

In 1999 when Sisqó dropped his hit single "Thong Song" just a day shy of the new millenium, it had people giving the platinum-haired R&B crooner the side eye. The video featured bikini models dancing in colorful swimsuits of various bottom styles, while the former Dru Hill group member belted out his appreciation for women's bodies, particularly when wearing a thong. During a time when full-bottomed undies were all the rage, this opened up a discussion as to whether it was socially acceptable to rock a barely there panty in public.
Fast forward a decade and a half later, and the thin fabric better known as "butt floss" has become a staple part of a woman's wardrobe. Walk into your nearest Victoria's Secret and you'll find over-sized photos of models in their barely there lacy underwear. It certainly gives off a certain sex appeal, but the question often arises as to whether the often over-priced pieces of fabric are used more for pleasure or if they actually have a greater purpose. During casual conversations with friends, I was surprised to find out that a lot of us could do without ever wearing a thong again!
Do women really love thongs?
From woman to woman, the feelings about the sexy undies are split right down the middle, no pun intended. But what about this choice of underwear makes a woman feel sexy and wanted? What is it about these unmentionables that make us stare in our mirrors and say, “hot dayum!" no matter what side of comfort we stand on?
We spoke to a few women about their experience with the magical panties and they dished on why they choose to either wear thongs or why they vowed to never wear them again, as well as a comfortable alternative to wearing the intimate string.
Thong Love:
“I started wearing [thongs] to make my husband happy. I thought they were terribly uncomfortable, initially. Shortly thereafter, I realized that I was never picking at my underwear. I never had underwear lines and my butt just generally looked better. And even through pregnancy, I never went back to regular panties!" ~ MammaBear Brown
“Love them [thongs]! They are basically all I wear. I hate panty lines and thongs just make my butt look a lot better!" ~ Sharontina Brightman
“I love them because I hate seeing my underwear outline underneath my skirts or dresses. They are comfortable and so sexy for me." ~ Trudean Wright-Haye
“Wearing a thong to me is comfortable when wearing the right size. I like the fact that you can wear clothes and not see a panty line; I like not having to worry about regular underwear riding my butt." ~Amber Lanaee
Stuck in the Middle:
“A thong is a fashion thing, not a sexy thing. Sexy is a way of being. Sexy is how you wear it not what your wearing. A woman can be sexy if she wears boxers, boy shorts, briefs, or nothing at all. But fashion is how you put it on. At times they may be uncomfortable, but thongs give you an invisible look under clingy garments making your fashion statement more flawless." ~ Shay Monroe
I just know I was terrified when I first had to wear one back in high school as part of the band dance team. I remember being like what is this and why is it going in my private area? But now its not that big of a deal. I don't wear em on a regular basis but when I do wear them I can't tell too much of a difference. -Ashleigh Hardin-Jones
You need a thong for your drawer, because you're going to have that one dress that is so sexy, and you can't wear boyshorts or granny panties with it, but it's not my every day preference to wear a thong, or shop for one. For the record (I am going to put it out there, I am 180 lbs with a size 40 hip), so skinny spaghetti panties, won't work for me. The cheeks can hang out, but nothing else can lol! - Nadine Jerome
I think wearing thongs on a regular basis is a feisty thing. Also a woman's best underwear option when it comes to provocative attire (tight pants, see-through clothing). The only way the thong makes me feel sexy, is if I'm showing it off to my significant other to spice things up.. Lol. I personally do not wear thongs regularly, they're a little uncomfortable for my behind. PINK booty shorts are my go to panties. ~ Sasha Marina
Thong Be Gone:
“I hate them! They are uncomfortable to me. It feels like I have a permanent wedgie." ~ Cece Janell
“I despise thongs. I have sensitive skin and thongs do not help at all. Although I do love the invisible lines when wearing anything form-fitting, I can do the same with boy-shorts." ~ Ciarra Lambert
“When I was younger, I loved them! [Now] my backside is too big for them, they get lost. Due to my lack of exercise, I wear a skin smoothing boy short to conceal panty lines and butt dimples lol." ~Rose Velez-Miggins
“I hate all underwear actually, but the thong, for me, really has no purpose. I actually go commando. I think they are very pretty, but if you wear them for no panty lines then why not go without them period. It's like walking around with a permanent wedgie all day." ~ Devon Brown
"I hate thongs! I absolutely hate them. I'm instantly reminded of what a wedgie feels like, that discomfort. I wear thongs for my man. He loves the way my ass cheeks tantalize him while I'm wearing them. If it wasn't for the look on his face or the way he bites his lip, I would never wear them." -Sheriden Garrett
Are you a thong lover or a can you do without them? Let us know below!
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Meet Kiara Walker: The Bold New Voice Giving Men A Safe Space To Be Real On ‘xoMAN’
Kiara Walker was born to entertain. Her childhood experiences helped shape her destiny as a media personality, and now she’s taking her talents to xoNecole.
