore my grandpa's pearls of wisdom. If they were on Snopes, they would be marked as being "false".
Your Pubic Hair Serves Three (Main) Purposes
Something that I personally found to be a plum trip is the fact that pubic hair has a pretty short shelf life. While the hair on our head can last for up to seven years, the hair on our vagina only lasts for three weeks or so. This is why it can only get but so long or bushy.
As far as the purpose that pubic hair serves, for the most part, it's a three-way combo. First, it protects your vagina from debris. Second, it helps to prevent small abrasions from arising on your vulva due to sexual friction (the less small cuts, the less STD risks you have to worry about). Third, so long as you keep your vagina clean, its natural scent gets trapped into your pubic hair, creating pheromones that turns your partner all the way on. Bonus—a lot of my male friends are huge fans of (well-manicured) pubic hair. They say it's because it makes them feel like they are having sex with a grown woman (which co-signs on a study that says the older we get, the less interested we are in removing our pubic hair anyway). Just something to think about.
Your Vagina Doesn’t Need Douching or Steaming
You've probably known for a while now that, because your vagina is self-cleaning, you absolutely do not need to douche it for any reason. Ultimately, all that does is upset the pH balance in your vagina which can cause all sorts of infections up the road. But what you might not know is you shouldn't steam (translation—go somewhere and sit over a hot pot of herbs in hopes to cleanse and tighten your vagina) either. Aside from the fact that you run the risk of burning your vagina (ouch), there isn't really a lot of evidence to support that it does any real cleansing or tightening. You'd be better off using a DIY cleanse and applying it to your vulva (only) instead.
Vulvas Sag over Time
Something that our body produces less of over time is collagen. When this happens, our skin begins to sag, including when it comes to our vulva. It's nothing to feel bad or embarrassed about (men love vulvas and vaginas regardless), but if you do want to give your vulva a bit of a facelift (so to speak), take a collagen supplement and do some kegels regularly. That should do the trick.
Food in Your Vagina IS NOT a Good Idea
Years back, I told a few of my girlfriends a story I heard about a woman who got maggots in her vagina. No one believed me. I can't wait to forward this to them because there is a documented case of a 79-year-old woman who experienced just that (the technical term for it is vaginal myiasis). Although it is rare, I did look for some medical insight on how to insure that it never happens to you. The best way to avoid vaginal maggots (eww…just eww) is to keep food (dark chocolate, frozen bananas and whatever else your creative mind comes up with) OUT of your actual vagina. Vulva (outside) is fine. Vagina (inside) is not.
Multiple Partners Doesn’t Make It Looser. Abstinence Doesn’t Make It Tighter.
Chile, I ain't had sex in so long that I can only hope this point is true! If you are sexually active and you worry that it's "stretching you out", remember, we are able to birth babies through our vagina and still master the vaginal snapback. Ain't no penis able to match a baby's head. You're good. On the flip side, being abstinent for a long period of time is not gonna make your vagina any tighter either (are you surprised?)
According to many medical professionals, the initial discomfort after a dry spell is probably due to not being aroused enough, needing more lubrication upon entry or your partner not knowing what the heck he's doing; not because going months (or even years) without got you "tight and right".
There goes granny's theory about what makes a va-jay-jay looser or tighter. I can't wait to hear what she says when you tell her.
You Can Get an STD. Even with a Condom.
Finally, if you want or need another reason to make sure that you get tested on a regular basis and that you should require to see a new partner's bill of health before doing the do, I've got one. Even if "he" wears a condom, you can still get an STD.
How is that? It's because if he happens to have warts, a herpes flare-up, or pubic lice, your vulva has the ability to come into contact with his scrotum, and—BAM! You could end up sharing more than a good time. Just one more reminder that a condom is not Teflon, so make sure to choose your partners wisely. For you and your vagina's (and vulva's) sake.
There Is No Such Thing as a “Normal Vulva”
Finally, your vulva is a lot like your fingerprint in the sense that no two are exactly alike. The reason why I said "vulva" and not "vagina" is because most of our vaginas are basically the same. But, as far as the genitalia that we can see, there are different colors, shapes and sizes and they're all beautiful.
