In 1999 when Sisqó dropped his hit single "Thong Song" just a day shy of the new millenium, it had people giving the platinum-haired R&B crooner the side eye. The video featured bikini models dancing in colorful swimsuits of various bottom styles, while the former Dru Hill group member belted out his appreciation for women's bodies, particularly when wearing a thong. During a time when full-bottomed undies were all the rage, this opened up a discussion as to whether it was socially acceptable to rock a barely there panty in public.
Fast forward a decade and a half later, and the thin fabric better known as "butt floss" has become a staple part of a woman's wardrobe. Walk into your nearest Victoria's Secret and you'll find over-sized photos of models in their barely there lacy underwear. It certainly gives off a certain sex appeal, but the question often arises as to whether the often over-priced pieces of fabric are used more for pleasure or if they actually have a greater purpose. During casual conversations with friends, I was surprised to find out that a lot of us could do without ever wearing a thong again!
Do women really love thongs?
From woman to woman, the feelings about the sexy undies are split right down the middle, no pun intended. But what about this choice of underwear makes a woman feel sexy and wanted? What is it about these unmentionables that make us stare in our mirrors and say, “hot dayum!" no matter what side of comfort we stand on?
We spoke to a few women about their experience with the magical panties and they dished on why they choose to either wear thongs or why they vowed to never wear them again, as well as a comfortable alternative to wearing the intimate string.
Thong Love:
“I started wearing [thongs] to make my husband happy. I thought they were terribly uncomfortable, initially. Shortly thereafter, I realized that I was never picking at my underwear. I never had underwear lines and my butt just generally looked better. And even through pregnancy, I never went back to regular panties!" ~ MammaBear Brown
“Love them [thongs]! They are basically all I wear. I hate panty lines and thongs just make my butt look a lot better!" ~ Sharontina Brightman
“I love them because I hate seeing my underwear outline underneath my skirts or dresses. They are comfortable and so sexy for me." ~ Trudean Wright-Haye
“Wearing a thong to me is comfortable when wearing the right size. I like the fact that you can wear clothes and not see a panty line; I like not having to worry about regular underwear riding my butt." ~ Amber Lanaee
Stuck in the Middle:
“A thong is a fashion thing, not a sexy thing. Sexy is a way of being. Sexy is how you wear it not what your wearing. A woman can be sexy if she wears boxers, boy shorts, briefs, or nothing at all. But fashion is how you put it on. At times they may be uncomfortable, but thongs give you an invisible look under clingy garments making your fashion statement more flawless." ~ Shay Monroe
I just know I was terrified when I first had to wear one back in high school as part of the band dance team. I remember being like what is this and why is it going in my private area? But now its not that big of a deal. I don't wear em on a regular basis but when I do wear them I can't tell too much of a difference. -Ashleigh Hardin-Jones
You need a thong for your drawer, because you're going to have that one dress that is so sexy, and you can't wear boyshorts or granny panties with it, but it's not my every day preference to wear a thong, or shop for one. For the record (I am going to put it out there, I am 180 lbs with a size 40 hip), so skinny spaghetti panties, won't work for me. The cheeks can hang out, but nothing else can lol! - Nadine Jerome
I think wearing thongs on a regular basis is a feisty thing. Also a woman's best underwear option when it comes to provocative attire (tight pants, see-through clothing). The only way the thong makes me feel sexy, is if I'm showing it off to my significant other to spice things up.. Lol. I personally do not wear thongs regularly, they're a little uncomfortable for my behind. PINK booty shorts are my go to panties. ~ Sasha Marina
Thong Be Gone:
“I hate them! They are uncomfortable to me. It feels like I have a permanent wedgie." ~ Cece Janell
“I despise thongs. I have sensitive skin and thongs do not help at all. Although I do love the invisible lines when wearing anything form-fitting, I can do the same with boy-shorts." ~ Ciarra Lambert
“When I was younger, I loved them! [Now] my backside is too big for them, they get lost. Due to my lack of exercise, I wear a skin smoothing boy short to conceal panty lines and butt dimples lol." ~ Rose Velez-Miggins
“I hate all underwear actually, but the thong, for me, really has no purpose. I actually go commando. I think they are very pretty, but if you wear them for no panty lines then why not go without them period. It's like walking around with a permanent wedgie all day." ~ Devon Brown
"I hate thongs! I absolutely hate them. I'm instantly reminded of what a wedgie feels like, that discomfort. I wear thongs for my man. He loves the way my ass cheeks tantalize him while I'm wearing them. If it wasn't for the look on his face or the way he bites his lip, I would never wear them." - Sheriden Garrett
Are you a thong lover or a can you do without them? Let us know below!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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