A Dallas, Texas native and Atlanta transplant, Walker will host the newest Will Packer Media and xoNecole production, xoMAN podcast. This fresh podcast series provides a platform for authentic and transformative conversations that bridge the gap between the introspection men crave and their real-life experiences.
xoMAN started as an Instagram Live series and is now a full-cast production, with Walker as the host. Initially, she was skeptical about joining as the new host of xoMan. Not because she doesn’t have the chops to thrive in the role, but because coming in on something that wasn’t her original idea initially seemed daunting for the media personality.
However, since she loves a challenge, the CockTales: Dirty Discussionspodcast host embraced the task with an open heart and mind.
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“I was like, this is a cool concept, so I’m so glad that they decided to turn it into a podcast,” Walker tells xoNecole. “It’s been interesting to take somebody else’s idea and try to turn it into a thing, put it together, and bring it to fruition. I am anxious, nervous, and all things, but above all, I’m excited.”
When xoNecole's managing editor Sheriden Garrett approached Walker to take on the position, it felt like fate. She had previously attempted to get Garrett on her CockTales platform about six or seven years ago due to her expertise in the love and relationship space.
“I was like, wait, y’all listen to the show? And you want me to host a show where I’m only talking to men? And I’m listening to them and not giving them a hard time? I say that because sometimes I feel like, on my show, I may come off like I don’t even like men," she says.
"I love men, but it can be frustrating sometimes on that platform, social media, and other places when they continue to regurgitate the same rhetoric about what I like to call Twitter topics, like constantly talking about who’s paying as a man, as a woman. You should do this. You should do that…It’s been cool hearing the stories with the men we’ve spoken to so far at xoMAN, hearing these stories, and hearing them let their guards down.”
A Howard graduate, Walker almost didn’t enter the world of media after listening to advice from elders who said she would make a great lawyer because she loves to debate topics and sometimes argue (haha).
"It’s been cool hearing the stories with the men we’ve spoken to so far at xoMAN, hearing these stories, and hearing them let their guards down.”
After traveling to the nation’s capital to study political science, Walker soon discovered that her only motivation for becoming an attorney was the potential income and witnessing how boss women like Erika Alexander’s Maxine Shaw character on Living Single would look in their suits as career women.
“I realized that this was for real,” she says, studying law at Howard. “This is a lot of work, and when you think about what you do, I was like, this is not a performance, and I just wanted to talk. I wasn’t trying to defend anyone.”
A visit to a fair showcasing the different organizations on Howard’s campus, combined with her affinity for celebrity gossip and entertainment news, ultimately led Walker to explore a radio career. Soon, she auditioned for a show and landed the gig. By the spring semester, she was on the radio, ultimately leading her to switch her major to journalism with a concentration in broadcast news.
Soon after earning her degree in the field, Walker decided she didn’t want to do anything related to hard news. Instead, she became involved in lifestyle content. She used her friends' love of hearing her stories to motivate her to get into podcasting.
The rest is, as they say, history.
“Before podcasts became what they are, I was in a living room with a microphone before ultimately moving to a studio and refining the show. I loved it and knew people were listening because I monitored the analytics and everything," she explains.
"When we decided to do a live show, the show sold out in two weeks, and I was so nervous. I was like, 'Are we ready? Are we gonna be able to sell out this venue?' We didn’t have any sponsorship. We were still independent and had to front the money for everything.”
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“When they sold out in two weeks, not only did I price my tickets too low, but I thought, wow, we’ve got something. I was like, people spent money to hear me and my co-host talking about our shitty love lives. This is wild, all from an idea in my head. It made me feel like I was on the right path and encouraged me to stop doubting myself. I have imposter syndrome," she reveals.
"Even to this day, I’m constantly biased. But it’s like, if not me, then who? And, like, why not me? If people can do it with way less and way more. I’ve been trying to encourage myself and other people to eliminate the doubt that we have in ourselves so we can do whatever it is we want to do. I love it. No matter how many sleepless nights I have, I will continue to have bags under my eyes until the end of time because I’m enjoying it.”
"I have imposter syndrome. Even to this day, I’m constantly biased. But it’s like, if not me, then who? And, like, why not me? If people can do it with way less and way more. I’ve been trying to encourage myself and other people to eliminate the doubt that we have in ourselves so we can do whatever it is we want to do."
In between garnering a strong social media presence for her work as a podcast host, lifestyle influencer, and beyond, Walker has managed to use her many gifts and talents, like cooking, and most importantly, giving a strong opinion about the things she does (or doesn’t) believe in to carve out a lane of her own.
As she embarks on this chapter as the host of xoMAN, where she has already spoken with actors Devale Ellis and Skyh Black and Dear Future Wifey podcast host Laterras R. Whitfield, Walker hopes that it encourages people, especially women, to look at their male counterparts from a different perspective.
“I hope that anyone listening can listen to the first few episodes, hear how different each man is, and learn to let down whatever preconceived notions you have about me or a specific man, whoever it is in your life," she says. "Just listen, talk to them, ask them how they feel, and listen with an open mind, without thinking that you already know what the answer is.”
“I just hope that people learn to, again, not put people in boxes and make the other person, whoever it is, men specifically for this show, but sit down and talk with an open mind and listen to understand, not to respond. Help someone feel safe.”
xoMAN officially launches on Tuesday, June. 17.
Feature image courtesy