So, don't spend a lot of time worrying if some extra skin is hanging or your clitoris is on the larger size. God made it that way by design. The right partner will agree—and then some.
Featured image by Getty Images
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
"What's In There?" An Owner's Manual For Your Vagina
Take Better Care Of Your Vagina With These Tips
10 Things Your Vagina Wishes You Would Do More Often
What I've Learned About My Vagina Since Getting Married
Originally published on June 19, 2019
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Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
How Les Alfred & Kayla Greaves Built Their "It Girl" Brands With Intention
It’s not always easy being an “It Girl,” but Les Alfred, host of She’s So Lucky podcast, and Kayla Greaves, beauty expert, reporter and consultant, never promised it would be. Instead, the two creators are forging their own paths based on resilience. Les originally launched her podcast, formerly Balanced Black Girl, from her bedroom in Seattle after creating fitness content elsewhere online.
Last year, she left her corporate job to scale the Dear Media-hosted series, which she rebranded earlier this year. Meanwhile, Kayla has worked as a journalist and editor, including for InStyle as Executive Beauty Editor. In 2023, she left the company to focus on consulting, hosting and speaking engagements.
Despite launching media careers from different pathways, the two New York-based women have forged a friendship where they can discuss their ambitions and challenges.
Both women are part of xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, recognized in the Viral Voices category for the impact they’ve made through storytelling, creativity, and authenticity. Together, they represent what it means to build an "It Girl" brand with integrity and depth. In the spirit of SheaMoisture’s "Yes, And" ethos, Les and Kayla embody the freedom to be multi-layered as women evolving boldly into every version of themselves.
This conversation has been condensed and lightly edited for clarity
On Forging Their Own Paths
Les Alfred: Being a Jane of all trades is incredibly challenging. And one of the challenges I've faced is that the scope of what podcasters now need to do has increased so much. When I first interviewed you in 2019, I was still very new at it, but I remember being on a Skype call with you from my bedroom in Seattle. That was how I ran the show. And that was good enough. That is absolutely not good enough these days. The scope and the quality keeps increasing, but the resources that you have don't necessarily increase in order to remain competitive.
I get asked so many questions from people who want to get into podcasts and they want to get started. Most of the time, I'm just like, 'I don't have tips for you.' Because, one, I don't know what it's like to start in this current environment. Two, I know what it takes to contend and be consistent in this environment. The barrier of entry is a lot higher in terms of having something of quality than it was before.
On Balancing Ambition and Rest
Kayla Greaves: I've had to make a very clear effort to slow down and just not take on as much. Yes, you're running a business, but you're also living your life. I had one of those days yesterday. I just laid down and listened to white noise for hours because I just needed my brain to just be clear. I called a friend. I cried.
I'm starting over again today. The sun is out. It's a new day. And that's just sometimes what you have to do. You can't show up for your audience or for other people, if you can't show for yourself. I think that creativity comes from a place of living your life and having genuine experiences, and then sharing those experiences through your art.
"I had to give myself permission to let myself grow publicly in ways that I'd already done personally."

Courtesy
On Evolving Through Growth and Rebranding
Les: I didn't create Balanced Black Girl until 2018, but I started blogging and creating content and doing things under the Balanced brand in 2014. I was 24 years old at the time. Now, I'm 36. The things that were important to me, the perspective that I had and the stories I wanted to tell were entirely different. I think I had to give myself permission to let myself grow publicly in ways that I'd already done personally. The show isn't really about wellness anymore. And that shift started happening a couple of years ago.
When we started expanding into more lifestyle topics, more self-help topics [and] talking about entrepreneurship, the audience responded really well. That was when the show really started to grow and take off. And that was what got so much more engagement than the episodes back in 2020 when I was doing hour-long deep dives on gut health.
