

Not Going Home For The Holidays Empowered Me To Choose Myself
This year has provided us all with a new outlook on how we celebrate ourselves, the ones we love and, of course, special occasions like weddings, birthdays and baby showers. But even before this global pandemic, the holiday season had started to take on a new definition for me.
For the past decade, I've lived over two thousand miles away from my closest friends and family.
Which means I, the person with seemingly more flexibility and no children, has oftentimes been expected to take on the onus of holiday travel. The hustle and bustle of airports, the long lines for rental cars and the inflated airline ticket costs are a great way to kill the yuletide cheer before it even begins. Not to mention the convos centered around if and when you're settling down, starting a family or moving back home once you've arrived. So last year, I decided if I was going to be "home for the holidays", it was going to mean being in my own home and if I was going to spend my hard-earned cash, it was going to be on myself.
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Now I know if you're a woman-identifying person, especially a Black one, you may have cringed at that last statement.
Oftentimes, we're taught to put everyone else before ourselves. To stretch ourselves thin to please others. To give with reckless abandon. So much so, that the thought of making ourselves a priority makes us uncomfortable.
But I wanted to reclaim my holiday season even if it meant not seeing some of the people I've long cherished. I had hard conversations with family and friends who thought it was "sad" that I'd be spending the holidays alone or had just become used to my yearly winter exodus that it never occurred to them that my entire Christmas experience was shaped around their traditions, not my own.
And I realized a few things.
First, I don't like decorating Christmas trees. No, seriously. I love lights. And wreaths. Personalized stockings are adorable. But Christmas trees? Hard pass. It occurred to me that every year I was doing something that I actually didn't even like doing in the name of holiday cheer. I wondered how many other things in my life I did for any number of seemingly obligatory reasons and then set about tearing down any other monuments to pleasing others that remained. Christmas carols? Bye. Christmas movie soundtracks? Yes, ma'am. On and on I went until I was left with what I, and only I, found to be most pleasing about this part of the year that can lead to so much unnecessary anxiety, financial strain and overextension.
It was, without a doubt, one of the most fulfilling Christmases I've ever had.
I missed the time shared with my loved ones, of course, but I was so grateful for being able to remember that the greatest gift I can give myself is to honor the things that matter to me. And how can I truly do that if I don't make time to figure out what those things are? The reason for the season is truly being able to look back on what is, hopefully, a year of growth and prosperity, to truly be able to rest and plan for the year coming and to be present---not just in the physical---with those we love.
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I had much more in-depth conversations with the people I hold dearest being away from them than I have wearing ugly sweaters and drinking spiked apple cider in years past. I was in a much happier mood not having to fight through the throes of people in packed airports scrambling to make it to their destinations. The gifts that I bought myself, while not lavish in the least, were things that brought me joy and added to my personal goals.
I have zero regrets about choosing myself last Christmas.
Heading into a holiday season that will force many of us to redefine what this time of year is all about--I'm glad I got a head start on being my own north star. Whether you'll be with family or will be spending this joyful time alone, I want you to set aside a moment to honor your own desires for these final weeks of 2020. Give a full body "no" to the things that don't set your soul on fire and a full body yes to those things that do.
Decide how much of your energy and resources will go into others, cut it in half and redirect it into yourself. Trust me, after a year like this one, you need it more than you think. Be open to the possibility of you being the only yuletide cheer you truly need and embracing that wholeheartedly. Create new traditions and let go of old ones that no longer serve the person you are or want to become. Unwrap the parts of you that don't need to come to 2021 and bask in the presence of all that you are.
Everything else can wait.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.