Rebranding the show was something I've been thinking about for a long time. When I was finally like, 'Oh, I need to do this,' honestly, was the 2024 presidential election. I was like, these people are about to be in here acting crazy. I do not feel safe with my business name being what it is. I don't want to be targeted for any BS. We saw what they did to the Fearless Fund.
"You have to balance your integrity with your income."

Courtesy
On Integrity Over Income
Kayla: I have many other interests aside from beauty. I'm growing and I'm changing as a person. I'm not the same person I was when I started at InStyle in 2019 before the pandemic rocked everybody's world. I don't think reviewing every single lipstick that comes out is exciting or interesting, because everybody does it now, and everybody feels like they're qualified to speak on things that they're not qualified to speak on. I'm currently in that pain point of growth.
I don't think I have always been in environments where I've been encouraged to branch out on my own ideas. I finished Ina Garten’s memoir maybe a month ago. She kept repeating this quote in her book. She said, ‘What goes in early, goes in deep.’ Now that I'm on my own and I don't have the resources of a traditional media company, which is what I have become accustomed to, sometimes it's difficult for me to be like, 'Okay, just go ahead with the thing.'
I think, Les, just the other day, you reposted somebody saying that they let go of a five-figure deal and then got double the next day because it just didn't feel aligned for them. Those are the things that happen. I have to find a balance of, 'Okay, how do I keep myself afloat?' And that may mean I may not be balling out of control just yet, but I'm okay for now. I can buy myself nice things every once in a while, but you have to balance your integrity with your income.
Les: There are just certain lines that I'm not willing to cross. Especially when I created more wellness content, one of those lines was I will not promote any sort of weight loss product. All of these GLP-1s all want to advertise on my podcast. I actually have nothing against those types of products, but I don't ever want someone to look at what I'm putting into the world and think that I'm saying that they need to feel a certain way about their bodies.
Even if the money is great, that's not for me to say, and that's not the type of message that I want to put out here. Or, I had another kind of brand deal come through that would have required me to divulge things about my personal life that I just don't really want my audience knowing about me, and bringing them along on journeys that I just find personal and I want to keep offline. I don’t want to be known for dragging my mess all over the internet for a buck.
I don't want to be known for being an influencer. I would love to be 1,000% in on my podcast, scale it, have it grow to be a media empire where I'm producing and putting out other bodies of work. For now, until that other side of the business really picks up and gets to the point where I want it to be, I kind of need to play the influencer game a little bit to live in this expensive city. But I'm gonna do it on my terms. It's a constant compromise that I'm coming to with myself.
"You can never make a big vision come to fruition if you're sitting and you're waiting for somebody else to tell you exactly what to do."

Courtesy
On Mutual Admiration and Friendship
Les: Something that I really admire about you in having known you for the past couple of years is you don't wait for a roadmap. You jump in, you roll up your sleeves, and you do it. You can never make a big vision come to fruition if you're sitting and you're waiting for somebody else to tell you exactly what to do.
Kayla: Well, first of all, I want to say thank you for saying that, because that means so much to me, and it's very affirming. That's exactly how I feel about you. I remember, even at your first live show, you're like, ‘Oh my god, I'm so stressed. I don't know what I'm doing.’ And, the shit sold out. And, you know, and now, like, you see the growth of the podcast. And you have nearly 61,000 subscribers on YouTube. I just checked recently.
I talk a lot about people that really just need to not say anything on the internet, because it's so frustrating as somebody who grew up as a traditional journalist. You want people to fact check and ask thoughtful questions and have good conversations. I've never said that about you. I've always loved your podcast. And I've sent a lot of your episodes to friends when they're going through specific things that you're talking about.
This season has been a little bit slower to me, so you've been a constant source of inspiration, and it's just been such a pleasure to see your podcast grow despite the challenges you've had. I know it's not easy, but you continue to grow and continue to push through, and I really admire that as somebody who sat and cried yesterday and listened to white noise.
And this is why I tell you all the time, you really do inspire me. I love you a lot.
Les: Oh my gosh, I love you a lot. I'm so glad that the podcast brought us together.
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
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